Happy National Cat Day!

Derick and Sparky

Happy National Cat Day!

For the record, I love all animals, which is why I started my non-profit organization, ROAR (Respect Our Animals’ Rights) — you can “like” us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/respectouranimalsrights/?ref=bookmarks

But let’s be honest, cats have that extra something special. Most people think that cats are independent, but get to know a cat — I mean REALLY know a cat — and you’ll learn it’s just the opposite.

I’ve owned two cats in my life, Billy and Derick. Billy Cat died in 2013 at the age of 19. He was the biggest snuggle bunny you’d ever want to meet. Derick is now 19 and he can’t get enough attention, especially when company comes. He’s a very diplomatic cat who will go from one lap to the next and then cry when company leaves.

They are smart as whips and grow with you as the years go on. Which is why I just had to include a cat theme for my second book “Love Cats” (available on Amazon in Kindle and paperback versions: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1681020513).

I wrote “Love Cats” after Billy Cat died. I was going through such a hard time, writing a book with a cat theme helped tremendously.

“Love Cats” is a book about a rich, selfish, 20-something girl named Janey Peyton. It’s not cars and money this rich bitch wants, it’s love. And she goes about it all the wrong way, via sex, using people (and being used). She also hates cats. (Can you imagine?!)

But it’s two cats, Morticia and Pumpkin, who bring sweetness to Janey’s crass story. ❤ (And my Derick got to model with me for my author photo!)

Tarrytown and Sleepy Hollow, New York

Horse Feathers restaurant

The last time my husband and I were in Tarrytown, New York, was October, 2011, just a month before our wedding day, November 9, 2011. In fact, it was a cute little boutique where I got my wedding dress!

Tarrytown is one of our favorite places, especially in October, because it’s so beautiful! We always make a double trip to see Tarrytown and Sleepy Hollow. And it was so cool going back, now as a married couple! ❤

Our first stop is always to grab a lunch at Horsefeathers: http://www.horsefeathersny.com/

Following lunch I was thrilled to find Trilogy Consignment on the other side of the street: http://www.consigntrilogy.com/

I found a few cool pieces in there, but what really impressed me was the positive body image messages taped on the walls of the dressing room. That great vibe will definitely have me shopping there again during our next visit.

Next stop was the incredible Dutch Cemetery, where we saw the Headless Horseman!

Headless Horseman

View of Headless Horseman from inside church window

Headless Horseman

Such a beautiful horse

We found a cozy spot in the cemetery to sip on mead wine and pumpkin ale and enjoying the gorgeous weather. Then we went into town for some more shopping.

Me in my funky, snuggly new hat!

We caught the full moon!

Heading home over the Tappan Zee Bridge

Twilight at Tappan Zee

And that concludes another beautiful day!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is the author of “Love Cats” available in Kindle and print on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1681020513

Raise-a-Girl Non-Profit Organization

Left, founder Mildred Volcy and Maryanne Mistretta

It was such an honor to volunteer as a speaker with the non-profit organization Raise-a-Girl, founded by Mildrene Volcy, and empower young girls!

Maryanne Mistretta

For more information on Raise A Girl, visit: https://twitter.com/RaiseAGirl

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is an author and public speaker. Her book “On the Guest List: Adventures of a Music Journalist” has a strong anti-bullying message (though recommended reading with parental guidance). “On the Guest List” is available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/162903908X

To book Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta for a speaking engagement, contact her at: MaryanneChristiano@Gmail.com

I Don’t Wear Yoga Pants

Ages ago, it was really cool to be spiritual … when no one else was.

I secretly studied the works of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky with a mentor. The catch metaphysics phrase of the 1980s was “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” And sure enough, at the age of 24, I met a man twice my age (though so wise he seemed even three times my age). We studied together intensely for eight months. During this time I stopped drinking, stopped clubbing, didn’t watch television and read over 100 books about various sources of spirituality including: Teachings of the Far East, Finding of the Third Eye, The Aquarian Christ, and Beelzebub’s Tales to His Grandson.

Back then this knowledge was sacred. I covered my books in brown paper bags so no one would know what I was reading. I entered a journey beyond this world. It was a true blessing.

