Bloganuary Challenge – Day 29 – How Are You Changing the World? (I’m NOT!)

Autographing my book “I Don’t Want to Be Like You” for a child who was being bullied at school

Whenever I get down on myself, my husband reminds me what a difference I make in people’s lives. He also reminds me of all the positivity I put into my monthly newsletter, promoting my business, which is hosted on WordPress: https://peartreeenterprises.wordpress.com/

Sometimes I say to myself, I wish I could be as good as my newsletter persona!

I guess the truth is, I find this question cringe-worthy.

Years ago I was having a discussion with a younger woman who was in a desperate rush to get married and have children. At the time I was happily living with my husband. We knew, in our hearts, we’d get married but we weren’t rushing–as the love would always be there. Plus, I always thought it was so romantic waiting and marrying later in life.

Anyway, this girl was really getting on my nerves, pushing her “clock is ticking out” agenda on to me. I wanted to get married someday, but never cared to have children. To shut her up, I said, “My children are too good for this world.”

She shot back, “My child could change the world.” Her smirk was like chalk on a blackboard.

Ew. Imagine having a mother who puts that kind of expectation on you? Her twisted vision haunted me for years. How can any one person change the world? First of all, we’re all so different. In order to change the world, you’d have to get everyone on the same wavelength, the same thought pattern, at the same time. And that’s not going to happen. Even if you did something incredible and you became famous for it. You still didn’t “change the world.” You may have changed your country, but there will always be those who didn’t agree with the change and won’t subscribe to it. For example – if you invented the Covid vaccine, many people won’t get it for whatever reason. You didn’t change “the world” you changed a portion of it. Only God can change the world.

But can we change our own little world? Of course we can!

Every day we can do one small thing for someone to make a difference. A nice compliment makes someone’s day. A hefty donation can make someone’s week. An opportunity can make someone’s year. An effective insight can change someone’s life.

I’d never be so pompous to say I’m “changing the world” but as a non-believer in false modesty, I’m confident to sometimes agree with my husband’s statement–I do make a difference. I’m the friend who shows up on time, who gives generous compliments, and who is the first to call if someone’s pet died. I’m the professional who writes articles about the homeless; and how great children are doing in cities that are known for the high crime rate; and cops who donated their Christmas turkeys to needy families. I’m the wife who makes my husband feel like a little kid again because I’m so much fun. And I write books that people can turn to if they are being bullied in school, giving them away to those in desperate need of support.

When we all put together our pieces of the puzzle, it makes a difference. The key word is “we.” No one person can change the world, but together we all can! Let’s do it! Let’s make the world a more tender, compassionate, happier place to be.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

Bloganuary Challenge – Day 28 – What is On My Music Playlist? EVERYTHING!!

In front of Queen + Adam Lambert Tour Bus

Music? Did someone say music? I live music and even have a 45-rpm spindle tattooed on my forearm.

This is my favorite topic, and I will not shut up about it. In fact, I’m a music snob, so do not challenge me, I will win any music argument.

I have a vast collection of CDs and albums in the thousands. I was a music journalist most of my life, and interviewed many of my favorite artists. Or I just met them either by chance (easy when you work and hang out in NYC) or at a record signing/book signing. I go see live acts at least once a month, much more in the summer time because you have the outdoor shows.

All my free time is spent listening to music. I can’t even brush my teeth without music on. That said, everything is on my playlist. I like a variety of music from all genres, so it’s hard to pick a favorite, but here’s just a taste of what is in my collection: Queen, Katy Perry, Billie Eilish, The Cure, The Psychedelic Furs, Cher, Sonny & Cher, Serge Gainsbourg, Ella Fitzgerald, Sierra Ferrell, Lou Christie, The Monkees, ABBA, Gary Numan, David Bowie, The Stranglers, The Sex Pistols, Neurotic Outsiders, Iggy Pop (solo stuff trumps The Stooges, don’t argue), HIM, Mission U.K., Ben Kweller, Amy Winehouse, The Smithereens, Hanoi Rocks, Japan, David Sylvian, Peter Murphy, Bauhaus, Daniel Ash, Mick Karn, Johnny Cash, Elvis Presley, Elvis Costello, Blondie, The B52s, Boomtown Rats, Jim Carroll, early KISS, early Aerosmith, Keith Richards solo, The Stones, Redd Kross, Cocteau Twins, Alabama Shakes, Charles Bradley, The Pixies, The Movies, Jonathan Richman, Culture Club, Coyote Shivers, D-Generation, Dead Boys, Joe Jackson…to name a few. This was all off the top of my head, but I’m probably missing quite a bit that I really love, I’m sure.

