spirituality

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Make Way for Happiness!

Published July 8, 2017 by Maryanne

SAM_2842Hello Happiness

This is why I’m more a believer in pronoia than karma …

First, I must explain “pronoia” since everyone knows what karma is. According to Wikipedia, here is the definition: “Pronoia is a neologism that is defined as the opposite state of mind to paranoia: having the sense that there is a conspiracy that exists to help the person. It is also used to describe a philosophy that the world is set up to secretly benefit people.”

Blessings in disguise are necessary to one’s evolution. It really sucks to be going through a bad time, but that’s what moves you to a better time. A quick example would be my career. Thanks to always trying to escape nasty people and office gossip, I’ve advanced myself to places I’ve always dreamed of. Starting out as a shipping clerk right after high school, I’ve learned all aspects of the working world — A/R, A/P, credit/collections — then went on to more creative venues, from typing, to proofreading, copy editing, writing features, learning design programs, and authoring three books. (As well as helping other people write their books). I am now superwoman. The more I learn, the higher my rates become; and the more I can pick and choose what work I want; and the more concerts I can go to, the more clothes I can buy, and the more vacations I can take. Go me.

Had I been someone who thrived on negativity, I would have stayed put. Fortunately bettering myself, away from back stabbers, always meant advancing in my career. Thank you Universe.

But pronoia doesn’t just work in career, it works in just about anything. A prime example happened a few weeks ago. I got hooked on a particular eatery and was spending much time (and money) there. However, I realized, being a health fanatic, the options were limited once I got bored with the dish I enjoyed most.

I also had to coach them to let them know there were certain items they put in their foods that I didn’t consider healthy, such as grains; almond or coconut milk from a brand that uses cane sugar; and bananas, which are extremely high carbs.

One day there was a new counter girl, having a hard time with my order. I was extremely patient, with a smile on my face. Fifteen minutes later, the grand finale was that she put granola on top of my finished product. (I do not like granola at all!)

I told her I was allergic, which gets you more compassion than just saying you do not like something — sometimes. But not this time. The owner was very snippy with me and said, “You’re allergic to nuts?!” as if I bothered her.

Right then and there I made up my mind that I would never step foot in that place again. I never really felt comfortable there to begin with. It was just an all around bad vibe as they tended to cater to people they knew personally, making it clique-ish. Plus, that day I saw fruit flies on their samples. It was no longer an inviting place to eat.

Is this the universe speaking? You bet! Read on …

I spent 45 minutes on the internet looking for another healthy place to eat in the area. Well, I found one that was much healthier — all raw vegan foods with no processed sugar, no grains, and many items minus bananas! I’ve been going every day since. The service is better. The owner even came out to shake my hand for writing a good review about them. That’s the way to go!

But wait, there’s more!

You get “points” for your purchases! Now, not only is this place, healthier and friendlier than the first place, but less expensive. And with the points, I’ve already had two free healthy desserts (made from natural, organic fresh fruit and cacao).

Then the real reward is that going to this place takes me through the back roads, avoiding all traffic. So instead of just looking at cars, I can see deer (and fawn!) romping, rabbits, swans, etc. It’s an all around prettier trip.

If you pay attention to pronoia, you will see how it happens often. Bad things almost always push you in a better direction. If you feel uncomfortable in your place of worship,  job, or the person you are with, it’s definitely the universe (or God!) telling you that you belong somewhere else, or with someone else.

While “pronoia” is the official term, I like to call these things The Parable of Sonny & Cher. As the story goes, Sonny and Cher were so down on their luck, they had to sell all the furniture in their home to make ends meet. This is when Sonny Bono wrote their hit “I Got You Babe.”

Did you ever lose it all, then get your dream job? Or win the lottery?

Did someone you love deeply die recently? If so, watch how many great things start happening to you almost immediately afterwards. Whether it’s the universe repaying you for your loss; or your loved one, now in heaven, taking care of you from above — it’s a given that tragedy leads to precious gifts.

Did you ever have a horrible day, followed by a fantastic evening? That is also pronoia at work. Bad things motivate you to grab the good. It’s a survival mechanism.