Then a few years later, I found Jesus Christ and became a Christian. Even knowing all this esoteric knowledge, I felt the strongest connection to Jesus. Nevertheless, unlike the stereotype Christian, I still drew from my knowledge of other cultures and religions and the really deep stuff like Gurdjieff. In 1989 I coined the phrase “spirit whore” meaning I was all over the place spiritually. I liked that a lot. Being non-committing and feeling safe in any place of worship.

Fast forward to the modern world. It’s no longer the 1980s and thanks to Oprah, the sacredness of spirituality has been brought to the masses. That would be fine, as it is the Age of Aquarius and people should know this stuff. HOWEVER … it’s a shame that Jesus Christ isn’t acknowledged in the mix. It’s cool to be anything but a Christian. So this is what these modern day new-agers use as a way to one-up: “I’m so worldly, I’m so spiritual, I’m better than you because you’re JUST A CHRISTIAN.”

It’s become a sad hip phrase for middle-aged women to make it KNOWN: “I’m spiritual, not religious.” It’s an ugly mantra I’ve been enduring for the past several years — said more and more frequently.

The “I’m spiritual, not religious” sing song haunts me as I try to sleep at night, so much so that I swear it must be a chant to bring satan out of hiding. It’s like chalk on a blackboard, just a pathetic way of saying, “I’m better than you.” URGH, how it makes me cringe! So much so that I’ve come up with the snarky phrase that I’m sharing all over social media:

“Spiritual not religious” gives middle-aged hipster women something else to do

… besides Whole Foods and Botox.

When something that was once beautiful has become so blown out of proportion that people are using it as a way to seem hip and condescending — I’m sorry, it’s not spiritual.

Perhaps these “spiritual” criers should seek out religion, if not for anything else, for balance.

They are too ignorant to realize that they are behaving the same as the holier than thou super-saved Christians who believe in a monstrous god who damns everyone to hell.

I don’t wear yoga pants

But they are worse. They are disguised in designer clothing, yoga pants, botox, and hair straighteners. A new vision of wolves in sheep’s clothing. Modern new-agers are just as judgmental as super-saved Christians. And that ain’t nothing special.

 

Don’t Ever Friend a “Fan”

Fan murdered superstar Selena

A year ago when I published my first book “On the Guest List: Adventures of a Music Journalist” (available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/162903908X) it was suggested by an author friend that I start a Facebook page. Over the years I’ve had so many problems on Facebook, I didn’t like the idea. However, I started it up once again because it did help sell a lot of books. Then once I started doing book signings, “strangers” started coming to my events and “friending” me on Facebook. I had a very hard time using the word “fans.” It sounded so … so … so old and weird, like I was Gloria Swanson in “Sunset Boulevard” and the “little people” were peons buying my product.

Weirded out by “fan” I started calling those who brought my book, my “beloved readers.” It sounded more endearing than “fans.” But deep down, I wanted my readers to really be friends. They were buying my books and I felt I owed them my life. Dumb move. Making friends with fans is the biggest mistake any author, artist, actor, or musician can ever do. Fans are not friends.

Take the extreme case of Selena Quintanilla-Pérez, singer, songwriter, fashion designer who was murdered by a crazed fan. Her family told Selena she was too trusting. And her murderer confessed she killed Selena because she was jealous.

I too, was told all my life that I was too trusting. I’m friendly and personable and make friends very easily. Only to get stabbed in the back over and over again. I’m honest. I’m sweet. And I’m vulnerable. Twice in this past week I was told I was “too nice.”

I said to my husband, “I need to harden up.”

He said, “No, being sweet is what makes you special. You just have to remember, these people are not your friends.”

I’ve learned (the hard way) there’s a place for fans — in the audience. Do not exchange phone numbers. Do not friend them on Facebook. Do not let them take you out to dinner. Do not meet them for lunch. If they give you a gift, kindly accept it.

Learn how to be a respected author because you paid your dues in getting there. There is no shame in calling someone a “fan.” You earned the right to say that. You don’t always have to be so humble. Humble means people will take advantage.

As much as we’d like to believe everyone is equal, we are not.

