dating

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I Wanna Be Where the Boys Are!

Published July 3, 2015 by Maryanne

records 2The best girls are diehard music fans!

Big truth here (and what my husband says makes me special ♥).

Whenever there’s an event, other wives/girlfriends run off to smoke a cigarette, take selfies in the bathroom, check their smart phones …. whatever! But I’m happy being left behind with my very good looking husband and all the other guys talking about MUSIC!

An interesting stereotype right? But 90 percent of the time it is true.

I’ve been a diehard music fan since I was a kid. (It’s all documented in my book “On the Guest List: Adventures of a Music Journalist” (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/162903908X). And from day one, it was apparent that girls weren’t as interested in music as I was. One of my touchy little girlfriends scolded me saying I talked about Freddie Mercury too much. My mom said she was right.

I felt defeated until I realized, that’s exactly the kind of girl a guy likes — one who knows music. And for that very reason, I always had more guy friends than girlfriends. A guy once said to me, “Every girl wants to be told she’s different. But you … you’re really different!”

I wrote about this on Face Book yesterday and surprisingly, I got the “thumbs up” from quite a few of my female friends! It lead to an hour long conversation from one girl I was friends with in the 1990s. We took a walk down memory lane discussing all the bands we saw together and then shared the highlights of some of our favorites that we saw in later years. It was the most fun I had on Face Book in ages and I don’t see something like that happening again soon, as females bonding over music is rare. This is why, in my second book, “Love Cats” (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00YBGVJQS/) I had two girlfriends, Janey and Valerie, being big music fans.  This way, the book could be more attractive to male readers who normally wouldn’t read chick lit.

Actor Scott Schiaffo, best known for his role as the Chewlies Man in Kevin Smith’s “Clerks,” endorsed “Love Cats” saying, “Maryanne’s zeal for life and passion for creativity shines through in all of her work. Here in her first book of fiction she gives us multidimensional characters mitigating love and growing pains as they manicure their pop culture lifestyle at the tail end of the ’80s. It’s romance — Gen X style! I could not get enough of Janey and Beck.”

I was thrilled that Scott enjoyed my little romance novel. Of course with so many musical references you can’t go wrong when it comes to hip guys from the Gen X generation! And that’s just it … guys who are big music freaks really are the best guys. I always found musicians and music fans to be the deepest, smartest, funniest, dedicated and most honest. Sure, there are some that fit the stereotype of being cheaters and assholes, but there’s definitely more that are not. In our circle, all the musicians and music lovers are super guys that anyone would enjoy being around. Hey, maybe that’s why I don’t mind being left at bar with them!

So, ladies, perhaps I can inspire you … when your group runs off to wherever for whatever, why not stay behind? That’s where all the fun is!

Now enjoy some cool tunes:

Would You Date Someone If They Hated Your Cat?

Published June 16, 2015 by Maryanne

black-smoke-maine-coon-catCute photo swiped from Google search

Why doesn’t Janey like me?!

In “Love Cats” when Beck Stewart meets Janey Peyton, he thinks he found the perfect girl … except …

Below is an excerpt from “Love Cats” (Kindle and paperback available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00YBGVJQS/) Note: Sexual content, 18 and over, please.

Love Cats excerpt

Faults? Of course Janey had them; he knew that from day one. First of all she hated his cat. It was almost like Janey was in competition with Morticia. He’d catch her doing crazy things like staring the cat down. And worse, he even caught her kick the cat once … not very hard, but hard enough to upset an animal lover. Morticia scampered away and hid.

“Don’t you ever do that to my cat again.

“What did I do?”

“You kicked her! That wasn’t cool.” Beck tried to get his cat to come out of hiding by calling her. “Morticia … come here Baby!” Morticia was nowhere in sight. “That’s so messed up, Janey.” He shot her a look and continued searching for Morticia in the apartment.

“I’m sorry … won’t happen again,” Janey mumbled under her breath.

“Morticia is a living being. She’s not a stuffed toy. She has a little heart, she breathes. She’s more than just a pet, Janey. She’s family. I had her ten years, since I was a teenager. Mom gave her to me!”

“I said I was sorry!” Janey yelled. “I don’t need a lecture!”

Beck was so disappointed in her.

Readers: Would you date someone if they hated your cat? Share your thoughts and experiences!