Also, if anyone wants to talk to me about music – I don’t do “greatest hits.” If you tell me you like a band and I ask, “What is your favorite album by them?” and you say, “Greatest Hits,” please, do not talk to me about music, ever. I’m a character out of the movie “High Fidelity” and I will shame you for not exploring a band’s history if you say you love them.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

Bloganuary Challenge – Day 27 – Where Do You Go When You Need Solitude?

I’m so blessed to live alone with my husband and our cats in a decent-sized house. We have no children, so it’s always peaceful here. If my husband plays the stereo too loud, I kindly ask, “Can you please turn it down?” If I need to concentrate on work, I’m in my office and I tell him not to disturb me. Otherwise, we are either quiet or loud together, whichever way we’re feeling.

Upstairs, in addition to other rooms, I have a private room I call my “Zen Den.” This is where I keep my recent diaries, my incense, my crystals, many books, and all my CDs. I also have a spiritual altar there. Each morning I go in the Zen Den to have some moments to myself, to write in my diary and speak to The Universe.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

Bloganuary Challenge – Day 26 – Favorite Part of Yourself

MY PERSONALITY!

Yes, I’ll say it shamelessly. I have a dynamic personality!

In a world of pigeons, I’m a flamingo.

I’m fun and funny. I’m upbeat. I smile at strangers. I make lemonade out of lemons.

I have a great lust for life and appreciate each waking moment.

Loving yourself is a blessing. Love yourself today!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

Bloganuary Challenge – Day 25 – What Makes You Feel Strong?

Me, 2007, age 44

What makes me feel strong? That’s an easy one–ME!

I worked hard to be able to work for myself as a writer. Knowing that I can effortlessly DELIVER a stellar product that needs minimal editing in minimal time makes me feel invincible. I get such a high off my work, my heart races. Being my own boss is strength and I owe it to no one but myself.

Prior to falling in love with my husband, and finally having a beautiful soul to lean on, I lived alone for 15 years. While I dated plenty, there was no one I was serious about and I did most everything for myself and by myself.

I’m so blessed I married a man who trusts me. I feel so free; more so than when I was single. We’re together most of the time, but sometimes if I want to do something alone (usually career-related, like a business trip, or lunch with the girls) I can count on him to be trusting and genuinely happy for me. Marrying a man like that was important to me.

Having a strong sense of independence in both your career and personal life is empowering. I think every woman should rely on HERSELF for strength! Strength = Security! You can do it!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

Bloganuary Challenge – Day 24 – Write About A Dream You Remember

Image by Sharon McCutcheon

How can I forget the dream I had last night? It had to do with something very cool that happened TODAY.

I can’t say it enough, because I’m so grateful I get to write for a living. One of the publications I write for is NY Clips. A recent story I pitched was about a DJ who has a segment on his radio show where he interviews homeless people on the streets of NYC.

The publisher of NY Clips okayed the story. And this morning I interviewed the DJ on the phone prior to writing the article.

As writers, even when we know we’re good at what we do, there’s often a bit of anxiety. And that anxiety is obvious via your dreams. Last night I dreamed I was all set to do the interview, then my computer broke. I needed a part to fix the computer and what was supposed to be a 20 to 40 minute interview turned into an all day extravaganza!

This morning I said to myself, “I hope that wasn’t a prophecy dream” as I have them from time to time.

