Silk18 Shampoo For Men And Women

Published February 28, 2019 by Maryanne

Silk18_SH_10oz_front

Whenever Maple Holistics comes out with a new product, I’m totally jazzed!

First, I’m always on the look out for cruelty free products. I’ve been cruelty free since the mid-1990s. That said, it’s hard to find a cruelty free product that’s actually good. But with Maple Holistics, you can never go wrong.

I’ve used their products in the past, so I’ve been a fan for some time: https://maryannemistretta.wordpress.com/2017/11/04/maple-holistics-tea-tree-shampoo/

The new Silk18 shampoo is my latest product addiction. It really does make your hair silky soft. And the scent is absolutely lovely. It makes my hair smell like a delicious vanilla vegan cookie! It doesn’t leave a filmy residue.

And while it doesn’t say “hypoallergenic,” it seems like it is. In the past I’ve had issues using other all natural, cruelty free brands; so I’m limited in what products I can use. But Maple Holistics is a brand I can trust and count on. It’s paraben and sulfate free!

For more information on their new product, go here: https://www.mapleholistics.com/products/hair-care/silk18-shampoo/

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is an award winning journalist and health advocate. Her articles on health have appeared in numerous newspapers and magazines. She’s also available for speaking engagements on the following plant-based lectures: “Here’s To Your Health,” “Healthy Pasta Alternatives” and “Eat Well for the Holidays.” Contact Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta at: MaryanneChristiano@gmail.com 

Keep Fighting!

Published February 27, 2019 by Maryanne

Don't Give Up

Sometimes it’s best for a smart person to “ignore.” But I have to beg to differ in some circumstances. Rosa Parks didn’t change the world by ignoring. Enough said.

If you feel strongly about something, speak up! Whether it’s in love, friendship, business, or a random situation.

Being diplomatic can sometimes serve a purpose, but it’s not the best way to go. Be a friend to everyone means you’re a friend to no one. Think about that.

I don’t do diplomatic. I don’t do shoving things under a rug. And while I can ignore some internet trolling, I won’t ignore all of it.

The best people in the world are fighters. That’s when you see who your real friends are. To fight is to straighten a bond. We can never honestly love each other unless we know what makes each other mad. We can learn how to be better people by talking things out. Now, I’m not talking about name calling or purposely hurting people. By “fight” I mean to put it all out there with all heart and soul!

I’m always the first to call someone on their bullshit. If I point out to someone that what they are doing/saying isn’t call and they get all defensive and say stupid phrases like, “I don’t want to be your friend because I don’t want to walk on eggshells.” That is DUMB!

People who don’t want to “walk on eggshells” are wimps because what they are saying is, “I don’t want to make an effort to know you better. I don’t want to learn to be a better person. You’re not worth it.” So they are definitely not someone you should be friends with! Kind people are sensitive, caring, and people who try to elevate themselves. Not everyone has the same sense of humor. If you say something stupid, don’t cover up by saying, “I was only joking.” If someone doesn’t get the joke, maybe you should re-evaluate your sense of humor.

All that said, I said it once, I’ll say it 1000 times, IT’S OKAY TO FIGHT!

My Grandmother was my favorite person in the world — and boy, did we fight! But we also forgave and made up. THAT is how you have a loving relationship. No holding back. No lies. And getting shit off your chest! 

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is the author of the memoir “I Don’t Want to Be Like You” which is about her experiences growing up being bullied. She now is putting adult bullies in their places and available for public speaking engagements! Contact her for availability and rates at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com 

Links to the book are here: 

HGBM Store:  https://highergroundbooksandmedia.com/product/i-dont-want-to-be-like-you

Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1536446696&sr=8-2&keywords=maryanne+christiano+mistretta

Kindle:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07H6H4CY1/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1536446756&sr=8-1&keywords=maryanne+christiano+mistretta+kindle 

Her next book, “Be (Extra) Ordinary: Ten Ways to Be Your Own Hero” will be out October 2019. Pre-order your copy today! https://kicamprojects.com/shop/be-extraordinary/

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

It’s True, Some Gay Men Are Misogynist

Published February 25, 2019 by Maryanne

gay men hating women

I don’t remember my very first experience with a gay man, but in my younger day I do remember getting along great with gay men. So much so that one wanted to kiss me because he thought “women are beautiful.” He was so cute, he reminded me of Peter Burns before he got all the plastic surgery. We kissed and talked until the sun came up.

