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Turning My Back on Age 55

Published August 18, 2019 by Maryanne

IMG_8479Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta

Today is my last day of age 55.

It’s been an incredible year. My fourth book was published and I wrote a fifth (which will be published later this year). I’ve helped two other people write their books, while I tried to help even more who have given up on the process. Yet I never give up.

It’s been another year of growth, spiritually and creatively. I joined Toastmasters to become a better speaker. I not only won a spot to present a workshop, “Be Your Own Hero,” but I’ve won “Best Speaker,” “Best Evaluator,” and “Best Table Topics.” I’ve continued to present speaking engagements in libraries.

I also started an anti-bullying You Tube channel. And blogging, lots of it for major companies and small businesses.

I’ve loved hard; and I’ve lost hard. Last summer my husband and I took in a beautiful feral cat, Bennie, who chose us to live with during the final months of his short three years. We gave him a happy last few months, then he was put down due to brain cancer. We’ve also lost some friends who died way too young. As well as some high profiles like Shakti Gawain, who has been inspiring me since I found her book in the late 1980s, “Creative Visualization.”

As always, it’s been a year of much fun. Friends, concerts, trips, and lots of laughter. And yet, another cat we adopted back in April–Sammy, with the full name, Samuel Keane Clemens.

I end the year in good health, for which I never take for granted. Young people still tell me, “You look so young” when I share my real age, for which I am always proud of. Many do not make it to 55, so I am so grateful for each day on this planet, and thank the energy we call God or the Universe.

It’s a great life and I’ve manifested it; being in harmony with the universe. Being myself. Being YOUnique. God bless everyone who is a part of my own little world.

Bring on year number 56! I am ready!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, ghost writing, writing, and motivational speaking engagements. She is the author of the following books :

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: Ten Ways to Become Your Own Hero” will be available October 2019. To pre-order, go here: https://kicamprojects.com/shop/be-extraordinary/

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261

Overnight Success Is Not a Real Thing

Published June 26, 2019 by Maryanne

Monkey AroundIs it business or monkey business? 

During my years as a journalist, people contacted me to publicize themselves. (Or just for a great story in general). It was a dream come true writing about bands (both famous and up and coming). I shared the story many times about how I interviewed The Jonas Brothers before they were a household name.  Those years were an amazing run in my life.

Then I started getting into writing books. And public speaking.

All of a sudden, publicists were coming out of the woodwork wanting to make me a “star.” Five years later, none of them impressed me.

Finding a good manager/publicist is like figuring out who to give your virginity too. It may take a long time. It may not happen at all. But whatever the case, don’t just give money to anyone.

I didn’t settle for love and ended up with a very happy marriage. So, why should I settle for a publicist/manager? In the end, I want it all — including a dream publicist/manager!

My goal in finding one would be:

  1. Someone who doesn’t lead with money. When someone (like the last scam artist) suggested that I create a Go Fund Me page in order to use her $7K per month services, I ripped her. I told her, if I was interested, I’d pay CASH in PAYPAL. And that Go Fund Me pages are to support those in real need, like people with cancer or hurt animals … Not publicists. Her plea of desperation for money was a major red flag. She spoke about money before she spoke about what she could do for me. Our phone consult lasted a mere five minutes while she put me on hold several times to talk to her friends at the restaurant. How can you ask for money when you barely spoke to someone? She didn’t even purchase one of my books, so how could she promote me? SCAM ARTIST ALERT! Another one said he could get me to warm up for Tony Robbins if I paid him $50K. He said Tony Robbins always wants him to be his opening motivational speaker act, but he’s too busy with his own stuff. I researched, and asked around. Nothing told me there was any truth in this man working with Tony Robbins.
  2. Someone who believes in me. Several years ago I exhausted myself interviewing potential managers. During one interview, a retired guy said, “Are you any good?” I ended the interview quickly. Why? Because he didn’t do his homework before the interview. If he read my newsletters and saw that I was consistently working for myself since 2009, he’d KNOW I was good. To me, being at the top and not lasting isn’t a good thing. But being somewhere in the middle and having longevity IS! I interviewed a woman who was putting me down while wanting the job. It reminded me of the “Sex and the City” movie when Carrie Bradshaw is interviewing potential assistants and asks, “So, why do you want this job?” It’s mind-blowing that people would want to work for you, but don’t get you. It makes no sense and is sure to go nowhere fast.
  3. Someone with a great track record. Yes, I know a few people like this. They are so good they don’t have time to work with me — yet! I say YET in high hopes that someday these women/men may have a window of opportunity for me. This could be another pipe dream–kind of like how some women wait for their dream guy to divorce his beautiful wife. But when you have in mind something special, it will manifest. It always does. Just don’t force it.

