In Praise of Positive Women!

Published January 10, 2013 by Maryanne

Women and Stars by George MatteiPhoto I modeled for called “Woman and Stars” by George Mattei

Today I ran into two different types of women. One was one of the most positive women I ever met in my life; the other was similar to many women I know — a Debbie Downer — the kind of person who can take any conversation and turn it into a negative. Even when I said to this woman, “Please shut up — there are positive forces that can hear your negativity and make life not so pretty by focusing on this stuff,” she continued with her negative banter.

This was not a friend of mine, but a cashier at the car wash. The time before this time she was upset, crying over something and I had to console her. I’ve yet to have a positive conversation with this person because no matter what you say she’ll put a bad spin on it. Each time I go to this car wash I put an invisible shield of white light armor around myself so I’m not hurt by her adversity. And it’s a shame because she is always full of smiles. She’s not a snob, a gossip or an anti-social person. She just needs to up her game, big time, and get some sunshine in her life.

But then I thank the universe for the positive women. Positive women are fewer to find, but they have so much grand energy that it can keep you on an up beat for hours on end!

The positive woman I met today is someone I’ve been doing business with from when I was still a writer at Montclair Times, then on a freelance basis and now someone I will be working with again with my Pear Tree company next month.

I love being in this woman’s company so much because her energy is so positive and she lets God lead her life. leaving the positive things to the universe.

One time someone told me that I should know what I want in life. But I think I’m a happier person for not knowing EXACTLY what I want and letting God choose for me because ultimately I want to utilize my God given talents for his glory, not mine.

Actually this woman was the person who inspired me to start my own business.  When I was unhappy at a newspaper I worked at after seven years and ready to move on, she shared about a time she came to crossroads in her life and said to herself, “I don’t know where I’m supposed to be, but it’s not here.” And then she left a cushy corporate job to start her own business that has massage and facials, but with a very spiritual tone. You walk into her place and you can feel the euphoria of love and caring.

And that’s exactly my state of mind since I’ve started Pear Tree in 2008. I left it all up in God’s hands and it never ceased to amaze me how the best people to work with came into my life. Yes, having your own business is not always stable. It’s like riding a wave. From last summer until Hurricane Sandy, I was so busy I didn’t have a chance to breathe, but when I took long weekend vacations I was so happy that I had a ton of work to come back to. Now I am going through a sadly slow period, but I love that I can now have some free time to do things with friends and make the effort to seek new clients and dream about what God has planned for me next. Trusting in God. Trusting in my faith. And trusting in myself and my talents. What a beautiful way to live. It’s like being a child who has nothing to worry about because of the love of a parent. That is how God loves us. Wouldn’t it be great if more people trusted him?

So to answer the question, what do I want? I just want more of the same, to write, to promote, to be of personal assistance. I think those are the top three things that I do best and I just want to continue to have Pear Tree.

Another very positive woman in my life was an older lady I once worked with. A couple years before starting my own business (and before meeting my husband), I was a single woman living in an amazing rent control two bedroom apartment with a kitchen, dining room, living room, bathroom and two bedrooms, plus a ton of closet and cabinet space (even more so than the house I live in now!) When they decided to up the rent three times what I was paying, I decided to no longer live there. If I was going to pay crazy rent, I was going to move to an area I loved, so I moved to Montclair — in an over-priced studio (which meant getting rid of so many of my possessions, including a hope chest filled with publications my articles appeared in). But for those who know Montclair, it’s like living in a mini-Manhattan (circa 1990s before it became so homogenized). You could walk to art galleries, movie theaters, health food stores and boutiques, so it was a dream to live there.

But how was I going to afford to live there? How would this work?

This lady I was friends with said, “Make it work.” And tah-dah, I did make it work!

I am always secretly thanking the universe for these two positive women, whose words of wisdom keep coming back to me over and over again.

And just like them, I want to be the positive woman who inspires other women. And it is so easy when you are working with women who are pretty positive to begin with; with negative women, it may not be so easy! But I’ve tapped into a way to help women who aren’t so positive, I just keep giving them more and more love because they need it more. And someday I am sure they will change for the better. We all can and do. We are not fixed.

Is there a positive woman in your life who has inspired you? Please share your stories, or feel free to comment on mine!

We women have to stick together, let’s continue to inspire each other! And if we know we are not very inspiring, let’s pull ourselves out from that Debbie Downer down swing and get up out of our slump and be the woman we were meant to be!

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8 comments on “In Praise of Positive Women!

  • Thanks Maryanne…. I was nodding and saying YEP, all the way through your blog 😀
    LOVE it, I agree “make it work” if it is really important to you.
    People think money is important, blah, blah, blah – but you can’t go past a good old “intangible vibe” because money can’t buy that!!!!!

  • It’s tough being positive, inspirational etc., because negativity is an easy path to follow and a wily trap. Being positive requires a purposeful effort and sometimes if feels like swimming upstream. It looks like you are now a positive mentor for others and it flows throughout your writing.

    • Yes, it seems that negativity is an easy path to follow. I recently wrote something positive on someone’s blog and another reader twisted it around to make it negative and we ended up bickering. Thanks so much for your kind words, it’s not always easy but I do prefer to take the high road 🙂

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