pets

All posts tagged pets

A Client’s Dog Almost Bit Me

Published October 13, 2022 by Maryanne
Photo by insung yoon on Unsplash

I love animals.

Though I am a cat person, I love dogs too.

I’m the person dogs run up to in the streets, begging for a kiss. I get down on my knees and they slobber all over me. Owners apologize, but I LOVE doggy kisses!

About a month ago I scored a new client for a project that couldn’t be done remotely.

I was ecstatic to see the client had a little doggie. Immediately I was rubbing the dog’s belly during a free in-house consult which I offer all potential clients..

During the consult, the client wanted to see pictures of my kitties. When I handed the phone to her, the dog flipped out and began barking. It scared the shit out of me. Obviously passing a phone over a dog’s head was not a good idea. Nevertheless, I took on the project, assuming this was a one-time incident.

I was wrong.

Shortly afterwards, there was another incident. I was working for awhile and then got up to use the bathroom. The dog ran up to me, growled and jumped up to my stomach and grabbed my shirt with his teeth. I was terrified. I never had an experience like this in my life.

As a professional, I tried to work through my fears and continued to see the client. Whenever I was there, the dog barked and whimpered while contained in a large cage. The client caved and took the dog out on a leash. Often when the dog saw me, he barked and growled. It freaked me out. I’ve had other clients with dogs and cats. Never a problem.

When a neighbor came to visit, she shared that the dog nipped her!

A few more incidents happened, but I will not get into it. You get the picture.

I started to get a guilt complex and thought I was doing something wrong. I began having nightmares. Do I have a fear of dogs? Should I see a therapist for this “problem”? After much research, and chatting with friends who owned dogs, the answer was no. The problem wasn’t me, but the client.

Here is why:

  1. Dogs need to be trained and socialized, early on, not spoiled.
  2. The dog owner is the master. When dogs bark at guests, there should be a signal, telling the dog to stop. A dog should not jump on guests. (Note, if a dog is friendly, I LOVE when he/she jumps on me. It’s adorable! But when they are growling and showing teeth, that is not a good sign).
  3. If a guest is afraid of your dog, it’s not on them, it’s on you. Keep the dog contained in an area so your guest can feel safe. Holding a dog on a leash, isn’t good enough.

Two days after getting down on myself for this experience, I came to my senses. I am NOT afraid of dogs, only dogs that are territorial and not trained properly. Soon afterwards, I pet two dogs in the street that I never saw before. I got sweet kisses from them. I felt safe. And happy.

Yes, I love dogs. I am not afraid of dogs. That is my truth. I won’t let one bad experience define me as an animal lover. There are no bad dogs; only uneducated dog owners.

If you liked this blog, feel free to buy me a kombucha: https://ko-fi.com/maryannechristianomistretta

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

Visit my business page, Pear Tree Enterprises, at: https://peartreeenterprises.wordpress.com/

Celebrating Cat Mommy Day

Published May 10, 2022 by Maryanne
Celebrating at a favorite vegan restaurant

Two days ago Mother’s Day was celebrated in the USA.

Although I do not have human children–by choice–I am the “mom” to three amazing cats. For those who don’t have cats, or don’t view pets as family, you can stop reading now, as you will not relate to what I’m about to say. But for those of you who do see cats as family — read on, this is for YOU!

Taking in these wondrous creatures who put 100 percent trust in us in incredibly rewarding. They are little souls who had a history before us, and it’s up to us to make their lives as comfy as possible. We have to take the time to make the connection. It takes some patience, but in many cases a cat will be as loving and welcoming as a dog.

Our babies are spoiled, but they also know their boundaries. With a firm, but sweet, “No, we don’t do that…” my kitties know not to pounce on the computer when Mommy is working. They do not scratch our furniture because we have scratching posts in most of the rooms in our home.

With tender love, and care, cats can be dream cats. There is no such thing as a “bad cat” — only a stressed or sad cat. Any type of cat can be trained to be a good one. It’s a mutual respect that works both ways.

I’m wishing a Happy (Belated) Cat Mommy Day to all the good cat mothers out there. Thank you for taking the time to put the effort into these sweet babies and giving them great lives! I appreciate you! (And so do your kitties — but you knew that!)

Sammy
Nicholas
Happy

If you liked this blog, feel free to buy me a kombucha: https://ko-fi.com/maryannechristianomistretta

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

Stepping Into Something New

Published May 3, 2022 by Maryanne
May 2021

I came across this photo of myself on Facebook from a year ago. The caption was “Step into Monday like a champion.” I liked the concept of me taking a step in the photo, with the caption of stepping into something positive.

To caption the same photo today, it would say “Step into Something New.”

Doing something new isn’t always instant. It takes months, or even years, of thought. Seeds are planted. Ideas comes up. And then you do something about it.

May 2021, we were still in the pandemic. This was around the time I decided I wanted to switch careers. Mind you, writing will always be in my heart, and in some way or another I will always be a writer. Hell, I’m still getting royalty checks from my books. But after you see your books in Barnes & Noble stores, you’ve reached a pinnacle. Where do I go from here? I can keep doing the same thing, continue writing books and articles. Or I can try something different that is also dear to my heart. Why not? You’re never too old to learn.

Last spring, I dabbled in art as a hobby. And then became a certified feline behaviorist.

Yes, cats are my favorite animals. But I love all animals, especially the furry little critters like hamsters, chinchillas, mice, rats, and guinea pigs. I’m also fascinated with fish. And birds.

I see these gentle creatures and it calms me. I want to learn more about them. How to befriend them. How to make them not be frightened. I want to also learn from them. What is it like to be so small in a world so big?!

I’ve investigated what careers there are that involve working with animals. I found something and am now on my way to a certification as small animal specialist!

Will this new career work out as successfully as my writing career? Time will tell.

But I am ecstatic to begin something new, with pets showing me the way! I look forward to working with my new teachers!

Photo swiped from Google

If you liked this blog, buy me a kombucha: https://ko-fi.com/maryannechristianomistretta

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

I’m Vegan and Other Vegans Make Me Cringe

Published April 15, 2022 by Maryanne
Let Go of Your Ego

Though I’ve used cruelty free products since 1996, I haven’t officially become a vegan until last summer.

I think what took me so long was the fact that the certified bat shit crazy vegan troupe was stuck in my brain. I had to separate myself from them first in order to make that final leap.

No matter what I say in this post, some crazy vegan will see it and argue with me. But I dare just ONE vegan to come forward and say, “You’re right.” Because I am. Because non-vegans agree with me.

Vegans make loving animals seem like a cult. Trust me, I’ve been to the Peta House back in 1998, during one of the many times I’ve dabbled in veganism since 1986 when I first gave up meat.

They are downright NASTY to anyone who disagrees with them and use their vegan card as a badge of ego, being condescending to others and being overly proud of their vegan knowledge.

It’s discouraging to those who want to change to become vegan, because they don’t want to be like that. And meat eaters just laugh at us because of how insane we are.

Here are some of the over-the-top, ultra-ridiculous vegan “things” I — as a fellow vegan — disagree with:

  1. Vegans who won’t date non-vegans. This is so ego-driven it’s sickening. You are alienating yourself from others and acting superior. It’s also a missed opportunity. If you date someone who isn’t vegan, you are exposing him/her to vegan foods and helping animals by getting a meat eater to give up meat meals a few times a week. It’s like how plant-based eaters go for their Meatless Mondays. It is NOT a bad thing and shame on you vegans for judging others. Date whoever you want! Do not listen to kooky vegans!
  2. Vegans who don’t keep cats as pets because cats can’t be vegan. This is just wrong. Yes, farm animals deserve to live, but so do our pets. Cats can survive outside, but the odds are against them. If you live in a city, they can get hit by a car. If you live in the country, they could get attacked by coyotes. It’s a thin line here, but not everything is black and white. It’s gray. When I feed my cats, I say a prayer to the farm animals and hope that someday scientists can come up with a better solution. So shut the fuck up you vegan control-freak hypocrite! I have three cats and they will not be vegans because that is cruelty to animals! I took an old cat out of an animal shelter and adopted him. If you see something wrong with this, you are a cruel, weird individual.
  3. Vegans who alienate themselves from non-vegans. This is weird too. They won’t go to non-vegan restaurants. Or they go and look sad the whole time because they’re not getting the full vegan experience. It’s not about YOU! We are on this planet to get along with other people. Just live and let live. I would like to believe that everyone will become vegan in due time. But why shun others who are not? For whatever reason, they don’t make the connection about why eating animals isn’t cool, but who the fuck are we to judge them? I sound angry because I am angry about how condescending vegans can be. There are MANY non-vegans who do great things for animals, whether it’s donating to shelters, adopting not shopping, volunteering for animal rescues, and so on. Yet, you continue to preach and judge them! Fellow vegans, I am ASHAMED of you, and cringe that I am in YOUR elitist club!

