NYC

9/11/01

Twelve years later, I went back to my old journal and found the words I wrote on the day [Note: at the time I was working as a self-employed journalist and just became a certified legal proofreader.]

September 11, 2001

This is the worst I’ve felt since my grandmother died. I don’t even know I’m living.

I’m still waiting to hear from some MIA NYC friends. I’m afraid to go to sleep. My friend Ed took me to dinner at a nice Italian restaurant in Upper Montclair. I got all dressed up, hoping to feel a little bit better. We passed the Montclair Art Museum and saw a crowd of people taking pictures of the dark cloud over the NYC skyline.

I’m sick to my stomach.

I received phone calls from people concerned about me since I work so much in NYC, yet I’m the one worrying about everyone else.

I’m confused, wondering if I should continue my career in New York. I don’t think I have the strength to go back for awhile. I can’t just can’t imagine it. Diane was talking about the San Gennaro Feast this weekend, but I can’t see me going there. Ute Lemper, Nick Cave, Jane’s Addiction, Jonathan Richman and all the other shows I planned on seeing during the next few weeks are just fantasies that will give way to dust.

Soooo far away in my little New Jersey town, yet so close. New York City meant so much to me, all of my life. I can direct a stranger to almost anywhere in the city, but a stranger in my hometown will get lost asking me for directions in Little Falls, for I’m never here except to sleep. I’m always in my beloved New York City, working, playing and wandering aimlessly.

A friend made an interesting comment. He said that we think about our lost loved ones and feel sad, but at least they don’t have to deal with this insanity! For once, I can say I am glad my grandmother is not alive.

I pray that everyone is dealing with this the best they could. My heart goes out to all, and to all your loved ones. My friends, my enemies, I wish the best for everyone.

My soul has been ripped out from under me.

I will never be the same again.

Me with my artwork in Union Square, September 2005

I’ve been following a blogger, True Love Junkie, who posts a lot of her AMAZING drawings, that she calls “doodles” — check her out: http://truelovejunkie.com/2012/07/22/doodles-week-2/

Inspired by True Love Junkie, I decided to post this old photo of me in Union Square, NYC, accompanied by my very own “doodles.”

What got me drawing was baby sitting a little girl named Claire in 2004.

At the time she was 8-years-old and we did a lot of drawing together. She actually told me that I was “good!”

The summer of 2005 I had a lot of free time on my hands, working just one 35-hour job at a local newspaper, so I tried my hand at art and went public with it.

My work is very child-like and witty and quite a few people brought my prints and referred to it as “punk art.”

My best seller was a parody on commercialism. It was a drawing of Hello Kitty’s face on Buddha’s body, with the saying, “Hello Buddha!”

Another big seller was a picture of a little girl romping in the sunshine — on the other side of the fence it was dark and Van Gogh-ish. The caption said, “The Grass is Always Greener on MY Side of the Fence.”

But my personal favorite was a drawing of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, with the word “TEMPTATION” in the background, alongside the McDonald’s arch.

Or, the one of a girl flying on a magic carpet over a burning bridge with the saying, “No matter how many bridges I burn, I always end up somewhere!”

Eventually I put my art aside for other things in life, but who knows … someday I will pick up my colored pencils and markers again and do more.

I was also considering selling on Esty … but we shall see!