The thing is, when it comes to publicity, just like anything else that is good, stable, and successful, I say, do not rush your muse. Cherish your precious creative talents like you would your body and soul. Do not give them up to just anybody.

What you have is a GIFT from God and the Universe. Slow and steady is the key. Overnight success is not a real thing.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, ghost writing, writing, and motivational speaking engagements. She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: Ten Ways to Become Your Own Hero” will be available October 2019. To pre-order, go here: https://kicamprojects.com/shop/be-extraordinary/

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your copy, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261

 

Anti-Bullying Book “I Don’t Want to Be Like You” Now Available on Audiobooks!

Published June 21, 2019 by Maryanne

BookCoverPreview Mistretta

I am ecstatic that my book “I Don’t Want to Be Like You” published by Higher Ground Books & Media, is now available on AUDIO! (https://www.audible.com/pd/I-Dont-Want-to-Be-Like-You-Audiobook/B07TB2VKWY?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-155390&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_155390_rh_us)

Sarah Staton is the voice who made my story come to life!

My book takes place growing up in the 1970s when I was bullied in both grade school and high school. And I’m sad to say, that even in this day and age bullying continues. Children are committing suicide because of assholes who have not yet evolved. Adults are secretly emailing me, “Write something about bullying in the workplace.”

It makes me so angry that 50 years later, it’s not getting better but worse.

Bullies target those who are unique; those who speak up for themselves; those who are shy; those who are creative; those who are very smart and think out of the box; those who don’t follow the crowd; and those who are very good looking. If you recognize yourself in any of those words, you most likely were a target for a bully. Because victims are often so smart and creative, they also carry around insecurities. Smart and creative people never feel good enough. You know that old saying, a genius never sees himself as one. Bullies pick up on this and attack.

The good news is, there is no reason at all to feel shame. It’s not you, it’s them. Bullies are the ones who feel hurt, sad, unloved, ugly, dumb, so they target others to make themselves feel big. Bullies are also masters at gas lighting (making others think THEY are the ones who are crazy). It’s a manipulative way for a bully to “win.”

Truth be told, all bullies are losers. If you can’t come from a place of love, you’ll never evolve. And isn’t evolution the ultimate goal? 

I recently sent out a call for speaking engagements. I let everyone know I am READY to speak out against bullying — in libraries, schools, corporations — and I will travel.

One of the responses I received was that bullying isn’t going away.

I did not know how to answer that. From what I wrote above, you may think I agree that it’s not going away. But hear me out, I now believe differently.

I was speaking to someone in a health food store earlier today. This man asked me if I was a vegan.

I said, “No, but I eat vegan for several days at a time.” I further explained I was a vegetarian/vegan for 28 years, from ages 23 to 51. Then I started eating meat (grass-fed only, and some chicken — no pork or veal!) to get my health in order. (I went from having low blood sugar, thyroid issues, low white blood cell count, very low blood pressure/borderline anemic as a vegetarian to a person of perfect health with some meat back in my body!)

After hearing my story, my new vegan friend thanked me for being one of the leaders in the movement back in the day when it was HARD. Now it’s easy! There are more vegans than ever and you can get vegan food anywhere. But in 1986, I was considered a “weirdo” for not eating meat.

What does this have to do with bullying, you may ask? 

You see, over 30 years ago, people didn’t get vegetarians. But we’ve evolved. Now we get it. And people are health conscious and accepting. The smarter ones are getting along in harmony. THIS can happen with bullying too!

At age 55, I see myself having at least another good 30 years on this planet, in this body I rented. In the year 2049, I TRULY BELIEVE, bullying will be on its way to extinction. We will evolve and change the world. Bullies will be the new neanderthals … so over. People who love will no longer be the weirdos. They will be the WINNERS! The meek will surely inherit the earth.

I CAN’T WAIT!

