Only Creeps Say “karen”

Photo by Robert Zunikoff, courtesy of Unsplash

If you Google what the slang term “karen” means, there’s just so much about it and so many ways to analyze it, and misuse what it originally meant. In a nutshell, nowadays, it’s any middle-aged white woman who complains to a manager because she feels entitled. We’ve gotten to that point where the term is so misused (like the words “narcissism” and “literally”) it’s derogatorily tossed at ANY woman who complains.  It’s a stupid word that translates to “Shut the fuck up — WOMAN!” It is downright nasty — and creepy! And merely another way loser men try to belittle women; taking us back to the 1800s. Way to go, assholes!

I get it, you think you’re such a big deal sticking up for a worker who doesn’t do his/her job right? Well, let me ask you, why should a person who works in service be cuddled like a little lamb? If you are hired to do a job of service your job is to do it with a smile on your face. Don’t take your shit out on customers!

This is where society has gone wrong — big time. Long gone is the saying, “The customer is always right.” We’re living in times where it’s frustrating to even call on a manager because no one has the balls to train their employees correctly. People of service can do whatever the hell they want — and get away with it. They will lie and so will the manager in order to not look bad. No one wants to man up and be responsible for screwing up.

That is bad news. You can’t even say it’s “bad business” because no one cares. From the largest corporation down to small businesses, everyone has to be right. All. The. Time.

And you have the self-righteous stander-bys  chiming in, “Calm down KAREN” which makes the situation no better. Doing that makes you a BULLY! Why don’t YOU calm down and mind your own business? No, man’s gotta be a “hero” — but the “hero” has it all wrong. Making someone feel small just because she spoke up for herself makes you a ZERO! And a CREEP!  In fact, anyone who jumps on the “karen” bandwagon is a CREEP and here’s why:

• Mentally stable people don’t call names. If there’s a problem, they talk to each other like adults.
• Mentally stable people don’t randomly attack others. They mind their own business.
• Good service is a part of the job. A worker is representing a company. When you go to an establishment, you deserve good service. No one should be called names for calling a manager if service is not up to par. In fact, going to management will help the establishment develop and grow. You learn from mistakes, so put on your big boy pants and LEARN!
• Using a sexist/ageist term in general means you are a loser. Sexism and ageism is a thing. Educate yourself.
• Women should not be silenced. Simple as that.

So, you have a choice. Do you want to continue acting like a big baby and calling others names? Or do you want to up your game and learn that it’s not cool to judge people?

And, to the ladies, I say, continue to stick up for yourself if you’re being treated poorly. Don’t let men try to silence and shame you by name-calling. They are fools. You know who you are!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, ghost writing, writing. She is also available for book signings and motivational speaking engagements. In addition to Love Cats, she is the author of the following books :

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: Love Cats

Visit Maryanne’s You Tube Channel here: Be YOUnique

 

Being Authentic… to Ourselves and Each Other

Being Authentic: A Memoir by Morhaf Al Achkar, MD, PhD

Review by Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta

While many people are complaining about being cooped up during the pandemic, I’m secretly rejoicing because I’ve been doing what I didn’t have much time for before—READING! Since the mid-March lockdown, I’ve read six books, all special in their own right.

Prior to writing this review, I questioned myself… Is it weird to say I can relate to a man who was born in Syria, two years after I graduated high school? A man who became both an MD and a PhD–whereas I struggled just to get my diploma?

First, I took the safe route and wrote the blog as a regular book review. However, after a re-read, my review appeared dull and stale. This author deserves so much more. After he exposed his deep feelings for all to read, I promised myself I should do the same. I do not see that as narcissistic, but rather compassionate. In this review I want people to see me as a person who can find something in common with almost anyone—male/female, young/older, rich/middle class/poor, black/white/mixed. Because this is what the world needs right now, to focus on what we have in common, rather than what sets us apart. (And, honestly, I’ve been quiet about politics for too long, so read on!)

Author, Morhaf Al Alchar, MD, PhD, and faithful companion, Leo! 

Morhaf Al Achkar has not reached his 40^th birthday, yet he ponders death.

I question: Why is he thinking about this now? Perhaps because of his struggle with both Crohn’s disease and a stage four lung cancer; perhaps because he dealt with the devastating loss of his own mother at a young age; or perhaps because we are in the midst a pandemic, all of us facing a virus that has no cure yet. And so many people are at each other’s throats, making it political.

