marriage

All posts tagged marriage

Congratulations to Ashley & Mitchell

Published September 25, 2016 by Maryanne

sam_1304I was honored to officiate the wedding of Ashley and Mitchell Patino

Yesterday I was so touched to join two beautiful souls together — Ashley and Mitchell.

Officiating weddings is not something I do, but Ashley had asked me to, so I got my certificate. Ashley and I have been friends about two years and she is like a sister to me.

And this is the story of how I came to be the officiant at their most beautiful day.

The precious thing about life is that you’ll never know what a new day can bring. Pure magic can happen in a split second. Two years ago I was doing one of my first book signings ever. Ashley and Mitchell were there, in the audience. I did not yet know them. And it was one of their first dates.

While I was reading, from my own memoir, with my own love story, I noticed Ashley looking wide-eyed and attentive. We spoke after the reading and found out we had a lot in common, even though I was 26-years-older than her! We both loved the music of HIM, poetry, reading, and animals. We remained friends and saw each other from time to time.

It was earlier this summer that I received a call from Ashley, asking if I’d officiate her wedding. I was honored.

Between the rehearsal dinner on Friday night, and the actual wedding day, I can honestly say I have never seen so much love! Ashley and Mitchell both have the greatest family and the greatest friends. My husband and I had the time of our life! From start to finish, it was incredible. Hearing music by HIM, David Bowie, and The Cure. The gothic theme, with pumpkins along the aisle, Edgar Allen Poe and ravens set up at the reception area. The DJ and two percussionists that had the party going full hilt. And the food, especially the chocolate mousse dessert. It was the first time I had sugar in months!

It was certainly a day and night I’ll never forget. Wow. Just wow! ❤

All the happiness to Ashley and Mitchell as their FOREVER has just begun!

I’m sharing just two more photos below, but feel free to check out my Facebook page to see the rest: https://www.facebook.com/maryanne.christianomistretta.1/media_set?set=a.1778705042351466.1073741903.100006359623422&type=3&pnref=story

sam_1357Maryanne (left) with Ashley — I love this girl!! sam_1326The cake! 

Happy Friendship Day!

Published August 4, 2013 by Maryanne

Darlene and Maryanne Asbury Park Photo boothMe and one of my best friends, artist/photographer Darlene Foster

SAM_1779Me and Diane

SAM_0423Two of my best guy friends, Ed and Nick

SAM_0419My super cool friend Vin (right) with Jeff Yagher

Maryanne and DennisAnd with my best friend of all, the guy I married! I love you Dennis!

And much appreciation and love to all the other amazing friends in my life, both online and in real time!

You all know who you are!

Now enjoy a little Queen:

You’re My Best Friend

Head Over Heels Love Exists – And Lasts! (So Don’t Settle!)

Published July 11, 2013 by Maryanne

love-retro_00413641

It always breaks my heart when I read articles that try to steer people away from head over heels type love, saying it won’t last or that you’ll only set yourself up for disappointment, that emotional love isn’t good, blah, blah, blah …

Even some of my friends have tried to fall in love with someone they aren’t that attracted to or have seen as just a friend and figured they’d try it because “he’s a nice guy.”

No. Don’t go there. It won’t work.

Take it from me, happily married almost two years to a guy I’ve been with almost eight, and crushed on when I was a teenager. I was head over heels from our first official date and still am. The good news is, so is he!

To me, I’ve always believed in intense chemistry. I feel that God puts that chemistry there for a reason. If you’re not feeling the rockets, don’t go there as you’ll only set yourself up for future disappointment as one or the other will find excuses to get out. If you’re not feeling the rockets, it’s God’s way of saying he/she isn’t the right one.

Not only am I super attracted to my husband, he’s a great guy too. When I think of “best friend” he is it. Eight years into this relationship and I’m still seeing stars and fireworks. He still surprises me with gifts, is supportive of my career, does great things around the home … and best of all, stops me from doing whatever I’m doing so we can take a minute or two for a slow dance!

This is what love is and how life should be lived.

So, please, ladies (and guys), no matter how old you are or what you’ve been through in life, do not follow the advice of having to settle. You CAN find someone you think is super attractive (who feels the same way about you), adores you, can be your best friend, and love will continue to grow as you age, not fizzle.