How has pronoia worked for YOU? Feel free to share your stories; I’d love to hear them!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is the author of three books, including “On the Guest List: Adventures of a Music Journalist” available on Amazon. If you like positive, fun, silly books that don’t go in a downward spiral, this one’s for you: https://www.amazon.com/Guest-List-Adventures-Music-Journalist/dp/162903908X

Her third book “The Gypsy Smiled” will be published by GenZ later this year.

 

 

 

 

Intuitive Energy Healing with Dr. Robert Kandarjian

Published January 5, 2016 by Maryanne

Robert KandarjianDr. Robert Kandarjian

Before the holidays I had the honor of meeting intuitive energy healer, chiropractor, and author, Dr. Robert Kandarjian, at a health fair. He gave me an autographed copy of his book, “The Masculine Heart,” a sensitive, poetic book about the true masculine personality and emotions.

In writing “The Masculine Heart,” Kandarjian’s inspiration drew from his frustration in seeing his male patients struggle with trying to find out what manhood is and what success is. Kandarjian explained that in regard to macho-ism, not all men are made of that cloth. Even from his own personal experiences, he shared, “I wanted to live in a culture that is more cooperative than competitive.”

“Sacred Intentions,” another book by Kandarjian, is about using intention as a “wish list” and then manifesting it.

He said, “It’s key that our intention is aligned with our soul’s purpose, not with our unhealthy desires. If your soul feels you need to go somewhere else, you have to honor that. A lot of people don’t know what their soul wants. Most people are lost in their personality desires. That’s why they are unhappy. It’s really important to go in and connect what it is that the soul wants.”

Inspired by his father’s death, and death in general, Kandarjian wrote “Life and Afterlife” to address the question, What happens to us when we go to the afterlife with unfinished emotional baggage?

He said, “What happens once we’re up there and we want to come back to earth? Souls have to learn and grow. A lot of us want to come right back and reconnect to our family tribe. We miss them, we love them. What happens when we go to the afterlife when we go with feelings of unhappiness and unfulfilled desires? I wanted to focus the book on that. I wanted the reader to understand that there are angelic beings and divine forces that are there to help us.  We need to take advantage of the help offered to us. It’s always about evolution. It’s about going back to the source, the God, the oneness. ‘Proof of Heaven’ is a great book by Dr. Eben Alexander, who discusses that so well. It explains it in a wonderful way I haven’t seen before.”

Continuing about the afterlife, Kandarjian said, “There is free will. We don’t have to come back. Interestingly, most people wish to return.”

When asked if he’d like to return, he said, “Probably not. The way it stands now, I would like to stay in the afterlife longer than I have in previous times. I want to come back to help others move to a higher place. To me, it’s the goal of our human experiences.”

In his holistic journey, Kandarjian started out as a chiropractor in 1983. Prior to that he studied nutrition. By 1995 he felt he needed to bring more spirituality into his career. “I kind of evolved into it,” he said. “It just felt right. I wanted to work with more than the body; I wanted to bring in their soul healing.”

Working as an energy healer, Kandarjian uses his psychic ability to recognize where a patient is holding a block — or “tension” — or their historical stress. “It could be from childhood,” he said. “It could be a trauma. It could be physical, a digestive disorder. Is it coming from poor diet? Or is it totally emotional? A break up, a divorce, loss of a job? As long as they work through it, they feel better. They feel stronger. They feel clarity about what they need to do for themselves. They become clear about their direction.”

As a person who lives a healthy, spiritual lifestyle, I was curious to know if people achieve faster benefits from energy healing if they are positive and in good health.

Kandarjian said, “Motivation is an enormous help to recovery. When they’re motivated that means they’re open to hearing what I have to say. An openness is really crucial. When they come in close-minded, there is only so much I could do. I can’t access them as well. I can’t read their energy and where the blocks are. I can do it to some degree, but it’s a lot of work; it’s very hard, I don’t enjoy it.”

When I asked Kandarjian to share a patient’s success story, he hesitated saying, “I’m definitely not one who brags.” And after some thought, shared a story about a woman who suffered with migraines from the age of 13 to 47.

He said, “She has been to, without exaggeration, over sixty neurologists in her life. With bills in the hundreds of thousands, medications, MRI scans, she came to see me last year. When I assessed her, I felt there was a severe fixation in the upper part of the neck area. I asked her if she ever worked with a chiropractor.”

“She said, ‘No.’ It [her upper neck area] felt so tight, so blocked.”