In his memoir, Dr. Achkar strives to be authentic—his true self. And that he is. His story is direct as he gets right to the point with no apologies. And he is vulnerable. There is absolutely no pretense. You do not feel like you are reading a book written by a doctor, with both an MD and a PhD. Instead, you are chatting with a brand new friend.

Growing up in Syria, in a family of nine children, Morhaf often locked himself in a room reading books. He was labeled the “philosopher of his family” by his father. Early on, one of his major struggles was living in a culture “with hypertrophied masculinity.” Men boasting of foolish things like beatings or shootings was the norm. There were also bullies and schoolteachers who were abusive. Wise beyond his years, Morhaf made sense of it all and did not let any of this hinder his growth as a human being. As a person who was also bullied, I relate to this.

Once I began sharing my story to others, I no longer felt shame, but rather a big relief—even empowered! When I read about other people being bullied, it’s a soft spot for me. I can’t help but get a lump in my throat. Then I immediately switch my brain to the good parts of one’s life; their triumphs!

The saving grace in this picture is Morhaf’s mother, a warm, trusting woman, but one of authority and one who greatly valued education. Reading about how his mom pushed Morhaf to take the first steps on the dance floor reminded me of my grandmother.

Grandma practically raised me since my parents were divorced and neither were around much. I think about a family reunion we had when I was about 12. My sister, cousins and I danced to the hired band. When the reunion came to an end, my grandmother encouraged me to “talk to them.” I was shy, but wanted to make Grandma happy, so with my older cousin, we went up to the stage and asked the musicians for their autographs. A parent or grandparent encouraging the kids to dance or talk to someone at a party is a great move to get a kid out of their shy shell.

Another way I relate to Morhaf is not being satisfied with religion and rituals. As a Muslim he reflects on his faith after his mother passes. I was raised without religion, so I had nothing to go by except the standards Catholic holidays that Italian families practiced. When I was 24, I met an older Filipino gentleman who became my mentor. Together we studied religions and philosophies from all over the world.

Remaining open-minded until I met some Christian friends, I decided to give Christianity a chance. But then after my grandmother died, I lost faith, the same way Morhaf felt his faith was faltering after his mother died.

I stopped going to church and celebrating any holidays that had to do with Jesus. When I returned to faith, I took it all with a grain of salt, saving the positive and discarding what seemed overbearing. I now believe in Jesus, but also Buddha, God, and The Universe.

Perhaps this is something people of all faiths go through, but not many admit. So once again, as I’m reading the book, I am grateful to Morhaf for his honesty.

Amongst his great successes, he has had his shares of disappointments too. His passion in activism inspired was an option to leave his family, but after failing a commission-based job, he returned home.

Some of the best times seem to be spent in America. At first, Morhaf lived in Columbus, Ohio with his sister and continued to study. He traveled extensively throughout the USA. In addition to his studies, he had fun adventures that young people experience like dancing, hookah nights, playing cards, consuming cheap drinks, and adopting a canine companion named Leo.

Sadly, dating was an issue, especially in Indiana, where he lived and where many women were prejudiced to his color and didn’t think twice about making racist remarks. It felt terrible to read this. I am sorry that many USA women put a bad taste in one’s mouth, but I want people from other countries to know we are not all that way.

I live in NJ, a democratic state where we are open-minded to making friends of all races and colors—without judgement. I know behind my back my conservative friends and family refer to me as a “Libtard.” It’s wrong and very hurtful.

As a spiritual person, I refuse to retaliate with words and placing derogatory memes on Facebook. Instead I pray for them. And I pray for our president, who I do not care for.

During the month Donald Trump was elected president, Dr. Morhaf was diagnosed with cancer. As a Syrian immigrant he felt affected by the ban on Muslims, fearing he would not be able to say goodbye to his family. He wrote a letter to speak of his struggles. It was published in a Huffington Post blog, entitled “Dear Mr. Trump, You Are Cancer and I Only Live If You Shrink!” The letter explained what it was like to live with what he had then perceived as a terminal illness and as a Syrian immigrant affected by the ban on Muslims. After writing the letter, he felt empowered and liberated him to engage with the Syrian struggle.

I suppose many have friends who have immigrated to the United States and have been affected by Trump’s stance. It is absolutely heartbreaking seeing families being broken up. I know one personally, and will leave it at that to protect their privacy.

Aside from the prejudice Morhaf experienced from American women, he has decided to stay single because he doesn’t want to be a burden to someone should his health fail. I seriously hope he changes his mind because true love is mending.