Dating Authentic

Published June 14, 2015 by Maryanne

love 1980s

1980s

When I wrote my first fiction book, “Love Cats” I had to channel another lifetime since the book not only takes place in the 1980s, but with young people.

I did plenty of “Googling” and watching old television shows to make sure I had the right looks and the right dialogue. Nothing is worse than reading a fiction book that takes place in another decade and everything is dead wrong.

Though there are some things in life that the more things change, the more they stay the time. Like love gone bad. Even in this day and age my single friends complain to me about guys who don’t love them just as they are.

In “Love Cats” Janey Peyton has this issue when she hooks up with famous rock photographer Adam Durian. His demands on Janey are pretty harsh. From telling her what shoes to wear to insisting she lose weight before he takes her out again, the novelty of dating someone famous gets old pretty fast.

This morning I was watching an episode of “The Facts of Life” (television show 1980s) where Blair is dating someone who makes similar demands on her, like suggesting she cut her long hair.

Dating wrong people isn’t an issue exclusive to the 1980s. Girls still do it and always will, until they learn. Like Janey did.

Does Janey find true love after all? What lessons does she learn along the way. Find out. Get your copy of “Love Cats” today. A book for most generations! (18 and over).

“Love Cats” is available on Amazon.

Paperback: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1681020513

Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00YBGVJQS/

back cover proof CORRECTLove Cats (back and front cover)

Call Me

Published June 20, 2012 by Maryanne

Me, using an effective tool for friendship  (Photo by Darlene Foster)

I have a friend I’ve known since high school who, for the past few years, does all her communicating online. It wasn’t always like this. I used to call her whenever I needed someone to talk to, and she was there for me. But once Face Book came along, she started this new rule that it was best to communicate to her via email, which irked me to no end and evidently after quite a few miscommunications — via email of course — the friendship ended.

To me, a phone call will always be vastly superior to an email. You can hear the tone of a person’s voice and know immediately if they are happy or sad, if you called at a bad time or if they have exciting news to share. You can hear laughter. You can hear a joke or sarcasm that may not be translated via email. And you can play “Mary Had a Little Lamb” on the touch tone buttons.

People seem to think it’s some sort of status symbol to say they have no time for phone calls, or that they don’t get many phone calls. In the 21st century, a phone call uncool and not something to be used by those who love to keep up with the Joneses.

I don’t know what Joneses these hipsters are keeping up with, but I prefer the Joneses of yesteryear — the Tom Joneses, the Shirley Joneses and the Davy Joneses — the Joneses that were around when it was cool to be on the phone. If a person’s line was busy, that meant he/she was popular.

I was the last person on earth to get an answering machine and in the early 90s I still didn’t have one. People either caught me when I was home, or didn’t get me at all. This was great when I was still single. I actually got letters in the mail from friends and potential boyfriends because they had no other way of getting in touch with me if I wasn’t home to answer the phone.

To this day, I find that so amusing.

The whole concept of emails and texting being a major source of communication just escapes me. I couldn’t imagine being a younger person and using these methods for dating. It takes away the whole mystique of being unavailable.

I remember being a young person and coming home from a night out and my grandmother telling me a certain someone had called while I was out. How exciting!

I feel so sorry for young people who don’t have that grand element of surprise anymore during their dating years. They are missing out, big time. Everything is too easy, which takes away the fun. It’s just human nature that people like a bit of a challenge.

Last year during a slow period with my business I took on a part-time job at a music store for a couple months. The store owner’s son would spend entire nights hanging out at the music store texting a girl he was interested in. It was so pathetic to watch. She obviously wasn’t interested in him and just used the texting tool as a way to kill her boredom because from what he told me she had no life. (And clearly he didn’t either).

I felt bad for the kid, but he made his own bed. He was obviously addicted to this little device that was preventing him from getting out in the world and enjoying life. I wondered if the same girl would spend as much time with this guy had he called her or set up a date to see her in person. Probably not.

I remember being young and telling my grandmother, “Say I’m not home!” when an undesirable person would call. How do you do that with a text? With texts and emails — the punchline is, you’re ALWAYS home. But I guess the younger generation has new concepts of what a loser is and isn’t.

And, think about it, how sexy was it back in the day when you first met someone and he/she wrote their phone number on your hand? In this technology day and age, people are like, “call my cell, then I’ll have your number in there.”

Eww … how dull! And people are missing out on the thrill of touching someone’s arm for the first time as they write their phone number on it. Talked about a missed opportunity!

