10 Common Foods That Smell Worse Than Durian

Almighty Durian — The King of All Fruit! 

I’ve been a serious durian eater for almost 20 years. I first heard of durian when I was a raw foodist back in the day. I learned that the durian has more vitamins than any other fruit. And that it was absolutely delicious, but had a strange smell.

The first time I tried it, it was durian “ice cream” at a raw food restaurant in NYC. Since it was frozen, it had no smell. I even asked my guest, “Does it smell?” No, it didn’t. A short time after that, I got a real durian, in China Town. That’s when I realized it did have a bit of an odd smell, but it didn’t stop me from waiting for the fruit to defrost and dig in!

Durian is the most delicious thing you can imagine! It has the consistency of custard, and tastes like a cross between hazelnut, vanilla, banana, with a tinge of onion. Weird, but it works! Durian is absolutely addicting. Because of the vitamin content, you’ll be high for hours after eating one (or some of it, as there is truly a lot of fruit pudding in each pod!)

After I first broke my durian cherry, I was so hooked I was hoofing it to China Town once a week, carrying three with me on the bus home. Yes, it’s true, I had a three-per-week durian habit. Friends said I was like a crack addict when it came to durians. I loved them so much, I had one tattooed on my inner calf. And to this day, only one stranger approached me and asked, “Is that a durian?” No one else knows what it is. But it works when I’m in an Asian market, because the workers do not understand what I want until I show them my tattoo. Then they laugh and direct me to the fish area where everything is on ice.

It’s rare to meet a fellow durian lover. I’ve tried recruiting people, but the best comment I’ve heard was from my mother, “I like it, but I don’t love it.” People are mainly turned off by the smell. The durian has been compared to paint cleaner, a gas leak, and even garbage. Yeah, it’s true. Sometimes I’ll pass garbage in NYC and start dreaming about durian.

Okay, I get it, I won’t eat durian around anyone. But why do people get so bent out of shape with the mere mention of a durian? First thing out of their mouths, “It smells.” How original! (Note sarcasm!)

So, since people are so quick to judge my durian, let me put it out there that there are foods that stink worse–and YOU eat them! Yes, it’s true, and here they are in no particular order….

1. Cold Cuts (aka lunch meat). There’s not much that makes me gag more than lunch meat. It has a nasty stench that makes you think it was slivered off the animal right then and there. This is what I’d imagine a dead person to smell like before embalming.
2. Cheese. If it’s so accepted for stinky cheese to be good, then lay off my durians!
3. Chinese Food. Don’t get me wrong, I love Chinese food–the dishes that are more on the plain side, like brown rice, moo shu, or vegetable lo mein. But what is that horrific sauce that is orange? The smell is so strong it knocks me over.
4. Vinegar. First of all, I LOVE vinegar. When it’s on a salad, you barely notice that it stinks. But when people use it in their hair, or if a bottle breaks — hold your nose! Vinegar smells like dirty feet.
5. Hot Dogs. If you think hot dogs smell good, you are thinking of the onions and sauerkraut toppings. A regular hot dog boiling is similar to what I described above for cold cuts. Blech!
6. Tomato Juice. I was once seated at a lecture next to a woman who was drinking tomato juice. Now that was an unforgettable foul smell.
7. Fish. This is one 90 percent will agree with.
8. Alcohol. This is why I don’t like to dine out. If there’s a bar, you can smell stale alcohol and it ruins your appetite. It’s as if it’s stuck in the wood; even in the fanciest of restaurants, that diseased smell exists.
9. Coffee with milk and sugar that is sitting around. Don’t get me wrong on this one, fresh-brewed hot, black, coffee is one of the greatest smells. But, cold coffee with milk and sugar, just hanging around for over an hour, has a smell that can make you gag.
10. Cigarettes. Okay, this isn’t a food, but the way some people are addicted, it might as well be one of the food groups to them. And they are the worst stench of all! There is nothing sexy about cigarettes. When I see someone in the street smoking, I will cross the street just to avoid them. If I’m exposed to your cigarette smoke, I should be allowed to kill you. (That’s a joke).

What foods do you find most offensive? Share in the comment section below!  