I’ve shared the story many times and am happy to share it again. When I first began dating my husband I was going to many doctors because I never felt right. A few doctors feared I had cancer. After many ultra-sounds, CAT scans, and countless opinions nothing was found. Seven months after dating my husband, I had one final test that showed I was cancer-free and perfectly healthy! A week later I felt better than I did my entire life! Having a supportive loving person by my side healed me. I believe that!

So, you can see why I’ve enjoyed “Being Authentic” so much. There’s enough to relate to, but also much to learn. And, that, is what a good book should be!

Morhaf’s reflections on life in his later years, while he is now, fortunately, in stable health, we see that he is a true humanitarian and invites others to be as authentic as he is. This is what I wanted from my book, “I Don’t Want to Be Like You.” I want others to share their stories without feeling disgrace. The troubled times are what got you to where you are today. Always remember that.

When we look deep inside ourselves, and share our notions in writing, the reader gets a peek at our true soul. A reader may not “get it” entirely, but the more open an author is, the more we can learn about each other; and love each other. After all, deep down we are more alike than different. This is a book everyone can learn from. And Morhaf will be remembered for writing it.

To purchase “Being Authentic” (and have a sneak peek inside the book) please click on this link: Being Authentic

Follow Morhaf Al Alchar on Twitter at: https://twitter.com/morhafalachkar

Being Authentic book cover

 

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, ghost writing, writing. She is also available for book signings and motivational speaking engagements. She is the author of the following books :

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit: https://www.amazon.com/Be-Extra-Ordinary-Ways-Become/dp/1733546227

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261

 

Giving Goals

Photo by Mistretta

People have been busy writing down their goals for 2019, which is great. Then it dawned on me, it would be awesome to have giving goals as well.

There are three ways to give: money, time, and sharing (in other words, being vulnerable). Below are ways to up the ante for all of them!

1. Money. Even if you’re on a strict budget, money is the easiest way to give. You can put a dollar in a veteran’s can and get a free poppy. For some, it’s the best we can do, but I think in our hearts we always want to do more. In my younger days I know I did. When the basket went around in church and I was only able to spare a few dollars, I secretly longed for the day I could throw in a $20 bill or more. Then that day happened! My next goal was for the Go Fund Me pages. I wanted to give more than $50. And that happened too. As we earn more, we can focus more on giving to others. It’s great to share!
2. Time. Time is a very precious thing to give someone because life is short. You hear so many stories about children who have had successful parents that were never around. This is a lesson to balance your time so you can be more giving to people you love. While being spontaneous is wonderful, it’s also important to balance your day so you can be able to balance your time. Since I work for myself, at home, I have the luxury of making my own hours. That said, there’s a time I plan to shut down and devote to my husband and cats. Of course I also like to donate my time to good causes, and fun stuff. But always remember, to take time for yourself because if you’re not healthy and happy, you won’t be able to make others happy. Then when you feel optimal, you can give time in so many ways–volunteering, listening, offering your help, surprising someone by doing something nice unexpectedly. The list goes on and on! With little money to spare, you can always be creative with your time. Or even if you have a lot of money, perhaps someone would appreciate your time more? It’s something to think about.
3. Sharing/Being Vulnerable. Sharing and being vulnerable is the biggest and best way to give, in my humble opinion. Time and money are the easy way out because ego isn’t involved. But when you take the time to pour your heart out to someone who desperately needs to know he or she is not alone, that is GOLD! Many people are afraid to share because of their ego. They want to put on a facade that they are perfect. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, the most inspiring people are the ones who are so free and open about sharing. They have truly made the world a better place. By “sharing” I don’t mean venting. I mean digging deep inside, no longer feeling the shame, and going with your heart and gut that by sharing something bad that happened to you, you are going to make another person feel not so alone! How great is that?! It takes a strong person to say, “Screw it, I’m going to try to help someone else. I don’t care if I am judged!” Anyone who has gone that route should be super proud of themselves. Put aside any shame you are feeling, because it’s not your fault that something bad happened to you if some loser took advantage of you. Because it’s a horrible person who should feel the shame–not YOU! So if you want to be a better friend, or a better person in general, make a point to get vulnerable. It’s the greatest way to give! You never know who you may help!

What do you think? What are your giving goals for 2019?

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is a motivational speaker and the author of “I Don’t Want to Be Like You” which addresses her experiences with being bullied. You can order the book from Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261

Her next book “BeExtraordinary” will be published in October 2019 by KiCam. To pre-order or visit the landing page, go here: https://kicamprojects.com/shop/be-extraordinary/

To book Maryanne for a speaking engagement, contact her at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com

Rooting for a 5th Grader Who is Being Bullied!

