Anti-Social?
Why am I not on social media? Easy answer – Because I don’t have to be. I’m set in my career. Family and friends reach me via texting, emails, or phone calls. And the same with the editors and publishers I work with. When people find me for speaking gigs, they reach me via Gig Salad. Or through my business website, peartreeenterprises.com … The same is with my new cat sitting business via Meowtel. They take a cut of my earnings because they do all the legwork for advertising — and I don’t have to.
But for the deep divers, here’s more detail…
I think it was about two years ago I deleted my accounts for Twitter, Linked In, and Instagram. I had one success story via Twitter, where my first traditional publisher found me. But success can happen anywhere, you don’t need social media for it. Most of my good fortune happened in other ways. And with a few exceptions, social media really wasn’t helping my career.
What helped my career was years of experience and my team of people behind me — the publishers, the editors, clients, and even friends who believed in me. It was thanks to all these people (and myself doing some leg work) that I was able to get on YouTube shows, podcasts, interviews all over the world. All that stuff is still out there and I don’t need social media to share it. People find it!
For example, I look at my blog stats from time to time. Not as much as I should, but I do look. People are finding blogs I wrote way back from 2012 when I first began writing. That tells me, I need to go back to those dates when I have a great chunk of time and add all the links to my books. But when you add a link to your blog, article, website, etc., on Facebook, you don’t get the promotion. I tried paid ads and it only got me a few more views than an unpaid promotion. Writer friends have told me the same thing.
Aside from that, social media is scary. Friends are getting hacked left and right. Someone hacked a friend’s page and put a ton of porn on it. She couldn’t use her page for a month, as she was put in “Facebook jail.” I have two other friends, whose political views are different than mine, but we get along great as adults should. (Yes, we can have political differences and get along. Go us!) Their accounts were taken away from them for a month because they didn’t subscribe to the views of Facebook owners (or whoever is in charge of assessing the accounts when someone “reports” them.) Yet, in the meantime, Facebook lets people create accounts to cat phish (which means prying on innocent people by creating a desirable profile in order to hook them in, have a phony online relationship, and get money from them). I had people try to do this to me. I was aware of it and entertained them just to see how far they would go. One fake claimed to be Adam Lambert. I went along with it until I cornered him and he had nothing left to go on. He came “clean.” He was a young man from Nigeria. He showed me his real pictures and wanted to maintain a “friendship.” No way! You can’t lie to someone and then expect to be friends with them. People are not fools.
So why do people get “punished” on Facebook for having opinions, whereas people who try to scam, hack, and start trouble let off the hook? It makes no sense, but it makes you wonder … why am I here?
When I first started my Instagram account, within days it was duplicated by a scammer who was adding all my friends. There is still a fake Instagram account of me that I can’t delete. I tried contacting Instagram (run by the same people as Facebook) and they did absolutely nothing.
And don’t get me started on all the “cat hate.” As an animal lover and cat adorer, I used to follow so many pages. At least once a day I saw a photo of cat or dog abuse. It was horrific to see. Not to mention all the staged videos of animal abuse, that is set up to make the rescuer appear as a “hero.” (I believe I wrote about this before in this blog).
If you’re on any type of spiritual journey, you are well aware that what you see is what you get. This is why I stopped watching news. You see negative, you attract negative. That’s the bottom line.
While many people complain about people putting their best foot forward on social media, to me, that’s the one part of it I DO like. I LOVE to see my friends and family succeed. Bring on the vacations, the success stories, the kids, the animals, the happiness.
But sadly, intertwined with all things greatness, is much sorrow. Almost every day, someone you know dies. Whether it’s a dear friend, a musician you loved, a pet who is a media star, or an old actor, if you’re of a certain age a feed can read like an obituary page. How much of that can a person take? Prior to social media, you may not have known someone died. For example, if you were a kid growing up in the 1960s or 1970s, you didn’t know Flipper or Lassie died until years later. It was sad, but because it wasn’t “in the moment” it didn’t bother you as much.
Aside from that, I truly think social media is ruining the way people think. People falsely assume that if they put something on social media everyone sees it. That’s not the case. I’ve missed many funerals I would have liked to attend, but didn’t know about because for whatever reason it didn’t come up in my feed. (Again, because you shared a link to the funeral and Facebook doesn’t support that. They don’t want you to see links from other sources; they want the paid ads).
Truth be told, it’s all BIG BUSINESS. Social medial wants you to believe you have to be on it because they want YOU to help THEIR BUSINESS grow! Facebook, Instagram, Linked In, and Twitter need you … You don’t need them!
They put paid advertisers into your feed, over and over again. These paid advertisers get thousands of viewings. They continue to pay Facebook. It’s a win/win for them. But what are YOU getting out of it? At least YouTube has the decency to disable the dislikes, so everyone stands a fighting chance. Unlike Facebook, they simply don’t care.
If you break away from the masses of social media, it’s like being an independent voter. You may not win the war, but you won a small battle. You won the bragging rights that you are a free thinker. You won the satisfaction that you are not a part of the nonsense. And with each account you delete, or forget the passwords to, you’re a closer step to freedom. It’s one less thing you have to deal with.
In my research, I’ve discovered that many other authors and writers have deleted their social media accounts. One writer said she was good at two things, writing and being on camera. So she got off everything except her blog and her YouTube channel. I resonated with that 100 percent. (Well, almost … I am photogenic, but not camera-genic. I hate the way I look on video, but I do it anyway because of my message).
So, here I am, with two internet things left — a blog and a YouTube channel.
And my amazing husband, who never liked or used any form of social media, said these beautiful words to me, “Welcome to my world of being off the grid.”
Yes, it’s a beautiful place to be!
If you liked this blog, feel free to buy me a kombucha: https://ko-fi.com/maryannechristianomistretta
Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.
Pre-sales for Maryanne’s 6th book, “So You Think You Know the Jersey Shore?” are now available: https://omni-pub.com/product/so-you-think-you-know-the-jersey-shore/
And while we are celebrating, here is a wonderful article about the book: https://www.mypaperonline.com/beautiful-ride-in-maryanne-christiano-mistrettas-front-row-seat-to-the-jersey-shore.html
“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary
“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You
Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/
Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.
And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos
Visit my business page, Pear Tree Enterprises, at: https://peartreeenterprises.wordpress.com/
Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta 