Growing Old is a Gift (Or how I gained an extra half day per year!)

Me, selfie in car last month, January 2023

My 6th book will be coming out next month. When my publisher recently asked for a photo to use, I sent him one from early last summer that I felt represented me. I looked laid-back, happy, and healthy. He told me he found “a more glamorous photo” of me on Face Book that he wanted to use.

I nearly cringed because I thought he was going to use a picture from 10 or 15 years ago when I was much younger. But no, he chose the above photo — from last month! That pleased me. I wanted a current photo on the book. And I am proud of my age.

I always say, I am not anti-aging, but pro-aging. Aging is a gift that not many of us get. I will be 60 this summer, and just learned that Sonny Bono was only 61 when he had the ski accident and died. Knowing that it could all end, puts life into perspective, that’s for sure. My husband and I had 17 happy years together, and I desperately trust that we can have another 17. The years fly by and you have to make every moment count. (And, I truly do!)

Earlier this week, the talk of the internet was Madonna’s extreme plastic surgery. My thoughts are, she’s an artist, she can do what she wants. No matter what she looks like, she’s Madonna — and I like her.

People can do whatever they want to their faces. I don’t do anything to mine, and here’s why … First of all, I am afraid of procedures. Second of all, I don’t like people going near my face. Decades ago, I did the facial thing. I even had that popular “Diamond Facial” that was popular in the early 2000s. After one where it was too intense and my face was red afterwards, I wasn’t into it anymore. I do my own simple facials at home — a face massage with olive oil, and that is that! (And some face yoga).

Yes, self care is important — skin care and exercise. Even going to get blood work or going to the dentist. All should be part of a routine as we age. HOWEVER, let us not forget how important TIME is, as it’s fleeting. Almost a year ago, I decided to no longer dye my hair. While I rocked every color — purple, red, lilac, magenta, chocolate w/snow white underneath — from 2016 to 2022, it was no longer worth my time to sit at a hairdresser for three hours every other month. As you can see in the photo, I am not gray yet, and I’m rocking the ombre, which is actually faded magenta from April 2022.

Thinking about the time I save not being at a hair salon getting a dye job — it adds up to half a day per year! I’m giving myself almost 366 days instead of 365! As my grandmother would say, “WOWIE WOW WOW!”

Now, imagine the time it takes to have anything facial? And for those who get face lifts and have to hide under scarves, hats, and sunglasses until healing time. NO THANK YOU! I’m much rather spend time with myself or my husband than with a plastic surgeon!

While someone like Madonna feels she needs surgery to keep up with the Joneses or express who she is, I can do the same naturally. Okay, so at almost 60, some bags under my eyes, or a double chin when I laugh, but I’m still the same person I was at 30. I’m sweet, funny, smart, cute, and yes even bitchy. I don’t need to look younger to be all that. I am me.

For a brief time I tried so hard to be extra nice since I’m aging and I don’t want to be a “mean old lady.” But, no, I’m going to rock my personality. And if that means standing up for myself, I’ll continue to do that. I spent too much time being shy in high school. I’ve developed a strong personality and that’s who I am. I’m still way nicer than most people I know anyway.

That’s my take, and that’s my little world. Sadly, the masses will continue to be ageist and make fun of celebrities whether they have plastic surgery or not. And it’s not always ageism too. People will make fun of anyone, not matter how young or how good they look. Haters just have to hate. The thing is, when people make fun of others, they do not like themselves very much. That is Psychology 101.

Just continue to love and embrace who you are. Don’t ever feel you need plastic surgery, or even a dye job, unless you REALLY want it. There’s so many things that are more important than what we look like — especially TIME. And if we can squeeze more TIME out of our short lives, we are very blessed.

If you liked this blog, feel free to buy me a kombucha: https://ko-fi.com/maryannechristianomistretta

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

Visit my business page, Pear Tree Enterprises, at: https://peartreeenterprises.wordpress.com/

Over 50 Modeling, Photo Unretouched

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta, 2021, age 57

One year ago today, from a photo shoot with David Esposito.

I was 57. Photo unretouched. David Esposito doesn’t touch up photos. He likes them to be real.

Always be proud of your age, and all you’ve done in your life.

When you filter your fine lines, you filter your character.

I also don’t do Botox or any other face alterations. If you do it, fine, good for you. But I don’t like the idea of it. That’s just me. I think every woman can look amazing with face yoga and facial massage. But that’s just me. Do what you like as long as you are happy.