Because of him, I considered myself a supporter of the gay community. Plus the fact that one of my favorite entertainers, Freddie Mercury is gay. Living so close to NYC, I’ve known so many gay men in passing; some transvestites too. They were great and so much fun.

As I got older, I supported the gay community by attending Pride Parades in NYC, going to Wigstock, shedding a million big tears for transgender teens Matthew Shepherd and Brandon Teena, hanging out in gay bars, going to gay rights rallies, and being one of the first reporters to write about gay marriages.

The first time I ever heard anything negative from a gay man was when I worked with at a newsroom in NYC. He said loud enough for everyone in the office to hear, “I’m not attracted to women!”

Another man who was straight and misogynist laughed.

I found no humor in it. It wasn’t what the gay man said, but how he said it. He spoke his words harshly, as a put down to women.

I’ve also heard a gay man say the stereotypical line, “Vaginas are ugly.”

And another call a woman a “slut.”

If I dig deep enough into my brain, I’m sure I’d remember much more.

A few years ago I was getting my hair cut in a salon, by a woman, and a gay man (who also worked there as a stylist) was on an anti-woman rant. It was so pathetic and ignorant, I stopped going to the salon, even though the woman gave me a great cut.

Several months ago, I found myself in a situation where I had to work creatively with a gay man. This one had a reputation for being nasty to women. He belittles women and throws the F-bomb at them when he gets pissed. Over nothing of importance I might add, so I can’t imagine what he’d do in a real crisis!. He runs hot and cold which scared me because he was like a ticking time bomb; a real loose cannon. All the makings of a bully. Towards women only.

When I told my husband that this man used the F word towards me, my husband wanted to go talk to the gay man personally. “No one talks to my wife that way,” my super cool husband said in my defense.

The thing is, some gay men DO talk to straight woman that way. Just like some straight men are misogynist, some gay men are misogynist, especially if a woman isn’t up to his high standards. I mean, if you’re of a diva status like Cher, you’re in. But even if the gay man isn’t that attractive himself, he’ll stoop to the lowest level and trash on a woman he feels is “unattractive.”

Some gay men are both misogynist and ageist. I used to work in an editorial department with a gay man (who was in the closet). He harassed me on a regular basis. I asked a male co-worker, “What did I ever do to him?”

He said, “You turned 40.” (Funny thing, I looked him up on Facebook recently, and he looks older than I do–and I’m now 55 and he’s probably like 30-something! Heh. Karma’s an evil bitch, right?)

They thing is, women shouldn’t feel like they should be silenced because they fear they will piss off the gay community by speaking up. In all walks of life, there are assholes. And assholes should be called out for what they are — assholes. There are straight misogynist assholes. There are gay misogynist assholes. That is the truth. What is the demographic? I don’t know, but it’s certainly more than people want to admit because they are afraid if they speak out against the gay community they will be viewed as homophobic.

But ladies, please don’t be afraid. You know, in your heart you are NOT homophobic. So don’t let people pull that card on you for telling your truth. Just share eloquently as I am sharing, and the smart ones will understand. As for others who want to spew hate on your behalf and twist things around, you don’t need them anyway!

I’ll always view misogyny as vile no matter who is the one with the misogynist views — a straight man or a gay man. But if a misogynist crosses my path, I will NOT be silenced!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is the author of the memoir “I Don’t Want to Be Like You” which is about her experiences growing up being bullied. She now is putting adult bullies in their places and available for public speaking engagements! Links to the book are here: 

HGBM Store:  https://highergroundbooksandmedia.com/product/i-dont-want-to-be-like-you

Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1536446696&sr=8-2&keywords=maryanne+christiano+mistretta

Kindle:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07H6H4CY1/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1536446756&sr=8-1&keywords=maryanne+christiano+mistretta+kindle 

Her next book, “Be (Extra) Ordinary: Ten Ways to Be Your Own Hero” will be out October 2019. Pre-order your copy today! https://kicamprojects.com/shop/be-extraordinary/

 

Rest in Peace, Dear Bennie Cat

Published February 15, 2019 by Maryanne

BennieBennie Grover Hemmingway

Earlier today we had to put down our sweet Bennie cat.

