Does God Speak To Us Through the Chain of Coincidence?

Me and my Grandmother, 1994

Springtime is always magical and exciting. Your friends share about their new opportunities. Everyone is motivated to do something different. People feel alive, stay out later, start health/exercise programs. It’s a beautiful time of year.

It’s also a time for omens and messages and connecting the puzzle of life.

Originally I had planned on publishing my second book “Love Cats” the same time my first book “On the Guest List: Adventures of a Music Journalist” was published — during the cycle of Aquarius. “Aquarius is my favorite sign because some of the nicest people are Aquarius. (My husband is Aquarius). I was thrilled that my first born book was Aquarius.

“Love Cats” was ready for publication a long time ago. It could have been an Aquarius, but wasn’t. I kept stalling and Aquarius passed us. So did Pieces and Aries. Now “Love Cats” is with the publisher and will definitely be a Taurus when it’s officially published in a few weeks!

How could that be? It didn’t make sense until I put together the Taurus Connection of “Love Cats” which you can read about here: https://maryannemistretta.wordpress.com/2015/04/20/bizarre-taurus-magic-and-numerology/

And now the coincidences are getting more bizarre.

In addition to being an author, I am also a public speaker. I have a wide variety of topics I speak on in assisted living facilities, libraries, Jewish Community Centers, etc.

I’m often coming up with new ideas to keep me coming back to my favorite places, and to open doors to new places. I also love working with amazing people.

One of the coolest people I know, an Aquarius, named Carol Erickson, has become a good friend of mine over the years. She’s a beautiful songstress and her favorite performer is Ella Fitzgerald. I decided I wanted to work with Carol so I put together a series called “Learn and Listen” featuring the music of Ella Fitzgerald. (I also put together on featuring the music of Elvis Presley). The program entails a half hour bio on Ella, presented by myself, then a half hour of Ella’s music, sung by Carol.

Last night I started writing the Ella bio and was blown away by the number connection she had with my beloved Grandmother.

Check this out:

Ella was born in 1917. My Grandmother was born in 1918. My Grandmother died in 1995 of diabetes. She lost one leg. And had cataracts in both eyes. Ella died in 1996 of diabetes. She lost both legs. And had a cataract in one eye.

That’s where the Grandmother connections end, but then we go back to the Taurus connection — Ella Fitzgerald was a Taurus. And my first presentation of the Ella program with Carol will be on Monday, May 4, during the cycle of Taurus!

[And an interesting side note: Ella was born in Newport News, Viriginia. I had traveled there, alone, in the 1990s, two years after Ella died, to visit the Peta House, where I considered taking a job as an animal rights activist].

What does this all mean? I am not sure, but I am always open to interpretation. Today I have an exciting meeting that could change my life. Even if it doesn’t work out, the fact that I was considered for this meeting has my husband super duper high on the fact. He even told his brother about this meeting, he’s so proud of me!

Me, on the other hand, I am afraid to drive to the meeting, as it’s in the Pulaski Skyway area and I’m afraid of accidentally driving over the Skyway again. I was so nervous thinking about this, instead of going to bed last night when I was supposed to, I was sipping organic wine and researching about Ella Fitzgerald.

When I finally did go to sleep, I had a beautiful dream about my Grandmother. In the dream, I knew she was dead, but I was able to speak to her briefly. It was so surreal. And it made me realize that it’s not just about life after death — but life after life and life during life too.

I rarely dream about Grandma and I have to ask myself, is this an omen the meeting will be a success, or that just my drive there and back will be because she’s watching over me?

It could be her blessing for doing the Ella program. And to show that the tragedy of diabetes can happen to anyone, rich, poor or middle class.

When I read about Ella’s last day on earth, she just wanted to go outside in her wheelchair and be with her 12-year-old granddaughter. How significant, the dynamic of the love between Grandma and granddaughter.

We may not always know the answers, but with little signs God gives us through Astrology, numerology and coincidences, it shows many things that are pretty cool when we open our minds to interpretation. It’s His way of showing how our loved ones speak to us. Or how even God himself speaks to us — as He knows what is important to us and He gets us!

Beautiful Ella “Get Happy!”

Scars

Touching Your Community.com

By Anne Harding

Being bullied during childhood may have even graver consequences for mental health in adulthood than being neglected or sexually abused, according to the first-ever study to tease out the effects of peer abuse from childhood maltreatment.

Children in the study who had been bullied by their peers, but didn’t suffer maltreatment from family members, were more likely to have depression and anxiety in adulthood than children who experienced child abuse but weren’t bullied, according to researchers from the United .States. and United Kingdom.

