opinion

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The Flowers of Romance

Published February 9, 2016 by Maryanne

valentines

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and like every year, here come the haters ruining it for the rest of us with their anti-Valentine’s Day rants.

So, once again, I say, get over yourselves, Dear Joy Killers.

Yeah, we don’t need a special holiday to dictate how we feel, but don’t forget St. Valentine was a cool saint, number one, and number two, whenever a whole slew of people are on the same vibe/wavelength, it promotes incredible energy from the universe. So if couples are getting engaged, married or just celebrating their first Valentine’s Day together, it’s a euphoric thrill to bask on that cool/crazy energy. Valentine’s Day isn’t until Sunday, but I’m feeling the groove already.

But haters prevail. Just as we flipped the calendar to read “February” — and so began the “me-me-me” tirades.

As if women aren’t ungrateful enough for the kind things their boyfriends/husbands will do for them, now the latest in Valentine’s hating is the newest generation of feminists dissing on flowers.

And so they moan:

“They’re too expensive.”

“They die.”

“I’d rather have a dinosaur bouquet.” (An ugly dust collector made of polyester — toxic for the environment. And at $39.99, you can definitely get a cheaper flower bouquet).

Then, the most ridiculous reason of all — “Giving flowers means he’s apologizing for doing something bad.”

Give me a break! Just because giving flowers could be a beautiful peace treaty, don’t insult the intelligence and kindness of a good man who gives flowers “just because.”

Just a mere 13 years ago I was still single (and still working in an office) and my boyfriend at the time unexpectedly sent a bouquet to my office — for no reason at all. I was thrilled.

A co-worker saw them and commented, “Was he bad?”

I didn’t know what she meant by that. I thought she was making an S&M reference, so I said, “yeah” and winked at her. Not realizing, at the time, she was making a catty remark; that a guy wouldn’t do such a nice thing. Then it dawned on me later. I could never look that woman in the eye again. That kind of negativity towards men is not for me.

I feel so sorry for those types of women — the man haters, the feminists, and the distrusting who always think a nice gesture has an an ulterior motive. These women will never be happy in the romance department. And the sad thing is, I’m sure many of them are hooked up with poor slobs who will never be appreciated; the kind of guys who can’t do enough for them.

But, I’m an old-fashioned kind of girl who loves flowers! My husband and I often give each other flowers “just because.” They’re pretty. They make the house smell nice. And, yes, they die, but that’s symbolic of the circle of life.

Last fall I treated myself and put a bouquet of flowers in my home office. When they dried out, I left them because they still looked pretty. Then my husband surprised me with new “winter style” bouquet. And then after that a brighter one, as we were enjoying a very mild New Jersey winter so the bright flowers looked absolutely gorgeous as the sun beat through the window.

After four years of marriage, and 10 years together, I am still madly in love with my husband; and incredibly happy for everyone around me who is madly in love with their significant others. (And appreciates old fashioned romantic gestures). ❤

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is the author of “Love Cats” (where the lead character, Beck, is a GREAT GUY!) http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1681020513

Stinky Smokers

Published January 24, 2016 by Maryanne

Stinky smokingSmoking = a stinky, nasty habit

Last weekend my husband and I went away for a few days. Once again we were upgraded to a suite in the hotel because we weren’t even there one second when I noticed that the patrons before us were smoking. Mind you, it was a supposed to be a non-smoking hotel. But what really got me is that it was also a no-pet hotel. We could have easily been sneaky and brought our cat in and no one would have been the wiser. Yeah, some pet owners don’t clean up after their animals and they could be destructive, but for the most part, pet owners are clean people and control their pets. You can’t say the same about smokers. The nicotine fit kicks in and the cigarettes are whipped out faster than a greased rat’s ass. Smokers have zero control over this nasty habit and leave their disgusting butts all over the place.