Signing a copy of my latest book “I Don’t Want to Be Like You” for a 5th grader who is being bullied in school. It’s tragic what many children go through. No child should have to deal with it. Bullying is not cool and at times barbaric. “I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. I share my experiences with being bullied in grade and high schools; and how I became empowered because of it and lived my happier ever after. I say to children being bullied, “Do not give up hope on yourselves. It DOES get better. And YOU can make a difference by continuing to be yourself!”

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is published traditionally by Higher Ground and available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is available for speaking engagements throughout the USA and overseas. Email for pricing and dates: maryannechristiano@gmail.com

I Don’t Want to Be Like You

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” 

I’m ecstatic to say my fourth book is now available! (See links below, and it will soon be in Barnes & Noble stores). “I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is my memoir about growing up, dealing with bullying in the 1970s.

And with this, I want to add some wise words from my sister, who is a mom:

“Congratulations on the book. I, myself also experienced bullying. Unfortunately, today parents still turn a blind eye. So let me send out compliments to St. Anne and Fair Lawn high school (New Jersey schools). Both excellent in having a no tolerance motto for bullies. I raised my son to have compassion to ALL people. He would never hurt or bully anyone! As a parent, please remember those red flags. Believe me, you will notice if you pay attention. Burning children, shooting drugs, and fire crackers into an innocent pet, does not just happen overnight. I’m begging parent to wake up. Protect your children while you can they will only get worse. No tolerance for bullying! You must know your kids.” — Kim Cagiao

HGBM Store:  https://highergroundbooksandmedia.com/product/i-dont-want-to-be-like-you

Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1536446696&sr=8-2&keywords=maryanne+christiano+mistretta

Kindle:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07H6H4CY1/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1536446756&sr=8-1&keywords=maryanne+christiano+mistretta+kindle

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is an anti-bullying motivational speaker. Contact her at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com 

 

Supermarket Bullying Should Be Treated as a Crime!

Yesterday should have been a nice day. In the afternoon I went to a Buddhist meditation, and at night my husband was taking me out to dinner. In-between I had to pick up a few items at Trader Joe’s. My husband forewarned me, “This is Thanksgiving week and it’s going to be mobbed.”

Crowds never bothered me. I’ve been going to concerts since I was a teenager. As a young punk rocker, I got banged, pushed against the stage, and ended up with battle scars. It was all part of the fun.

But shopping in a grocery store, as a middle-aged woman, should not be punk rock. It should be a pleasant experience. From my 30s onward, I had so many fights with inconsiderate, ignorant people who push their cart into you, without saying, “Excuse me” or even a mere “I’m sorry.”

Listen bitches — for once and for all,  I have every right to shop in a supermarket — even a crowded one. You are no better than me, or anyone else. Just because I’m a nice, smiling person (some say “too nice”) it shouldn’t mean that I am a target for assholes. Put on your big girl pants and learn to have manners — and patience! Wait your fucking turn. Am I too slow for you? I’m sorry, but I READ labels. I want to know my produce is local and/or organic. It’s imperative that I know how much sugar and carbs are in my frozen meals. Diabetes runs in my family and I have to be careful. If that’s not enough to give you an ounce of compassion, you’re a real loser!

I’ve boycotted places like Whole Foods, and now Trader Joe’s, for not having proper security in their stores. And I will continue to do so until I feel SAFE shopping in these places again.

Yesterday I was pushed TWICE at the Trader Joe’s in Millburn, New Jersey. Once by a woman much younger; and once by a woman much older.

Let me ask you, ladies (make that “ladies?” with a question mark because being so damn rude doesn’t give you the title of “lady” — you’re more like a beast! In fact, the Pit bulls next store at the Pet Smart were way better behaved than both of you!) … what makes you so much better than me that gives you the “right” to push me out of your way? HUH?

I’d love an answer, but I’m sure most of the people reading this are polite people because assholes never seek things to read that would make them a better person. Because if they did, the world would be a better place to live in. And it’s not.

Bullying over food? Imagine that.

You’re shopping in a middle to way-upper class area. There is enough food for everyone. Oh, I forget, you’re busy. Let me school you on something, bitch, EVERYONE is busy! That’s the kind of world we live in. A busy, busy, busy world.