He was a feral who started showing up at our doorstep last August. My husband and I fed him. He was enticed by the food, but more so, the pets we’d give him. It seemed he was more starved for love than for food! He’d take a few bites, but then put his head up to be pet. Of course we fell in love.

One day he wasn’t around. I called, “Bennie!” He knew his name and ran through the grass like a gazelle! He had such a personality.

Before we took him in, we got him checked out by a vet and learned he had FIV, a feline auto-immune disorder. We wanted him anyway. We knew with FIV, he’d come with health problems, but we didn’t realize it would be so soon. He was only 3-years-old.

When he was officially inside, he loved it! He did this cute thing we called “Happy Paws.” He’d purr very loud and wiggle his paws. Sometimes he’d lie on his back with his happy paws up in the air. And he was so cute when he cocked his head to the side, like a puppy would do!

Bennie was a lazy cat. He loved to lay around and be pet constantly. He really liked butt rubs. And he loved music. I’m not a singer, but I’d sing to him and he’d stand up and look right at me, as if he was giving me a standing ovation! Even if I had a punk rock band, like The Dickies on the CD player, he’d sit right in front of the speaker and listen.

We only had him five months. He had brain cancer. And he was a little fighter too. He was determined to make a go of it, but unfortunately worse came to worse and the sad day had come. I collapsed in my husband’s arms. We were both devastated.

Our vet said Bennie knew he was sick and he came to us to give him a good home  before he passed. I know we did! And I’ll miss those purrs and that beautiful face.

Godspeed Bennie.

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” –Anatole France

SAM_3260 (1)SAM_13251

Take the High Road, Don’t Low Ball!

Published January 31, 2019 by Maryanne

Maryanne summerDon’t let anyone low-ball you! 

As a self-employed business woman (ghost writer, blogger, Facebook updater, author, speaker) each year I compare the market as to what others in my genre are making. That’s how I come up with my prices. I’ve been self-employed since 2009 and for the most part, I’m living the dream.

Every now and then, I get a potential client who wants to price haggle. That’s when I have to pull the reins in and say, “This is not a good fit.”

You can read my article “The Four Types of Clients You’ll Encounter” and see why you shouldn’t say “yes” to every potential client: https://patch.com/new-jersey/verona/bp–the-four-types-of-clients-youll-encounter

I am writing this blog to encourage self-employed people, especially those who are just starting out, to not let anyone low-ball you. Know your worth and increase your prices each year, or every other year.  AND I would also like clients to stop price haggling business professionals like they’re at a yard sale! It is not cool!

Since 2009 I’ve been helping people write their books. Many of them are now on Amazon; some doing incredibly well. I’ve written four books myself, two picked up by a traditional publisher. My fifth is a self-help book. It’s is going to be published by KiCam and is set for an October 2019 release (see here: https://kicamprojects.com/shop/be-extraordinary/).

With all that, it’s safe to say I know a thing or two about the publishing industry. So, it’s highly insulting when a potential new client asks me, “Is that your final price?”

Yes, it is. Or should I go much higher so you can haggle me down to my “final price”?

A few days ago I met a woman who had an incredible story. In fact, it was so incredible that one of my friends in the traditional publishing industry said she’d take a look at the story and possibly publish it.

Do you know what that means? As opposed to self-publishing (which most unknown authors do) it means the publisher was going to consider taking on this project and financing it. So, to use me as an editor, this potential client would still be way ahead of the game even though she thought my services were pricey. She wouldn’t have to pay thousands of dollars to a self publisher. She wouldn’t have to pay an agent to find her a traditional publisher. I could have helped her save so much time and money. But, no, because my per-hour price was too high, she took it upon herself to disrespect me and yell at me. Whoa, what a foolish woman!