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, ghost writing, writing. She is also available for book signings and motivational speaking engagements. She is the author of the following books :

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit: https://www.amazon.com/Be-Extra-Ordinary-Ways-Become/dp/1733546227

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261

“The Gypsy Smiled” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Gypsy-Smiled-Maryanne-Christiano-Mistretta-ebook/dp/B074VC7MT9

Love Cats Second Printing Cover Reveal!

My second book “Love Cats” was originally printed in 2015. Earlier this year it went to “Out of Print” status. Yet you can still read the great reviews on Amazon

Once the book went out of print, I submitted it to several other publishers and it got picked up by Pink Flamingo Media and will be released MAY 2020!

AND, this is the first time I am using a pen name, Krystianna Mercury!

If the 1980s is your thing, and you love music from that era, this is a page-turning piece of chick lit erotica you may want to pick up!

Here is the synopsis:

Janey Peyton is filthy rich and living in NJ during the 1980s. She seems to have it all, including an Italian live-in housekeeper who drives her batty with overbearing dated love advice.

Since Janey’s workaholic, status-driven parents are absent in her life, love-starved Janey desperately seeks a soul mate as she cruises the new age nightclubs.

Enter Beck Stewart. Like Janey’s parents, he’s addicted to the grind—but for all the right reasons. He wants to make a better future for himself, and his potential wife, who he hopes would be Janey.

Because of their electrifying chemistry, the fact that Janey’s a good lay—and she has an impressive book and record collection—Beck falls hard for her and turns a blind eye to the immediate red flags: she’s a snoop and obviously hates his beloved old cat, Morticia.

When Janey discovers Beck can’t resist overtime hours, she mistakes his job loyalty for neglect. For “revenge” she takes on other loves and is careless when it comes to hiding her male and female conquests.

Does this sound like something you will want to read? Put your email below in the comments section and I’ll let you know when the book is published. It will be available on e-books; and in print version! 

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, ghost writing, writing. She is also available for book signings and motivational speaking engagements. She is the author of the following books :

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit: https://www.amazon.com/Be-Extra-Ordinary-Ways-Become/dp/1733546227

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261

“The Gypsy Smiled” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Gypsy-Smiled-Maryanne-Christiano-Mistretta-ebook/dp/B074VC7MT9

RIP, to My Friend Vinnie

Vincent Bordogna

A few days ago I learned that my good friend Vincent Bordogna, 56, passed away.

His sister reached out to me a few days ago. He died April 2, 2020.

He worked professional as an autocad drafter, and co-founded Resintopia 

He was also a bartender, and DJ.

My heart is torn into pieces. He was one of my best friends. We were close since we were teenagers; he was my first true love. He was the kindest soul. He would do anything for a friend.He was hilariously funny, creative, super ambitious, smart, sensitive, and a true lover of music. We’ve been to many concerts together over the years, including David Bowie, Keith Richards, and Peter Murphy.

He had a great family who would always welcome you into their home. He was beloved by my family, as well as my husband and my in-laws; and every friend I’ve had who met him. Yes, he was that great; the kind of guy who would walk into the room, steal the show and make all of us laugh. He’s supported me in all my endeavors over the years. And I loved supporting him too. He was one helluva DJ, bartender, artist, and most of all FRIEND.  A true original; and he will be missed so very much.

Godspeed Vinnie, will NEVER forget you! Christmas will not be the same without a card from you, and your presence at our parties. 🙏💔

Staying Healthy During COVID19 Lockdown

One of my salad dishes with homemade dressing of raw buckwheat honey, coconut aminos, and apple cider vinegar.

When I go to my Facebook feed, I see many friends are turning to comfort foods during the COVID19 lock down; especially since many are raving that now they have more time to cook. I see types of dishes I love like pastas, pierogies, and even homemade pizzas.

But where are the greens? This is the time we should up our intake of green food to keep our immune system strong.

I get it. Sometimes there are slim pickings at the supermarkets. It seems like the produce section is usually the first to clear out. We need to get to our favorite stores as soon as  shipments come to get not only what we want, but what is fresh.

And during these unpredictable times, our moods can fluctuate from, “I got this!” to “When is it going to end?” or something in-between. One day we’re ready as warriors, able to face the world and tackle the grocery shopping. Other days staying in confinement is just fine because the outside is scary. People walking around with masks, six feet away from each other. It’s not natural. And it can be depressing.