In addition to migraines, which the patient had EVERY DAY, something was off with her hormones, and her digestive tract was off because of strong antibiotic use, from the age of 7 or 8 because of ear infections.

“This was one of my toughest cases,” said Kandarjian. “The medical community failed to help her.”

The final piece to the puzzle was that the woman had a block in the heart area. She needed to cry about something. She had suffered from the age of 12 and never really lived a fulfilling or playful life. She needed to go to that and cry for a life that had been so serious and painful, rather than playful.

Kandarjian corrected the spine and upper neck area, put her on probiotics to correct hormones, and then let her cry, within three weeks she was 60 percent better. From their last conversation she was 75 percent better. “My intuition told me something was off,” he said. “I needed to open her heart more and she needed to cry. I’m just removing blockage so she feels more free with her emotion.”

He said, “I was so happy to see this woman come back to life, where she could engage in her marriage and engage in her work. She is living her life again.”

Other success stories are with children. Kandarjian said, “I love working with children, must correct their diet. Whether they have ADHD or depression, we get them off bad carbs and processed sugars and make sure there is harmony in the house and school. Children’s energy is not going to improve when they’re not in a harmonious and loving, playful environment.”

Working with people is inspiring to Kandarjian. He said, “When I look at people, I do my best to see and recognize and feel their divine nature. Having said that, “I also recognize when they are not in their divine nature, meaning that they are hurting, that they are blocked. What inspires me is that I know a way they can move closer to their potential.”

Dr. Robert Kandarjian has offices in Oradell and Morristown, New Jersey. For more information and free E-book downloads, visit: http://drrobertheals.com/

Live in the Moment!

Published November 18, 2015 by Maryanne

always-live-in-the-moment-source

Last night I had a meeting with a client who is writing a very cool book and I am helping him edit it. We had the greatest conversation about spirituality and living in the moment. We agreed that some people take themselves way too seriously and are too dogmatic about their beliefs to see the beauty of what is in front of them.

I once knew a girl who was very dogmatic about her version of “spirituality.” She was into yoga, vegan-ism, creativity, Buddhism, the universe and so on. BUT do not mention Jesus Christ in her presence. She did not want to hear it. She thought it was so funny to share the story about a guy she was dating answering the door naked when a Jehovah Witness came to the door. And that they never came again.

What a shame, she (and her date) missed the point.

True spirituality is being in the moment. Just because something isn’t your belief, it doesn’t mean there isn’t a message there. A subtle point I make in my upcoming book, “The Gypsy Smiled” — that you can learn something from anyone no matter what their walk in life. The lead character Lucy snubs a younger guy who is interested in her because of his youth; but he’s actually wise beyond his years. Then goes to a new age spa, but it’s not the retreat that evolves her, it’s her ex-boyfriend who is there and teaches her a valuable life lesson. (You can vote to help me get a book contract for “The Gypsy Smiled” by going here: http://soopllc.com/blog/book-ideas/gypsy-smiled-maryanne-christiano-mistretta/).

This morning two Jehovah Witnesses came to my door. Unlike my former friend, I love when they come to my door even though that is not my religion. I love getting the Watch Tower magazines and learning more about Jesus Christ. Today’s message was about Jesus bringing Peace on Earth. It was a powerful thing to hear, but I do believe it will happen. I hugged both Witnesses and thanked them. I went off to run my morning errands feeling elated. Had I answered the door naked, discouraging the witnesses, I wouldn’t have heard such a powerful message; the message of having faith in Jesus Christ.

Those Jehovah Witnesses will never know just how happy they made me today. But I have to give myself credit, too, for opening the door and opening my heart to a message.

I shared this story with my client and he said, “You were in the moment!”

The client is a vegan, but he’ll eat waffles with his little girl at a pancake house. That is a great father! When you can bend your own rules so others around you can be happy, it’s a beautiful thing. Be in the moment!

We can’t advance in our spirituality if we take ourselves too seriously. Check out the following video that my friend Marie sent to me this morning, it puts it all into perspective:

Summer’s Final Days

Published September 6, 2015 by Maryanne

SAM_8410Enjoying my sunglasses as autumn approaches

There are officially less than 20 summer days left.

How are you spending your final summer days to soak it up? Carnivals, the beach, a new hair-cut, fall-cleaning? For me, all of those!