We need a NEW name for the vegans who aren’t this way. Those who are compassionate towards others who aren’t vegans but love animals. Those who admire others who aren’t vegan but who are doing their best. THAT is who I am as a vegan. If you’re not a vegan and you’re a great pet mommy or daddy, I ADMIRE YOU! If you’re not a vegan, but you make an effort eating plant-based meals, I ADMIRE YOU! If you’re not a vegan, but you sign petitions for justice for animals that have been abused, I ADMIRE YOU!

Do not let these OTHER vegans put you down. This is not my troupe! I honestly am disgusted by them. And believe me, while many ARE like that, not all of us are.

I would LOVE to hear from fellow vegans who agree with what I have to say. And for those vegans who don’t agree, I DO NOT want to hear from you, because I’ve heard ENOUGH from you for the past several decades and you are DEAD WRONG! I’m so glad I am not like you!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

National Puppy Day 2022

Published March 23, 2022 by Maryanne
My friend Jayne’s Bernadoodle, Bear
Henry, Italian Greyhound
Lenny

This crazy cat lady is bombarding you all with lots of Puppy love on this special day!

Happy National Puppy Day to all!

And, finally, for National Puppy Day ❤ Here’s a cute little poem I wrote several years ago in honor of my Mom’s Chihuahua, Fawn (RIP). Although the poem was for Fawn, I think it relates to many small dogs who think they are bigger than they really are, which is always so endearing. ENJOY!

Combat Chihuahuas Unite!

She’s such a little lady

She’s the perfect companion

But better watch your step because

She thinks she’s a Doberman!

Combat Chihuahuas Unite!

Her bark protects her master

She’s a killer dog from Hell

Fighting crime, she has no time

But she’ll break for Taco Bell!

Combat Chihuahuas Unite!

So pretty in her doggy cape

She may be the cat’s meow, but

“Get this damn thing off me!

I wanna get naked now!”

Combat Chihuahuas Unite!

And when the day is over

When it’s time to go to bed

She’s no longer known as “killer”

She’s just a weary sleepy head.

Little Combat Chihuahua “Night night!”

copyright: Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta

In loving memory of Fawn

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

Love Your Pet Day 2022

Published February 20, 2022 by Maryanne
Nicholas

I should have known something was up because Nicholas came to our bed at 4 a.m. wanting snuggles – not food. He started out between my husband and I and worked his way over to me. He just knew today was Love Your Pet Day! My husband and I are the proud pet parents of three beautiful cats!

Give your babies extra love on this special day!

Sammy
Happy

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

Bloganuary Challenge – Day 17 – What Superpower Would You Like to Have?

Published January 17, 2022 by Maryanne
Derick, The ‘Invisible’ Cat

This question is irrelevant for me. I went through all the super powers I could think of and none of them appealed to me.

I don’t want to fly. My head is always in the clouds. What I need is to be grounded.

I don’t want x-ray vision. I want to make people happy, not embarrassed.

And I certainly don’t want to be invisible. I worked hard my whole life to be seen and heard.

But speaking of invisible, I once had a cat who sometimes thought he was. Derick was the first cat I owned when I was single and living alone. Since kittenhood he was extremely attached to me. He’d follow me from room to room. He’d sit on my lap almost the entire day as I worked. He’d be at my side while I relaxed. And God forbid I left the house. He’d sit on the window sill, awaiting my return. If I sat in my backyard, he’d be in the window mewing, demanding that I come back in the house.

