My hair will look this good again — someday soon!
Part of getting what you want in life is creative visualization, and putting it out there, which is why I’m writing the following blog, which is part creative visualization and part much needed venting/purging. Because it seems you gotta get haircuts from a lot of frogs before you meet the beautiful princess stylist!
As amazing as 2017 was, having good hair was a struggle. Early in the year I got a bad haircut from my former salon goddess. She had a head trauma, didn’t tell me, and fucked up my hair. We remained friends, and I would like to go back to her someday, but need a break because the trust was broken.
So, I was able to get my hair fixed — and it looked gorgeous. However, would not return to Salon #1 of 2017 because it was too gossipy; parking was a big issue and the salon didn’t have quarters for the meter; and the shampoo girl had attitude problems.
Then I found another Salon #2 of 2017 that did a fab job, but they were over a half hour ride for me, which is inconvenient for a busy person. And another reason … see #3 below under “Reasons Not to Go Back Besides a Bad Cut.”
Finally, I thought I found my “forever” salon. I got three great cuts in a row from Salon #3 of 2017. By the time of my fourth, my intuition told me not to go back. I should have listened to my gut because I got a horrible chop job.
The sad thing is, during the year when I wrote bad reviews on Yelp about Salon #1 and Salon #3, the salon owners took it incredibly personal, instead of dealing with the constructive criticism. Both salon owners taunted me on Yelp, ripping me a new asshole; and Salon #3 even went as far as having one of their friends harass me privately in an email. I actually called the salon and told them, nicely, that I didn’t appreciate the private harassing. The owner played dumb, of course.
Frustrated, I deleted my Yelp account. If I can’t be honest and warn residents in my area about bad hair salon experiences, what’s the point?
And this isn’t the first time that happened. Years ago, a stylist, who did a great job, was on the phone fighting with her husband, now ex-husband, while she was coloring my hair. It took three hours to do a foil job that normally took 45 minutes. When I wrote a bad review, the owner of the shop tracked me down and harassed me by calling my house! Scared about what she would do next, I immediately took the review down.
Before I deleted my Yelp account yesterday, I saw other people writing in the complaint area that they, too, have been stalked by places they gave bad reviews too. One wrote that she was afraid a business owner was going to follow her with an ax! I wouldn’t put it past these narcissists who live in La-La Land thinking they could do no wrong. They’ll go to any extent to get you to remove your bad review. They claim you are ruining their business with not one ounce of compassion regarding how they ruined your hair — and your time!
When I watch episodes of “Tabatha Takes Over” I want to yell at the screen, “Tabatha please come to these terrible New Jersey salons and bitch slap them all for me!” (And I say “New Jersey” because that’s where I live, but yes, I’ve had bad haircuts in NYC too!)
The good news is that over the years, I’ve gotten some of the BEST haircuts from stylists when they had to fix someone else’s mistake. (And even in my 50s, I have the face to pull off short or long hair!)
Though I’d like to point out, there are other reasons why I stop going to certain salons that don’t even involve bad hair. Read the following. Perhaps you can relate?
Reasons Not to Go Back Besides a Bad Cut:
- Gossip. I had this guy do amazing highlights on my hair. I never went back because he bad mouthed everyone from the salon owner (I didn’t like her either, but that’s beside the point), all his clients, and even the girl he took to the high school prom.
- Boredom. I had this woman who cut hair beautifully. However, she bored me to death with terrible conversation. Example: Her, “So what’s new?” Me, “I had my first book published.” Her, “So what else is new? Are you going anywhere for vacation this summer.” URGH! If someone asks me “what’s new?” and can’t be excited about something as thrilling as publishing a book, I just can’t … Which brings me to Salon #3, mentioned above, the bad cut was definitely a blessing in disguise because I needed an excuse to get away. I was so exhausted hearing about engagements and weddings — yawn! I’m a gal who eloped; so not a “Here Comes the Bride” person. Talk to me about spirituality, music, anything creative — but not a wedding. I’m kinda like a guy that way! Stylists should learn to KNOW their audiences! But then again, many of them are so self-involved, it’s beyond them.
- Not “getting” the client. Two stylists did amazing work, but I hesitated going back because I feared getting the same cut every time. The cut in the photo above was from a young woman who considered the cut “rock ‘n’ roll.” It was an a good cut, a great cut in fact, a cut I wouldn’t mind having again, but it was not exactly “rock ‘n’ roll.” To me, messy, edgy hair says “music lover.” I want a stylist who will give me bold colors, fringe bangs, and something that can work with my waves. I do not want to look like a school teacher. Another stylist mistakenly called me “conservative” because I didn’t have a million tattoos on my arms like their other clients. Honey, I’m anything BUT conservative. I even went there bra-less! Her comment reminded me of my teenage punk rocker days. I wore a leather jacket with a ton of buttons on it, heavy eye make-up, and magenta earrings, but that wasn’t “punk” enough for hardcore punk rock chicks and I was called a “poser.” All people, not just stylists, need to look beyond their inner circle.
I wish I could name ’em and shame ’em all, but because hairstylists are such babies who can’t take criticism; and the fact that I don’t want some crazy bitch coming after me with a knife, I won’t. Though it does feel good to get it all out there and purge. And let this also be a lesson to future salon goers everywhere — don’t trust Yelp. Stylists pay for good reviews and harass people who leave bad ones.
Finding a forever salon is a full time job. It’s like dating. Before I started dating my husband, I took all the right steps not to make the same mistakes again. Doing the same thing over and over again is the definition of insanity. I now realize 5-star Yelp reviews mean NOTHING. Also note, I am limited because I only go to salons that use products that don’t test on animals, such as Paul Mitchel and Aveda.
But prior to making my appointment, I meditated on it. What I came up with was a NEW APPROACH. Rather than going by five star Yelp reviews, I’d go by how the owner handles a bad review.
The salon I chose had one bad review. The owner reached out to the client and said she’d talk to her about it privately and resolve the issue. To me, that said CLASS. Wow, someone who actually owned up to a salon mistake!
I called the salon immediately and made an appointment with a master stylist — and requested one who is not too chatty. I had a nice conversation with the receptionist. She seemed to get a kick out of my high demands. We even had a laugh over it. My master stylist didn’t have immediate bookings, which was a good sign!
My appointment is Wednesday. Will it be my forever salon, or just a one-cut stand? Only the universe knows. But the fact that a bad review was handled with such finesse, shows me I’m on the right track, and that’s a win/win!
SHARE YOUR HAIR STORIES IN THE COMMENTS SECTION! What was your best cut? How do you choose a stylist? What makes one hairstylist better than another? I want to hear from YOU!
Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is a public speaker, editor/writer of 21 newspapers in New Jersey, and three-time author. For more information and links to her books, visit the “About” section of this blog. To book one of her lectures, or to have her help you ghost write/edit your book, visit: https://peartreeenterprises.wordpress.com/