What makes someone smoke is beyond me. Cigarettes smell and leave a stench that lasts for eternity. When I was a little girl, my grandmother would have several cigarettes lit at one time. I’d go around, ashtray to ashtray and put them all out. She’d get mad at me, but that never stopped me from doing it again. And again and again. Later on in life, cigarette smoking attributed to her diabetes complications and Grandma had her leg amputated. There are television commercials that illustrate this, yet people continue to smoke like chimneys. Some women use smoking as a weight loss tool, with no regard for what could happen to them down the line. Just another sad illustration of how we live in a world where people are ruled by selfish instant gratification.

As a young girl, I once asked a male friend what is the biggest turn off. Without hesitation, he said, “A woman who smokes. That is not sexy.”

I have to agree with him. All the years of seeing so many of my favorite actors or rock stars with a cigarette dangling from their mouth, I felt incredibly disappointed. A pretty boy can turn real ugly with one of those dreadful things coming out of his lips. Ew.

But aside from the stench, aside from the fact that it’s totally disgusting, and aside from the fact that smoking is a health crisis, what bothers me most about smokers is, as I said above, how inconsiderate they are. When I was still single and living in an apartment complex, the couple below me smoked like chimneys. They had a bucket near their door filled with sand and cigarette butts. Just looking at that turned my stomach. Once they moved in, I could no longer sit outside on the back porch. The smell made me gag. When I complained to the supervisor, those tools retaliated and said that I made too much noise. Note, I was in that apartment from 1991 to 2005 and none of the other couples below me complained. But try to come between a smoker and his/her cigarettes and it’s like trying to pry food out of a Pitbull’s mouth … it just ain’t happening.

And I don’t know what’s worse: the blatant in-your-face smokers who shamelessly light up with no regard to who they are annoying. Or the sneaky ones who lie about it. The episodes of “Sex and the City” where Aidan wanted Carrie to quit smoking was so on the money. I worked with women who were engaged and lied to their fiances about smoking.

One day years before I became self-employed, I was working for a publishing company in Hoboken. Hoboken, New Jersey was a great place to work in the late 1990s. There were health food stores, indie bookstores, and indie record shops before corporate Hipsterville took over and homogenized it. But, yeah, back in the day, I’d freely roam the streets and even though Hoboken is like a little Manhattan, you could easily jaywalk from side to side. That’s exactly what I did if a smoker was approaching me. I’d simply cross to the other side of the street so I didn’t have to smell his/her stench.

Anyway, I worked with one of those lying smokers. I’ll never forget, it was either spring or fall — one of those seasons where you either need a jacket, or you don’t. I made the mistake of asking a smoker, “When you went out for your cigarette, how was the weather?”

She didn’t hear the “how was the weather?” part — only the part about “cigarette.” The woman went into a ballistic rage about how she DOESN’T SMOKE! She was yelling at me, embarrassing herself, for at least seven minutes straight. Then she didn’t talk to me anymore after that.

Did I deserve that? Not at all. Yet other smokers defended her and said I should have asked her about the weather without saying, “when you went out for your cigarette.” That is the smoking mentality … people who smoke make no sense. It’s okay that their smoking offends everyone, but not okay if someone speaks up about it.

Isn’t it my right to live in a world with clean, fresh air? Why do I have to suffer for your nasty, stinky habit that you obviously have no control over? Why is it okay for smokers to brazenly light up in a hotel room (and get away with it) when a pet owner would never dare bring a pet into a hotel that says “no pets”?

After three days, when my husband and I came home and opened the door to our house, it smelled SO GOOD. Was it because even after a hotel upgrade, I still had smoke on the brain? Maybe. Once that smell gets up your nose (and into your lungs) it’s a helluva gross thing to forget.

I took a great big whiff of our non-smoking house and then picked up my cat and gave him a big hug, taking in a big whiff of his natural, beautiful kitty smell! If I have to be addicted to something, I’m so glad it’s my cat! ❤

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is the author of “Love Cats” available on Amazon in Kindle and paperback versions: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1681020513

To My Single Male Friends, I’m REALLY Not Interested in Your Conquests

Published December 28, 2015 by Maryanne

neanderthal

As a happily married woman, I hate to shun single people, but when it comes to guy friends, I have to be honest, I prefer the company of happily married ones (or happily committed ones).

