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What Makes Middle-Aged Women Seem Older?

Published October 15, 2022 by Maryanne
Maryanne, Summer 2022

First, let me say I am 59 and proud of my age. I am not anti-aging, I am PRO-aging! But when I say “pro-aging” I mean all the positives that come with age — peace, wisdom, faith, calmness, trust, and true happiness. It’s a fact that we will all grow older, so why not embrace it?

Some of us choose to look — and feel — better with healthy eating, exercise, and meditation (me), while others might go the Botox route (not me, but that’s fine if you’re into it). Some of us like to be silly and act immature (me), while others appear younger by keeping up with the latest styles. And nothing is wrong with any of that as long as you are happy with where you are at in life and not chasing after your past like Gloria Swanson in “Sunset Boulevard”.

However, there are three things that I strongly feel make a middle-aged woman seem much older — and stuffier!

  1. Assuming Young People Don’t Know What Vinyl Is. FACT: Rising stars are putting out vinyl left and right. And their young followers are purchasing it. But this isn’t something new. I’ve been buying vinyl ever since I’ve had an allowance and never stopped. And as I got older, I continued to see younger people in record stores buying vinyl. Music will never die, and listening on vinyl is a great thing. That’s something universal that both younger and older generations can relate to. If you don’t want to appear stodgy, don’t make declarations like, “I bet she doesn’t know what a record player is.”
  2. Being Obsessed with Weight. Weight watching is so ’60s, so ’70s, so ’80s, and so ’90s. Since the ’00s, we’ve begun to see more and more BBW (Big Beautiful Women). And it started with a younger generation of women, knowing they look good just as they are. While obesity creates health problems, being curvy doesn’t. We’re seeing curvier models, curvier actresses, and curvier women in the streets. But many women in my age group and older have missed that memo. Some still over obsess about their own bodies — and the bodies of other women. And I’m not just talking about being a gym rat or a yoga person, I’m talking about people who fear food and still believe no one is good enough unless they are a size 0. I’ve heard of older women avoiding restaurants in order to stay at their goal weight. That is not healthy. We need to socialize. We need to celebrate. We need to be okay with not always being perfect. Even bodybuilders have their off days and cheat days. If a woman of a certain age is too preoccupied with food and weight, it might be a good idea to consider therapy (and I say this with sincerity). The most liberating thing about being alive in the 21st century is that we’re now a society filled with beautiful people of all weights, shapes, and sizes. Thinness obsession is a dated mindset and it is making you seem old granny-ish.
  3. Putting Down Other Women. Why do older women still do this? It’s an outdated concept that has to go. Young women don’t hurt, they support. I’ll never forget seeing a You Tube video of Billie Eilish and Ariana Grande fawning all over each other. They were both fans of each others music. It was absolutely adorable! We’ve come a long way from the Joan Crawford/Bettie Davis feuds. Or have we? Why can’t older women learn from the younger female generation. Why are older women so hesitant to give each other compliments? Why do older women still feel superior giving digs? In my humble opinion, being nasty ages a person. Do you really want to be known as an old bitch?

If you liked this blog, feel free to buy me a kombucha: https://ko-fi.com/maryannechristianomistretta

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

Visit my business page, Pear Tree Enterprises, at: https://peartreeenterprises.wordpress.com/

I Can Do That!

Published September 22, 2022 by Maryanne
Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta

The above photo was from Tuesday night. I was in anticipation of another outdoor summer concert, but reflecting back to a few days prior when I saw one of my idols, Patti Smith, perform at Count Basie Theatre.

It was one of many concerts I saw of her. And this one was more thrilling because I was accompanied by my husband, who never saw her before and really enjoyed himself.

Since then, I’ve been on a binge watching everything Patti Smith on You Tube. As much as I love her music, I especially love her interviews. She’s a wise sage; a warrior.

One interview in particular touched me. It illustrated how we can manifest our own destinies. She said after seeing Jim Morrison on stage, she said, “I could do that.”

