My Struggles with ADHD Symptoms

Published February 8, 2013 by Maryanne

SAM_0289From my own personal collection, Dr. Edward Hallowell and myself.

Last night I had an assignment from Alternative Press to cover a lecture Dr. Edward Hallowell gave at a local church. Here is the article I wrote: http://thealternativepress.com/towns/millburn-slash-short-hills/articles/dr-edward-hallowell-sheds-light-on-adhd

Dr. Hallowell is a psychologist and NY Times bestselling author who has been on popular televisions shows such as Oprah and Dr. Oz.

In his lecture, Dr. Hallowell shed light on Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), which was a real eye-opener for me, personally, because after hearing his lecture I suspected I may have ADHD, as I had so many of the symptoms of the condition, especially growing up and in school. Each and every moment of his lecture I was like, “That’s me, that’s me, that’s me.”

And I am still struggling now as I am not consistent with many of the things I do in my life, unless I make that “connection” Hallowell speaks of in my article. So I took an online psychology test and it illustrated that I have moderate ADHD.

Moving forward, as Dr. Hallowell suggests, I continue my life with non-medication treatment, as living a holistic lifestyle has helped me more than any prescription drug, as I also struggled with depression throughout my 30s. And still struggle with dyslexia.

So, yeah, great, now I have dyslexia AND ADHD!

But I think once a person can put a name to something they have been struggling with, it’s like finding that final piece to the puzzle.

I will continue to investigate on my own, as I’ve yet to find a therapist I really connect with. And it’s just so time-consuming and frustrating and eats up so much of your hard earned cash!

“Connect” is that key word and I am so blessed, in a world where people don’t take the time to connect with others, to have found many people in both work and love that I do connect with.

And I thank them for changing my life and helping me with my struggles that I never knew where they came from.

It’s so frustrating going through life thinking you are “stupid” and feel embarrassed about things that aren’t your fault, no matter how much you accomplished in life and no matter how much famous and successful and talented and special, loving people tell you how great your work is!

And right now I have to be honest and say I am so pissed off and heartbroken by so many people who never gave me a chance and/or gave up on me too soon, whether it be career or friendships.

But knowing this will only make me a stronger and better person.

As always.

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14 comments on “My Struggles with ADHD Symptoms

  • I really like your article Mary Ann and it’s so good that you discovered something so important about yourself. Life seems to make much more sense when we understand why we are like we are and accept ourselves for that 😉

    • I’m glad you like the article, Dianne. I wrote it from the heart and even did some research to fill in the gaps where Dr. Hallowell only touched slightly as the lectures was just about an hour before he did a Q&A segment. Life certainly does make sense when we understand things about ourselves — on so many levels. There’s a lot more to my struggles than this, but I am not ready to share them yet 🙂

  • I’m happy to hear you found supportive people along your journey. You seem to have triumphed over all the obstacles and it’s hard, I know, but try to let go of the pain caused by those that didn’t understand you due to their own ignorance and celebrate where and who you are today. Great post and I enjoyed the article too. Best, BP

  • Wow, I would have never thought that you struggled with depression since you are so postive. Well, if others gave up on you it was their loss and it left you open for different oppurtunities. Oh yeah and I too have slight dyslexia with numbers–so yeah I really suck at math—good thing I don’t need to know math to be a writer. oh and when you are heartbroken do what I do–write a poem or a song—–

    and thank you for sharing your inner world with us.

    🙂

    Ivonne

    • Hi Ivonne, yes, I struggled a lot with depression in my 30s, right after my grandmother died. Writing pulled me through and once I got into health, that got rid of most of the depression and now I have about 90 percent happiness with the 10 percent creeping in. My dyslexia with numbers is the worst, I actually have the shakes whenever I have to go to the bank, which is more than a normal person because having my own business I have money coming from various sources. 🙂

  • Reading this was emotional for me. People always pick on me. I have always thought I was flakey or quirky but My Dr. says I have ADHD. My sister is a Teacher and suspected it a long time ago. She received a diagnostic test for ADD/ADHD and immediately called to give it to me. We laughed. I always laugh when people say M, FOCUS! But there are down sides to it too. The world is tough to maneuver for people who don’t fit the 9-5, structured, detail oriented, anal secretary work force/societal mold…

    • AMEN to that! I can’t deal with 9 to 5 either, so I started my own business in 2008 (which has been really down since Hurricane Sandy). People really are mean, and seeing the same ones all the time in a 9 to 5 world just doesn’t work for me. You give someone six months and their true colors come out. But working with various people all the time I don’t see that and it’s so much better for me because I’m so hyper sensitive. I lost a couple good jobs because I was told I was “too creative.”

      I’m sorry to hear people pick on you, but that must mean you’re unique and they are jealous. There’s a guy on here, whose blog I follow, named Rohan. He wrote a book on being happy and pointed out that bullies always choose to pick on those who they are intimidated by.

      Good luck to you and just remember how special you are! 🙂

      • Oh no worries, darlin’. I can handle being picked on. It’s all in fun and I know what I’m like so I don’t get offended. I’ve always been hyper-sensitive too…in that I can feel everyone’s pain, I feel things more deeply but also in relation to the senses…hearing, smell, sight and touch. Now as far as being “too” creative goes. You can never be that IMO but it seems more difficult for “creative types” like us to find success in our culture. And thank you for being so encouraging! 😀

  • Maryanne, can it be that you are – like most creative people – fast and sometimes impatient and, also, often – anxious, without having ADHD? Dunno, i but i am highly suggestive and whatever i read of, i feel i have the symptoms… We have challenges, all of us, i have anxiety attacks among else, but i am trying not to put labels as it leads to other things… Sorry if this comes across as impolite or inconsiderate, please believe me that it’s not meant in that way.
    Love,
    Lena

    • Hi Lena, That makes so much sense! Thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights. Yes, I am definitely impatient and while creative things (like writing) come so fast to me, I struggle terribly with accounting and math. Even drawing, which I am good at, I won’t do because it takes so long. (Same with writing a book).

      That’s true that labels lead to other things and I certainly don’t want to put myself in a category where I pull a certain card to give myself excuses. (That’s not my nature anyway).

      So, thanks, definitely something to consider!

      Love,
      Maryanne

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