The thing is, our diets don’t have to be depressing. Sure, indulge in a treat, but make it once a day, if that. The rest of your meals should be something that’s giving you energy and contributing to your positive attitude.

For me, I feel it’s easy to get the health stuff out of the way first thing in the morning. That’s when I like to work out, take my supplements, and make a fresh smoothie. I’ll always have frozen organic fruit in the refrigerator, for those days when I can’t get to the supermarket. Since COVID19, I’ve been trying to limit it to once a week, during a time where I see as little people as possible.

In my smoothies, I’ll add greens. It could be anything like a handful of kale, parsley, or an avocado. A great add-in is moringa. I’ve been using the powder for years! It has so many health benefits, including fighting against bacterial diseases–which is especially important during this time!

I’ve been intermittent fasting during COVID-19, so a smoothie holds me over until I have food at lunch time, which is usually a raw salad with nuts. At night I might have a pasta dish, or another salad, depending on how active I was during the day.

There are many fun recipes on line, so eating healthy doesn’t have to be boring. In fact, now is the perfect time to learn something new. Perhaps you might find yourself creating some delicious dishes that are good for you? Let me know, below, if you’ve found yourself hooked on something healthy!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, ghost writing, writing. She is also available for book signings and motivational speaking engagements. She is the author of the following books :

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit: https://www.amazon.com/Be-Extra-Ordinary-Ways-Become/dp/1733546227

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261

“The Gypsy Smiled” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Gypsy-Smiled-Maryanne-Christiano-Mistretta-ebook/dp/B074VC7MT9

 

When to Fire Your Chiropractor (or Acupuncturist)

I’ve been been a fan of both chiropractic care and acupuncture for many years. I alternate between both. Chiro is great because you’re basically in and out. Acupuncture is nice if you like to relax. Since I started using both treatments, I went through many doctors.

Finding a good doctor is like finding a good hairstylist; it takes time. And sometimes you outgrow each other. There is nothing wrong with that. I believe that as a customer, you should be satisfied. Aside from someone not doing a satisfying job, there are other reasons you may want to consider finding someone else. Here’s a few….

1. He/she is too popular. This should be a good thing, right? Not necessarily. I used to go to someone I really liked. And everyone else liked her too. Whenever I went for a treatment, I’d be waiting at least 15 minutes, sometimes 20. To me, this isn’t cool. Also, the place became to run like an assembly line — in, wait, needles, out; while you could hear full conversations going on in the room next to you. What was once a relaxing spiritual experience with new age music, and a sweet recovery turned into a rush job and not feeling as healed as I remembered. Then one time as she was treating me, and part of my clothing was off, she opened the door to talk to someone. I found this to be rude — and the last straw. I stopped going to her. There were way too many people in the office at one time and I felt more like a number than a patient.
2. He/she talks too much. This should be a red flag from the get go. When COVID19 lock-down began, I took it upon myself to try to get a long-time kink in my arm fixed. I tried someone who shared a space with another chiropractor I once used. From the first treatment it was constant chatter from her. Talking about things SHE wanted to talk about. Shallow bits, from one dull topic to another. I had visions of her accidentally snapping my neck and killing me because she wasn’t paying attention to what she was doing. I didn’t feel comfortable; or happy. But I figured I wouldn’t be judgmental and gave her a chance and continued going to her twice a week for about a month. It was wrong not to trust my intuition because the last day, my lower back was killing me! It took me three days of doing stretches from a You Tube doctor that I trusted before the back pain subsided.
3. He/she seems to have a crush on you. It hasn’t happened in over 10 years, but yes, I did have a chiropractor that had a crush on me. It was uncomfortable and I simply told him I wasn’t going back to him. It’s a shame because he was a great doctor and really helped me.
4. He/she insults you. I think it’s unprofessional for a professional to belittle you. Whether it’s your clothes, weight, or what you look like, this is not cool and none of his or her business. You can always insult them back because of course no one is perfect and we can all say something about each other if we choose to. However, some of us are way too classy to stoop to such a low level. Or we just naturally see only the good in others and would never think to put someone down. But unfortunately, this has happened often over the years. Recently I found an acupuncturist I adored. Then one day she pointed out that one of my eyes were bigger than the other and made a big deal about it. REALLY?! Doesn’t everyone have one eye bigger than the other? I thought this was weird. It couldn’t really count as an insult, but more of an observation. But why make someone feel self-conscious? Also, when I had my first book published, I was very proud and showing practically everyone. Hey, it was my first book! The chiropractor I was using at the time wanted to see the book, so I brought it in to show him. He had the gall to say, “Do you really think this will go anywhere?” I had no answer at the time. It wasn’t a nice thing to say to an aspiring author. His comment put me in a bad mood. Maybe nothing would come out of it? But it DID! That first book had many sales; I got to officiate a wedding for a fan; I was on blog talk radio all over the country, plus regular radio too! I’ve inspired young people to become writers. It led to me becoming a public speaker. I also received royalty checks until the book went out of print (and it’s being sold on Amazon for almost a grand!) I’m now on my fifth book, and it can be purchased in Barnes & Noble. I’ve come a long way since that first self-published book, which went pretty far. And where is that chiropractor? Oh, he moved into a bigger office. Good for him, but he doesn’t have me as a client anymore.
5. Distance. There are acupuncturists and chiropractors (and even massage therapists) out there who I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, but haven’t seen in awhile simply because of distance. Maybe I used them when I had more time to travel. Or maybe I used them while I was working on a project in their area and it was convenient at the time. Or I moved. But for whatever reason, they are no longer in an appropriate distance to me. When you get out of treatment, you shouldn’t be sitting in traffic, or driving far. You should be relaxing.