Four powerful words can take us to the next level fierce. When we believe in ourselves, we can tap into something inside of us that can make others believe in us too.

Early in my career of being self-employed, before I became a professional speaker, I would help book artists gigs in restaurants, senior centers, assisted living facilities and libraries. One time an activities director wasn’t interested in the musician I was promoting, but said she wanted someone to speak about health.

I can do that, I said to myself. But first I asked her, “Do I need certification to speak on health?”

She said I didn’t.

“I can do that!” I said, eagerly.

Nevertheless, I did my homework and was able to speak about general, common sense type things like the importance of walking, eating whole foods, and not smoking.

I was nervous and read from the page, not connecting with the audience as I do today when I speak. But I was well received and invited back several times! Since then, I’ve spoken in front of countless audiences, from very small–as in four people–to over a hundred.

Nowadays, I hardly read my notes. I don’t stand behind a podium. I walk around, crack jokes, talk to the audience, and ad lib.

During the pandemic, my speaking career was on halt, but I’ve used ZOOM to my advantage, reaching people all over the world! Now that the pandemic has lightened up tremendously, I’m out and about again with six upcoming lectures!

And it all started with four great words — I can do that!

If you liked this blog, feel free to buy me a kombucha: https://ko-fi.com/maryannechristianomistretta

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

Visit my business page, Pear Tree Enterprises, at: https://peartreeenterprises.wordpress.com/

So, this is 59!

Published August 20, 2022 by Maryanne
August 19, 2022 … age 59
Birthday celebration with my husband (and our friends, Rob & Jayne) August 18, 2022
From left, Dennis, me, Jayne, Rob, August 18, 2022
Led Zep umbrella, in case it rained! (August 16, 2022)

I love birthdays, especially mine (I won’t lie!) I love being fawned over and getting gifts. Sometimes we can get too hard on ourselves (I am especially hard on myself) and birthdays are a great reminder how loved we are.

I never would have imagined being in my 50s would be so much fun. I’m blessed to still be very healthy and high energy. Life is so precious I make it a point to have an amazing one, with amazing people in my life. My husband spoils me so much and makes me laugh so hard. Our friends are the same. Always a memorable time together.

For the last year of my 50s, I do have some goals. I’d like to get a second printing of my book “The Gypsy Smiled” which is now out of print. (There might be a few left on Amazon by indie sellers). I’d like to book more speaking engagements (I have four from now until the end of the year!) And I’d like to continue doing all the other creative stuff I’ve been doing: journalism, over 50 modeling, working at events. Plus the fun stuff like concerts, going to vegan restaurants, and clothes shopping!

I want everyone know that I am PROUD of my age and not afraid to grow older. I trust that I have a lot more time on this planet, but you never know, so I’ll keep having fun until the fun runs out!

Next year is the big 60!!

If you liked this blog, feel free to buy me a kombucha: https://ko-fi.com/maryannechristianomistretta

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

Summer Fun in New Hope, Pennsylvania

Published June 5, 2022 by Maryanne
Waiting for the Night

I absolutely love those summer nights when there’s no humidity and it’s not yet too hot.

My husband and I headed out to New Hope, Pennsylvania last night to see Classic Stones/Glimmer Twins at the New Hope Winery. We saw that tribute band so many times and it never gets old. They cover so many Stones classics and it’s never the same show twice. My favorite track of the evening was “Gimme Shelter.” And was thrilled to hear “Miss You” from my all-time favorite Stones album, “Some Girls.”

After the show…Bernie, aka Keith Richards
My husband, Dennis
Don’t leave me hanging on the telephone!

After the show, we walked around town. New Hope, Pa., in a way is like NYC. The town never seems to sleep. Late night, stores and restaurants were open, and people were roaming the streets.

It was just a perfect summer evening to kick off the month of June, and much more to come this summer!