This morning I did a spiritual cleaning … my beloved spiritual altar. I cleaned all my magical stones, my angel statues, my little Buddhas, my cross bracelet, my mirrored pyramid, etc.

I took all my positive affirmations off the altar and stored them safely away in a pretty container. I smiled to myself to see that all I wished for has happened. ❤ Now the altar is fresh for new positive affirmations! And I am spiritually set for autumn!

What about you? How do you approach a new season?

SAM_8425Photo taken by my husband, please don’t steal ❤

SAM_8432This could be the closest I get to a big cat!

30-Something is Not “So Young”

Published July 6, 2015 by Maryanne

30Responsible

I’ll never forget when I first realized how delusional younger people were. I was in my early 40s and still working for “the man” in a newsroom. The younger generation — girls in their 20s — seemed so much more childish then I was at their age. They squealed like pigs over silly things, talked too loud on their cell phones and couldn’t take criticism. And it was “okay” because they were “so young.”

Now this trend of being coddled, not taking responsibility and being downright selfish is carrying over to the 30s and even 40s! Where did this immature mindset come from?

When I was a kid, 21 was considered “old.” There was a saying, back then, “Never trust anyone over 30.” A three year generation gap between age 16 and 19 was huge! At 16 I was sneaking into bars with a fake ID. By 19, I was in bed by 8 p.m., working a full time job and going to night school. By 22 I had my first apartment.

I’m now 51. I could take it as a compliment when people say I don’t look it or act it. But is it really a compliment? Three people in the past week told me I could pass for someone in my 30s. But I don’t want to. Most young people today have a scary, sad way about them. Now I’m not speaking of ALL young people. I have some very lovely friends and nieces in their 20s and 30s that absolutely rock. But I do speak of the majority.

I’ve been age-shamed more than once by younger women and I pity them for their attitude. Fearing age and insulting other people because they are older then you is a pathetic existence. Your only other alternative is death. Though with such negative attitudes, I can guarantee 90 percent of these women won’t look as good as I do when they reach my age because negativity goes straight to the bone. And sooner or later truth shows up all over your face. Believe it!

There’s a song by The Stooges called “Your Pretty Face is Going Straight to Hell” and that’s exactly what I’m thinking when pretty young women are nasty and condescending to others. I’ve witnessed it firsthand and karma is a bitch — an unforgiving on at that. I used to work with an extremely gorgeous young woman. We were both in our 30s at the time. At first we were friends, then she showed her true colors. She bitched at me because I drank too much. She said, “I’m vain and drinking ages you. We CAN’T go out drinking all the time like this.” She complained about everything and was a control freak. I told her she was a “nit picker” but that was an understatement. Truth be told, she was disgusting. So much so I couldn’t stand to be in her company anymore. The prettiest girl I ever saw in my life turned ugly right before my eyes. I ran into her in later years. She was still bitter and now old before her time.

Another young person I used to work with, a male, used to harass me every day, whispering and making fun of me and turning young women against me (and the ding dongs went along with him! DUH!) It got to the point where I was absolutely uncomfortable going to work. I asked an older male co-worker, “What the fuck did I ever do to HIM?”

He replied, “You turned forty.”

Interesting, soon following, that guy had a string of bad karma. A tree branch fell on the roof of his car, his wife got into a bus accident and I heard through the grapevine that he wasn’t the good writer everyone thought he was — his “facts” were incorrect and he had pissed off many locals.

I recently saw his picture on Face Book. The dude looks older than me! Now he was never much to look at to begin with, but when I saw how fast he aged, I had to laugh. Payback is a bitch! Because like I said, if you’re ugly inside, it catches up with you. I guess you can also say, God watches.

Aside from what a person looks like, some say you’re as old as you feel. I’m proud to say I do feel my age — 51 (and a half!) Honestly I wouldn’t want to “feel” 30 again. Think back to how it was in your 20s and 30s — full of piss and vinegar. But in your 40s and 50s you develop a beautiful sense of peace. You know how to relax. You don’t always have to be right. You let things go. You’re not antsy to get out. You like to go to bed early and snuggle. It’s a BEAUTIFUL place to be! (And I never threw a shoe in my 40s or 50s).

And what is the alternative to growing old? Dying young? Sadly half these 20 and 30-somethings are dead already. Their negative attitude tells me so. There’s an old saying, “Youth is wasted on young.” Well it’s wasted on the not-so-young 20 and 30-somethings too!

