As a happily married woman, I hate to shun single people, but when it comes to guy friends, I have to be honest, I prefer the company of happily married ones (or happily committed ones).
For one, happily married/committed men are more interesting. They are inspiring because they always talk lovingly about their wives. You can joke around with them about anything and know they’ll never hit on you. You’ll talk about a variety of topics such as music, films, animals, food, politics, etc. and never get bored. Plus, they’ll love to hear about your husband too! I kid you not, happily married/committed men are rarely threatened by other males. They’ll always be like, “Tell your husband I said ‘Hi!'”
While my single female friends are a lot of fun to be around, my single male friends … well, I’m really starting to dread my lunch dates with them. You sit down and it’s only a matter of seconds before they start whipping out the phone and showing photos of their latest “hope to conquests” they found on Facebook or Match Dot Com.
Hey guys, why does me saying, “Oh, she’s pretty!” (because I have nothing else to go on) validate you? How about waiting until you are in a REAL relationship (a healthy one that lasts more than a month) and THEN tell me that her beautiful looks match her beautiful soul? Then we can all double date and have good conversations; not cringe-worthy ones that stroke your ego and take up 90 percent of the lunch date (without me getting in one sentence edgewise about how much I absolutely adore my incredible husband!)
It is only fair that I can talk about my great husband too, right? But my happiness doesn’t seem of interest to you. You just want a sounding board for your potential conquests, which makes me feel bad because that tells me our friendship isn’t important as it once was, otherwise you’d be a bit more enthusiastic to hear about my life and what I’ve been up too. Plus, deep down I know that once you do fall in love with someone, if she’s a jealous type and/or doesn’t approve of me, we just might not be friends anymore.
But what’s worse of all is that those cool, intelligent, interesting, funny male friends I’ve known since my teens, 20s and 30s, have turned into in-a-hurry-to-have-a-relationship tail chasers once they hit their 40s and 50s. What a shame, because this isn’t the type of single guy I’d introduce to a single girl friend. So, on second thought, let’s cancel our lunch date.
Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is the author of “Love Cats” available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1681020513