There are days when I look old and tired too. But I realize I just need more rest or to make a change in my life. Your real face is a barometer for how happy you are. You may not need a facelift, just a change. 🙂

If you liked this blog, feel free to buy me a kombucha: https://ko-fi.com/maryannechristianomistretta

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

Guest Speaker at Women Empowerment Event

Yesterday I was honored to be a guest motivational speaker at Leading By Mission’s “Women Empowerment” event at The Neighborhood House Association, Plainfield, NJ.

Being a part of something so positive never gets old!

Most speakers rehearse, but I like to get up there and go with the flow. After meeting with many entrepreneurs, on the fly, I decided to speak on YOUR STORIES!

You can view my speech on my You Tube channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZti6Cg27ec

With Leading By Mission, CEO, Carolyn Page

And, with speaking coach, Speaker Brand Strategist, Ciara Shanae

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

Bloganuary Challenge – Day 25 – What Makes You Feel Strong?

Me, 2007, age 44

What makes me feel strong? That’s an easy one–ME!

I worked hard to be able to work for myself as a writer. Knowing that I can effortlessly DELIVER a stellar product that needs minimal editing in minimal time makes me feel invincible. I get such a high off my work, my heart races. Being my own boss is strength and I owe it to no one but myself.

Prior to falling in love with my husband, and finally having a beautiful soul to lean on, I lived alone for 15 years. While I dated plenty, there was no one I was serious about and I did most everything for myself and by myself.

I’m so blessed I married a man who trusts me. I feel so free; more so than when I was single. We’re together most of the time, but sometimes if I want to do something alone (usually career-related, like a business trip, or lunch with the girls) I can count on him to be trusting and genuinely happy for me. Marrying a man like that was important to me.

Having a strong sense of independence in both your career and personal life is empowering. I think every woman should rely on HERSELF for strength! Strength = Security! You can do it!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

Book Review: “Face” by Justine Bateman

It was a chore getting through this book. I kept putting it down because it was so depressing, though I like Justine’s style of writing. I had high hopes as I read the beginning where Justine wrote about how proud she is of her aging face. (She truly is beautiful, cool looking, and has a slammin’ body and great hair).

The bad news is, the stories were nonsensical. It’s just a bunch of rambling from insecure women who took to heart insensitive comments from misogynist, ageist men. Thank God these shallow Neanderthal fools who judge women on their looks are the exception–not the rule. Let them have their gold digging younger women who will leave them in the end anyway. Who cares!

I’m on Facebook regularly and I see so many positive things male fans of all ages write to older female celebrities. They ask Julie Newmar out to dinner; they say how hot Jill Biden is; and our sisters, fellow women, praise the natural beauty of aging models like Isabella Rossellini. Older women are now celebrated more than over, making this book very dated.
As women, we have choices. Go where they love is. It doesn’t make sense to stay with a man who expects you not to age (or judgmental, insecure female friends who expect you to go for Botox treatments with them — or fat shame you even if you’re still a size 6, but no longer a 4). They are the weirdos. Let’s stop giving them attention.

I have a brother-in-law who said it best, “A woman who is a 6 can easily be a 10 with a great personality.”
Men have evolved since the 1980s; let’s give men more credit and stop producing pity party books like this, as it only addresses a small percent of the man-child population who haven’t grown up to be real men yet.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is in the process of writing her next book “Fantastic Without Plastic” which will be a positive book on aging naturally. She is still seeking participants. If you are over 50 and have not altered your face, please be in touch.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, editing, and writing. She is also available for book signings and motivational speaking engagements (via ZOOM during covid). She is now coaching aspiring writers via ZOOM.

Maryanne is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: Love Cats

Turning My Back on Age 55

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta

Today is my last day of age 55.

It’s been an incredible year. My fourth book was published and I wrote a fifth (which will be published later this year). I’ve helped two other people write their books, while I tried to help even more who have given up on the process. Yet I never give up.

It’s been another year of growth, spiritually and creatively. I joined Toastmasters to become a better speaker. I not only won a spot to present a workshop, “Be Your Own Hero,” but I’ve won “Best Speaker,” “Best Evaluator,” and “Best Table Topics.” I’ve continued to present speaking engagements in libraries.

I also started an anti-bullying You Tube channel. And blogging, lots of it for major companies and small businesses.

I’ve loved hard; and I’ve lost hard. Last summer my husband and I took in a beautiful feral cat, Bennie, who chose us to live with during the final months of his short three years. We gave him a happy last few months, then he was put down due to brain cancer. We’ve also lost some friends who died way too young. As well as some high profiles like Shakti Gawain, who has been inspiring me since I found her book in the late 1980s, “Creative Visualization.”