For one, happily married/committed men are more interesting. They are inspiring because they always talk lovingly about their wives. You can joke around with them about anything and know they’ll never hit on you. You’ll talk about a variety of topics such as music, films, animals, food, politics, etc. and never get bored. Plus, they’ll love to hear about your husband too! I kid you not, happily married/committed men are rarely threatened by other males. They’ll always be like, “Tell your husband I said ‘Hi!'”

While my single female friends are a lot of fun to be around, my single male friends … well, I’m really starting to dread my lunch dates with them. You sit down and it’s only a matter of seconds before they start whipping out the phone and showing photos of their latest “hope to conquests” they found on Facebook or Match Dot Com.

Yawn.

Hey guys, why does me saying, “Oh, she’s pretty!” (because I have nothing else to go on) validate you? How about waiting until you are in a REAL relationship (a healthy one that lasts more than a month) and THEN tell me that her beautiful looks match her beautiful soul? Then we can all double date and have good conversations; not cringe-worthy ones that stroke your ego and take up 90 percent of the lunch date (without me getting in one sentence edgewise about how much I absolutely adore my incredible husband!)

It is only fair that I can talk about my great husband too, right? But my happiness doesn’t seem of interest to you. You just want a sounding board for your potential conquests, which makes me feel bad because that tells me our friendship isn’t important as it once was, otherwise you’d be a bit more enthusiastic to hear about my life and what I’ve been up too. Plus, deep down I know that once you do fall in love with someone, if she’s a jealous type and/or doesn’t approve of me, we just might not be friends anymore.

But what’s worse of all is that those cool, intelligent, interesting, funny male friends I’ve known since my teens, 20s and 30s, have turned into in-a-hurry-to-have-a-relationship tail chasers once they hit their 40s and 50s. What a shame, because this isn’t the type of single guy I’d introduce to a single girl friend. So, on second thought, let’s cancel our lunch date.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is the author of “Love Cats” available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1681020513

Attack of the Psycho Vegans (Written by a Former Vegan)

Published September 26, 2015 by Maryanne

vegans my food shits on your food

Note: This is about the vegan extreme, elitists. I do have two friends left who are vegan and non-judgmental. This isn’t about them or any sane vegan I’ve yet to meet, but I seriously need to vent for the sake of my health and sanity.

I never thought I’d see the day I’d be writing a blog like this.

First of all, I love animals and I was a vegetarian most of my adult life — 28 years. During those 28 years I tried being vegan several times. However, it didn’t work for me. I’d get to that 10-month mark and all of a sudden I’d get dizzy spells and back aches. Doctors couldn’t explain it. Then I’d be told to “eat some meat.”

Stubborn, I didn’t listen.

But that was back in my 20s, 30s, and even 40s. I got by not eating meat until two springs ago. I was having dizzy spells every single morning. It was suggested by not one, not two, but three holistic health care practitioners that I’d be better off eating some meat. I argued that I hated the taste. “But did you ever have real, grass-fed beef?” one asked.

“No, I hate it.”

Finally after much reading and investigating, particularly in the book “Paleo Manifesto” by John Durant, reading the bad news about soy, I said a prayer to the animals and got some grass-fed beef.

Moving forward, I pray over my food when I eat. In the beginning, I needed a lot of beef to make blood. Within two months I felt better. No more dizzy spells! And for a year straight my blood pressure was finally normal. As a vegetarian, it was always too low, borderline anemic. Now at 52, I feel and look better than I did my entire life!

With the exception of eating grass-fed beef only once a month now, I am still for my animals. I do not buy any products that test on them. My favorite items are Gabrielle Lux mascara and Mineral Fusion.