I politely told her, “This is not a good fit. If you are worrying about money now, the project may never be finished.” And I hung up on her.

Nothing comes easy in life. If you want singing lessons, you pay by the teacher’s price. If you want therapy, you pay the psychologist’s price. If you want a health consultation, you pay the nutritionist’s price. So, if you want a good ghost writer/book editor, you pay their price. Get it? Got it? Good!

Try price haggling your doctor next time you go for a flu shot. (Or whatever it is that people do when they go to doctors. I don’t know, I don’t do doctors…but that’s another blog). My point is, if you want a good product, from a professional (that would be me) who has over 20 years in the publishing industry, you are going to pay for top quality.

Clients who have succeeded in working with me, from start to finish, have nothing but good to say about my work ethic. If I wasn’t that good, I wouldn’t be in business for so long. And it just keeps getting better because everyone who I helped write a book, tells their friends about me and I get their service too.

I’ve had many happy customers over the years, but I have to say, the happiest was Antoinette and Domenic Lombardi. I helped them write and publish their book 200 Letters, 62 Years and a War which was their love story. Soon after they started dating, Domenic went to serve in the Korean War. During that time, he wrote Antoinette 200 love letters. When I wrote the book in 2015, they were together 62 years. To this day, they send me a Christmas card every year, with a handwritten note, “Come visit us.”

But that’s besides the point. I don’t have to convince readers how good I am. I know I’m good. If I wasn’t, I still wouldn’t be doing something I love all this time!

So, if you hire me–or any professional–take the high road, don’t low ball. If you can’t afford a service, it may be God’s way of telling you to “wait, it’s not time yet.” But that’s between you and God, not you and the professional.

It’s more respectable to say to someone, “I can’t afford this…yet” instead of taking a shit fit over a price you feel is not affordable (as that lady did to me.)

If you want a ghost writer to help you write a book, it’s simple. Save your money. Or just own up to the fact that you’re not ready to write a book. If you want to do something, you’ll make it a priority. It’s as easy as that. Otherwise, this is not something you’re dying to do. Unless you want something so bad you can’t breath, you probably should be dreaming about doing something else.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is a motivational speaker and the author of “I Don’t Want to Be Like You” which addresses her experiences with being bullied. You can order the book from Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261

Her next book “BeExtraordinary” will be published in October 2019 by KiCam. To pre-order or visit the landing page, go here: https://kicamprojects.com/shop/be-extraordinary/

To book Maryanne for a speaking engagement, contact her at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com

Why I Left Young Living

Published January 22, 2019 by Maryanne

young-living

Perhaps “left” is a strong word. I didn’t exactly “leave” Young Living. I just decided to forfeit my status as a Young Living Star and save $100+ per month.

When I was first exposed to Young Living oils,  it wasn’t a bad thing. I loved the oils. And I still do. For four years I was excited to try various oils each month as well their soaps and body lotions, which are incredible.

Sales is not my forte, but I did manage to get a few people on my down line simply by speaking, organically about the oils and products in passing. I had a decent run of receiving small checks each month as well as free product for accumulating reward points.

There were times when I had a full bathroom cupboard stocked with about four YL toothpastes, five soaps, and three body lotions. In my kitchen cupboard were over 20 oils from their Vitality line that I’d never use in food because they are way too potent. Honestly, I’d rather use fresh herbs as spices than Young Living oils. And while some oils are great to use to help you get over certain ailments, hey, I’m a very healthy person. So, to be honest, I rarely use Young Living oils for my health! And, finally, there was all the stuff I’d never try–stuff I just wasn’t interested in. Currently, I have some favorite oils that I use as perfumes, but they are definitely going to last for at least the next 10 months.

When I gave up my Star status, and forfeited my Essential Rewards and the ability to get a check each month, which had now dwindled because the people on my down line who purchased the most had also left, I stayed on board because as I said, I do like their stuff. But four months later, there must be close to 100 bottles of oils in my house that I rarely use! When I thought about their fabulous body lotions, I signed in to get some for the winter. Then realized, there are body lotions by other companies that are just as clean and smell just as lovely, but cheaper.  I didn’t order anything. But who knows if I will in the future? As of now, I’m just not feeling it.