So, to the very next person who pushes me in a supermarket, I’m going to call the management — or better yet, the cops — and have your sorry ass escorted out of the store. Putting your hand on another person to move her out of YOUR way is a violation! And I will not try to correct you anymore. Whoever raised you raised a nasty, selfish, ignorant person — and you WILL be stopped. Instead of taking your crap, I’m going as high as I can go, to get this selfish behavior stopped.

Is this what we are teaching our children? That it’s okay to put your hands on people, to push people, and to psychologically upset other people, just so YOU can be first in this unpolite me-me-me world?

Sorry, not on my time. Nasty bitches, beware, you are so over!

Please sign petition to Corey Booker! Women should feel safe shopping for groceries! https://www.change.org/p/corey-booker-supermarket-bullying-should-be-treated-as-a-crime

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is an author and public speaker. Her first book is “On the Guest List: Adventures of a Music Journalist” and deals with anti-bullying. Available on Amazon, in paperback only: https://www.amazon.com/Guest-List-Adventures-Music-Journalist/dp/162903908X

Teens Deserve a Voice as Much as Rock Stars

Photo by Jason Merritt, Getty Images, Warner Brothers

The big news in rock today is that Keith Richard bashed the Grateful Dead, calling the music of the late Jerry Garcia “boring shit, man.” (http://ultimateclassicrock.com/keith-richards-grateful-dead-comment/).

People are all over Facebook putting in their two cents. Since I follow rock groups, it’s most people that agree with Keith … agreeing that The Grateful Dead suck.

In later years our tastes change. As a woman in my early 50s, I’ve grown to the point where I enjoy some Grateful Dead songs and will listen on a Sirius, but I have no desire to see them live or purchase their music. As a teen, my attitude was not so kind. I agreed with Keith — they were boring shit. (Sorry, Jerry!) However, unlike Mr. Keith Richard, I was bullied, relentlessly, for my opinion.

I suppose Keith Richard will never have three guys attack him in a school hallway and have a teacher turn a blind eye. (Yes, that happened to me — a little girl, skinny, and probably the smallest in the class). Simply because I didn’t like the Grateful Dead, as most of my high school did. No, it was 1979 and I liked PUNK ROCK.

So every day I was punished for my musical tastes. When I shared with my husband that three guys tried to beat me up (again this tiny little thing) he said, “What kind of guys did you go to school with? I was always taught to respect girls.” PIGS! That’s the kind of kids I went to school with. Disrespectful, disgusting, fools who didn’t know how to be kind to others. By now half of them are probably serving time.

In another incident, a German girl who got left back a year in order to learn to speak English properly, was twice my size and always picked on me. I wasn’t sure why. We were once friends but one day she was over my house, playing in the pool. My mother told her not to splash around so much. Since then the German girl harassed me. I think she had a crush on my mom, as she always told me how beautiful she was. So since my mother yelled at her, she took her garbage out on me. She never laid a hand on me, but she threatened and verbally abused from grade school throughout high school. Then one day she actually took a photograph of me while I was changing for gym class. This German girl was now 18-years-old, picking on me — still a minor at 17. Again, twice my size. I was a tiny thing. She was a woman. I was still a kid. Shame on HER. Interesting one time she was in the school bathroom, strung out on acid, crying to me that she was upset I had a boyfriend and she didn’t. I thought that was an ice-breaker and an opportunity to be friends. Feeling bad, I listened. But then she came down from her trip and the bullying resumed.

These are just two incidents, but there were many … every single day and not one teacher did anything to help.

Did I deserve this, just because I chose to listen to punk rock?

What can I say, I thought The Clash had a lot more to say than, “truckin’ like a doo-dah man.” Though the funny thing is The Grateful Dead are about love and community, right? How funny that me, the little punk rocker, was just a shy, but good-hearted kid who was a great friend given the chance. Once I became a senior, in 1980 to 1981, I was happy to defend younger children from bullies. Listening to punk rock eventually gave me confidence — and a voice.

What was really funny though was one Halloween when I decided to go to school dressed like a Dead Head. Instead of wearing my leather jacket and black Nancy Spungeon make-up, I went to school without make-up. All these hypocrites approached me telling me I was “so pretty.” They were nice to me for one day because I fit in.

If not being true to myself meant making fake friends, I wanted no part of it.

“Scumbag” and “Dog” were names I was called every day

So where were you, back in 1979, Keith Richard? Gathering no moss, of course. Now you are an old codger who has paid your dues. Everyone listens to what you have to say and puts in their two cents. God bless you.

