positive women

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In Support of Younger Women

Published November 12, 2020 by Maryanne
Jennifer Bunda
Shanon Pantano

The other day I wrote about what a great time I had at the Hard Rock Hotel in Atlantic City, NJ. Since I’m not into gambling, it’s not very often I visit AC. Nevertheless, I like to pop in from time to time over the years. It’s a cool city with a great history lesson behind it. It’s also the city that inspired the Monopoly board game. Over the years I went with family, friends, and even co-workers when I still did the 9 to 5 thing. It is a legendary place to be.

While thinking about my previous AC trips, I remembered the first time I went with my family. I was just 19 and was able to gamble. From the get-go I realized gambling wasn’t my thing, but it was fun visiting the different themed casinos and walking on the boardwalk. And that first time, I had a weird experience in the ladies room.

I was wearing a romper. Yes, the rompers young women wear today also had a brief day in the sun in the 1980s. I was looking in the mirror brushing my hair as most women do.

A much older woman was looking at me. She said, in a snippy mocking tone, “Adorable! Adorable! Very cute!” and then walked away.

I couldn’t believe it. She shamed me for looking good! And for a split second I felt guilty about it. Maybe I should have worn something more conservative? But weren’t we in a city, where anything goes? And, hey, rompers were in-style. And why shouldn’t I be brushing my hair.

I was obsessing over a comment from a stranger. Then I stopped myself from thinking about it. From that moment on, I promised myself that when I got old I would never make a young woman feel bad about her looks.

And I kept that promise.

I’m the first to tell a young girl how cute she looks, sincerely, not mockingly like the lady did to me. I’m happy to support my girlfriends’ daughters and/or nieces and write on Facebook they are beautiful. I tell young female tellers at the bank how stylish they are. And I’ll be the first to tell a young stranger I like her pink hair or cute shoes.

Young ladies are pretty, and many of them are insecure. If you compliment them, they may respond shyly or not say anything at all. But mark my word, I’m positive they appreciate the compliment. I always did.

No matter what age we are it’s important for women to have each other’s backs. Let’s not undermine each other. Let’s celebrate our unique beauty, our differences, our accomplishments, and our creativity.

Women supporting women is a beautiful thing, especially when it’s us older ones taking a younger one under our wings and encouraging her to fly!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, ghost writing, writing. She is also available for book signings and motivational speaking engagements (via ZOOM during covid).

Maryanne is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: Love Cats

Visit Maryanne’s You Tube Channel here: Be YOUnique

High School Friends Reunited 35 Years Later!

Published July 31, 2015 by Maryanne

SAM_8136Maryanne (left) and Pam – Class of 1981!

Today’s most awesome reunion with my high school classmate Pam was phenomenal on multi-levels. As adults, we had a super duper time lunching at New Jersey’s famous Tick Tock Diner. But this meeting goes way beyond a reunion. I had an agenda … to thank Pam, personally, for a favor she did for me back in high school.

Pam was my high school hero. She defended me, standing up to a bunch high school bullies! That was a very brave thing for a young, petite girl to do. At the time I was a deer in headlights. I was grateful, but shocked. I was young and so awkward, I never gave Pam the proper thank-you. Nor did I even give her a smile. I just stared blankly and went about my business. Not that I didn’t appreciate what she did, but perhaps in my young mind I felt undeserving? Why would this cool girl, who was obviously mature beyond her years, defend me?

As the years went on, I often thought back to this genuine act of kindness and that if I ever ran into Pam, I’d give her a big hug and thank her. Back in the 1980s we didn’t have internet. So if you didn’t have someone’s phone number, you had to wait until you ran into them.

In the mid-1990s I ran into one of Pam’s high school boyfriends on a train while commuting to work and I told him, “If you ever see her, tell her I said ‘Hi.'”

Then the internet came, and I looked Pam up several times over the years and then finally found her on Face Book. I hoped she’d remember me as a nice person, not the awkward girl who was too shocked and shy to say “Thank you for defending me.”

Shortly afterwards, she friend-ed me back and we made a date to have lunch! I was ecstatic and counted down the days til I was able to meet my hero!

After 35 years I was finally able to give Pam a great big hug and some flowers! We spent three hours catching up and having a blast!

