I want everyone to know how much I love you!
(But not everyone deserves to know!)
Many years ago a co-worker told me this most amazing, off the hook Valentine’s Day her husband had planned for her.
I was still single and in awe of their love and the generous, creative gift he was giving her. This couple also had the most beautiful little boy. What a gorgeous, gorgeous family — all three of them!
I was not only thrilled to hear about her Valentine’s Day, but honored that she liked me enough to share the news with me! Why? Because I was the only person she told about the trip. She didn’t want to tell others because she feared jealousy. But I was trusted because I’m not that way and I can be totally happy for someone else. And I sure was!
When people fall in love, they want to share it to the world! And they do. Wedding vows are said out loud for all to hear. Hands are held in public. Some even make-out in their cars during red lights. Those in love float around with such a glow on their faces, there is no denying who is in love! And all our loved ones are happy for us when we fall in love.
But not everyone is in love with love. And now that I’m happily married — I totally understand where this girl was coming from in not wanting to cast her precious jewels before swine.
The green-eyed monster and bitter pill gets some people BIG TIME. And it never ceases to amaze me what creepy bullshit comes out of people’s mouths. They make their envy so obvious!
Sometimes it takes me awhile to pick up on this ugly behavior because I see the good in everyone. But once it’s evident that someone is jealous of my relationship with my husband, I clamp my mouth shut — not only about him but about everything else in my life. Because if someone is jealous about love, they’ll be jealous of other aspects of your life too, such as career, creativity, your other friendships, maybe money if you have it (I sure don’t! LOL!)
I will not share what I do on weekends with a bitter person. I don’t share the creative things I’ve done with my husband. And if a jealous person asks about him, I’ll simply give a sharp one-word answer and change the subject.
It will go something like this:
Q: “How was your weekend?”
A: “Terrific…………” (word dragged out to put emphasis on: “I don’t want to talk about it to you, please go away” as I turn my head and make no eye contact) ….
Conversation done!
I just refuse to participate in negativity. No ifs, ands or buts about it!
Misery may love company, but I’m sorry, I’m just not miserable. Get over it!
I hate acting like this because by nature, I’m a sweet, honest and loving person. Just a mere mortal on this planet who is happily in love (isn’t that what life is all about?), not just with my husband, but with life itself!
I’m certainly not a celebrity desperately seeking privacy! I’d love to just live naturally as possible, talking casually about my life, my friends, my pets, my family, and of course my husband.
I hate secrets. I hate censoring conversation. I hate trying to avoid conversation with certain people.
However, when it comes to jealousy, there really is something to that saying, “Do not cast your jewels before swine.”
Love is something very precious and special, that should be cherished and held close to your heart and I just can’t see sharing something about my relationship to someone that’s going to be resentful, envious and try to mock what I have.
But the beauty is, I have many friends who are also in beautiful relationships that I can share things with.
And I thank God for them!
And I also thank God for those who aren’t in beautiful relationships — YET (but they will be!)
Because it just shows that not everyone is jealous and there are SO MANY fantastic people out there
People who know that there is so much LOVE in this world for everyone, including themselves someday
(YES! That’s what I always thought for me!)
God provides to all who truly want.
And if it’s love you want, there is PLENTY out there, just waiting for YOU!
(And when it happens please feel free to share with me, because I’ll be the happiest for YOU!)
Maryanne, The world needs more people like you, who have no place for negativity in their lives.
Aww, thanks Andrew! I feel the same about you. You are definitely one person who overcame obstacles in your life and moved forward with grace! Your love with Rhonda illustrates what a good person you are. Your comments are always a blessing! ((HUGS))
I totally understand. There are things I don’t say to some of my family members about my children doing really well because they get ‘weird’ with me so I just shut up completely. It’s really sad that some people are like this, but I guess it takes all types to make up this world!
Yeesh. I don’t get it. Sorry you have to deal with that, especially with children involved. No one should take their issues out on children, that is just not right.
I like the way you put it “they get weird” — that’s totally it!
We can all do with some love in our lives! Lol Like your post! Hugs Paula xx
“What the world needs now, is love sweet love. No not just for some, but for everyone.” — Dionne Warwick
Great post Maryanne
Yes, I too once thought people would love to hear about the good things in my life, and be able to take some joy from them as I can do with others. But so often a back handed compliment, a snide remark or actual sabotaging or destructive behavior can follow such sharing.
It’s always safer to be pitied than hated. Some people have a need to feel superior, I say feed their need while you must and then avoid that person when you can. Other’s take genuine pleasure in hearing of other people’s accomplishments and positive life events, those are the ones you wanna open up to
Speaking of which, thanks for sharing!
Rohan.
Excellent words as always Rohan! And thanks for the smiles in regard to my sharing. There’s a lot more good stuff coming up in the near future. If I don’t blog about it, I’ll definitely email you
That’s great! Very much looking forward to seeing what’s coming up
Do keep me in the loop!
Take care Maryanne, all the best
Rohan.
Jealousy is the worst thing in the world. I tend to surround myself with people who a happy if I am happy and that I can be happy for, if they find happiness. It is difficult, however, as I think it is hard for anyone who is desperately seeking something that they see you having. The sad part about it is that those who are feeling the jealously make themselves unhappy. Never being able to see the good that they have in life and constantly wanting what someone else has, without realising that nothing is perfect and they will always see something that appears, to them, to be better.
Yes, that’s a perfect way to put it. I tend to surround myself with positive people as well, but some people invent a facade of being happy/positive, but after knowing someone, say six months, the negativity trickles out. I started this new rule about a year ago — don’t invite a friend into your home unless you know him/her at least six months, as I got very hurt by someone a year ago who not only proved to be a bad friend, but cheated me out of a lot of money! (Not money I lent him, but money we had a contract for that he never owned up to paying!)
I think as a whole, a lot of people are selfish and we need to go back to the time of our old aunts and uncles where people were considered “nosy” but at least they cared! In this day and age people are all about themselves! It’s a “me, me, me, me” world and that is sad. It’s a trend nowadays where people (of all ages, even old people) tune others out if it’s not about them.
So I thank God, constantly, for those in my life who are positive and happy for the good things in my life (as I am with theirs, as well as feeling compassion for them when they are hurting — some even say I feel TOO MUCH compassion for others, but that’s how I am!).
Anyway, I feel like a celebrity when I am around these friends (and my husband too of course). And that’s how life should be
“And if it’s love you want, there is PLENTY out there, just waiting for YOU!” I love this. You’re a good person, Maryanne
Aww, thanks hun! I think love comes to those who truly want it. Right before I met my husband, I had a few VERY BAD relationships, one right after the other — the worst ever, as in the past I was always a good picker when it came to boyfriends (some I am still friends with and are super cool guys!)
But after those bad relationships I didn’t get bitter about it, I just held my head high, kept doing the things I loved and BAM, when I least expected it, I upgraded from a bunch of dump trucks (the idiots) to a most amazing Bel Air model (my favorite car, that would be my husband) And it was like, “Yep, he’s the one!” I knew from the get-go and so did he
So, that’s a perfect example that there is someone for everyone, when you want it
My dear you will be on e of the first ones I tell when I finally meet my Mr. Wonderful!!!!!!
xoxoxo
ivonne
Aww, I am honored and I can’t wait!! xoxox