One in 3 children worldwide reports being bullied, Dieter Wolke, a professor of psychology at the University of Warwick in Coventry, England, and his colleagues note in their report, published today (April 28) in the journal Lancet Psychology. Studies have shown that victims of bullying have impaired stress responses and high levels of inflammation, as well as worse health and less workplace success as…

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Recyclables Art Program for Children at Secaucus Library (And Animal Art too!)

“The Recycling Home” created by a young library patron

Children sharing their artwork

(Photo of children used with permission from parents)

Today Lorraine Brown and I presented our children’s art program, “Make Art Out of Recyclables” at the Secaucus Library, Secaucus, New Jersey (http://secaucuslibrary.org/).

Using recycled paper and various materials, children made cards; some for Mother’s Day and some just used free expression.

We had a fabulous time and look forward to going back! Thanks so much to librarian, Cecilia Mucciolo for having us!

If you’d like to have us present “Make Art Out of Recyclables” at your library (or children’s birthday party), please email me at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com

I’d also like to give a shout out to Richard Moglia, whose extraordinary art is currently featured at the Secaucus Library. Lorraine and I have a soft spot for animals, and we think it’s super duper cool that Richard Moglia donates work to help animal conservation!

I tried to find a website for Richard, but came up empty handed. But here’s a cool article I found on him: http://www.hudsonreporter.com/view/full_story/26377981/article-Portrait-of-the-apes-Local-artist-is-an-advocate-for-vanishing-primates-?

Enjoy some of the photos I took of his work:

You know me, I love to monkey around!

Lorraine Brown, loves animals as much as I do!

Portrait of a rescued lab monkey 

According to the note accompanying the photo, she really did smile like this!

Orangutan

Keep Rockin’ With Paleo Lifestyle

In my 40s

December, 2014, age 51

I blogged many times about embracing the paleo lifestyle. I started last summer when I was starting to feel sluggish and attributed it to pre-menopause. I was also getting dizzy spells in the morning. After speaking to two holistic doctors, I figured I’d give paleo a go — after being vegetarian 28 years! My prayers went out to the animals and I consumed some grass-fed beef. Within days I felt better. No more dizzy spells, less night sweats, and what is really cool — no hair in the shower drain after washing. And this is the age most women start to have thinning hair. (As a side note, no gray hair either, but I think that’s because I put raw apple cider vinegar on my salads all my adult life. It’s not genetics, my mother was gray early on).

Paleo is so easy to follow. Just eat REAL FOOD.

I offer a “Paleo for Beginners” lecture for libraries and here’s an interview I recently did for the Observer to promote one of my lectures: ww.newjerseyhills.com/observer-tribune/news/caveman-diet-discussed-in-long-valley/article_225401a6-6fcd-5968-8968-355e730c439a.html?mode=story

Note, I’m not even 100 percent paleo anymore, as I do love to eat some bread from time to time. But mind you, eating bread is not a habit, it’s a treat. By eating 75 or 80 percent paleo, you can still benefit.

The thing is, if you’re doing it to lose weight, you may not. You’ll lose inches! Do not go by the scale, you’ll get frustrated. Go by how your clothes fit you. A paleo “126” is not the same as a Standard American Diet “126.” Muscle weighs more than fat. The scale is a good tool, but it’s not the end all. Use your tape measure and watch how your clothes fit. Over the summer I tested on one of those very advanced scales and it read that I had the metabolic rate of someone who is 28-years-old! But I still prefer to go by how my clothes fit.

I recently had a laundry accident where I ruined most of my winter clothes. When New Jersey had a few cold days, I went through a bunch of very old clothes I was going to donate and found a pair of size 5 pants. I hadn’t seen size 5 in ages,  but these fit again!

And in the above photos, you can see I’m wearing the same pair of velvet pants from Tripp clothing that I wore in my 40s and now can still wear in my 50s. (I actually got those pants when I was in my late 30s!)

I shared this news in a paleo community and another paleo chick said she was in her 40s and fit into pants she had in high school!

When I first started paleo, I found two photos online of a middle-aged woman. In both pictures she weighed 155. The first photo she was your average middle-aged women. The second photo she was still 155 pounds after being paleo for a year — but now she had a perfectly flat stomach, her arms were chiseled to perfection and not one ounce of fat on her! It was mind-blowing how her body shifted for the better!

And if you don’t “cheat” on paleo for several months, you may even notice your facial muscles getting tighter, therefore making you look even younger. And why wouldn’t you? You’re putting nothing but the best foods in your body.