Mission accomplished! It’s never too late to thank someone for their kindness! ❤

I look forward to seeing my “forever friend” again in the near future!

I love you, Pam! ❤

Top 10 Things About Being in Your 50s!

Published July 29, 2015 by Maryanne

SAM_6498December, 2014, age 51

In 20 days, on August 19, I will be 52. And I must say I’m enjoying my 50s more then I ever imagined I would. So, let me count the ways …

1. You truly are older and wiser. At this age I feel a beautiful peace I’ve not known in my earlier years. Even with weight gain and night sweats, I would never, ever want to go back to my 20s or 30s and be full of that ugly piss and vinegar!

SAM_7534In my 20s and miserable

SAM_5335Legs at 50

2. Legs! That’s right, legs! Hear me out …

In your 50s, you start to gain a little weight around the middle and may no longer have that flat stomach you once did (even in my 40s, my stomach was flat as a board!) So, you say good-bye to crop tops and bikinis, but then realize how great your legs are! All those years I wore crop tops with long jeans (because crop tops and Daisy Dukes would have been a bit much). But now, I’m all about short shorts and short skirts — as long as I have a long top covering my belly. Why didn’t I appreciate my legs years ago? Because back then my fab abs stole the limelight 🙂

3. Time is truly of the essence. In your 50s, you realize just how short life is so you don’t waste any time doing things you don’t want to do. It’s a lot easier to say “no” and do the things that mean the most to you even if those things are weird to others — like staying home to work on your book during a holiday.

4. You not only embrace your age, but the ages of others too. In your 50s, you appreciate the preciousness of both youth and the elderly like never before. I never thought babies were cute until I reached my 50s. In my 50s, I became friends with a wonderful woman in her 20s (see Ashley in photo below!) In my 50s, I started doing public speaking events at assisted living facilities — and absolutely adore all the seniors I meet. Embrace every age … they’re all important!

SAM_4926My friend Ashley (left) — an inspiring friend in her 20s!

5. You can relate to everyone! Being in your 50s is the best place to be because you know what it was like when you were younger and you’re not that far off from being older. So you can truly fit in everywhere and with anyone. My friends ages range from their 20s to their 80s!

6. Pulling the “old” card. In your 50s, it’s so awesome that you can almost get away with murder by using the word “old.” Failed to remember something? “Oh, I FORGOT! I’m getting old!” Not having a good time at a party? “I gotta get going, old age is catching up to me!”

SAM_7729Age 51, enjoying the good life

7. The simple things in life. Little things like bird watching can make you so happy.

8. Time flies. If you have an obligation you’re not looking forward to (like, say, Jury Duty or a dental cleaning) it’s over before you know it.

9. Being fearless. At this age, you’ve been through so much in life, there’s not much left to be afraid of.

SAM_0922Smile! You’re in your 50s!

10. You made it! I’ll never forget all my milestone birthdays. Most people call the milestones: 20, 30, 40, 50. I call them differently: 21, 27, 36, and 42. Sid Vicious died at 21, so I was happy I passed him. And oh, dear, the 27 club — Brian Jones, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison … for that very reason the number “27” scared me and I could wait to be 28. Poor Marilyn Monroe lost her life at the age of 36 … I got past that one too. And then good ‘ol Elvis Presley who died at the age of 42 … I sighed with relief when I got past that one. Little me had lived longer than the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll did! Now that I’ve reached 50, I realize it’s silly worrying about milestone ages. Plus at this age, you really do lose track. I’ll be 52 next month, but for the past six months I’ve told people I am 52 already! I’m not wishing my life away, I simply forgot how old I am 🙂

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is the author of “On the Guest List: Adventures of a Music Journalist” available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/162903908X

Her new book, “Love Cats” is now available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle formats: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00YBGVJQS/

My “NotMom” Interview

Published March 27, 2015 by Maryanne

SAM_6304Proud Kitty Mom!

Hello Gang!

As some of you know I’ll be speaking at the NotMom Summit this October, in Cleveland. I’m honored to also have been recently interviewed for the NotMom website.

Please check out my female-positive interview here: http://thenotmom.com/the-notmom-interview-maryanne-christiano-mistretta-author-of-on-the-guest-list/