If it wasn’t for my husband, trust me, I’d be ALONE and happy at that. I would never waste my time with anyone if I wasn’t head over heels (and if he didn’t feel the same way as I did).

And just as head over heels love exists, so does equality. When I took sex education in high school the teacher said in all relationships there is one partner that seems more caring than the other. I will say, that is not true! In a good, genuine, true love relationship, it can and will be definitely be EQUAL! No tits for tats. It will be THAT close.

Old fashioned, over the top love is still in vogue!

Which reminds me of this great song by Japan, from the 1980s, telling us that love is in vogue, while the couple in the song sets themselves up for heartbreak. Reminds me of people who try to make it work when it ain’t working. Don’t let that be you, because it CAN work! Find the person to make it work with. Don’t waste time when it’s not happening. But worse of all — don’t settle!

 

 

 

A Moonstone Coconut Lemongrass Sake Evening

Published June 16, 2013 by Maryanne

SAM_1277His (Mai Tai) and Hers (Moonstone Coconut Lemongrass Sake)

When it comes to alcoholic beverages, I’m a purist. So I was thrilled last night that Arirang had unfiltered sake, which you consume cold — not hot. In fact, ever since I started drinking cold sake, I could never go back to hot sake, it’s just so lame in comparison.

Refreshing!

Nothing beats a Saturday night out with my love. We were obviously the couple having the most fun at the bar. After a couple rounds, we noticed that a guy sitting across from us looked like Bobby Long from “Zack & Miri Make a Porno.”

I’m like, “Oh my God, he does!” and laughed hysterically, burying my head into my husband’s chest to buffer my laughter.

We love “Zack & Miri” so much we can quote it word for word, pretty much, and with gay porn star “Bobby Long” sitting across from us, we couldn’t help being inspired to re-enact a few lines from this scene:

“That’s Bobby’s boyfriend.”

“Bobby who?”

“Bobby me.”

“Bobby Long.”

“Are you f*cking with me?”

“No, they’re f*cking each other.”

CLASSIC!

And it was so cool having a bartender that enjoyed that we were enjoying ourselves. As we left he was inviting himself to our Father’s Day barbecue and telling us to come back again real soon.

Then we sung every song from Queen’s “A Day at the Races” (IN ORDER) except the first and last for whatever reason — although singing “Teo Torriatte” back at the Japanese cocktail lounge would have been a GREAT IDEA, especially since we had such a cool bartender. But, on second though, I think “Zack & Miri” quotes were enough for the bar to handle. You just can’t give it all away, right?

SAM_1283Feeling no pain

If I could just waltz through life on a moonstone coconut lemongrass sake high, the world would be a better place to live!

Jealousy, an Ugly Disease

Published June 11, 2013 by Maryanne

jealous-women-04(Photo swiped from Google search)

I’m like an old shoe, I can be friends with anyone. I’ve been told by many that I’m the most loyal friend a person can have, that I always make people feel comfortable and that I light up a room when I walk in. I’m also the most forgiving and forgetting. I love to make people laugh and focus on the positive.

Over the years I’ve seen candid photos of myself with other women taken at parties — more than once —  where I was smiling like the blonde in the above photo; and the other woman was looking at me negatively, like the brunette is doing.

Some may poo-poo it and say that it was just a bad shot of the other girl, but I see it differently. You just know, deep in your heart, when someone has it in for you. And that is sad — to be truly a good person yet suffer as victim of that ugly disease known as jealousy.

When I was a little girl, my mother taught me, if someone has something you don’t have, don’t be jealous, be happy. I think that was the greatest lesson my mother ever taught me because I’ve grown into an amazing woman who is truly happy when others are happy. I dread gossip, back-stabbing, dirt and drama. I want to live in a la-la-la-land of everything my heart — and your heart — desires. I want nothing but good for all! I want to hear all your happy stories. I want to hug you and rejoice in your good fortune — again and again and again!

I am so blessed that I have the most wonderful girlfriends in the world who are like me and don’t have a jealous bone in their body … except, some admit, when it comes to men.

Being jealous in a relationship is just as bad as being jealous of other women — if not worse. Being jealous in a relationship means you lack the biggest thing that holds a relationship together — trust.