Friends who waved the vegan flag — well, now I’m down to just two because the rest were so freaking judgmental about me eating meat they are no longer friends but we’ll get to that in a second — were still wearing mascara that tested on animals “because it’s cheap”; still drinking wine that is processed through a bone char filter (they had no explanation for that one, they just turned it back on me, calling me a murderer); and eating cheese (that uses animal rennet) while pointing their fingers (can someone please tell me why it’s okay to eat the lining of a sheep’s stomach but not a piece of grass-fed beef?)

Hypocritical? You bet!

And it goes on and on and on and never stops. Vegans turn a blind eye not only to their own sins, but their own insanity. They defend animals, but aren’t other human beings animals too? Hello, I was once your friend! We broke gluten-free bread together. But now that I’m old and need a different kind of fuel in my gas tank — because soy and grass ain’t cutting it for me anymore — I should be scorned and harassed? Should I not be healthy to take care of my cats? Should I not be healthy to stay alive and keep buying products that don’t test on animals? Should I not be healthy so I can continue operating my animal rights group that is anti-trophy hunting?

No, I guess not. Because for two months I’ve been verbally abused on-line for having an animal rights group and not being vegan. I retaliated by making fun of psycho vegans because this is how I deal with stress — I give assholes a taste of their own bad medicine.

Well, a vegan “friend” didn’t like this and took offense. Instead of seeing that I was hurting and reaching out instead she chose to lash out  — true vegan style: not making sense, just seeing it her way, being self-absorbed and making it all about her (oh, by the way, this is the one who uses cheap non-cruelty free mascara).

I explained my situation … “Don’t take my venting personally. It’s not about you. I am just so drained of vegans telling me I can’t have an animal group because I eat meat once a month. I am so drained of vegans insulting me, putting me down and bullying me.”

If you slap a dog in the face enough times, the dog is going to bite you back. It’s a no-brainer. But vegans are so cult-minded, they don’t see other human beings as people … people who bleed, hurt, and cry out. In other words — heartless. YES, vegans are heartless. Anyone who can treat another human being like a piece of shit and then go on with their lives is not a nice person.

Now, the “friend” I mentioned previously …  A year ago she had financial problems. She was a single mom. I felt bad and created a children’s program so she could use her talents and make some money. I got us booked in many libraries, especially during Earth Day. Thanks to me, she made a lot of money. And in her last email to me, the bitch had the gall to write, “Since you make fun of vegans, I don’t want to be your friend anymore, but we can still work together.”

That blew my mind. A male friend said, “She has balls!” He was just as shocked as I was. Wow. Just WOW!

Then it dawned on me … this is why it’s nearly impossible to be friends with most vegans. They’re not capable of being a friend. They use animals as a clutch. I don’t even think they really love animals because I’ve seen a few vegans around animals and it’s weird … they don’t swoon the way non-vegans do.

Extreme veganism is a religion. But don’t call them “religious.” That’s another vegan “no-no.” Last year around Christmas time, the vegan “friend” went on an anti-Jesus rampage. As someone who believes in Jesus, I was offended, but I live and let live. I never questioned her motives, I let her have her rant (like a good friend would). Shame she never gave me the same consideration.

Extreme vegans are insecure people who are using a title to give themselves a sense of belonging. They are searching, but somehow hit a wall because they can’t go beyond what is black and white. This is where the cult-mindset and irrationality comes in. This is why even an animal lover like myself can adore someone like hunter Ted Nugent who takes it to the other extreme, but at the moment can be the voice of reason because you’re so sickened by these holier than thous who drive you to the point of insanity, making you want to grasp on to anything that is the complete opposite of what they are. Kinda of defeats their purpose, right? How ironic for them.

The reality is not everyone can be vegan or vegetarian. My mother is a vegetarian, but when she had open heart surgery, she had to have a cow valve. A cow saved my mother’s life. And here is a woman who called Johnson and Johnson and told them they were “disgusting” for testing on animals. Here is a woman who raised a beautiful Chihuahua that lived 15 years (much longer than the average Chihuahua life span because of all the love she gave her!) Just like my cats. My Billy Cat lived to 19. And now my Derick is 19 and still going strong. If I wasn’t a good person who treated animals with utmost respect, these cats would have been long gone.

