Kelly Osbourne -- Best Legs Since Vampirella!

Kelly Osbourne

Vampirella

This morning I was watching a celebrity fashion show and Kelly Osbourne was wearing a mini skirt. I couldn’t help but notice how amazing her legs looked! In fact, I haven’t seen legs that great since I was a kid in the 1970s, reading “Vampirella” magazines.

I was like, “Kelly has Vampirella legs! Cool!”

And that’s all I have to say about Kelly “you go girl” Osbourne, but her reminding me of Vampirella brought back some sweet childhood memories.

When I was a kid, maybe 9 or 10 years old, during the summer, I’d go into my mom’s closet while she was at work and I’d take out her black boots (very similar to the ones Vampi has in the above photo, which fit snug around the leg) and just wear the boots and run around in my bathing suit, pretending to be Vampirella. I also pretended to be Bat Girl, Cat Woman, Charleton Heston, Isis, Cher and a mermaid — so I kept my hair very long in order to play all the parts.

Every summer, for years, I’d be living in an amazing fantasy world, reading comic books, “Planet of the Apes,” “Vampirella,” “Creepy,” “Eerie,” and “Plop” were my favorites. I also loved “Archie.”

“Planet of Apes” was my favorite book, movie and comic. Then there was another great book called “Planet of the Blind” which was very similar to “Planet of the Apes.”

I would sit on the back porch during the summer with a stack of comic books and a bag of Wise barbecue potato chips. It was so nice when I didn’t have to go to school.

I loved my bug catcher. I always had it filled with butterflies, grasshoppers, lady bugs and caterpillars.

Life was so much fun and so simple.

Now that I’m almost 50, times have changed. I haven’t seen a grasshopper, caterpillar or praying mantis in so many years. Everything is built up. Deer have no place to go and they are always where they shouldn’t be. The only bugs I see are the annoying ones like mosquitoes.

If I could go back to being a kid and look into the future, I wonder what I’d think? Although so much change sounds overwhelming to me, as a kid, hearing all these things would probably be exciting: having a phone you could take everywhere, a computer to communicate with friends all over the world, the ability to hear any music you want any time — not just waiting to hear your favorite song coming on the radio and hoping you catch the whole thing from the beginning. Wow!

I wonder if the young me would laugh, knowing the old me will still pick up a Vampirella magazine or an Archie comic from time to time? No way, I was too cool to laugh or make fun of someone — only dorks did that!

I’d definitely be more like, “Hell, yeah! I can’t wait to grow up to be that awesome chick!”

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