Do any of these things resonate with your choice in leaving your holistic health care practitioner? Share your stores in the comments section!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, ghost writing, writing. She is also available for book signings and motivational speaking engagements. She is the author of the following books :

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit: https://www.amazon.com/Be-Extra-Ordinary-Ways-Become/dp/1733546227

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261

“The Gypsy Smiled” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Gypsy-Smiled-Maryanne-Christiano-Mistretta-ebook/dp/B074VC7MT9

COVID-19 in the 1970s

Everyone can use a laugh right now, so I came up with an idea. Let’s take a walk down memory lane and imagine, what if COVID-19 happened in the 1970s?

In the 1970s truckers were communicating to each other on CB radios, a citizen’s band radio for short distance communication. If they were dealing with COVID19, the conversation would go a little something like this…

TRUCKER 1: Breaker Break. This here’s Social Distancer, can I get a check-point Charlie on a picklepark that has toilet paper?

TRUCKER 2: Good Buddy, this here’s Coughin’ Mouth. Negatory on the T.P.

There would be no dancing. The movie “Saturday Night Fever” would be known as “Saturday Night Fever, Tiredness, and Dry Cough.”

Jaws would be irrelevant. No one is going in the water. No one is going anywhere. But if we did, and the shark got us, he’d definitely spit out those nasty latex gloves!

Streaking would still be a thing. Nudists social distancing — from their clothing!

Alice Cooper’s hit song “School’s Out” would also be relevant, especially the line, “School’s out forever.”

Lava lamps would contain floating images of the COVID19 virus.

And like we’re doing today, we’d just have to take it One Day at a Time.

Stay safe and healthy!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, ghost writing, writing. She is also available for book signings and motivational speaking engagements. She is the author of the following books :

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit: https://www.amazon.com/Be-Extra-Ordinary-Ways-Become/dp/1733546227

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261

“The Gypsy Smiled” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Gypsy-Smiled-Maryanne-Christiano-Mistretta-ebook/dp/B074VC7MT9

COVID-19 Health & Safety in Health Food Stores

Coconut wrap with avocado. tomato, and arugula 

Yesterday I had a horrible experience in a health food store. The owner sent me an email apologizing, so I won’t “name and shame” but I think it’s important to share my experience in case others have something similar happen to them. And I made a promise to myself to never support them again after what went down.

First, this is MY POLICY…

Beginning today, I am no longer supporting mom and pop “health” food stores who do not respect the boundaries of COVID19. This includes: 1. Cashiers/managers and other workers NOT social distancing. 2. Stores that do not sanitize their carriages; 3. Store that have a “policy” for CUSTOMERS to wear those vinyl/latex gloves because they are unsanitary when used incorrectly; 4. Stores that do not clean their parking lots that are filled with said gloves discarded on the ground.