Fortunately, my computer was fine. And the article turned out great! You can view it here: https://www.nyclips.com/blogs/ny-stories/wfmu-dj-gives-a-voice-to-nyc-s-homeless

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

Bloganuary Challenge – Day 23 – Interview a Fictional Character

Love Cats

INTERVIEW WITH JANEY PEYTON

Love Cats is a fictitious book I wrote under the pen name Krystianna Mercury. Janey Peyton is the lead character. She’s a 20-something rich, selfish woman who falls in love with Beck Stewart. She doesn’t understand his work ethic. He is working hard to establish himself and hopefully marry her someday. Janey takes this as neglect and goes on a wild sex spree, cheating on him for “revenge.” The story takes place in the 1980s, so there’s a lot of great music as a backdrop. I purchased the rights to use lyrics from two songs, from Hal Leonard Music, “Love Cats” by The Cure; and “Mass Production” by Iggy Pop.

Maryanne: How could you fail to see what a nice guy Beck is?

Janey: I’m not sure. I was young and sowing my wild oats. Deep down, I wanted to settle with Beck. I guess I was hesitant.

And you hurt others along the way.

Only one. Heather. I could have fallen deeply for her, but I did meet Beck first.

So, you basically used her to “get back” at Beck for something he didn’t even do?

Not intentionally. Like I said, I was young and everything happened so quickly. Beck was a bit of a workaholic. I was alone often. I was bored.

In the end, was it all worth it?

You will have to read the book to find out!

And, finally, can you tell us why the title, “Love Cats?”

My story takes place in the 1980s, when The Cure had a hit with the song “Love Cats.” But I hate cats! Well, back then I did. When I temporarily broke off with Beck, I dated a famous photographer named Adam Durian. He was cat-obsessed. This is when I became a bit intrigued … and well, you’ll have to read the book to see what happened next. A cat and a kitten both played a large role in getting Beck and I back together, believe it or not. You can get the paperback on Amazon or via the publisher. The link is at the bottom of this blog. Or you can get the NOOK Book from Barnes and Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/love-cats-krystianna-mercury/1137026365

Do note, the book is erotica. Readers 21 and over only!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

Bloganuary Challenge – Day 22 – What is Your Favorite Quote and Why?

I have enemies. A ton of them.

Maybe “enemy” is a strong word, but let’s just say there are many people who dislike me. And I know exactly why they don’t like me and I refuse to change.

First, let’s back up a bit. I’m not a victim being too hard on myself or imagining things. I know my good qualities. I’m a fantastic person because of these high-quality traits:

1. I am not a jealous person. I’ll be the first to give a compliment and cheer a friend on for his/her successes. I’m the one who notices things like a new piece of jewelry, a great haircut, and when someone is glowing. If someone is in love–I pick up on it!
2. I show up on time. I don’t like making people wait for me. Who the hell am I?
3. I go to everyone’s events. Is your band playing tonight? Are you a featured artist in a gallery? Count me in to support you!
4. I’ll do something I don’t like just to accompany someone so they don’t have to go alone. For example, if a friend has tickets to a concert and no one else wants to go, I’ll go whether I like the band or not. Just to have a new experience and make someone happy means so much to me.
5. I return phone calls and emails in a timely manner.

And now for my “worst” quality, which I don’t see as a bad one, but others do. I actually wish more people had this “bad” quality because it’s an honest one. Although in this day and age we’re living in a world of wusses. People can’t take anything that rocks their boat.

My worst quality is that I call people on their bullshit. No, that doesn’t mean telling someone they are fat. Or they look old in that hairstyle. Or that their laugh is like nails on a chalkboard. I’m not that person, even though people have said cruel things like that to me.

My gig is more about calling out people when they are not too nice of a friend. Like if someone asks a question that crosses the line and is way too personal, I’ll let them know. If a friendship isn’t what it used to be, I’ll ask someone if I did something wrong; how can I fix it? And if someone ignores a heartfelt email where I bared my soul, I will ask, why do you feel it’s unimportant not to respond? For example, someone dies, and you share. Why would someone not call you IMMEDIATELY and ask, “How can I help?” If your not holding up to your end of the friendship, I’m going to let you know.

This type of honesty jars people. It pushes them out of their comfort zone. I’ve always felt that we can only grow as people if we learn about each other. And part of that learning process is to discuss things, especially if they are bothersome. Too many people are quick to throw away friendships because they consider talking/discussing “drama.”

