A few years ago I ended a friendship with a girl I couldn’t see eye-to-eye with on the issue of trust. She called the end of our friendship a “falling out” and in a classless manner trashed me openly on the internet (on another friend’s Face Book page).
That was not a cool thing to do, or an honest one on her part. What happened was not a “falling out” as I was open to someday becoming friends again — if she grew up.
Hear me out …
This girl was with a guy over 20 years, yet still had trust issues with him.
As her friend, I couldn’t handle that. Any normal person would want what is best for their friends, so they can learn, grow and be happy.
Plus, if a girl has trust issues with her own partner, how could I expect us to grow as friends? I couldn’t. I’ve had distrustful girlfriends in the past so I know firsthand, if they are questioning and accusing their partners, next thing you know they’ll be questioning and accusing YOU! And by me questioning the lack of trust in her relationship, it had her running from our friendship. There was no “let’s talk.”The friendship was over, just like that. Even after I wrote her a beautiful email trying to reason with her. No. She didn’t trust her lover. She didn’t trust me. She will be a friend to no one because she’s afraid to open her heart. She, like anyone who is in a distrustful “relationship” is just lying to him/herself. A distrustful relationship is not a relationship at all. It’s just a waste of time … and in her case, a waste of life.
Trust is the greatest gift my husband ever gave me.
Trust is the most beautiful thing in the world. To know that someone is your baby and that they will never hurt you, and they know you will never hurt them either, it’s such a precious thing that we should all aspire to.
Trust is such a relief. To be in a relationship without constantly having to prove your love, just safely knowing it’s there is a miracle from God … a big one.
I remember, before I met my husband, some of the crazy distrusting men I dated. It’s the most awful feeling to be accused of something you haven’t done. To have someone throw out your CDs because he’s jealous of the lead singer. To have someone reprimand you for casually looking at your watch, thinking you have another date to go on. To have someone behave as if he owns you.
I could cry thinking back to all the hurt I went through as a single woman. The best thing about my past, though, is when there was distrust, I got out pretty quick. Because nothing says “I don’t really care about you” more than distrust. Distrust is ugly. It means jealousy, insecurity, heartaches and bad times. None of that is a foundation for a good relationship. Distrust doesn’t mean someone cares, it means they are co-dependent. They are using you, not loving you.
When you’re in an unhappy relationship, you’re constantly thinking of that unhappy relationship … is he/she gonna call? Am I doing the right thing? Will he/she get mad if I do this or that?
But when you’re in a genuine, loving relationship, you don’t have to think about much at all. You just enjoy it!
That is why, when seeking true love, TRUST should be above all else.
TRUST = SOUL MATE.
TRUST = TRUE LOVE.
TRUST = MAGIC.
I wish everyone a beautiful, trusting relationship. Because it’s out there waiting for you.