Let’s be real. We’re not in the same league as Oscar winners and rock stars. And on that same note, our fans are not in our league either. Even if we’re just doing book signings in libraries in front of a small audience and getting royalty checks every few months, it’s a helluva lot more than most people are doing and that will provoke jealousy (the root of all evil).

People can be very nice to your face and stab you in the back. They might be excited and honored to be your friend at first. They may introduce you as their “author friend.” They may put great reviews of your product on Amazon. They may come to your events and tell you how beautiful you are. This doesn’t make them a “friend.” It’s like the old saying, “Easy come, easy go.” When people put you up on a pedestal, they’ll be the first to knock you down when they find out you’re human.

Or as the ego always dictates, they’ll knock you down when they find out you disagree with them politically, or spiritually, or even if you eat meat and they don’t.

We live in a crazy ego-driven world; people are control freaks and users. People only love you when it’s working to their advantage. Everyone loved the All American Ricky Nelson until he grew his hair long. That is what his song “Garden Party” is about — not pleasing others. Others don’t want you to have an  opinion of your own. If it doesn’t match theirs, you’ll have hell to pay.

I won’t get into the ugly side of being an author because some fans are so vain they’ll probably think this blog is about them. So let’s just say nasty people are good at it because that’s where their heart is — in a nasty place. If only that energy was directed into doing something creative, they’d be the ones signing autographs too. But they’re not … so the smoke starts coming out of the noses and the eyes turn green with envy.

This is why my husband advises, “Stick with your peers.” Those peers are my true friends who I can fight and disagree with, but who will never, ever really hurt me. Those peers are also the super cool acquaintances I’ve made in the creative world — the deejays who will have me on their radio shows or simply give me a shout out; my fellow authors who will surprise me with an email; the celebrities I’ve interviewed who on rare occasions drop me a line — even years after I’ve interviewed them; the librarians who book my programs; and anyone I work with in the art/music/publishing media world. That’s why I love my career so much, it’s about being with your friends and doing a little bit of work — an easy, breezy, enviable life.

So, to any new authors reading, I say, appreciate who you are and be real about it. Don’t humble yourself so much like I did that you put yourself in a vulnerable spot, set up for abuse. (Note: This is why famous celebrities on Facebook and Twitter DO NOT interact with their fans).

Have a little pride in yourself and realize that it’s OKAY to have fans and enjoy the fact that you do. Just keep them at bay. This way when you inadvertently piss them off, the worst thing they can do to you is write you a bad review. And at worst, bad reviews are pretty funny. At best, they are bad-ass because it means people are reading — and that’s just what a writer wants!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta’s second book “Love Cats” is available on Amazon in paperback and kindle formats (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1681020513). Her former fans loved it!

“Newsies: History of the Newspaper Industry” at Denville Library

Maryanne Mistretta presents “Newsies: History of the Newspaper Industry”

Maryanne Mistretta and librarian, Ilene Lefkowitz

Thanks so much to the Denville Library (http://www.denvillelibrary.org) for hosting my program “Newsies: History of the Newspaper Industry” on October 20, 2015.

“Newsies: History of the Newspaper Industry” takes the audience back to 59 B.C. when the first newspaper was published in ancient Rome.

Since the history of newspapers is so vast, “Newsies” focuses on U.S. newspapers. The audience learned how the quality of newspaper reporting was perfected after the American Revolution and the Battle of Lexington; the Penny Press; “yellow” journalism, chains and syndicates, and how competition such as radio, television and internet caused a decline in the newspaper industry.

What makes this lecture so much fun is that there is audience interaction. Listeners join in and share their experiences with newspapers. For example: “What was your introduction to reading the newspaper?” and “Where you ever in the newspaper?”

Maryanne worked in the newspaper industry herself as a journalist during most of her adult life. She wrote for New York papers: The Westsider and the Chelsea Clinton News (which is named after an area of NYC, not the former president’s daughter).

Maryanne was also a journalist at The Montclair Times for seven years. After she left The Times, she went on to write for several online publications including The Paterson Press, where her feature articles also appeared in The Herald News.

She also wrote for The Aquarian Arts weekly, a newspaper that is in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

To book this program for your library or senior group, contact Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta at: MaryanneChristiano@gmail.com

 

Thank You Fanwood Library!

