Last night my husband and I were talking about our childhood crushes and he asked me if I ever had a crush on a television star or if it was always musicians.
It was always musicians.
A late bloomer, I didn’t have my first real crush until I was about 11- or 12-years-old and it was on Ian Mitchell of The Bay City Rollers. He was just the cutest thing and I started buying all the 1970s Tiger Beats and 16 magazines just to have a lot of pictures of him. Ian Mitchell wasn’t an original Roller as he was first featured on their “Dedication” album.
Shortly after that musician crush, I moved on to Freddie Mercury of Queen. A classmate said that I “go from one extreme to the other.”
My crush on Freddie Mercury lasted at least two years from ages 12 to 14. Again, I went crazy with the magazines, but Freddie Mercury wasn’t in 16 and Tiger Beat, I had to move on to Creem, Circus and Hit Parader. Soon all the pictures of Ian on my wall were replaced with Freddie Mercury pictures and posters. I got all the Queen albums and stole my mom’s vitamins, thinking they would help me stay awake to watch Queen on Don Kirschner’s Rock Concert, which came on at 1 a.m. on Saturday night.
I still have my year book album and the entry a friend wrote, “I hope you marry Freddie Mercury someday.”
Crushes on musicians soon became a reality because from my first boyfriend onward it was always musicians. And if someone I was interested in wasn’t a musician he had to at least have a record collection bigger than mine or the relationship was doomed by me being bored with him.
Music is my favorite thing in the world and there is just something so special about a person with musical talent. Maybe subconsciously because I fail in this area, having no rhythm or even the desire to pick up an instrument — even after trying so many: guitar, violin, viola, keyboard, singing lessons, the best I can do is sing back-up or write lyrics (at least they are GOOD lyrics!)
I also think, as an independent kind of person, a musician naturally respects that independence. I think a lot of women would agree that it’s annoying if someone counts on you 24/7 to make his life complete. That kind of energy is just undo-able! It’s nice that if you feel you want to read a book or something, your significant other can go off in his studio and practice a song.
Music is such a God-given talent and I’m always impressed by people (both men and women) who can express themselves musically. As much as I love art and reading and even yoga as an art, music will always be my favorite thing in the creative field.
People who gravitate to music whether they have an actual talent, or just a great appreciation as I do (having a huge music collection and an extreme need to hear live music as often as possible), seem to be the most sensitive, easiest to talk to, most caring, most amazing people. And funny as hell, I might add. (What’s that saying, every musician wishes he could be a comedian?)
There are those who keep up with the Joneses, but I prefer to keep up with the Tom Joneses and the Davy Joneses. So I have a confession to make: if I can’t talk music with someone, I just ain’t interested!
Many years ago when I was very young (early 20s) and super single (as in no prospects at all on the horizon!) one of my young co-workers wanted to fix me up with someone. When she showed me his photo I was impressed. He looked like a young Elvis. And then he was even cuter in person. He was kind and generous, treating our table of six to a wonderful meal. But when I asked him the magic question, “What kind of music do you like?” He said he didn’t know.
What kind of answer was that? I knew we weren’t going to get far and I didn’t even kiss him goodnight. I mean, this guy was a total catch — for another lovely young lady, but not for me.
I need to talk music!
Oh yeah … over the years I’ve dated actors, artists, other writers, but always came back to musicians. It is true, music makes the world go ’round. While most young women dream of a romantic dinner, my favorite dates were always concerts, whether it was in an arena or just seeing a local band in a dive bar. Music is, was and always will be the romantic back-drop to my life. And my soundtracks are endless. Each and every song I know reminds me of a story (or several stories) of my life.
Now I’m not saying that EVERY musician is the cat’s meow. Oh no, definitely not! I’ve dated quite a few “winners” (meaning “losers”) that were musicians. For instance, there was one, no TWO actually, who were such ego maniacs that they got offended if I listened to any music other than THEIRS! (Eww, right?)
And then there was another who was so high on himself he actually said he thanked his mother for being so good-looking. Eww, again!
And then what’s that saying, “What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?” HOMELESS! It is so true that to the stereotype that SOME musicians are moochers, as well as cheaters, and flakes, and stalkers and those confused about their sexuality and everything else you’ve heard. But that is true with everyone (male and female alike). You just have to find that jewel in the haystack and then life is super duper good!
So while some relationships with musician were horrific, there were several that I’ll have great memories because they were simply cool and treated me right. It’s all about respect and I’m always happy knowing that even if someone wasn’t “THE ONE” I could still have that mutual respect and enjoy myself for as long as the mutual infatuation lasted. And when I see these dudes in bars or what not, I will always say “Hey, how ya doing?” It’s all good and I always wish them the best.
In spite of all the stereotypes, there are a ton of musicians out there who are hard-working, stable, loving, adoring, loyal and family-oriented. Deep down, I always knew this!
I finally met the musician of my dreams when I hooked up with my husband late 2005. Actually, I knew my husband since I was a teenager, as I used to follow his band Pharoah. And for about six months I was part of their theatrical stage show, but Dennis and I never really had a long conversation, it was more like, “Hey, how are you?” I always thought he was cute though, but neither of us were ever available. I always had a boyfriend and he always had a girlfriend.
In late 2005, Pharoah played a benefit concert for the drummer, Nelson, who lost his wife to cancer. That was the first time Dennis and I actually had a real conversation and a few weeks later we started dating and became inseparable. The sparks just flew!
We married 11/9/11 and are so happy.
One of the coolest things about my husband is that he’s not only a musician but a music fan! He is not intimated or jealous of other musicians, but rather in awe. Together we have the most massive collection of records and CDs.
We always have music playing in our home, both upstairs and downstairs. When we get ready to start our day, we’ll have blues or swing or The Monkees playing downstairs; and upstairs I’ll have the Sex Pistols or Sophie B. Hawkins or HIM.
We always go to live performances, especially in the summer when there are so many free concerts to take advantage of.
Once in a blue moon we’ll create together and write a song. We’re always having fun and being silly. We love taking long rides, listening to the radio and talking about anything and everything.
This is why I’m so happy all the time! My husband makes me complete in so many ways. He’s my go-to person when I’m sad and always there for me through thick and thin.
Parents may encourage their daughters to marry a doctor or a lawyer, but I say to be truly happy, marry a musician!