Now, my bad experience…

There’s a health food store I’ve favored for over a decade. They had everything. Great produce, mineral make-up, toiletries, and perfume that doesn’t test on animals (I’ve used cruelty free products since 1996), and even a great selection of incense.

Two weeks ago, I noticed they had vinyl gloves for customers to wear to shop. These types of gloves never sat well with me. In fact, I think they are disgusting. Nevertheless, I put a pair on and within seconds I was pulling them off because I could feel my sensitive skin reacting to them. I tossed them in the garbage. I shopped, then afterwards I went to my car and noticed these gloves were discarded all over the lot. The store didn’t take care to clean up and put them in the garbage. I found this to be vile and was proud of myself for not participating in the glove thing.

Yesterday I went back to the store and now it was mandatory that customers had to wear gloves. I told a cashier that I couldn’t wear them because last week they made my hands red.

Well, she took it upon herself to come out from behind her cash register and scold me — two feet away from me! Not at all social distancing. Now I was freaking out because I knew this person was a smoker and not in the best of health. Even though I’m very healthy, I didn’t want her to pass it to me, if she had it, then I might pass it to someone else who isn’t very healthy! So not cool.

At this point, I’d also like to say, that this store does not sanitize their carriages. This is something that never bothered me before. I am not a germ phobic, but now with COVID19, I can’t…

Anyway, I told her I was going to contact the owner of the store because she was harassing me. She went nuts and told the manager of the make-up department that I was going to tell on her. What a big baby! The make-up manager wasn’t much better in insisting that I wear the gloves. It made no difference to her when I said I was a professional writer/author and I couldn’t afford to have my hands get red, itchy, or whatever else would happen because two weeks ago I had a bad reaction to the vinyl gloves. Did she give a shit? No. Instead the two women continued to behave like scary, uptight school marms as they went on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about “store policy.”

I was like, “forget it,” and left. Without groceries.

Then I called one of their other stores to speak to the owner. He wasn’t there but another manager told me I could go back into the store wearing WINTER GLOVES.

REALLY?! WINTER GLOVES?! That is even more unsanitary! I practically laughed in her face.

I left feeling defeated. It was a 25-minute drive and now I had no groceries for the week. When I got home, I researched and found this wonderful article from Men’s Health: You Shouldn’t Be Wearing Gloves To Go Grocery Shopping

I smiled to myself and posted this on Facebook. A nurse friend said the article is correct. Being right was cool, but it didn’t take away from the drama of being yelled at by two misinformed puppets who seemed to take a sadist delight in ganging up on a friendly, happy, petite, attractive woman. It was an extreme level of catty I haven’t experienced in a long time; from two mean women who were stuck in a go-nowhere job. Perhaps they were pissed that they had to work during the COVID19 pandemic. But that is not my problem. They should take it up with their boss.

The incident took it’s toll on me and I had a headache since last night. This is when I realized, you can’t call a place a health food store when it’s stressing you out, because STRESS IS NOT HEALTHY!

Later that day, my husband took me to Whole Foods. Over the years I had my issues with that store too, but to my surprise, the way they were handing things was impressive. They had customers lined up outside, letting people in as others left. Everyone was politely standing six feet apart. The wait wasn’t bad at all, especially since it was a gorgeous spring day.

Inside some were disobeying the six feet rule, but my immune system is pretty stellar so I wasn’t worried. Especially their mouths were covered with masks and they weren’t scolding me, so no accidental spit was coming out of their mouths like how some people get when they yell.

When I paid, and I am not an Amazon Prime member so I don’t get a discount, my total was 20 percent less than what I usually pay at that mom and pop store. They also carry some brands I like that the other store doesn’t.

So until this pandemic ends and I can go food shopping every day like I used to and support other mom and pop health food stores, I think I’ll be just fine going to Whole Foods as a one-stop shopping place.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, ghost writing, writing. She is also available for book signings and motivational speaking engagements. She is the author of the following books :

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit: https://www.amazon.com/Be-Extra-Ordinary-Ways-Become/dp/1733546227

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261

“The Gypsy Smiled” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Gypsy-Smiled-Maryanne-Christiano-Mistretta-ebook/dp/B074VC7MT9