We live in a world where people are no longer reading. They’re scrolling on their phones looking at photos, like zombies. No one can effectively communicate anymore.

But if friends can’t have a proper discussion, is it really a friendship? I don’t think so.

The good news is, There will always be other friendships–and people in general. Keep trying until you find your tribe. Whether it’s friends, or romantic relationships, or even the right dentist, with billions of people in the world, there’s no reason to settle for an unsatisfying friendship, or unsatisfying service, or unsatisfying anything. Keep being you! Because YOU stood up for something in your life–and that’s a good thing!

[Insert heart emoji here].

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing. Rates are competitive.

Bloganuary Challenge – Day 21 – What Year Would I Time Travel To and Why?

Me, age 15, and Grandma, in Hollywood, California, 1979

I would time travel to ANY year that my grandmother was still alive. So that would be from the day I was born, until January, 1995.

Since I was a toddler, she was my favorite person of all time. She was like a big fluffy marshmallow! Sweet and fun. When I was between the ages of 8 and 10, I loved staying over her house. We watched “The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour” together, and I stayed up very late while she watched “The Johnny Carson Show.” Life with Grandma was always a blast. She had a genuine interest in anything I was interested in.

When I got older, she was the most supportive person when it came to my writing career. Prior to being a professional, I did poetry readings throughout New Jersey and NYC. By then, Grandma had diabetes and lost a leg. Nevertheless, there she was in her wheel chair, right in the front, cheering me on.

When someone wrote about my poetic performance in The Star Ledger, my Grandma said to my mother, “She’s making it.” When you have someone who believes in you that much, you can’t possibly fail in life.

The day my grandmother died, January 1995 (I don’t remember if it was the 27th or 28th, as those final days were a blur), it was the saddest day of my life. Nothing could ever be that bad again. I walked around in a daze for two weeks, but I kept walking because my grandmother was about LIFE.

Even in her final months, sick as she was, she went everywhere in her wheel chair — to gamble in Atlantic City and to see Elvis impersonators (she loved Elvis). She even went on rollercoasters! The ride attendants allowed her to ride several times in a row since she was a cute old lady.

The best way I can describe Grandma, is to say she was a Betty White type. She was cute and bubbly, but also threw in some funny or even crass zingers. She’s the only person I ever met who could say something brutally honest to someone and they wouldn’t get mad because her deliverance was filled with love.

For example, she once told me, “I enjoyed you more when you were a kid.” I thought that was hilarious because it was true. I was glued to her side as a kid and she loved that. Then I got older and developed other interests–friends, boyfriends, life. But she always remained in my heart as my favorite person.

To this day, I miss her so much. Oh, how I wish I could time travel to see her again, if even for a day!

I love you Grandma! xoxo

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Bloganuary Challenge – Day 20 – What is a Favorite Photo I’ve Taken?

NYC Skyline by Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta

I love this photo because I love NYC. I was lucky to have worked there as a writer for a few years. I’ve stayed overnight in friends’ apartments. I even cat sat for a month, living in the Tudor City section of Manhattan, located on the east side between 40th and 43rd streets. That gave me a real taste of living in NYC. (And all that said, I still favor New Jersey, which only people who live here, including former New Yorkers will get).

When I took this photograph a couple years ago, I was coming home from a meeting with the publisher of Dining Out Magazine. I was their lead market editor for several months. Their office was in Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey. The publisher also owned a yogurt shop in Edgewater, New Jersey. We’d sometimes have meetings there. I snapped this photo while stopped at a traffic light, in the Weehawken, New Jersey area.

It was one of those rare moments in life where everything was just perfect. I got along great with the publisher. We had many laughs and many fine meals in restaurants all over Bergen County. And thanks to that gig, I was guest listed for a Duran Duran show, which was amazing.

I’m not the best photographer, but as a professional journalist, I didn’t always have the luxury of having a photographer assist me on gigs. I often had to take my own shots, and developed a good eye. Publishers are impressed that I use a real camera, not a phone to take pictures.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/