But extreme vegans don’t see this. They just want to be haters. And judge. And bully.

And now, let me go one better on you … During my 28 years as a vegetarian, from age 23 to 50, I never judged anyone for eating meat. In my late 20s I had a long-term relationship with a hunter, who froze the deer meat and fed his family. He was a beautiful animal lover. We actually rescued many animals together who we saw wounded in the streets. It was simply meant to be because those animals were right in our pathway, waiting to be saved.

It’s the same thing now with me and my husband. I can’t count how many times we’ve rescued animals together. The cutest was a recent incident when a family of baby raccoons were trying to cross the street. I stopped traffic and my husband guided them into a safe wooded area! It was the most adorable thing!

I know many meat eaters who are also animal communicators. They have an incredible, admirable bond with animals. It’s super inspiring to see that. These are helpless, little babies who need us. And we need them just as much because they provide a safe haven. They are not just animals, they are little souls.

And so are humans …

So don’t forget this, Dear Vegan Extremist, the next time you want to hate and lash out. Take your ego somewhere else. Have a little taste of some humble pie (lard-free of course!) and stop with the judgements. Do a little research. Know that you are not always right and your way isn’t the only way. Just because I’m not a vegan, you have ZERO right to tell me I don’t love animals. Try telling that one to my cat! He’ll turn his nose up at you — for sure!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is the founder of R.O.A.R. (Respect Our Animals’ Rights), a refreshing animal rights group that isn’t vegan! She’s also the author of “Love Cats” available on Amazon in paperback or kindle editions: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1681020513

30-Something is Not “So Young”

Published July 6, 2015 by Maryanne

30Responsible

I’ll never forget when I first realized how delusional younger people were. I was in my early 40s and still working for “the man” in a newsroom. The younger generation — girls in their 20s — seemed so much more childish then I was at their age. They squealed like pigs over silly things, talked too loud on their cell phones and couldn’t take criticism. And it was “okay” because they were “so young.”

Now this trend of being coddled, not taking responsibility and being downright selfish is carrying over to the 30s and even 40s! Where did this immature mindset come from?

When I was a kid, 21 was considered “old.” There was a saying, back then, “Never trust anyone over 30.” A three year generation gap between age 16 and 19 was huge! At 16 I was sneaking into bars with a fake ID. By 19, I was in bed by 8 p.m., working a full time job and going to night school. By 22 I had my first apartment.

I’m now 51. I could take it as a compliment when people say I don’t look it or act it. But is it really a compliment? Three people in the past week told me I could pass for someone in my 30s. But I don’t want to. Most young people today have a scary, sad way about them. Now I’m not speaking of ALL young people. I have some very lovely friends and nieces in their 20s and 30s that absolutely rock. But I do speak of the majority.

I’ve been age-shamed more than once by younger women and I pity them for their attitude. Fearing age and insulting other people because they are older then you is a pathetic existence. Your only other alternative is death. Though with such negative attitudes, I can guarantee 90 percent of these women won’t look as good as I do when they reach my age because negativity goes straight to the bone. And sooner or later truth shows up all over your face. Believe it!

There’s a song by The Stooges called “Your Pretty Face is Going Straight to Hell” and that’s exactly what I’m thinking when pretty young women are nasty and condescending to others. I’ve witnessed it firsthand and karma is a bitch — an unforgiving on at that. I used to work with an extremely gorgeous young woman. We were both in our 30s at the time. At first we were friends, then she showed her true colors. She bitched at me because I drank too much. She said, “I’m vain and drinking ages you. We CAN’T go out drinking all the time like this.” She complained about everything and was a control freak. I told her she was a “nit picker” but that was an understatement. Truth be told, she was disgusting. So much so I couldn’t stand to be in her company anymore. The prettiest girl I ever saw in my life turned ugly right before my eyes. I ran into her in later years. She was still bitter and now old before her time.