I had another cat, Billy Cat. Billy was more shy. He hid often. But in his later years, he competed with Derick for my attention. However, Derick wouldn’t have it. There would be friction between them whenever Derick saw Billy near me or on my lap.

Sometimes, randomly, Derick would take a swat at Billy. Billy would meow so loud, it was like the scream of death. Then they’d get into a rumble. My husband and I often caught Derick just in time. His paw would rise up to swipe Billy, and both of us would say, “No….” in unison, dragging out the “o” to show we meant business without getting loud or yelling. Derick would immediately freeze and his paw was comically suspended in mid-air. Then he would put his head down, and walk away ashamed.

However, Derick was relentless and not one to give up. His future attacks on Billy wouldn’t be so obvious. He would creep slowly into the room, then hunch his body down low as he inched towards Billy, sneaking up on him. My husband caught him, just in time, and said, “Hey! You’re not invisible!”

We laughed so hard over our “invisible” cat.

But I will say, the two did have their loving moments. They slept together, groomed each other, and had many peaceful moments. When Billy got older and had trouble walking, due to arthritis, and later cancer, Derick was a concerned little cat brother and doted over Billy until his death at age 19. Two years later, Derick died. He was also 19.

Does your cat have a super power? I’d love to hear about it!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

And Just Like That… Nicholas Was Gone

Published December 20, 2021 by Maryanne
Nicholas Gray, the beautiful, magical cat

Recently, “And Just Like That” — the “Sex and the City” reboot — debuted. So many viewers were upset over the death of the character Mr. Big. (The actor Chris Noth is still alive and well, it was the character that was killed off).

Mr. Big died suddenly of a heart attack. Many of us who watch the show are in our 50s and know how precious life can change in an instant. During the pandemic, I’ve lost quite a few friends to death, but only one to Covid. My best male friend had a heart attack and died instantly just like Mr. Big. Life is so precious and we realize this more and more as we grow older. It’s wise to not take anything — ANYTHING — for granted because in a heartbeat it can all change.

For example, my happy little life with my husband. We are childless by choice, but have three beautiful cats. One of our favorite things to do is to just chill, listening to records in the living room surrounded by our kitties, who we call our “babies).

Saturday morning my husband, Dennis, woke me up saying, “I can’t find Nicholas.” Every day the three of them greet us. We feed them, then spend quality time with them before going about our day.

I said, “Maybe he doesn’t feel well and is hiding.” Cats do that. I had Happy Jack as a teenager. He was missing . My grandmother thought he got out and was lost in a snowstorm. We were terrified, but two days later, I found him hiding in a closet. He was A-OK. I also had a ferret who was gone for a day or so. I was worried sick. I thought she got out too, but she was just hiding.

But as time went on, we realized the devastating truth, he’s not in the house. How could this happen? He never wanted to go out before. The few times before that he got out (running past one of us when we opened the door) it was just to sniff the flowers, then he’d let us pick him up and take him back in. He had no interest in being outside. He loved us. Whenever we went away, he’d turn his back on us as we left the house with our travel gear. He always wanted to be groomed, pet, and snuggled. He was a big ‘ol mush. And we called him The Magic Cat because he was so smart. He did back flips in the air when we looped his fish toy. When Chewy packages came, he knew they were for him. He was much more appreciate of toys than the other two. So why would he sneak past us when we opened the door? It didn’t make sense. The only thing we could think of, there was a female cat lurking around our house. Even though Nicholas is fixed, he is still fascinated by other cats. When they are out there, he runs from window to window, even though he has two other kitty playmates in the house. That’s his nature.

Still – how could this happen to us? We tried not to beat ourselves up. It was an accident. Dennis looked at me and said, “And Just Like That…Nicholas was gone.” For the next day and a half, there were many tears.

I tried to give Nicholas a happy ending. I said, “He’s a smart cat. He’s just going on to his next adventure. He’s like Street Cat Bob. We had our time with him. Now he is moving on to something different.”