Maryanne Mistretta and Nancy Kipling

A shout out to the Fanwood Library, Fanwood, New Jersey (http://www.fanwoodlibrary.org/) for having me as a guest last night to promote my first book, “On the Guest List: Adventures of a Music Journalist” (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/162903908X).

Check out my new book, “Love Cats” on Amazon! http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1681020513

Tonight I’ll be at the Denville Public Library, Denville, New Jersey, giving the presentation: “Newsies: History of the Newspaper Industry.” It’s already a full-house, so please call if you plan on attending.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is available to present “Newsies” for libraries, rotary clubs, senior groups, etc. Email for rates and availability: MaryanneChristiano@gmail.com

Book Signing at Fanwood Library, Fanwood, NJ

Book Signing at Fanwood Library, Fanwood, New Jersey

I look forward to another book signing. This will be my first time at the Fanwood Library, reading from “On the Guest List: Adventures of a Music Journalist” (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/162903908X).

I’ll also be selling copies of my second book “Love Cats” (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1681020513).

Frames and Framers, Millburn, New Jersey

Frames and Framers

Inside Frames and Framers

In this day and age of Instagram and Facebook photos, people are missing the big picture.

Because of instant visual gratification people are getting into the habit of not preserving their memories. In the same vein of not being able to hold a vinyl record album in your hand and looking at the artwork, people are relying on electronic gadgetry. That said, another art form is being lost — having a perfect frame made for your artwork or photograph.

Frames are an old world craft which highlight and amplify personal art and photographs. Step into any museum and you’ll see what I mean. Yes, there are frame-less art displays, but that’s just an option, not the norm.

Frames can add so much to a photograph: elegance, funkiness, cool, classy, old-fashioned or modern. The art doesn’t just end with a photograph. This is why, when you walk past a frame store and see the displays in the window, you see a personal designer enhancing a piece of work, like an interior decorator does to a room.

One look at the blow-out window display at Frames and Framers (http://www.framesandframersnj.com/) in Millburn, New Jersey, and your imagination will run wild with framing possibilities!

Let’s not see another art form go by the wayside because of technology. Support your local custom frame shops!

Favorite Healthy Eats in Ocean City, New Jersey

Photo by Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta

My husband and I treated ourselves to a beautiful three-day stay in Ocean City, New Jersey. We scored a penthouse suite overlooking the ocean with a heated pool and a jacuzzi in the room (we absolutely adored the place, but I’m not saying where we stayed because we love our privacy and do plan to go back — very soon!)

So, while being vague about our actual vacation, I will give a shout out to some places that had great eats!

Crab Trap: https://www.thecrabtrap.com/

The Crab Trap, after a 45-minute wait for a table, was a very good time. They had live entertainment and excellent service. Standouts include the crackers and horseradish on the table (very addicting!) and the clams on a half shell.

Yoasis: http://yogurt-oasis.com/

Right on the boardwalk! The signature Original Acai bowl was to die for: pure acaí, banana, almond milk blend, topped with granola, sliced banana, and honey. This is so delicious, after the first one I went back three hours later for another — and added spirulina the second time. I’m only home one day and I am missing this already! (And again excellent service!)

Rojos Tacos: http://www.octacos.com/

Wanting something simple and healthy, I opted for a large serving of guacamole. Theirs was fabulous. It was made with cilantro. Another place with excellent service!

Bashful Banana: http://www.bashfulbananacafe.com/

Also on the boardwalk. I love this place because I was able to get lunch for breakfast! I had a veggie burger with hummus, salad and fresh fruit; and a kale/carrot/celery juice. Delicious, fresh food and more great service! We ate outside, but when I went inside, it was super cool to hear The Archies playing “Sugar Sugar.”

And I have to give a shout out to Pamela’s (health food) in Margate: http://www.pamelashealth.com/

Pamela is a doll! I just stopped in for some zinc because I was a little under the weather. We ended up talking about cats for about 10 minutes! So I must say, they have some organic cat food I wasn’t able to find anywhere else. And you just can’t take a vacation without bringing a treat home to the little guy! ❤