Call me old fashioned, but I simply love the idea of going through a phone book and calling random friends from a land line. (Note: I don’t call people who only use cells — I do not want to compete with traffic and background noise, and people certainly shouldn’t be talking on their phones while driving!)

It’s so exciting when someone you left a message for calls you back. It’s just so cool that there are still people out there that have courtesy skills — and even cooler that I can call these people friends!

Sometimes while I’m waiting for my husband to come home, I’ll pour myself a glass of wine and talk for a half hour or so to my friend Gina or my friend Darlene (who took the photo above) who also lives close-by. Even though I see Gina and Darlene often, it’s still so nice to keep in touch on a regular basis. When we see each other we still have plenty to talk about and laugh about.

What a blessing it is to live during a time when the good things in life are just a phone call away.

Want a Soul Mate? It’s Easier Than You Think!

Published June 11, 2012 by Maryanne

Me and My Husband, Summer 2010 (my favorite picture of us!)

Bah — I’m so tired of the mindset of love happening when you least expect it! Even my beloved grandmother, God rest her soul, used to say that! Truth is — it’s not true!

When I found love, damn straight I was looking for it and EXPECTING IT!

I believe that when you’re ready for love, you should just go out and get it! It is truly that simple. I’m a firm believer in the Law of Attraction; a firm believer in magic; a firm believer in faith; and a firm believer in believing in yourself and getting what you want!

I think people who aren’t in love, secretly — deep down — don’t want it; for whatever reason. Not that it’s a bad thing not to want love or have it. We all deserve love of course and when we really want it, rest assured we will get it.

When I didn’t want love, I didn’t get it. I successfully avoided it. I told people not to fix me up. I avoided married people or people looking for love. I stayed in my comfort zone of being single by hanging around with other single people and dating others who weren’t ready to commit. Yeah, it was a lot of unnecessary drama, but I knew no other way.

Then, when I was FINALLY ready — at my time, not when society felt I should be ready, not when a biological clock said I should be ready, when I was ready PERIOD — it came! And yes, I anticipated it, like a little kid waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve.

All it took was a mere two months of perseverance using the Law of Attraction, faith, belief in myself and the common sense not to repeat the mistakes I made when I subconsciously wasn’t interested in meeting a soul mate. Because at this point, I knew what I wanted and what I deserved — and I went for it with all my heart and soul! (Hey, I like that “Heart and Soul Mate!”)

After a mere two months of SERIOUSLY wanting to be in love, FOREVER,  I met my husband — another soul looking for love. And there are many of them out there. Potential soul mates are out there right now looking for you — as we speak!

Isn’t that exciting?!

I’m so happy for all of you ladies (and guys) that are ready and EXPECTING it. The happiness that is coming your way is thrilling!

So, if you’re a lady reading this and you truly want to find your soul mate — here are THREE TIPS that can help move the process along faster. These are three things I made a conscious effort not to do once I knew I was READY because they helped keep that door WIDE OPEN for my true love to fly right in!

Three Tips to Speed Up the Soul Mate Process

1. Stop dating guys you’re not that attracted to. If you’re not seeing rockets and having massive heartbeats when he’s calling or knocking on the door, just end it. If you date someone you’re “just not that into” because he’s a nice guy or your best friend, you’ll subconsciously find excuses to pick on him. It’s not fair. Don’t go there because in the long run it’s not going to work.

2. Don’t date guys that are unavailable. While there are cases where it works for women who break up marriages, I truly think it’s best to avoid married men. If the guy is THAT unhappy, wait until he gets his divorce papers. It’s best to start on a clean slate. This also applies for ones in other types of committed relationships. You should always be number 1 — not second fiddle.

3. Don’t go back and forth with exes. Okay, so I have seen couples who were together in high school, broke up and then got together again and they are HAPPY. But this is the exception to the rule. Most people who are on again/off again are just not going to make it. It seems like those types of relationships are ones where one or the other gives up when the going gets rough. Then because they are co-dependent, they get back with each other. It’s not true love because they can’t take the heat, yet when things seem like they got smoother the couple is back making goo-goo eyes at each other again without addressing the issues at hand. How can this ever be healthy?

These tips may help some readers, or you may come up with your own. The gist of this article is that we, as human beings, have the power to take charge of what we have in our lives and everything we want in life is available to us. Whether it’s a dream job or a soul mate — it is out there for you!

Believe in yourself and EXPECT it!