But Dennis thought the worst. That he got killed by a car or a coyote.

Not knowing was killing us. And we were thinking about cancelling Christmas. How could we celebrate? Losing a pet is tragic. Our hearts were broken to pieces.

Saturday I had quite a bit going on. I had my art class in the morning and later that afternoon I played a mom in a rap music video. My mind was elsewhere though, and two very creative, rewarding experiences are now just a cloudy memory. My mind was on Nicholas, as I just went through the motions. We looked all over the house and even drove around the neighborhood. Nothing. We called the cops. We called the local animal hospital. Nothing.

We had a sleepless night. The next morning I said, “I remember hearing that if you put a piece of clothing outside, the cat will smell your scent and come back.” We did that immediately. Then my husband spent three hours out in the cold searching for Nicholas. I posted his photos on a Facebook page that helps people find lost pets.

When my husband came back the second time, he just happened to look at the window and he screamed, “That’s him!! I just saw Nicholas!” He ran out the door. I saw him by the window motioning me to come out. “Put your jacket on and come outside!!”

I grabbed my jacket and slipped on my boots without even zippering them. I dashed out the door. Nicholas had run into a shed near our house. We got into the shed and there he was, peering out from us, hiding behind a box and mewing.

I went back to the house and got treats to entice him. The poor little thing was frightened. Dennis reached out to him and Nicholas snuggled his little head against my husband’s hand. “Come on, baby” we both said, gently. “Nicholas, it’s Mommy and Daddy.” And, “Nicholas is a good boy.” And, “Nicholas is beautiful. Nicholas is so handsome.” All the positive things we’ve always said to him, so the familiarity would comfort him. Sure enough it did. Dennis was able to grab him and bring him back home!

WELCOME HOME NICHOLAS!

When we got him in, he seemed confused. We gave him so much love and attention, within minutes he was purring loudly and was soon back to his happy little dumpling self, prancing around the house, tail up!

Our conclusion was, he got out Friday night while my husband took the garbage out. Perhaps something spooked him and he got lost and had a hard time finding his way back. Once we put the jacket outside, he found his way to the shed.

We got our baby back, and Christmas is on! In a matter of days, we’ve experienced The Nightmare Before Christmas and A Christmas Miracle.

Hug your pets today, and don’t ever take them for granted! Life can change in a split second.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: Love Cats

National Inner Beauty Day

Published October 7, 2021 by Maryanne
Pets are the masters of inner beauty

Since we were young, we were taught it’s what’s on the inside that counts. How quickly that grows old once we get in school and the pettiness and cattiness begins. That can make anyone grow ugly right before our eyes.

In school I was bullied. The bullies, both male and female, never looked good to me. The ugliness that was on the inside found its way to the outside. Why were these kids so ugly? Perhaps their parents didn’t drill it into their head, the most important thing in life is being kind to others.

When we get older and get into the work force, it doesn’t end. Even if you’re self-employed it doesn’t end either. There’s always an ugly person out there trying to make someone else’s life miserable because they are miserable.

The thing is, if we are bullied, we have to realize it’s not us, it’s them. People bully for three reasons: 1. They are jealous of you. 2. They want to be like you. 3. They don’t like themselves.

It makes total sense. Why would a happy, secure person want to hurt someone? They wouldn’t. Only angry people with issues do. And it’s THEIR responsibility to make right with themselves, not yours. You can never make someone like this happy, so don’t exhaust yourself trying to get them to like you. It’s not in their heart. They are broken.

Three years ago I made the following video, “How do you want to be remembered when you die?” I share my reaction to hearing about an adult bully dying. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbSuOdgsNm0

It seems so morbid, but it’s honest. I’ve spoken to others who have had the same reaction when they heard nasty people passed. Perhaps it’s a relief, especially in this day and age when people spread rumors quickly on the internet.