But, let me take this opportunity to put in a voice to those who need it: teenagers (and children) who are being bullied and harassed RIGHT THIS MOMENT just like I was once, simply for being themselves. In the words of the late Joe Strummer, “Go easy, step lightly … stay free.”

And in my own words, DEAR TEENAGERS:

Please be strong! Don’t do anything horrible, like killing yourself. I know I wished I was dead, many times, but that is not the answer. Be strong and be YOU-nique. There is life after high school and things do change. Though adults are no better and still bully, but in more passive/aggressive ways, so there is no escape. The good news is, as you grow, you’ll find others who are just like you — and know, in your heart, that your life has a purpose. People need you and someday you’ll be the one who inspires others!

Much love from one who has been there, Maryanne xo

Today = 52 and happy as shit! ❤

Here is my most recent interview on anti-bullying on The Drew Carson show (my segment is about 12 minutes in) http://www.podcastgarden.com/episode/maryanne-christiano-mistretta-interview_57952

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is the author of “On the Guest List: Adventures of a Music Journalist.” This book shares her experiences with bullying. Available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/162903908X

She is also an anti-bullying motivational speaker. Email for rates and availability: maryannechristiano@gmail.com

More on Anti-Bullying

Photo design by Darlene Foster

My first book, “On the Guest List: Adventures of a Music Journalist” shares my experiences with being bullied in high school. I want all parents to know, that when a child is bullied, it’s not about your child, it’s about the bully being incompetent. The best advice was given to me by my grandmother, to let them know you are not afraid. That worked, but sadly when there is one, there’s another and defending yourself is a work in progress.

In my later years, I look back in pity on the bullies as I realized most of them were bullied at home, by their parents. It’s up to EVERYONE to work together on this. I truly believe when parents say, “Not my little darling” it could be their cover-up for child abuse. Children do re-act to how they are treated at home by duplicating in the playground and the locker room. A girl from Germany who was a whole year older than me because she got left back to learn better English harassed me (that means she was 18, picking on a MINOR, so my mother could have pressed charges on her!) in the locker room taking a photo of me when I was changing. (God bless my little sister who said, “At least you have great legs!”) I learned this girl’s father abused her by making her walk around the house naked because she walked in on him while he was going to the bathroom.

That girl used her anger towards her father on me and abused me in both grammar school and high school. One day she had a bad acid trip and was crying to me and confessed she was jealous of me. When I brought this up to a guidance counselor, the bully lied and said she never said such a thing and said she didn’t like me because I was a punk rocker. (That’s hilarious and even more of a reason to pity that person who was legally an adult tormenting me).

I share because today I am extremely happy and blessed to have the best husband in the world. Anyone who reads “Guest List” will see that it’s a very positive story with no dark descent into drugs or alcohol. And though it’s not a children’s book, it’s an inspiring story parents can share with their children.

Note: I recommend parental guidance for “Guest List” because of bad language (hey, it’s a punk book!) and some delicate situations where I share about being a young woman navigating NYC during a more dangerous time.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/162903908X

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is available to speak in schools on anti-bullying. Please contact her at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com for pricing and availability. Will travel!

Guest Speaker on “Bright Side with Tekneshia”

Blog radio host, Tekneshia Day

I’m honored to be a guest on blog radio show, “Bright Side with Tekneshia” tomorrow, March 24 at noon, EST. 

Here’s the link for those who would love to tune in: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/tekneshiaday/2014/03/24/on-the-guest-list-adventures-of-a-music-journalist-with-maryanne-christiano

 

 

My Radio Podcast: Guest on The Bully Proof Classroom

I was very honored to be a guest on “The Bully Proof Classroom” a blog radio program hosted by James “Jim” Burns, author of “Anti-Bulling 101.”

The program is about 50 minutes long and I spoke about 45 minutes sharing my challenges: being bullied in both grammar school and high school, living with dyslexia, becoming an award winning journalist and self-employed home business owner without a college education, how bands like The Plasmatics gave me hope for the outside world when I was just a teenager and so many other cool things, some of which are featured in my book: “On the Guest List: Adventures of a Music Journalist” (available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/162903908X)

The podcast will be saved forever, so please feel free to tune in at your convenience: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/bullyproofclassroom/2014/03/11/the-bully-proof-classrooms-speaks-with-maryanne-christiano-mistretta

Jim was a great host and I had such a wonderful time! Definitely a wonderful way to end the day.

AGAIN, PLEASE NOTE: If parents want to purchase my book, it IS a rock ‘n’ roll book and there are curse words, so please use discretion as to whether or not your child could read. I would suggest 16 and older.