Since I met my husband later in life, when I was 42 and he was 46, of course we both had pasts. But the beauty of it, is that we met when we were both available! Two months prior I had broken up with one of the biggest assholes I ever dated and around the same time my husband’s divorce was finalized. It was such a gorgeous thing that we met when we were both FREE! No sneaking around, no lying, no feelings of guilt. We were free to fall madly, deeply, intensely in love — as we did! What a blessing! Neither of us will ever have to question: “If she/he cheated on him/her, will she do it to me?”

When I met my husband, I had more male friends than female friends. Some were exes. And my gorgeous husband was so cool, so trusting, that it didn’t matter that I stayed in touch with them. After dating quite a few (but in fairness, not all) jealous guys my entire life, it was completely refreshing to find someone who had so much faith in me and our relationship. That alone made me fall even harder for my husband.

My husband is friends with his ex girlfriend (not ex-wife)’s brother — an amazing guy who I love having in our life. If I was a jealous person and forbid my husband to be friends with his ex’s brother, I’d be missing out because this friend is one of the coolest guys in the world. (If there are any single girls in NJ that want a great guy, he’s available, I’ll hook you up! But you better be worth it!) I also had the pleasure of meeting his sister a few years ago and she is super great too. Her daughter is a great little actress and we saw her in a school play.

So, as I’m expressing my wedded bliss, I have to say I never take our non-jealousy for granted. Prior to meeting my husband, I’ve had so many ugly escapades with jealous exes and well as jealous female friends, I count my blessings every minute that I’m so happy, in a satisfying, drama-free relationship and that none of my girlfriends are jealous either.

Let me count the horrible things (in no particular order) I’ve experienced in my life due to jealousy of others:

1. The time I went to a record fair with a girl I thought was my friend. She was an aspiring writer, but was so jealous that we ran into a famous rock star who complimented me on my writing. The next day she wrote me a super long email telling me how she hates me and hopes I “rot in hell” because all she ever hears about is my writing career.

2. A psycho ex who DEMANDED I take down a poster of HIM lead singer, Ville Valo, because he thought I looked at it before I went to bed. This same ex threw out my D-Generation CD because he was jealous of the lead singer, Jessie Malin. This same psycho ex was so jealous he threw out my JUST FOR FUN porn collection (magazines and videos I had from the 1970s and a Forum Penthouse magazine that had Cher on the cover). HOW CAN YOU BE JEALOUS OF PAPER IS BEYOND ME! I also, after the relationship ended, found that several other CDs that he didn’t like were missing.

3. Another psycho ex who was so jealous he wouldn’t take me to a restaurant unless I wore jeans. I couldn’t wear anything pretty. I had to blend in. And because of his insecurity he was on a constant mission to call me ugly names to make me feel bad about myself. He thought he was such a big deal, but I was bored in less than two months.

4. I was so happy to have reconnected with a cousin on Face Book a few years ago. We were going back and forth with emails and even planning to see each other. Then when I announced my engagement, she totally cut me off, stopped answering my emails and I never heard from her again. (And I not only went to her wedding, but her sister’s too, as well as engagement showers!) Same thing happened with several other pseudo “friends” who failed to acknowledge my engagement or wedding because they were jealous. ENVY IS SO UGLY!

5. An ex who threw a fit after we went to a movie because during the movie I pulled out a pen and pad and said, “This would be a cool thing to write about.” I was supposed to be holding his hand the entire movie. Bad Maryanne!

6. The few people I’ve worked with over the years who cut me off whenever I spoke about my happiness with my husband. I wasn’t “allowed” to speak of good things with my love because they were having problems with their wives or boyfriends or f*ck buddies. NOT COOL!

So for anyone who thinks jealousy is a “good thing” and it means you care — it doesn’t. It means you have trust issues. It means you’re insecure and can use a major self-esteem boast. It means you have an inferiority complex. It can even mean that YOU have something to hide. (What’s that saying, a man will accuse his chick of cheating if he’s a cheat himself? Oh yeah, I see this a lot!)

The good news is jealousy can be fixed with hard work and good intentions. If you Google “How to Stop Being Jealous” there are many great articles that give excellent tips. Don’t let this ugly disease control your life and emotions.