But, then, the biggest reason of all–Young Living is not my passion or my dream job.

When it comes to work, there are two things–and two things only–that I am passionate about. That’s writing and public speaking. I’ve been incredibly blessed that I’ve been able to make a living as a writer since 1995. Not that many people are as fortunate. For me to give up writing and public speaking, to invest in Young Living full time would be like Cher doing  infomercials; a total waste of talent!

Why on earth would I want to sell oils when I could be (and am!) writing books?! It just doesn’t make sense, right?

For years, in the business world, people have been saying, “Do what you love and you never work a day in your life.” Well, that’s me, especially since I ditched Young Living.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is a motivational speaker and the author of “I Don’t Want to Be Like You” which addresses her experiences with being bullied. You can order the book from Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261

Her next book “BeExtraordinary” will be published in October 2019 by KiCam. To pre-order or visit the landing page, go here: https://kicamprojects.com/shop/be-extraordinary/

To book Maryanne for a speaking engagement, contact her at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

Giving Goals

Published January 19, 2019 by Maryanne

baby and mommyPhoto by Mistretta

People have been busy writing down their goals for 2019, which is great. Then it dawned on me, it would be awesome to have giving goals as well.

There are three ways to give: money, time, and sharing (in other words, being vulnerable). Below are ways to up the ante for all of them!

  1. Money. Even if you’re on a strict budget, money is the easiest way to give. You can put a dollar in a veteran’s can and get a free poppy. For some, it’s the best we can do, but I think in our hearts we always want to do more. In my younger days I know I did. When the basket went around in church and I was only able to spare a few dollars, I secretly longed for the day I could throw in a $20 bill or more. Then that day happened! My next goal was for the Go Fund Me pages. I wanted to give more than $50. And that happened too. As we earn more, we can focus more on giving to others. It’s great to share!
  2. Time. Time is a very precious thing to give someone because life is short. You hear so many stories about children who have had successful parents that were never around. This is a lesson to balance your time so you can be more giving to people you love. While being spontaneous is wonderful, it’s also important to balance your day so you can be able to balance your time. Since I work for myself, at home, I have the luxury of making my own hours. That said, there’s a time I plan to shut down and devote to my husband and cats. Of course I also like to donate my time to good causes, and fun stuff. But always remember, to take time for yourself because if you’re not healthy and happy, you won’t be able to make others happy. Then when you feel optimal, you can give time in so many ways–volunteering, listening, offering your help, surprising someone by doing something nice unexpectedly. The list goes on and on! With little money to spare, you can always be creative with your time. Or even if you have a lot of money, perhaps someone would appreciate your time more? It’s something to think about.
  3. Sharing/Being Vulnerable. Sharing and being vulnerable is the biggest and best way to give, in my humble opinion. Time and money are the easy way out because ego isn’t involved. But when you take the time to pour your heart out to someone who desperately needs to know he or she is not alone, that is GOLD! Many people are afraid to share because of their ego. They want to put on a facade that they are perfect. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, the most inspiring people are the ones who are so free and open about sharing. They have truly made the world a better place. By “sharing” I don’t mean venting. I mean digging deep inside, no longer feeling the shame, and going with your heart and gut that by sharing something bad that happened to you, you are going to make another person feel not so alone! How great is that?! It takes a strong person to say, “Screw it, I’m going to try to help someone else. I don’t care if I am judged!” Anyone who has gone that route should be super proud of themselves. Put aside any shame you are feeling, because it’s not your fault that something bad happened to you if some loser took advantage of you. Because it’s a horrible person who should feel the shame–not YOU! So if you want to be a better friend, or a better person in general, make a point to get vulnerable. It’s the greatest way to give! You never know who you may help!

What do you think? What are your giving goals for 2019?

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is a motivational speaker and the author of “I Don’t Want to Be Like You” which addresses her experiences with being bullied. You can order the book from Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261

Her next book “BeExtraordinary” will be published in October 2019 by KiCam. To pre-order or visit the landing page, go here: https://kicamprojects.com/shop/be-extraordinary/

To book Maryanne for a speaking engagement, contact her at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com