In the meantime, please purchase my book or audio book, it may save your child’s life when he or she hears about how I was bullied, but grew up to be successful and happy!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, ghost writing, writing, and motivational speaking engagements. She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: Ten Ways to Become Your Own Hero” will be available October 2019. To pre-order, go here: https://kicamprojects.com/shop/be-extraordinary/

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your copy, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261

 

What I Like About You!

Published May 20, 2015 by Maryanne

me and my car

What I Like About YOU!

I “un-followed” quite a few blogs because the stuff I REALLY like was getting lost in the shuffle during my “window” of WordPress reading. I can’t read everything and I’m not going to press “like” unless I really LIKE something. I’m here as a creative hobby, not a contest to get the most followers.

So I guess this is kind of like awards, but I don’t like the awards thing, so, it’s more of a shout out to greatness! Here’s a list of the things I like reading most on WordPress.

1. Deep philosophy. Whether it’s satanism or Christianity or paganism, I like something extremely intense and moving that sucks me in and educates me. Devil’s Advocates (https://cassiejourney.wordpress.com/) is electrifying! And a big shout out to HocusPocus13 (https://hocuspocus13.wordpress.com/) where every day there is something new and refreshing in the magic world. And I can’t forget about Christianity. I love Mustard Seed Budget because like myself, they are open-minded, positive, non-preachy Christians (https://mustardseedbudget.wordpress.com/)  I’m always pleasantly shocked to see that they “like” some of my more controversial posts. THAT is so cool and for that I’ll follow them forever!

2. New Jersey related. Except for certain areas, I love all my state has to offer, so I’ll follow all New Jersey blogs. Like Photo Geek, a kick-ass photographer from New Jersey who writes about bands I love too: (http://photogeek22.com/)

3. Animals. Not much is better than an animal lover! Rachel Mankowitz (https://rachelmankowitz.wordpress.com/) writes about adventures of her dogs Butterfly and Cricket. I’ve been following her cute blog a few years now. She has over 5000 followers and is a fabulous writer!

4. Nostalgia/Vintage. Anything from the 20th century, I just love! Andrew’s “Nostalgia and Now” (https://nostalgia049.wordpress.com/) is one of my favorite blogs on WordPress. And we’re friends via email too! Andrew is one of the nicest people I’ve ever “met” in my life. I am honored to know him.

5. Pro-Women. Because nothing is more enticing than a strong woman who supports other women! That’s why I don’t want to miss one post from “Inside the Life of Moi” (https://insidethelifeofmoi.wordpress.com/)

6. Health. REAL Health. Not something a hospital dietician would write. More like paleo living/lifestyles, bio-dynamic, bio-hacking, etc. That is why I LOVE “Simple Living Over 50” (http://simplelivingover50.com/) this dude totally gets it!

7. Always Something Different. I never know what to expect from “Just Keep Brains” (http://justkeepbrains.com/) from super cool styles to unique ways to decorate your bathroom mirrors. I love blogs that aren’t particularly themed and always have something great to offer.

Other interests of mine include: happy marriages, cruelty free and hypoallergenic make-up, foodies, road trips, cats, love, inspiration, and anything over 50.

Cult Blogger

Published February 24, 2013 by Maryanne

DJMareIdol3

My blog … it’s not for everyone

Why do I blog?

I started this blog a year ago as a creative outlet to write about things I like, mostly positive and inspirational because that’s how I am. But I also like to share about my life because writing for an audience, I write better than what I write in my private diaries. So, this blog is a wonderful document of my life.

Also, being a professional writer since 1995, even though I choose the topics I get paid for writing and I just ADORE writing as a profession, I do have a quote about journalism:

“It’s journalism, not creative writing. You’re writing a format. It’s like being in a cover band.”

— Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta

So I blog!

Now, not wanting to go by formats, I mentioned before that I’m not a “tit-for-tat” blogger. I don’t spend time “liking” every blogger that likes me. I find it to be phoney and that’s not my personality.

I am not in this as a popularity contest, or to get a million followers.

I am in this to, as I said earlier, document my life and any friends I make in the meantime is a beautiful bonus.

That said, I have to point out that I stop following blogs if I’m not connecting with a fellow blogger.