Another young person I used to work with, a male, used to harass me every day, whispering and making fun of me and turning young women against me (and the ding dongs went along with him! DUH!) It got to the point where I was absolutely uncomfortable going to work. I asked an older male co-worker, “What the fuck did I ever do to HIM?”

He replied, “You turned forty.”

Interesting, soon following, that guy had a string of bad karma. A tree branch fell on the roof of his car, his wife got into a bus accident and I heard through the grapevine that he wasn’t the good writer everyone thought he was — his “facts” were incorrect and he had pissed off many locals.

I recently saw his picture on Face Book. The dude looks older than me! Now he was never much to look at to begin with, but when I saw how fast he aged, I had to laugh. Payback is a bitch! Because like I said, if you’re ugly inside, it catches up with you. I guess you can also say, God watches.

Aside from what a person looks like, some say you’re as old as you feel. I’m proud to say I do feel my age — 51 (and a half!) Honestly I wouldn’t want to “feel” 30 again. Think back to how it was in your 20s and 30s — full of piss and vinegar. But in your 40s and 50s you develop a beautiful sense of peace. You know how to relax. You don’t always have to be right. You let things go. You’re not antsy to get out. You like to go to bed early and snuggle. It’s a BEAUTIFUL place to be! (And I never threw a shoe in my 40s or 50s).

And what is the alternative to growing old? Dying young? Sadly half these 20 and 30-somethings are dead already. Their negative attitude tells me so. There’s an old saying, “Youth is wasted on young.” Well it’s wasted on the not-so-young 20 and 30-somethings too!

I pity these people.

I’ve been an old soul since the age of 12, wishing to be 18. And once I got there, I embraced every step of the game. And I have diaries to prove it.

I choose life!

SAM_7927Age 51 and a half! Silly, happy and always having fun!

Who’s car is this? I don’t know, but I like it! 🙂

I Wanna Be Where the Boys Are!

Published July 3, 2015 by Maryanne

records 2The best girls are diehard music fans!

Big truth here (and what my husband says makes me special ♥).

Whenever there’s an event, other wives/girlfriends run off to smoke a cigarette, take selfies in the bathroom, check their smart phones …. whatever! But I’m happy being left behind with my very good looking husband and all the other guys talking about MUSIC!

An interesting stereotype right? But 90 percent of the time it is true.

I’ve been a diehard music fan since I was a kid. (It’s all documented in my book “On the Guest List: Adventures of a Music Journalist” (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/162903908X). And from day one, it was apparent that girls weren’t as interested in music as I was. One of my touchy little girlfriends scolded me saying I talked about Freddie Mercury too much. My mom said she was right.

I felt defeated until I realized, that’s exactly the kind of girl a guy likes — one who knows music. And for that very reason, I always had more guy friends than girlfriends. A guy once said to me, “Every girl wants to be told she’s different. But you … you’re really different!”

I wrote about this on Face Book yesterday and surprisingly, I got the “thumbs up” from quite a few of my female friends! It lead to an hour long conversation from one girl I was friends with in the 1990s. We took a walk down memory lane discussing all the bands we saw together and then shared the highlights of some of our favorites that we saw in later years. It was the most fun I had on Face Book in ages and I don’t see something like that happening again soon, as females bonding over music is rare. This is why, in my second book, “Love Cats” (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00YBGVJQS/) I had two girlfriends, Janey and Valerie, being big music fans.  This way, the book could be more attractive to male readers who normally wouldn’t read chick lit.

Actor Scott Schiaffo, best known for his role as the Chewlies Man in Kevin Smith’s “Clerks,” endorsed “Love Cats” saying, “Maryanne’s zeal for life and passion for creativity shines through in all of her work. Here in her first book of fiction she gives us multidimensional characters mitigating love and growing pains as they manicure their pop culture lifestyle at the tail end of the ’80s. It’s romance — Gen X style! I could not get enough of Janey and Beck.”