I pity these people.

I’ve been an old soul since the age of 12, wishing to be 18. And once I got there, I embraced every step of the game. And I have diaries to prove it.

I choose life!

SAM_7927Age 51 and a half! Silly, happy and always having fun!

Who’s car is this? I don’t know, but I like it! 🙂

Dreaming is Not Drugs

Published February 8, 2015 by Maryanne

fireworks by MaryanneFireworks by Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta

Honestly, the only time a friend should stop another friend from doing something is if they are harming themselves. And the first thing that comes to mind is — drugs.

Other than that, anything anyone wants to do, it’s their life they should be encouraged by a good friend — or anyone for that matter — to follow their dreams! Unlike drugs, dreams are healthy and if you can make them come true, even better!

Years ago, I was working as a journalist in the newspaper industry. I was living on my own for about 15 years and to cut corners I used mass transit instead of having a car and insurance payments. It wasn’t a problem and I never wanted for nothing — I had both a bus stop and a train station within my block.

When I was dating my future husband for about a year, we decided to move in together. He lived in a house in an area that mass transit was lacking, so I needed a car. My husband drove a PT Cruiser and I fell in love with it. I wanted my own.

My biggest mistake was casually sharing my dream with a co-worker. This woman shot me down immediately saying, “Ew, those cars are so uncomfortable!” From that moment on, I avoided this woman like the plague.

How dare she rain on my parade! If I felt the car was uncomfortable when I took it for a test drive, I wouldn’t get the car, right? Common sense, no? I did not need her ugly opinion and to this day I will never forget how crappy she treated me when I was excited about something. Needless to say, I ended up getting a PT Cruiser and enjoying it for several years before I got a new car!

It’s so sad that people are more in a bad habit of cutting people’s dreams down instead of just going with it. We’re all individuals and have different dreams and desires. Many people have dreams that are different than mine, but I won’t insult their dreams, I’ll always be happy for someone when they get something they want in life.

It’s not being “dishonest” if you are encouraging to someone who shares their dreams with you and you don’t necessarily agree with them. It’s being a good person — being someone who can take their mind off of themselves for one frigging moment and tell another person that you are proud of them or ecstatic for them!

If you’re not in the habit of doing this, regularly, I highly suggest you start. Because being a “Debbie Downer” makes a person undesirable.

My husband recently shared with me that he thinks “everyone” love me. I laughed because sometimes it doesn’t seem that way. I’ve had many people shoot down my dreams and it makes me secretly wonder if that’s their way of telling me they don’t like me. Or maybe they just have diarrhea mouth and are vomiting their hate using me as a punching bag. And that doesn’t feel too good, so that’s when I start avoiding people (like I avoided the co-worker many years ago).

Think about it. If you want a positive person to like you and want to be in your company, be that same positive person! Don’t shoot down people’s dreams. Unlike drugs, dreams are a good thing. Dreams are what get us out of bed in the morning. Dreams are what lift people out of a depressive state. Dreams are what keep us young.

Friends let friends dream!

It’s NOT Luck!

Published February 5, 2015 by Maryanne

fireworks by MaryanneFireworks by Maryanne Mistretta

The other day I took offense to a friend saying I was “lucky.”

“Luck” is not a word in my vocabulary.

I’m truly of the mindset that everything we have is because we’ve attracted it into our lives with wisdom and creative visualization. When people say I’m “lucky” to have an amazing husband, I’m not. I’m blessed because I was smart enough to not settle for the first guy who came along. I fell madly in love with someone I’m super attracted to and adores me equally.

I’m not “lucky” to work with friends — I am intelligent enough to refuse to work in a stressful environment with negative people, therefore I purposely choose the wonderful people I like to build my career around. I’ve spent years doing things on my own until the right girlfriends came into my life. Luck has nothing to do with anything.

When you take a moment each morning to spend in prayer and gratitude and have been doing so almost 20 years; when you have studied Gurdjieff since the 1980s; when you are not afraid of sitting in traffic or being in your own company because you don’t know what “boredom” means since you are in love with yourself and the mind is always going — THAT, MY FRIEND is not luck. It’s called WISDOM. (And mine came at a young age rather than an old age. Since 19, I’ve been told I was wise for my years).