respect

All posts tagged respect

Too Busy

Published January 4, 2017 by Maryanne

busy-2

Last night I was reading my old diaries from 1993. I was only 29-years-old and really loving my life. At that time I was living in a beautiful world people can’t even imagine today. Even as a very good-looking young woman, I had my dateless, lonely nights. The difference was, if you had the blues back then you could count on a phone call from at least five friends in one night! So being sad was not an option.

Today, other than my husband who I could always count on, I can’t imagine conversing with any of my friends without first making an appointment to speak with them. People are always so “busy.” Picking up the phone is no longer an option. So, I just cry instead.

The first of the year usually means new beginnings. As someone who is self-employed, this is usually the time when my business takes off. People always come to me for ghost writing, book editing, and public speaking engagements because they know they can count on me. There’s an old saying, “If you need something done, ask the busiest person you know because he/she will get it done for you.”

That said, I have to question everyone else’s version of “busy.” Because even when my version of “busy” gets so crazy, I’m glued to my desk for hours without getting up for a drink or to go to the bathroom, I ALWAYS sincerely answer an email from a friend who is in need.

This week started out as one of those busy weeks. Then one person cancelled an appointment — at the last minute. So not cool. And another just totally stood me up — no email, no phone call, no explanation.

I was heartbroken for being slighted. This is not the way I do business. This is not how I’d treat somebody. For all the technology we have in this day and age, this should not be. In this modern world, no one can be too busy to type three simple words in an email: “Can we reschedule?” And, I might add, at an appropriate time, not at the last minute unless someone very close to you died. Even so, I think back to when my father-in-law, who sometimes lived with us, passed away three months ago … I still was able to conduct business in a professional manner. And I still listened to problems from friends who needed a friend. Is it so much to ask the same in return?

It is not narcissistic to expect to be treated with respect. My time is just as important as anyone else’s. But here I am, crying my eyes out in the middle of the day, waiting patiently for my husband to get home so I can cry on his shoulder.

It is far from being “unprofessional” when you are disappointed by how so-called professionals treat you. There really needs to be a book on manners in this day and age. What happened to the Miss Manners column that ran in newspapers on a daily basis? Oh, I know, no one reads newspapers anymore.

No one does a lot of things anymore that they should. It’s a sad world we live in. A world without manners. A world without consideration. A world where people do whatever they please as long as it suits them.

And nothing can be done about it either. Just wait for the good karma you’ve been owed … so then things will turn around … and you’ll get everything you’ve ever deserved … because you already have a lot of it … Like a husband who truly adores and loves you. Because you were never “too busy” to find someone you adore and love.

So, hooray for demystifying the “too busy” myth! For those who are “too busy” will never seep the rewards that come from making time.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is an award-winning writer and a public speaker. Contact her at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com 

 

 

 

Vultures

Published February 22, 2013 by Maryanne

vultures

I love freebies. I think almost everyone does.

But it needs to be pointed out that freebies are a way of advertising for companies and people shouldn’t act like vultures when it comes to freebies. “Freebies” does not mean a literal free for all — not only on the end of the consumer but on the end of the company too (and I will get to that shortly).

A couple months ago I was in Vitamin Shoppe and they were having a free sample day. I was so happy because I was able to find a natural headache solution that worked. Had I not tried a free sample, I would have never known of this product. Now the company has a new satisfied customer because of me trying their sample.

The key words here are “a free sample” — not “all the free samples you can stuff into your bag.”

That same day I saw some samples of a very pricy chlorella product. A woman grabbed ALL of them. ALL! I took my one sample and wanted to get another for a friend who was with me, but at the other end of the store, and thanks to that greedy woman none were left.

People stuff things in their bags whether they need them or not. Even if they don’t know what something is, they will take it because the price, free, is right. It bothers me is that people don’t consider others, that others may need a free sample more than they do. Perhaps a certain sample can be the key thing a heart or cancer patient needs to put him/herself back on track? So, please, people, remember that it’s not always all about YOU.

On weekends Whole Foods usually has a bunch of tables set up for free sampling. If I’ve already tried the product, if I’m already using the product, or if I don’t intend on buying the product, I do not take a free sample.

These workers are standing on their feet for four hours straight and some get commissions on what they are selling. It’s important not to be a T.W. (Time Waster) and have respect for this person’s job. Do not let greed and gluttony get the best of you when it comes to free samples. It’s a sampling table for cryin’ out loud — don’t make it your white trash luncheon affair!

When I have some extra money that is when I’ll sample something because then I could afford to buy if from the person selling. This is how you properly show respect for these hard workers. And if the person is really nice, I’ll even go as far as putting something back that I originally intended to buy in order to buy theirs so they could get a credit/bonus.

Now, on the flip side of the coin, sales people can be vultures too. Several months ago I was thrilled to be going to the Mind Body Spirit expo. But I will not attend again this year.

Sales people at the Mind Body Spirit expo were extremely vulture-like, trying to get you into their booths and to buy what they were selling, some coming out into the middle of the floors running up to you, even using scare tactics to get you to sign up to come to their facilities. (And they would make a face if you weren’t interested. How very Mind/Body/Spirit of them! *note sarcasm*)

That reminded me of a clothing store my sister and I used to go to in the 1980s. It was in a mall and the saleswomen would come out of the store into the mall and try to get you into their store. My sister put it perfectly, “They attack you!”

You see, on both ends of the spectrum, nothing that is forced is ever a good thing. No matter which end of the table you’re on, giving or receiving, there has to be a mutual respect without pushiness, without greed, without urgency, without a sense of entitlement.

So, to all receivers, unless your admission price includes a free goodie bag, please keep your hands at a level of gracefulness, not grubbiness.

And to all givers, give greatly, not begrudgingly. Give your samples, but don’t act like people owe you something if they are not interested. Because you never know, someone may not be interested right now but they could be in the future. And don’t think they can’t sense you making that face at them when they turn away!

Trust me, they can!