I was thrilled that Scott enjoyed my little romance novel. Of course with so many musical references you can’t go wrong when it comes to hip guys from the Gen X generation! And that’s just it … guys who are big music freaks really are the best guys. I always found musicians and music fans to be the deepest, smartest, funniest, dedicated and most honest. Sure, there are some that fit the stereotype of being cheaters and assholes, but there’s definitely more that are not. In our circle, all the musicians and music lovers are super guys that anyone would enjoy being around. Hey, maybe that’s why I don’t mind being left at bar with them!

So, ladies, perhaps I can inspire you … when your group runs off to wherever for whatever, why not stay behind? That’s where all the fun is!

Now enjoy some cool tunes:

Valentine’s Day is Coming, Hide Your Love from the Green-Eyed Monsters!

Published February 5, 2013 by Maryanne

Love - oceanI want everyone to know how much I love you!

(But not everyone deserves to know!)

Many years ago a co-worker told me this most amazing, off the hook Valentine’s Day her husband had planned for her.

I was still single and in awe of their love and the generous, creative gift he was giving her. This couple also had the most beautiful little boy. What a gorgeous, gorgeous family — all three of them!

I was not only thrilled to hear about her Valentine’s Day, but honored that she liked me enough to share the news with me! Why? Because I was the only person she told about the trip. She didn’t want to tell others because she feared jealousy. But I was trusted because I’m not that way and I can be totally happy for someone else. And I sure was!

When people fall in love, they want to share it to the world! And they do. Wedding vows are said out loud for all to hear. Hands are held in public. Some even make-out in their cars during red lights. Those in love float around with such a glow on their faces, there is no denying who is in love! And all our loved ones are happy for us when we fall in love.

But not everyone is in love with love. And now that I’m happily married — I totally understand where this girl was coming from in not wanting to cast her precious jewels before swine.

The green-eyed monster and bitter pill gets some people BIG TIME. And it never ceases to amaze me what creepy bullshit comes out of people’s mouths. They make their envy so obvious!

Sometimes it takes me awhile to pick up on this ugly behavior because I see the good in everyone. But once it’s evident that someone is jealous of my relationship with my husband, I clamp my mouth shut — not only about him but about everything else in my life. Because if someone is jealous about love, they’ll be jealous of other aspects of your life too, such as career, creativity, your other friendships, maybe money if you have it (I sure don’t! LOL!)

I will not share what I do on weekends with a bitter person. I don’t share the creative things I’ve done with my husband. And if a jealous person asks about him, I’ll simply give a sharp one-word answer and change the subject.

It will go something like this:

Q: “How was your weekend?”

A: “Terrific…………” (word dragged out to put emphasis on: “I don’t want to talk about it to you, please go away” as I turn my head and make no eye contact) ….

Conversation done!

I just refuse to participate in negativity. No ifs, ands or buts about it!

Misery may love company, but I’m sorry, I’m just not miserable. Get over it!

I hate acting like this because by nature, I’m a sweet, honest and loving person. Just a mere mortal on this planet who is happily in love (isn’t that what life is all about?), not just with my husband, but with life itself!

I’m certainly not a celebrity desperately seeking privacy!  I’d love to just live naturally as possible, talking casually about my life, my friends, my pets, my family, and of course my husband.

I hate secrets. I hate censoring conversation. I hate trying to avoid conversation with certain people.

However, when it comes to jealousy, there really is something to that saying, “Do not cast your jewels before swine.”

Love is something very precious and special, that should be cherished and held close to your heart and I just can’t see sharing something about my relationship to someone that’s going to be resentful, envious and try to mock what I have.

But the beauty is, I have many friends who are also in beautiful relationships that I can share things with.

And I thank God for them!

And I also thank God for those who aren’t in beautiful relationships — YET (but they will be!)

Because it just shows that not everyone is jealous and there are SO MANY fantastic people out there

People who know that there is so much LOVE in this world for everyone, including themselves someday

(YES! That’s what I always thought for me!)

God provides to all who truly want.

And if it’s love you want, there is PLENTY out there, just waiting for YOU!

(And when it happens please feel free to share with me, because I’ll be the happiest for YOU!)