Okay, I’m not THIS bad! But close!
Here is one to definitely file under the “dumb me” file.
Last night was a super amazing fun time at http://www.wdvrfm.org/ where my husband played bass with Hounds of Winter on a holiday show hosted by Deirdre Gilmartin, which I will post about in a near future date once I get the wonderful photos that Darlene Foster took of everyone.
So, I’m getting ready and I’m all dressed up, wearing shoes beautiful enough to make Carrie Bradshaw swoon and high enough to make Lady Gaga feel like a suburban housewife in comparison. The radio host even complimented me on the shoes — a Nine West pair my husband bought me one of our first Christmases together in Peddler’s Village.
Now mind you, my husband loves the fact that I am petite and prefers me wearing ballerina flats or a low heeled boot or sandal. And I do love that look too (thanks to being inspired by Amy Winehouse and her ballerina flats). He always hugs me and says, “You’re so tiny!” as I am only 5’2″
Plus, in addition to being a musician, he’s also an artist, so he’s great at choosing clothes for me that I’d never see myself in, but turns out he’s right — they end up looking super and I get compliments. How great is that?
Anyway, I walk out of my dressing room, ready to go and Dennis is like, “How pretty!” Then he sees the shoes I’m wearing, with the 5 inch heel and goes, “Oh, you’re going to be tall tonite.”
Then he adds, “You know, this is going to be in a very small radio station. It’s very low key.”
I’m like, “It’s Christmas! I want to look festive!”
So, we get to the radio station and it’s in this quaint little town that nobody ever heard. The parking lot is so small and all the spots were taken, so we park a block away and I’m walking over cobblestone in these heels.
Getting there wasn’t so bad and I was fine once I got in.
Then getting back to the car was a bitch. Due to my excitement of my hubby being on the radio, I couldn’t be still. I stood and watched the whole time and only took a short sit once at the end of the night.
Now it’s 12:30 a.m. and I am tired. But before we go back to our car, we go to Tommy and Darlene’s car because Dennis wanted to get some of the Hounds of Winter Christmas CDs. It was a gorgeous night and I was all set for a nice walk, forgetting that I’ve been standing in my stilts for two hours and now my legs were tired. And again, I’d have to walk over cobblestone streets!
So I walk over to Tommy and Darlene’s car, at this point I’m walking like an elderly woman minus the cane. Tommy hands Dennis 20 CDs, but Dennis’ hands/arms were full as he had his bass and his amp. So he hands me the CDs. I go to reach them and they drop all over the parking lot. We’re both awkwardly picking them all up and we’re cracking up.
Then Dennis decides to carry everything — CDs too, between his fingers and thumb, so of course that’s not gonna work. We get a few feet and then the CDs go flying out of his hands, into the street. (Thank GOD it was a small quiet town with no cars around).
We’re both scurrying around the middle of the street to pick up the CDs and I’m bending over like an elderly woman. Then Tommy sees us and jumps out of the car, giving us a plastic bag to put the CDs in.
We’re all laughing like crazy. We gather up the CDs and wave good-bye to Tommy and Darlene and get into our car.
First thing I do is kick off the shoes. Sweet relief!
We turned on the heater and my toes were snuggly warm for the hour plus ride home!
The night before, Dennis and I were Christmas shopping and we went our separate ways. Of course I ended up looking at shoes and heard a young couple, an Asian woman (unusually taller than an average Asian woman) and an Italian guy, debating about what shoes the woman should get.
She was parading around in a gorgeous pair of black knee high boots with a high heel.
The guy was arguing with her (in a cute way) telling her that the boots were not practical and she could get something different.
I had to put my two cents in and I offered, “Those boots are gorgeous! Perfect for a holiday party! Get them, and then get a practical pair too.”
The Italian guy said, “You friggin’ women are all alike!”
We ladies laughed, as the guy kept saying how inappropriate her boot choice was.
I said, “You’re like my husband. He prefers the flats too.”
Then the Italian guy pulls a pair of Gene Simmons-like boots from the shelf and said, “How would you husband feel if you came home wearing these?”
Then my husband appeared out of nowhere and said, “She already owns boots like that!”
Then the Asian girl said, “In my country, I am too tall and I was never able to meet anyone. Nobody liked me.”
I said, “So you had to come to the United States to meet a small Italian!”
She said, “Yes” and giggled.
The Italian guy said, “And we have a word in Italian for a lady in those type of boots!”
I said, “Let me guess, does it start with a ‘P’?”
The moral of the story — while a lady can be smart enough to pick a great guy (with a great sense of humor), her choice of shoe may be questionable.
But life is short and if the shoe fits, wear it for as long as you can.
Needless to say, this morning my thighs were sore and my work-out was limited to a 10-minute child’s yoga session.