If you liked this blog, feel free to buy me a kombucha: https://ko-fi.com/maryannechristianomistretta

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

Over 50 Modeling, Photo Unretouched

Published May 20, 2022 by Maryanne
Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta, 2021, age 57

One year ago today, from a photo shoot with David Esposito.

I was 57. Photo unretouched. David Esposito doesn’t touch up photos. He likes them to be real.

Always be proud of your age, and all you’ve done in your life.

When you filter your fine lines, you filter your character. ❤

I also don’t do Botox or any other face alterations. If you do it, fine, good for you. But I don’t like the idea of it. That’s just me. I think every woman can look amazing with face yoga and facial massage. But that’s just me. Do what you like as long as you are happy.

There are days when I look old and tired too. But I realize I just need more rest or to make a change in my life. Your real face is a barometer for how happy you are. You may not need a facelift, just a change. 🙂

If you liked this blog, feel free to buy me a kombucha: https://ko-fi.com/maryannechristianomistretta

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

Happy Valentine’s Day Weekend

Published February 12, 2022 by Maryanne
Me and my hubby

Happy Valentine’s Day Weekend!

Happy couples are always in a state of honeymoon bliss. Valentine’s Day is extra special because so many people are on the same page and the vibe is beautiful. Some of us have children or fur babies we like to spoil. I got our kitties a Tunnel of Love which they are enjoying and have a big box of treats and toys waiting for them in the trunk of my car (because I don’t dare bring a box of toys that contains catnip in the house–they will most certainly keep attacking the box; cats are ambitious when it comes to treats!)

Valentine’s Day we plan on just chilling at home. But this weekend we’ll be checking out the play, The Wedding Singer, a musical based on the movie. I’m super psyched for that, as it’s one of my favorite movies. It will probably be hilarious, and you can’t beat music from the 1980s (though I favor the new wave over other ’80s randomness).

Are you still staying home for safety during the pandemic?

Below are my 10 Valentine’s Day Quarantine ideas that were published in Grey Journal last year and still relevant and many still stay inside, while the rest of us mask up–or not. I’m fully vaccinated, but I like to wear a mask to help protect others.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

Bloganuary Challenge – Day 26 – Favorite Part of Yourself

Published January 26, 2022 by Maryanne

MY PERSONALITY!

Yes, I’ll say it shamelessly. I have a dynamic personality!

In a world of pigeons, I’m a flamingo.

I’m fun and funny. I’m upbeat. I smile at strangers. I make lemonade out of lemons.

I have a great lust for life and appreciate each waking moment.

Loving yourself is a blessing. Love yourself today!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

Bloganuary Challenge – Day 25 – What Makes You Feel Strong?

Published January 25, 2022 by Maryanne
Me, 2007, age 44

What makes me feel strong? That’s an easy one–ME!

I worked hard to be able to work for myself as a writer. Knowing that I can effortlessly DELIVER a stellar product that needs minimal editing in minimal time makes me feel invincible. I get such a high off my work, my heart races. Being my own boss is strength and I owe it to no one but myself.

Prior to falling in love with my husband, and finally having a beautiful soul to lean on, I lived alone for 15 years. While I dated plenty, there was no one I was serious about and I did most everything for myself and by myself.

I’m so blessed I married a man who trusts me. I feel so free; more so than when I was single. We’re together most of the time, but sometimes if I want to do something alone (usually career-related, like a business trip, or lunch with the girls) I can count on him to be trusting and genuinely happy for me. Marrying a man like that was important to me.

Having a strong sense of independence in both your career and personal life is empowering. I think every woman should rely on HERSELF for strength! Strength = Security! You can do it!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

Bloganuary Challenge – Day 12 – What Emoji Do You Like to Use?

Published January 12, 2022 by Maryanne
Image by Nichola Fioravanti

I love emojis! (Not to be confused with GIFs, which I can’t stand!) They are an absolutely adorable way to express oneself. I’m all about cute and I love to see things like this:

💓
🐨
🐈
🐕
🍒

Of all the emojis, I love the heart the best. It’s pretty, it’s positive, and it says so many great things like, “I love what you have to say,” “I support you,” “This here is IT!”

