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All posts for the month February, 2019

Silk18 Shampoo For Men And Women

Published February 28, 2019 by Maryanne

Silk18_SH_10oz_front

Whenever Maple Holistics comes out with a new product, I’m totally jazzed!

First, I’m always on the look out for cruelty free products. I’ve been cruelty free since the mid-1990s. That said, it’s hard to find a cruelty free product that’s actually good. But with Maple Holistics, you can never go wrong.

I’ve used their products in the past, so I’ve been a fan for some time: https://maryannemistretta.wordpress.com/2017/11/04/maple-holistics-tea-tree-shampoo/

The new Silk18 shampoo is my latest product addiction. It really does make your hair silky soft. And the scent is absolutely lovely. It makes my hair smell like a delicious vanilla vegan cookie! It doesn’t leave a filmy residue.

And while it doesn’t say “hypoallergenic,” it seems like it is. In the past I’ve had issues using other all natural, cruelty free brands; so I’m limited in what products I can use. But Maple Holistics is a brand I can trust and count on. It’s paraben and sulfate free!

For more information on their new product, go here: https://www.mapleholistics.com/products/hair-care/silk18-shampoo/

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is an award winning journalist and health advocate. Her articles on health have appeared in numerous newspapers and magazines. She’s also available for speaking engagements on the following plant-based lectures: “Here’s To Your Health,” “Healthy Pasta Alternatives” and “Eat Well for the Holidays.” Contact Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta at: MaryanneChristiano@gmail.com 

Keep Fighting!

Published February 27, 2019 by Maryanne

Don't Give Up

Sometimes it’s best for a smart person to “ignore.” But I have to beg to differ in some circumstances. Rosa Parks didn’t change the world by ignoring. Enough said.

If you feel strongly about something, speak up! Whether it’s in love, friendship, business, or a random situation.

Being diplomatic can sometimes serve a purpose, but it’s not the best way to go. Be a friend to everyone means you’re a friend to no one. Think about that.

I don’t do diplomatic. I don’t do shoving things under a rug. And while I can ignore some internet trolling, I won’t ignore all of it.

The best people in the world are fighters. That’s when you see who your real friends are. To fight is to straighten a bond. We can never honestly love each other unless we know what makes each other mad. We can learn how to be better people by talking things out. Now, I’m not talking about name calling or purposely hurting people. By “fight” I mean to put it all out there with all heart and soul!

I’m always the first to call someone on their bullshit. If I point out to someone that what they are doing/saying isn’t call and they get all defensive and say stupid phrases like, “I don’t want to be your friend because I don’t want to walk on eggshells.” That is DUMB!

People who don’t want to “walk on eggshells” are wimps because what they are saying is, “I don’t want to make an effort to know you better. I don’t want to learn to be a better person. You’re not worth it.” So they are definitely not someone you should be friends with! Kind people are sensitive, caring, and people who try to elevate themselves. Not everyone has the same sense of humor. If you say something stupid, don’t cover up by saying, “I was only joking.” If someone doesn’t get the joke, maybe you should re-evaluate your sense of humor.

All that said, I said it once, I’ll say it 1000 times, IT’S OKAY TO FIGHT!

My Grandmother was my favorite person in the world — and boy, did we fight! But we also forgave and made up. THAT is how you have a loving relationship. No holding back. No lies. And getting shit off your chest! 

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is the author of the memoir “I Don’t Want to Be Like You” which is about her experiences growing up being bullied. She now is putting adult bullies in their places and available for public speaking engagements! Contact her for availability and rates at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com 

Links to the book are here: 

HGBM Store:  https://highergroundbooksandmedia.com/product/i-dont-want-to-be-like-you

Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1536446696&sr=8-2&keywords=maryanne+christiano+mistretta

Kindle:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07H6H4CY1/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1536446756&sr=8-1&keywords=maryanne+christiano+mistretta+kindle 

Her next book, “Be (Extra) Ordinary: Ten Ways to Be Your Own Hero” will be out October 2019. Pre-order your copy today! https://kicamprojects.com/shop/be-extraordinary/

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

It’s True, Some Gay Men Are Misogynist

Published February 25, 2019 by Maryanne

gay men hating women

I don’t remember my very first experience with a gay man, but in my younger day I do remember getting along great with gay men. So much so that one wanted to kiss me because he thought “women are beautiful.” He was so cute, he reminded me of Peter Burns before he got all the plastic surgery. We kissed and talked until the sun came up.

Because of him, I considered myself a supporter of the gay community. Plus the fact that one of my favorite entertainers, Freddie Mercury is gay. Living so close to NYC, I’ve known so many gay men in passing; some transvestites too. They were great and so much fun.

As I got older, I supported the gay community by attending Pride Parades in NYC, going to Wigstock, shedding a million big tears for transgender teens Matthew Shepherd and Brandon Teena, hanging out in gay bars, going to gay rights rallies, and being one of the first reporters to write about gay marriages.

The first time I ever heard anything negative from a gay man was when I worked with at a newsroom in NYC. He said loud enough for everyone in the office to hear, “I’m not attracted to women!”