The coolest thing, after I got the much needed vitamins from meat, I don’t eat meat as much as I did when I first became paleo. I’ll now have meat once or twice a month. Same with chicken. I occasionally consume healthy items that are not paleo like beans or quinoa. But for the most part, it’s paleo with pastured eggs and wild caught fish for protein. And lots and lots of vegetables! Slab on that Kerry Gold butter — it does your body good!

It’s Greek Coffee to Me!

Oh, yeah!

Today I had my first Greek coffee ever. It was heavenly.

I love coffee, but I’m not a snob about it like I am with food. I’ll drink non-organic, Dunkin Donuts, espresso, etc. and mainly black when I’m out (and buttered at home, where I could blend it with my grass-fed butter and cold-pressed extra virgin coconut oil).

But after drinking Greek coffee, I may be ruined for anything else. It’s so rich and thick and gives you an incredible jolt of energy.

I tried this delightful treat at It’s Greek to Me in Holmdel, New Jersey. It’s Greek to Me is a chain restaurant, but foodies, do not let that discourage you. I’ve been a fan of this chain a few years now and the food is always super fresh. I had a small Greek salad and let me ask you, when does a foodie rave about romaine lettuce? When it tastes like it was just picked from the garden. When it’s so fresh that you just might confuse it with another type of green. I was so perplexed I asked the waiter, “What kind of lettuce is this?” I expected an exotic answer, but no, it was just romaine.

It’s Greek to Me has nine New Jersey locations. Until today, I’ve only been to the one in Clifton, but now I like this one so much better. As much as I always raved about how good the food was in Clifton … Holmdel has Clifton beat. The pita bread just melts in your mouth. Plus, the Holmdel eatery is more spacious.

Here’s a link to the It’s Greek to Me chain: http://itsgreektome.com/

The menu has a little something for everyone, including gluten free desserts (but I’d call the restaurant first to make sure, as I only saw the gluten free dessert on the Holmdel restaurant, not the Clifton one).

Other things I’ve tried in the past were the grilled octopus salad, the fresh beets, the Greek Fries (which are spiced to perfection with oregano and fresh lemon), grilled vegetables and baklava (a rich pastry with filo dough, walnuts and honey).

And let me add, this is one of the few restaurants in New Jersey that I went to more than once and ALWAYS got great service!

If you’re anti-chain restaurants, give this one a chance and you’ll definitely change your mind.

Entitlement

I’m HAPPY!

(Deal with it!)

One of my biggest complaints in life, as those who follow my blog know, is when people begrudge others for being happy.

It’s just not fair when you’re doing what you want, in life, and others have steam coming out of their noses because of it. Oh yeah, that green-eyed monster rears its ugly head.

We all know our strengths and weaknesses and my biggest strength is that I’m a good person and a great friend. Morrissey has a song called “We Hate it When Our Friends Become Successful.” Not me! I’ll be the one who cheers you on! Do you have great news? Give me a call! I’ll support you.

I’ve had people call to tell me they knew I’d be happy for them when their own family (or spouse) wouldn’t get it. People just can’t wait to share their good news with me, because I am genuine in being happy right along with them.

So, why is it wrong that I’m doing what I want?

Can’t you be happy for me too?

Sound familiar? It did to my husband when he was listening to the lyrics of “Entitlement” by Jack White.

My husband said, “You have to listen to this! Jack White wrote a song that you could have written! You can write a blog about this!”

I listened to it … and, yeah, sad but true, that’s how neglected I sometimes feel when it comes to other people. I’m so tired of people who are competitive and always trying to “one-up” me. I’m so tired of being quiet and downplaying my accomplishments around certain people because their jealousy is so apparent.

If you can’t be happy for me, like I am for YOU, you best believe I’ll be avoiding you as much as possible.

There is no shame in the fact that I’m happily married, that I love my work and never want to retire, that I live each day to the fullest, and that at 51, I am still confident, attractive and in shape.

I got all I ever wanted. And I am entitled.

The other half of it, is how many people feel “entitled” in a negative sense. Those who feel the world owes them something. Kids who want jobs, but don’t want to work … spending all the company’s time while they are on cell phones, texting.

A few days ago, I wrote about parents coddling their children as if they could do no wrong. These kids grow up believing they are always right and have hissy fits when they are corrected. I know, because as far back as seven years ago, when I was still in the work force, editors didn’t dare tell the young-uns who just got out of college their mistakes. They couldn’t handle the critique like the more seasoned writers could. You had to walk on eggshells. And this is the direction the world is heading towards: bowing down to the entitled.

Jack White’s song, clarified that.

