I have enemies. A ton of them.
Maybe “enemy” is a strong word, but let’s just say there are many people who dislike me. And I know exactly why they don’t like me and I refuse to change.
First, let’s back up a bit. I’m not a victim being too hard on myself or imagining things. I know my good qualities. I’m a fantastic person because of these high-quality traits:
- I am not a jealous person. I’ll be the first to give a compliment and cheer a friend on for his/her successes. I’m the one who notices things like a new piece of jewelry, a great haircut, and when someone is glowing. If someone is in love–I pick up on it!
- I show up on time. I don’t like making people wait for me. Who the hell am I?
- I go to everyone’s events. Is your band playing tonight? Are you a featured artist in a gallery? Count me in to support you!
- I’ll do something I don’t like just to accompany someone so they don’t have to go alone. For example, if a friend has tickets to a concert and no one else wants to go, I’ll go whether I like the band or not. Just to have a new experience and make someone happy means so much to me.
- I return phone calls and emails in a timely manner.
And now for my “worst” quality, which I don’t see as a bad one, but others do. I actually wish more people had this “bad” quality because it’s an honest one. Although in this day and age we’re living in a world of wusses. People can’t take anything that rocks their boat.
My worst quality is that I call people on their bullshit. No, that doesn’t mean telling someone they are fat. Or they look old in that hairstyle. Or that their laugh is like nails on a chalkboard. I’m not that person, even though people have said cruel things like that to me.
My gig is more about calling out people when they are not too nice of a friend. Like if someone asks a question that crosses the line and is way too personal, I’ll let them know. If a friendship isn’t what it used to be, I’ll ask someone if I did something wrong; how can I fix it? And if someone ignores a heartfelt email where I bared my soul, I will ask, why do you feel it’s unimportant not to respond? For example, someone dies, and you share. Why would someone not call you IMMEDIATELY and ask, “How can I help?” If your not holding up to your end of the friendship, I’m going to let you know.
This type of honesty jars people. It pushes them out of their comfort zone. I’ve always felt that we can only grow as people if we learn about each other. And part of that learning process is to discuss things, especially if they are bothersome. Too many people are quick to throw away friendships because they consider talking/discussing “drama.”
We live in a world where people are no longer reading. They’re scrolling on their phones looking at photos, like zombies. No one can effectively communicate anymore.
But if friends can’t have a proper discussion, is it really a friendship? I don’t think so.
The good news is, There will always be other friendships–and people in general. Keep trying until you find your tribe. Whether it’s friends, or romantic relationships, or even the right dentist, with billions of people in the world, there’s no reason to settle for an unsatisfying friendship, or unsatisfying service, or unsatisfying anything. Keep being you! Because YOU stood up for something in your life–and that’s a good thing!
[Insert heart emoji here].
Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: firstname.lastname@example.org.
She is the author of the following books:
“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary
“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You
Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/
Maryanne is also available for book editing. Rates are competitive.