Another man who was straight and misogynist laughed.

I found no humor in it. It wasn’t what the gay man said, but how he said it. He spoke his words harshly, as a put down to women.

I’ve also heard a gay man say the stereotypical line, “Vaginas are ugly.”

And another call a woman a “slut.”

If I dig deep enough into my brain, I’m sure I’d remember much more.

A few years ago I was getting my hair cut in a salon, by a woman, and a gay man (who also worked there as a stylist) was on an anti-woman rant. It was so pathetic and ignorant, I stopped going to the salon, even though the woman gave me a great cut.

Several months ago, I found myself in a situation where I had to work creatively with a gay man. This one had a reputation for being nasty to women. He belittles women and throws the F-bomb at them when he gets pissed. Over nothing of importance I might add, so I can’t imagine what he’d do in a real crisis!. He runs hot and cold which scared me because he was like a ticking time bomb; a real loose cannon. All the makings of a bully. Towards women only.

When I told my husband that this man used the F word towards me, my husband wanted to go talk to the gay man personally. “No one talks to my wife that way,” my super cool husband said in my defense.

The thing is, some gay men DO talk to straight woman that way. Just like some straight men are misogynist, some gay men are misogynist, especially if a woman isn’t up to his high standards. I mean, if you’re of a diva status like Cher, you’re in. But even if the gay man isn’t that attractive himself, he’ll stoop to the lowest level and trash on a woman he feels is “unattractive.”

Some gay men are both misogynist and ageist. I used to work in an editorial department with a gay man (who was in the closet). He harassed me on a regular basis. I asked a male co-worker, “What did I ever do to him?”

He said, “You turned 40.” (Funny thing, I looked him up on Facebook recently, and he looks older than I do–and I’m now 55 and he’s probably like 30-something! Heh. Karma’s an evil bitch, right?)

They thing is, women shouldn’t feel like they should be silenced because they fear they will piss off the gay community by speaking up. In all walks of life, there are assholes. And assholes should be called out for what they are — assholes. There are straight misogynist assholes. There are gay misogynist assholes. That is the truth. What is the demographic? I don’t know, but it’s certainly more than people want to admit because they are afraid if they speak out against the gay community they will be viewed as homophobic.

But ladies, please don’t be afraid. You know, in your heart you are NOT homophobic. So don’t let people pull that card on you for telling your truth. Just share eloquently as I am sharing, and the smart ones will understand. As for others who want to spew hate on your behalf and twist things around, you don’t need them anyway!

I’ll always view misogyny as vile no matter who is the one with the misogynist views — a straight man or a gay man. But if a misogynist crosses my path, I will NOT be silenced!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is the author of the memoir “I Don’t Want to Be Like You” which is about her experiences growing up being bullied. She now is putting adult bullies in their places and available for public speaking engagements! Links to the book are here: 

HGBM Store:  https://highergroundbooksandmedia.com/product/i-dont-want-to-be-like-you

Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1536446696&sr=8-2&keywords=maryanne+christiano+mistretta

Kindle:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07H6H4CY1/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1536446756&sr=8-1&keywords=maryanne+christiano+mistretta+kindle 

Her next book, “Be (Extra) Ordinary: Ten Ways to Be Your Own Hero” will be out October 2019. Pre-order your copy today! https://kicamprojects.com/shop/be-extraordinary/

 

Rest in Peace, Dear Bennie Cat

Published February 15, 2019 by Maryanne

BennieBennie Grover Hemmingway

Earlier today we had to put down our sweet Bennie cat.

He was a feral who started showing up at our doorstep last August. My husband and I fed him. He was enticed by the food, but more so, the pets we’d give him. It seemed he was more starved for love than for food! He’d take a few bites, but then put his head up to be pet. Of course we fell in love.

One day he wasn’t around. I called, “Bennie!” He knew his name and ran through the grass like a gazelle! He had such a personality.

Before we took him in, we got him checked out by a vet and learned he had FIV, a feline auto-immune disorder. We wanted him anyway. We knew with FIV, he’d come with health problems, but we didn’t realize it would be so soon. He was only 3-years-old.

When he was officially inside, he loved it! He did this cute thing we called “Happy Paws.” He’d purr very loud and wiggle his paws. Sometimes he’d lie on his back with his happy paws up in the air. And he was so cute when he cocked his head to the side, like a puppy would do!

Bennie was a lazy cat. He loved to lay around and be pet constantly. He really liked butt rubs. And he loved music. I’m not a singer, but I’d sing to him and he’d stand up and look right at me, as if he was giving me a standing ovation! Even if I had a punk rock band, like The Dickies on the CD player, he’d sit right in front of the speaker and listen.

We only had him five months. He had brain cancer. And he was a little fighter too. He was determined to make a go of it, but unfortunately worse came to worse and the sad day had come. I collapsed in my husband’s arms. We were both devastated.

Our vet said Bennie knew he was sick and he came to us to give him a good home  before he passed. I know we did! And I’ll miss those purrs and that beautiful face.

Godspeed Bennie.

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” –Anatole France

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