For instance, if I make a sincere comment to a fellow blogger and they don’t respond; if I email a fellow blogger and they can’t be bothered answering; if I’m always reading someone’s blog and I never hear from them or if they are just pressing “like” all the time in my blog without commenting.

There are so many great blogs out there and so many great people, I like to spend my time with the BEST. Those with the best personalities, those with the best insights and those that make me laugh and make me think of them during the day.

No, I’m not making blogging like “American Idol” by making “cuts” (as someone once said to me when I made Face Book cuts years ago). It’s just that time is precious and limited. So, let’s be honest. I don’t have time to read hundreds of blogs every day and I’m not going to be phoney and press “like, like, like” if I just skimmed through something and didn’t look at it.

That said, I highly doubt I’ll follow a blog that has several hundred followers already, especially when blogs with fewer readerships are even better!

So many times, early on, I’d read “Freshly Pressed” and be like, “What did I read that for? Well, that was a boring waste of time.” When someone that has maybe 50 followers I’m like, “WOW, this person should be known worldwide — this is fantastic!”

I think my blog is pretty versatile if I do say so myself. It offers music, spirituality, fun, animals and health. But if my blog is kept at cult status because I’m not playing  the game of re-blogging others, liking everything, interviewing other bloggers and giving out awards — SO BE IT!

What the hell — my art was once called “punk art,” so keeping it real, I don’t mind being a cult blogger. In fact, I’m quite enjoying my cult status.

Get Ready for Interviews!

Published November 8, 2012 by Maryanne

 

Me conducting interview for article over the summer

Not too long ago I read an inspiring blog about not making every blog about yourself, but interviewing others. I thought it was a fantastic idea, but didn’t know if my readership was large enough yet.

I checked out my stats and I actually have more readers/followers than I thought, so I figure this is an appropriate time to start interviewing other people.

Interviewing has always been my favorite part of journalism. I guess you can say I’m nosy by nature, which is a good thing in my opinion and that’s why I make a damn good journalist. People always open up to me, revealing secretive things. I always have to ask, “Are you sure this is ON THE RECORD?”

In this day and age too many people are self-centered and don’t show enough interest in others. I miss the 1980s and 1990s when people asked others questions that were none of their business.  So, I’ve decided to bring “nosy” back with some kick ass, inspiring, thought-provoking interviews!

I am excited to say I have two very talented people already lined up for near future interviews — one photographer and one screen writer!

STAY TUNED and watch me do what I do best!

The Blogosphere Tit for Tat

Published September 27, 2012 by Maryanne

Years ago I was a huge fan of Live Journal. I met friends there who became friends in real life. It was super. But one thing I noticed, that I didn’t care for was that I only heard from certain people when I commented on their Live Journal pages.

After eight months of blogging on Word Press, I’m noticing a similar trend, and I have to say, I ain’t digging it.

As writers/bloggers, let’s be a little bit more honest with each other. I know we’re all busy, so read what you really enjoy, press “like” if you really liked what I wrote — not because I recently liked something of yours.

Honest, it won’t hurt my feelings.

When I first joined WordPress and started blogging, while I was willing to make friends and be supportive of other bloggers. I also decided that I wanted to keep it real as well. I wasn’t going to eat all my time up reading every single blog I subscribed to — even though I subscribe to a ton of them that I find interesting. And if someone didn’t like my blog, but I liked theirs, who cares … I’d still read theirs if I found it interesting. I have zero ego!

All the blogs I subscribe to come to my email box. I either read or delete according to my amount of free time, or whether the first few sentences are enticing to me — but most of the time I don’t even get that far because I’m so busy and I can always catch up later — or not. The bottom line is, it’s no biggie and shouldn’t be.

Admittedly, I do have a few favorites that I read every single one — but, please, I do not want any of you to feel like you have to read my blog in return.

I’d rather have less “likes” but have them be genuine. And nothing says genuine more than a comment (which is why I absolutely adore the people who read that don’t have blogs themselves and are following via email — now that is truly someone who feels I’m a good read!)

And for those of you I’ve become friends with, I like you no matter what. Maybe something you are writing about doesn’t particularly resonate with me, or I don’t have time to read it, so I may pass over it this time around. But if we’re friends for a long time and you’re creating for a long time, when I do press “like” again — it will be that more meaningful, no?

That said, happy blogging, happy reading, and happy “liking” (if you mean it!)