And I admit, I get all fangirl giddy if I make a comment on a page that has thousands of followers and the influencer HEARTS my comment! When I write my own posts, I insert hearts as much as possible. The heart is my signature signature – if that’s a thing. Why not? We all deserve a little more love!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: Love Cats

Happy World Kindness Day!

Published November 13, 2021 by Maryanne

Happy World Kindness Day!

There’s an entire chapter on Kindness in my book “Be (Extra)Ordinary” Have you read it yet? It’s available on Amazon and in Barnes & Noble stores. https://www.amazon.com/Be-Extra-Ordinary-Ways-Become/dp/1733546227

Acts of kindness, whether giving or receiving, can change the entire mood of the day.

To keep it real, I have to say it can be shocking when someone does something nice. As much as we’d like to believe the world is filled with goodness, that’s not always the case. When someone is kind, it shouldn’t be taken for granted, but it shouldn’t be shocking either. The other day I was driving up the Garden State Parkway and came to a toll collector who was actually pleasant–most of them aren’t. I cheered her on. I let her know her great personality was appreciated. She certainly put a smile on my face.

In my home, there is so much love. I have an amazing husband who adores me (as I adore him!) and three loving cats (who are nothing like the cats on the television series “My Cat From Hell.”). We’ve created a cozy environment, decorated to our artistic tastes. We’re almost always playing music on the stereo and burning candles and incense. It’s easy to be happy and loving at home. It’s a peaceful, fun, enchanting place to be. But when you go out in the real world, you don’t know what you’re going to get. Small chores like running to the bank or grocery store can be stressful.

It bothers me that I’m a happy, fun, lovable person and I don’t always get the respect I deserve from others. I once read that people who are the nicest are also the ones others take their crap out on. They are unhappy themselves so how can they be kind to others? (Well, you know they are decent to the ones they think matter, like the person who signs their paycheck).

I just found a new dentist I like. And I LOVE the x-ray tech; what a great lady! But the receptionist — eh, not too pleasant. In fact, when I was there a week ago, she behaved snippy towards me. It was as if I bothered her by being there. How dare I interrupt her phone scrolling! I reported her and the dentist couldn’t believe it. She said no one said that before. However, when I looked up the reviews, people DID say that. Others commented that the receptionist was a bitch. I have no other choice now than to find a new dentist because the situation was uncomfortable. Life shouldn’t be annoying like this. If everyone takes a breather and THINKS before they react, I’m sure we’d have a lot more kindness in this world.

Maryanne spreading the word of love!

To celebrate kindness, I’m going to share three acts of kindness that recently happened from random strangers; and then share what I have done for random strangers.

Receiving

  1. A few days ago my husband and I were in Whole Foods getting a vegan pizza. It’s unusual that we go anywhere for just one item. The line was very long, but a man in line saw us and said, “You just have one item, you can go ahead of me.” We declined his offer, as we don’t mind waiting. But, how cool was that?
  2. It’s always a great feeling when someone in his/her car lets you get ahead of them in a busy intersection.
  3. On rainy or cold days, the mailman (or mailwoman) walks directly to my door the hand me my mail, so I don’t have to go out to the mailbox in the rain or cold. That is so appreciated!

Giving

  1. Over the summer I found a $100 bill in a hotel. I brought it to the front desk, and a second later, a teenager came to the front desk seeking their lost bill. I felt good that I found it. Not everyone would return in.
  2. I’m a clothes freak. I’m always buying new clothes, but also cleaning out my closets to donate to the needy several times a year.
  3. In a few weeks I’ll be promoting animal activisim for The Humane League at a local pet shop.

All this stuff is so random, but it shows how a little can go a long way!

Tell me about a random act of kindness, regarding giving or receiving, in the comments section below.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: Love Cats