And to anyone who has hurt me due to jealousy, I am more than willing to forgive if they come to me with an apology that I very much deserve — thankyouverymuch!

jealous

no-jealousy

“JEALOUS AGAIN” by BLACK FLAG

jealousy-the-jealous-are-troublesome-to-others-quote-pq-0154-2012-r

Happiness Now!

Published June 1, 2013 by Maryanne

Happiness

While I always have so many exciting things going on in my life, it’s also important not to overlook the little things that make me happy from day to day. So here’s a little list of the “little” things that have been going on the past few days … in no particular order.

1. I think it’s so great that several people who aren’t on WordPress have created accounts to comment on my blogs (and some from several months back, which is so super cool to know someone likes your blog enough to go back and read previous months!) YEAH, go me!

2. Yesterday I was in a boutique and found a great outfit, including shoes and earrings, for a wedding on Sunday. I love boutiques — not malls. I love the personal touch. I love how in a boutique the owners will run around for you, scouting out the perfect shoe for your outfit. It makes you feel like Julia Roberts in “Pretty Woman” every time!

3. Twice this week I was told — in person (not on the internet) that I  look younger than I am. Once I heard 29 (from a woman around my age) Another time I heard 35 (from a teenage girl). I am 49! So good health habits definitely pay off!

4. I FINALLY got around to learning how to give communion to the home bound. So — YAY — I am now officially part of the Caring Ministry! I also offered to make phone calls to the home bound who may be lonely.

5. MY CAT BILLY IS GETTING HEALTHY AGAIN! I am so happy!! Billy who is 19 was not doing too well. But thanks to some medication recommended by the vet, he is walking better, eating more and no longer hiding! This cat will definitely live to see 20. I am beyond psyched!!

6. I was so inspired by a 15-year-old girl who came to our door selling cookies and candles last night. She had a top notch personality to begin with and she seemed to really like my husband and I because she kept talking to us. One thing she said really touched my heart and soul. She said that she gave a free box of cookies to a mother of an autistic child and paid for it out of her own pocket. She said, “I know how hard life can be.” She also had asthma but was working so hard in the heat. She was such a little doll and so good hearted, I just wanted to adopt her right then and there. At the end of our conversation, I said, “I HAVE to give you a hug!” and I hugged her. Kids like that are the best!

7. I’ve said it before, and I have to say it again — my husband is just the best! It’s such a blessing to have someone constantly on your side, doing so much to make your life happy. He’s just too good! We never take each other for granted. We always call and email each other during the day and send each other pictures of cute animals, make up silly songs for each other. My heart still races when he comes home from work! I LOVE YOU DENNIS!

8. May 2013 was the best money-making “May” since I started my business in 2009! And 80 percent doing what I love best, WRITING! (The other 20 percent of my money was made managing my entertainers and one author). And the beauty of it all is, I’m not busting my ass either. I’ve had many days off, sometimes even four days in a row (not including the holiday weekends) which gave me some extra time to visit church and go to bible studies during the week. NICE!

I love all the editors I am currently working with and all my musical clients and the author. Life is just so perfect when you can work with people you love and respect, even when during times it’s not perfect.

9. Last night I dreamed my grandmother was alive again! She went to a scary movie that I recommended and thanked me for the recommendation. (The movie dream was so scary it woke me up — but then I was able to get up and do some work at 5 a.m. and I love the early mornings!)

10. It’s June and I have at least FOUR concerts to look forward to this month, starting with Jay & the Americans at the IZOD tonite!

There are a lot more, but I’ll stop here because the sun is shining so brightly in my office window and I want to get this wonderful day started!

 

Mid-Week Happiness!

Published May 15, 2013 by Maryanne

 wedding pictureWith my husband, who makes me happiest!

I just had an annoying phone conversation with a self-centered relative and have now made a vow to distance myself from that person because it’s always all about him. This person will go out of his way to aggravate in order to be right — even if he can’t provide an answer as to why he thinks he’s right, when I gave him the opportunity THREE TIMES to explain himself.

I can’t let this relative continue to hurt me — especially since he’s doing it on purpose without an ounce of remorse. (The term for people like this, I believe, is “shit stirrer.”) This is not good for my health, so the decision to avoid is a good one. Some people you can’t even confront or talk. I tried and he didn’t care enough to make an effort when I called him on his crap. Enough is enough. I am not a human punching bag.