Even in his superstar status — where he sits — he sees this new family way that we, as civilians, are enduring day-by-day.

It’s the way of the world, how some parents are giving the “tools of life” to their kids by entitlement — and not hard work.

Alcoholism … Face Book … Same Difference

Did you ever go to a party where everyone else was drinking except you? Maybe you were on a fast/diet, or maybe the designated driver … or maybe, you just don’t drink — period.

Well, it just dawned on me, it’s the same experience when everyone else is on Face Book, except you. The party just doesn’t make sense.

A few dear friends have told me, “I miss you on Face Book!” and in an endearing way, I have to admit I rolled my eyes. Why not just say, “I miss you” and leave it at that. I get it, I’m a positive person and people have always told me: “You have the best posts on Face Book!” But isn’t it even better to have a real life conversation with me, then?

Two nights ago, we received a phone call from a friend who sounded disappointed that we didn’t go to an event their child performed at.

“I thought you’d see it on Face Book?”

“I haven’t been on Face Book in several months.” And even if I was, I don’t have time to read everything! I tried to be a good friend. I tried to read everything. But then I noticed people weren’t reading “everything” I was posting either. That’s probably the only thing Face Book and real life have in common — blink and you miss something. And it’s not the end of the world. You really didn’t miss anything.

What’s really bizarre about Face Book is that once you get off, you have to deal with all the weirdness. People, right away, think, something “happened.” Yeah, something did happen — I decided not to waste my time anymore. That’s what “happened.”

Another weird Face Book thing occurred not too long ago, and I can’t say I didn’t see it coming — it was my worst Face Book nightmare come true. And I predicted it would happen, which is why I didn’t want to be on Face Book in the first place. A friend died. And it wasn’t until several months later that I found out. I was sad and upset that I missed the funeral.

“I thought you knew,” is what I was told.

Of course I didn’t know. I wasn’t on Face Book.

But even if I was … why does everyone ASSUME that every person sees everything that is posted? As much as I love my friends and mankind, it irks me to no end what a “me-me-me” world we’ve become and how Face Book intensifies it.

Can I beg anyone reading — if someone dies, please go the old fashioned route and CALL! Or even better, go to the person’s home, to make sure they are sitting down and comfortable when you share  the shocking news! Please, cruel world, can we go back to being humane?

While I was on Face Book, I took an extra hour each morning to read what my friends were up to. If I didn’t hear from someone too often, I un-friended them so I could pay more attention to those who were more in contact with me. I called that “maintenance.”

But, unfriending someone on Face Book is like taking car keys away from a drunk. I’ve had curses thrown at me, so bad they were like death threats! Oh, and those 15-inch Face Book messages when people list all your “faults.” Well, if I have that many “faults” — you should be glad I unfriended you, right?

People are just so silly. You could go a whole year without conversing with someone on Face Book, but once you “unfriend” them, the party invites stop. So do the phone calls, the luncheons and the emails. My husband — who is not on Face Book — pitied these people and said, “Unfriending someone on Face Book is like burning their house down!”

Yeah, exactly.

And don’t even get me started with business. Begin doing business with someone on Face Book and you’ll never get a phone call or regular email again. Everything is conducted via Face Book messages. Then if you need to find a phone number or address, it takes forever trying to find it. Face Book doesn’t make your business life easier by any means. So don’t buy it if someone tells you it’s for “business.” That’s just a “cover-up.” It’s like when an alcoholic keeps vodka in the cupboard “for house guests.”

I’ve gotten more work via my website and WordPress. Not to mention respect, as it seems people who prefer WordPress, Twitter and/or Linked-In behave more professionally by being supportive without going “tit-for-tat.” And I’ve never gotten a death threat for unfollowing someone on WordPress, Twitter, Good Reads, or Linked In. (Plus, it’s so cool I’m at a point in my career, that excessive marketing/promotion just isn’t necessary anymore!)

Just like going too far with your alcohol intake, going too far with Face Book is similar. Nothing good ever comes out of it. I tried to fit in by consuming, but it just wasn’t for me. Just like the old drunken cliche — I never woke up the next morning and said, “Gee, I wish I spent more time on Face Book last night.”

Years ago, when I consumed alcohol more than I should have, someone told me that there are more people in the world that don’t drink than people that do drink. I just couldn’t grasp that concept. How could people not drink? It’s the same way with people on Face Book. It’s their lifeline. When all people know is Face Book, they can’t believe others don’t want to partake.

Quite honestly, I’m sick of dealing with “drunks.” Face Book is not conducive to good business or good friendships. And by not being on there, I’ve weeded a lot of bullshit out of my life.