While we shouldn’t be worried about what people think of us, it’s important how we treat others, whether they like us or not. It’s perfectly okay to put a person in his/her place if they make cruel comments to you. And it’s perfectly okay to vent to a friend about someone who is not so nice. But don’t let someone’s bad attitude steal your own inner beauty. Those of us who are caring and empathic can easily fall into a sad spiral if we’re the target of someone else’s negative attitude. Try to brush it off, and not think about it. Know that it’s not your fault. There are just some very unhappy people in this world. Don’t let that stop you from being your kind-hearted, awesome self.

You can read more about this topic in my book, “I Don’t Want to Be Like You” (https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261)

I also touch on bullying in my book, “Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” (https://www.amazon.com/Be-Extra-Ordinary-Ways-Become/dp/1733546227)

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, editing, and writing. She is also available for book signings and speaking engagements. She is now coaching aspiring writers via ZOOM.

Maryanne is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: Love Cats

Single Women Less Likely to Date Men with Cats? WHAT?!?!?!?!?!

Published June 27, 2020 by Maryanne

kurt-cobain-with-catKurt Cobain loving his cat

Not once, but TWICE on television news this week, I heard about the study. And it’s a study that, for the life of me, I don’t get. But, yeah, I heard right, “Single women are less likely to date men with cats.” Don’t believe it? I wouldn’t have either, but I heard it with my own ears, and read it with my own eyes on many news sites. Here is just one: Women Are Less Likely to Date Men with Cats

In this study, men who had dating profiles with cats in the photo were viewed as less masculine and more neurotic.

I disagree. Men who love cats, or animals in general, are strong, good providers, fun to be around, intelligent, and sensitive. And I’m not only speaking about my husband, but the husbands/long term partners of my dearest friends. (And a few single men I’m friends with who love cats!)

When I was single, my cats were a great measure in choosing who was good for me. The great guys were the ones who bonded with my cats. Even if someone was not quite a match for me, I’ll still remember him as a good catch (for someone else) because of how he interacted with my cats. The losers…urgh, I’d like to forget them but who can forget when your cat pisses on the jacket of an asshole. Pretty funny! A very good cat who never misbehaved did that. He was letting me know in a subtle way, “beware” and he was right.

It wasn’t too long ago we were reading cool articles like this, Cats & Women: Why the Connection

So why, now, the disconnect? What made women turn on cats, or more specifically, men with cats? I can understand if a woman had a bad experience with a cat. In fact, I imagined such a thing in my fictitious erotic novel, Love Cats — where a young woman hates cats because of a bad experience, which we don’t find out until later. She ends up dating a few cat guys and eventually gives cats a chance.

Any random girl can dislike cats for whatever reason. But an entire study of females being “anti-cat” is something I just can not understand.

Back in my day, girls met potential dates in bars/clubs. I caught the tail end of online dating, so I don’t have much experience there. Like other women, I did have my laundry list. But it never occurred to me to put an animal on the deal breaker list. My deal breakers included: no smoking, no one obsessed with sports, no mama’s boys, no one who is verbally/physically abusive.

But “no cats”? Why would that be in a dating profile?

Perhaps a woman would be jealous of a man’s relationship with a cat? (I actually addressed that issue in Love Cats!) It’s not that far-fetched. Women can be catty (pun intended!). This can actually be a red flag for a guy! If a woman is jealous of your pet, would she also be jealous of your future son or daughter? Hmmm…..

But, let’s get back to why guys who love cats are AWESOME. You see, the bottom line is, cats are not instant-lovers like dogs. You need to nourish them and spend time with them in order to get them to come out of their shell. And if a man can take an independent cat and turn him/her into a playful, needy, snuggly bunny who runs to the door like a dog when he comes home, that man is a keeper! I should know, I married a man bonds with cats like that! And though we don’t have kids, I can only imagine what a good father my husband would be. In many families, pets are the stepping stones to children! (But let’s not count the idiots who give up their pets when they have kids!) Good pet parents equal good parents, period! It simply makes sense.

Perhaps single ladies need to re-think their views on men with cats. They may be missing out on a great one — and staying single a lot longer than they want to.

Maryanne Christiano Mistretta is the loving cat mom to Nicholas Gray and Sammy “Whammy” Keane Clemens. Her book Love Cats is written under the pen name Krystianna Mercury and available from Flamingo Media