So turning that frown upside down …

What I’ve learned, from my husband actually, is to focus on what you have in life, not what you don’t have. And what I don’t get from relatives, I get from friends, from church, from my work and of course from my husband and his family.

So this post I am writing is to show two things: 1. Even though I love my life, it’s not always perfect. Mainly because I never had the perfect family. 2. That no matter what bad things happen to me, I love to focus on the positive.

In just one day, today, many wonderful things happened. But the happiest thing of all is that my editor for Skinny News (the health magazine) praised my writing to high heavens and said what a pleasure it was working with me (over the phone, we never met in person).

I think my work for the week at Skinny News is complete. I have one more article to write for another publication this week and can definitely squeeze in time for mid-week church service and bible study on Friday — yay!

The second happy thing was that for the past week I thought I was having allergy problems again. Yesterday I suffered so much with burning eyes and eye pain — and my vision was blurry in one eye (SCARY!). Then I made the connection, I switched from one mascara to another last week and that was probably the culprit. So today I went back to the original one (Zuzu Luxe masacra  rules — it’s hypoallergenic and doesn’t test on animals!) and my eyes feel great and my vision is back to normal.

The third thing is that my husband is home today. As soon as I finish up I’m making homemade hummus and we’ll go for a walk on this gorgeous day.

The fourth thing is that I have an event very early tomorrow morning, interviewing students for another article. I love the fact that I’ll be getting up extra early and just having time to exercise and eat. I haven’t woke up without checking emails first in ages — so it will be nice to not face the computer until much later in the morning, maybe even noon!

And I shall stop now because my handsome husband just came in my office and smothered me with kisses.

Off to la-la-land I go!

Have a beautiful night, fellow bloggers. Know that some of you make me very happy too! xo

Write to Live, Live to Write!

Published May 3, 2013 by Maryanne

Photo by Ray LitterioMe, from Spring, 2010 (Photo by Ray Litterio)

All week I’ve been putting up articles I’ve had published and haven’t shared anything about my life! I’ve been so busy attending reporting events, even on Sunday, and working on my book, that I’ve had little time for myself except for a bike ride here and there.

I’m just so ecstatic that I’ve been writing so much, the time is just flying by in perfect synch with the most gorgeous weather we’re having here in New Jersey. 

I’m so happy with my three news editors, along with my editor at the Skinny News magazine; as well as all the musicians I manage. I may be managing two more people in the near future, one an author, the other a playwright. Contacts I’ve made through my writing career. I am very excited!

This week was fairly easy. I was only on the road reporting three days (Sunday, Tuesday evening and Thursday morning) and spent a lot of time working on my book (up to Chapter 14, up to 6 with the editing).

The other day I was riding my bike, completely euphoric thinking to myself, wow, I’m writing a book! I still can’t grasp the concept that I’m actually doing it. I finally chose a title: “On the Guest List.”

And I just completed editing the book I’ve been doing with Stefanie for the past few months, “Moonstone Dream.” Her party will be in Montclair in a few weeks. I’m also looking forward to another Dead Man’s Curve (a fun, outdoor event with surf bands, hot rods and celebrities from yesteryear). The car shows and summer concerts will be starting up soon. Yay!

A little downer — my two old cats aren’t doing two well. Derick, 17, has thyroid issues (which have been under control thanks to medication). Billy, 19, has been hiding a lot, losing a lot of weight (down to just six pounds). Round one blood work said minor thyroid but possibly kidney issues. We’re waiting for the second round of blood work. So please keep our kitties in your prayers.

Because of work, I missed a lot of church, but I was so happy to write an article for the church bulletin, which honors an 89-year-old member who has been in the church since 1956.

Every morning I start my day off in prayer and reading the Bible, before I do anything else. It gives me focus and perspective and a beautiful start to the day.  As some of you may know, my eyesight is bad. If I’m not wearing contact lenses, I am wearing thick Buddy Holly glasses. And when I am wearing contact lenses, I wear glasses over them to read. But I keep having dreams that I see perfectly without glasses/contacts. The other night I was in bed with my husband and I saw his face better than usual. I take all this as a message from God — that I am “seeing” the light. My life has never been so perfect as it’s been since I’ve accepted Jesus as my savior. I just love being a Christian and having that feeling of heaven on earth constantly.

