bullying in the workplace

All posts tagged bullying in the workplace

Just Because I Want Respect, Doesn’t Mean I’m Not Tough

Published June 19, 2022 by Maryanne
Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta, tough enough!

Just the other day, in a business situation, I was told I had to be more “tough” because I didn’t want to deal with a woman who was disrespecting me by screaming at me like I was an animal. I thought she’d have a heart attack right on the spot. Being a health freak, I kept my cool. And then discussed it with a higher up. Yet, she was defended, while I was told to toughen up.

No, I don’t need to learn to be tough. This woman needs to learn how to control her temper.

There nothing is wrong with defending yourself. But people who have problems controlling their temper go to anger management classes. Or they should.

We’re living in a sad world of “don’t take it personally” where people can do whatever they please and get excused for it. It’s not right. People need to be kind to each other and treat each other with respect.

By me being offended by rudeness, it doesn’t mean that I’m not tough. In fact, I am tougher, and cooler, than most people and here is why…

  1. I once jumped off a 100 foot bridge into the Delaware and was almost arrested with two other guys. The cop gave one of the guys the ticket to cover for all three of us. It was a dangerous thing to do. This was in the late 1980s, before the movie “Jackass” was famous. I am the original Jackass.
  2. I once kicked a guy and he fell backwards on an escalator because he grabbed my ass. He yelled at me, “What did I do?!” I said, “You KNOW what you did.” He said, “But you didn’t have to kick me!” I said, “Yes I did.” When I got to the top of the escalator, a bunch of women cheered for me.
  3. One time I was having lunch, alone, in a pizza parlor. I was in my late 20s. A guy was harassing me. He wanted to talk to me, but I wanted to read while I ate. But the jerk wouldn’t take no for an answer. I finally kicked him in the leg. He yelled at me and left. The owner of the place said to me, “All women should be like you. I wish my daughters were like you.” Two days later I went to a bank nearby. One of the women said to me, “You are a hero. He used to come in this bank and bother all the women. We heard about what you did, and he doesn’t bother us anymore!”

These are just a few examples of how life doesn’t scare me and how I do defend myself. However, in a business situation, I think people should be more professional and kind to each other. If one is bullying another, my opinion is that they should be suspended from work for a few days — not have it chalked up to the victim needing to toughen up. That’s just dumb.

What happens if the victim toughens up? Then you have not one, but TWO fools flying off the handle. DUH!

If you can’t get the support you need in a business situation, the best way to deal with a work bully is to ignore them altogether. And let the Universe take care of them. They will get theirs.

I look back at people who have harassed me for no reason at all and really bad stuff happened to them. One guy ended up in jail just a month after making my life a living hell (the jail thing was nothing to do with me, this bully just picked on the wrong one and got his dues!) Another, a tree fell on his car and destroyed it. And someone else, a guy she was crazy about broke up with her. These bullies didn’t get hurt or die, but points were made. You put out bad energy towards someone who does not deserve it; it comes back tenfold. Simple as that.

Life is like the movies. The good girl always wins! (While holding her head high!)

If you liked this blog, feel free to buy me a kombucha: https://ko-fi.com/maryannechristianomistretta

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

Why Do Weak People Call Others “Weak”?

Published November 17, 2017 by Maryanne

Delicate

I am a sensitive person — and proud of it.

My sensitivity makes me a caring, creative, loyal, passionate, hard-working person. When I wake up in the morning, I look in the mirror and can honestly say, “I like me.” Not to say I’m perfect. I made dumb mistakes, but will be the first to say when I’m wrong.

Then there are the times when I’m right. And being right, I have to stand up for myself.

Defending yourself — and your rights — is something a person with strong character does. Not everyone can do that. People who speak up are those who aim for a better place in life. They are dreamers who, at best, want a better world, and at the very least, strive for respect in their own little corner of the world.

That said, when someone says you are “delicate” because you don’t want to be treated like a dishrag, DO call them on their bullshit. It doesn’t make sense that someone can be downright nasty, but then if you give them a taste of their own medicine (and in a polite way, as most sensitive people do — unless they are pushed to the limit; and everyone has their limits) then they get all defensive. Is that the pot calling the kettle black? Yes!

Will “they” ever get it? Probably not.

Some people are just conditioned to blame — or bully — others for what they lack. It’s Real Life 101. The honest reason for this is because they are too lazy to work on themselves. With lack of elevation, weak minds do what they do best: manipulate, flock to a clique, lie about others to get their way, and if you don’t go with their program they will call you names like “delicate.” Meanwhile, they are the real fragile ones because they lack the knowledge (and desire) to become grown-ups. They live in a fantasy world — a world where they are always right. Their pride is pseudo. They wear masks to disguise their true fear.

When confronted with such types, the best thing any sane person could do is get away from them because you’ll never win. You could kill them with kindness, but that only goes so far. Name calling bullies and sensitive people will never mix well because sensitive people are the real movers and shakers of the world, while bullies are limited to being big fish in very small ponds. Don’t believe me? Just Google the famous person you admire most. Chances are they will admit to being bullied for being different or shy or thinking out of the box.

Have you been told you’re “too sensitive”? If so, be proud to carry that flag. It means you’ll go far in life! Continue to be sensitive; and continue to fight for your right to do so. That is true courage. And it’s far from being “weak” or “delicate.”

Maryanne Christiano Mistretta is the author of “On the Guest List: Adventures of a Music Journalist” a book about her struggles with being bullied. It’s available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Guest-List-Adventures-Music-Journalist/dp/162903908X

OR email Maryanne directly for a cheaper, autographed copy: maryannechristiano@gmail.com