“Senior” Prom

 

Today I presented “Senior Prom” at NJ Eastern Star Home (http://www.njeasternstarhome.com/).

“Senior Prom” is a program I developed to share with seniors the positive benefits of companionship, whether it’s a spouse, friend or family member. And how love/friendship ties in with other ways to take care of yourself including eating healthy, exercising, positive thinking and not smoking.

I had a wonderful time at NJ Eastern Star Home. It’s always extra special when residents tell you, “I love you.” I look forward to going back!

“Senior Prom” is a one-hour presentation available for libraries, assisted living facilities, senior centers, etc. For pricing and availability, please contact Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com

For other programs, please visit my website: https://peartreeenterprises.wordpress.com/

 

I Drove Over the Pulaski Skyway by Myself!

The Pulaski Skyway (photo swiped from Weird NJ.com)

I guess driving over the Pulaski Skyway is no big deal to those who do it everyday. And I thought to myself, Am I a big baby sharing that my hands were sweating so bad that my steering wheel was drenched with my sweat as I prayed aloud, Dear God, get me home in one piece!? And that just reliving the memory is making my hands tremble?

Not according to this article I found, where the headline says “Nerves of Steel Needed: Take a Ride on the Pulaski Skyway” (and also offers a very in-depth history of the amazing skyway) http://fierceandnerdy.com/nerves-of-steel-needed-take-a-ride-on-the-pulaski-skyway-kicking-back-with-jersey-joe

Two years ago when I began speaking publicly, I only booked myself in towns I was familiar with — which meant driving wouldn’t be a big deal. For the most part, I do enjoy driving, but in New Jersey, it can be complicated. In some areas you have to switch lanes quickly to get off an exit, which can be either on the left or right of the highway. And with many drivers going at least 20 miles over speed limit, it’s nerve wrecking to say the least. Not to mention that in certain areas (like those white bread and butter soccer mom driving SUV areas) people ride your ass (tailgate) because they are in such a hurry to get nowhere.

But when you pick and chose in life, you limit yourself and miss out on great experiences. Three years ago a client sent me to Chicago for a marketing seminar. I went kicking and screaming. Happily married, I never spent a night away from my husband. And I’ve flown alone many times, but this particular trip was trying — to say the least. Both ways I was stuck in an airport for many hours due to flight delays. And the turbulence was horrifying. I was holding on to my stuffed kitty for dear life. I wished I had my real kitty with me! However, once I was in Chicago, I had a fabulous time, learned a few marketing tricks, made some great connections and enjoyed myself in a five-star hotel that had the best eggs I had in my life (and the best service!)

For many years, when I worked as a journalist and freelance proofreader I commuted to New York City. It was nothing, traveling back and forth on the train and walking in areas that weren’t particularly safe. I was fearless. I always heard stories from co-workers getting mugged, but it never changed my mind about where I loved to work and play. And, God, I was so lucky that nothing bad ever happened to me (though I was robbed, twice, when people broke into a friend’s car, twice, and stole my belongings).

I was also fearless the time I jumped off a 100-foot bridge into a body of water. It felt like I was flying. Then I hit the water — smack — it took me under so deep I wondered if I was ever going to come up for air again. And then, once I got to the top, finally, I had to fight a current to get back onshore.

All of this may seem like nothing compared to those who are true daredevils like Evel Kenievel. Or, like I said earlier, people who ride the Pulaski Skyway regularly. But there are people who live in fear, afraid to go too far from their homes. These same people won’t take chances in their lives. There are also those who stick like glue to their cliques and comfort zones. They are afraid to associate with anyone who may challenge their intelligence. Being around someone different is a threat to them. I hate to sound belittling, as that’s not my point, but I do pity those people, as I pity myself when I notice I am slipping into the “fear zone.” It’s just not a productive place to be.

In order to grow as a person, no matter what age you are at, you have to take chances. I’m not saying throw all caution to the wind and do stupid things, but simply: try getting out of your comfort zone — you may like it! There’s no harm in trying new things that are second nature to most people.

I highly doubt I’ll drive over the Pulaski Skyway by myself again, but after doing that, driving in white bread and butter towns with SUVs riding my ass doesn’t seem so bad after all! And, hell, scared as I was, driving over the Pulaski Skyway wasn’t nearly as terrifying as the days I worked in an office full of gossipy, catty women with piercing screechy voices.

It’s all about perception.

The Liberating Power Of Letting Go

Positive Outlooks

Some people will teach you about your own strength by always trying to make you feel inadequate and weak. Inadvertently, you will also learn the liberating power of letting go. — Dodinsky

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