And last but not least, I am so in love with my husband and so blessed to have him by my side in all I do.

So that’s my last week or so, in a nutshell. Life is good. Life is a blessing!

 

Journalism Woes Saved by Record Store Day!

Published April 21, 2013 by Maryanne

picture discDavid Bowie “The Jean Genie” picture disc

As a journalist, I have more happy days than bad ones. But yesterday I had a not so pleasant day.

A few months ago I wrote an article promoting an upcoming event. Now, I need to point out that I am a classy journalist. I am not a hardcore paparazzi type that snakes people into getting a story. People either tell me stuff I can use or not. I don’t force people to talk. I make sure all the people I interview are completely comfortable and if discussions get a towards an area that is sensitive or too personal, I simply ask, “IS THIS ON THE RECORD?” to make the person aware that what they are telling me they may later regret when they see it in print.

One of the greatest interviews I ever did in my life was when I interviewed  Sopranos actor Joseph Gannascoli and he confessed to being a food fence. I asked him, “Is this on the record?” He said, “Sure.” I couldn’t believe I got that information out of him! And it made for a great article. You can read it here: https://maryannemistretta.wordpress.com/2012/07/14/a-sauce-to-die-for/

Another great moment in my career in journalism was after interviewing Fred Norris of the Howard Stern Show. When I met him in person a few days after our phone interview he said to me, “You were the only journalist who ever got my story right. I love this article so much I read it to my daughter.”

So now that you know how I operate, I will proceed to tell my story ….

Yesterday when I got to the event that I wrote about a few months ago, the lady who hosted the event asked if I could take the article I wrote off the internet.

I told her that was a professional website, not my own, and I had no control over it and “Why is there a problem?”

Turned out a woman I interviewed told me some things she later felt were too personal to be on the internet and she was bitching about it.

I told the host that it was out of my control and she could speak to my editor about it. I gave her his professional phone number and told her to call him on Monday.

It was an uncomfortable situation for me because it made me feel like I was a rat and did something wrong, when I simply did a job I was hired for to the best of my ability — with class and consideration. I felt so upset throughout the day.

When I got home I wrote the host an email explaining that I did not force that woman  to tell me anything. She agreed to be interviewed. She even spelled out her name for me.

The bottom line is —  the editor is keeping the story online unless the woman tells him directly that what she shared with a reporter was causing her problems.

I think some people truly just love drama.

So I was pretty sad, but my husband participated in Record Store Day and he came home so happy with a bunch of records.

He surprised me with a David Bowie “The Jean Genie” picture disc! This was so cool because my late friend Cyrinda’s picture is on the record! Anything about Cyrinda makes me smile because she was such a girly girl. As beautiful as she was she would always be the first to give a compliment. And she was so funny. Just so real, told it like it was (which reminds me of my late Grandmother). I have nothing but wonderful stuff to say about that woman, may she rest in peace.

Cyrinda Fox and Justin LoveMy late friend Cyrinda Foxe, wearing my coat, and Justin Love

(from party at CBGBs gallery January 2001)

So it’s the little things that can definitely change the mood of the day! (Also the fact that after the event, I found this amazing grocery store that I’ve never seen before called Fairway — with a ton of organic foods and natural products!)

At night I was on the guest list for the Buskin and Batteau show, so my husband and I went to that which was absolutely fabulous! Stay tuned as my next post will be about that show, with pictures! Now I’m off to exercise, eat breakfast, church and then spending the day with my husband, possibly antiquing again.

From a low back to a super high! Life is good.

Pictures from Easter

Published April 3, 2013 by Maryanne

SAM_0460The Easter Bunny came!

After opening my Easter basket, I went to my first Easter service as a Christian.

Then my husband and I headed to Park and Orchard.

 SAM_0473

Dennis and Maryanne, Park & Orchard, March 31, 2013

I’m not showing photos of the food because although it was DELICIOUS, it didn’t look very appetizing! We both had casseroles. Mine was a vegan lasagna with polenta, tofu and spinach. My husband had an eggplant casserole. I had a hard cider beer, one of my favorite drinks — ever!

Then we had dessert at my Mom’s — homemade ice box cake! What a wonderful day!

SAM_0483My nephew, Matthew, 11, and puppies, Alley Marie Paige and Oliver Pancho