As always, it’s been a year of much fun. Friends, concerts, trips, and lots of laughter. And yet, another cat we adopted back in April–Sammy, with the full name, Samuel Keane Clemens.

I end the year in good health, for which I never take for granted. Young people still tell me, “You look so young” when I share my real age, for which I am always proud of. Many do not make it to 55, so I am so grateful for each day on this planet, and thank the energy we call God or the Universe.

It’s a great life and I’ve manifested it; being in harmony with the universe. Being myself. Being YOUnique. God bless everyone who is a part of my own little world.

Bring on year number 56! I am ready!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, ghost writing, writing, and motivational speaking engagements. She is the author of the following books :

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: Ten Ways to Become Your Own Hero” will be available October 2019. To pre-order, go here: https://kicamprojects.com/shop/be-extraordinary/

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261

Older Women Look Younger Nowadays

55 and proud of it! 

As a journalist, a few years I interviewed a grandmother who authored a book. She said she wrote the book because she was tired of grandmothers being portrayed as women with gray hair tied back in a bun. Those days are long gone, she believed. Her picture of a grandmother was modernized to represent her as a grandmother. This grandmother was a lady who was in shape, wore stylish clothes, and had long flowing dark hair.

Modern middle-aged women definitely have it going on. More so than generations before us. I can’t quite pinpoint why, but can only guess. Our stress factors are lower because we know how to take care of ourselves. We work hard, but we know when to take a “time out.” We treat ourselves by going to the spa, by taking time to relax and do creative things, and of course, retail therapy. We do it all, but we don’t forget to make ourselves a number one priority, therefore having the stamina to be able to give more of ourselves to others.

Even though I dye my hair, I can assure you that I have minimal grays. It’s not hereditary. My grandmother was gray young, and so was my mother.

The thing is, there is less tension in my life, as well as the lives of my peers. Because my generation has been independent — making our own money and marrying later in life — we end up with men because we truly love them, not because we need them. I’m proud to be a part of an age group that began the trend of marrying someone you could call your very best friend.

I’d also like to add, that by the time you are in your 40s and 50s, you know what looks good on you. You have the confidence you lacked in your 20s and 30s. You’ve experienced with different looks, changed your closet as your body changed, and now have a killer wardrobe, as well as great shoes. Maybe you now have a gut, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that you still have toned, rockin’ legs.

By doing more of what we want, dressing how we want, wearing our hair how we want,  by being with who we want to be with, and by surrounding ourselves with like-minded women with youthful spirit, the result is — YES, WE DO LOOK MUCH YOUNGER THAN WE ARE! And there should be nothing wrong with that.

However, lately I’ve been coming across some negative comments on articles about older women. Women of a certain age do not like that the models used in the articles are so “young looking.” They don’t feel these women represent their age bracket. But they DO!

Those who look their age or older are definitely in the minority. They can easily look younger with a good make-over, a little less stress in their lives, and giving themselves a little tender loving care.

If I’m making it sound “easy” well it’s not. I grew up during the 1980s and that meant that 25 was old. From that point, I took care of myself with the little info I had back then. I was into yoga from a young age. I stopped eating conventional meats. I avoided preservatives and additives 80 percent of the time (and still do, with cheats). And I realized from the time I started working that I’d always support myself and only marry if I was truly in love. But the biggest thing that makes me look younger, I think, is I do not smoke. Others are also giving up this stinky habit. And I’m a happy, non-gossipy person. Now people are finally realizing how ugly and stressful bad-mouthing can be. Smart women don’t do that; it’s actually frowned upon. It’s great because when we get together, we talk more about ideas and fun stuff in life. We aren’t bitter because we’re honestly in a happy place.

I’m sure other foxes over 40 and 50 will agree with most of what I am saying. Long gone are the Edith Bunker hairstyles for women our age. Long gone are the days of sneaking cigarettes when our husbands aren’t around because we don’t lie to our spouses, they accept us as we are. Long gone are the days of busting our asses cleaning the house. We either hire cleaning help or don’t mind a little mess. And long gone are the days of talking trash about other women — we are here to support each other!

So, next time you are reading an article about older women, and you think the model doesn’t look her age, think again. Most of us don’t! After all, pretty is as pretty does, and most of us are pretty darn awesome!

Maryanne Christiano Mistretta has authored four books and is working on her fifth. If you enjoyed this blog, you may love her fiction book “Love Cats” about love in the 1980s. It’s available on Amazon in Kindle and paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Love-Cats-Maryanne-Christiano-Mistretta-ebook/dp/B00YBGVJQS

She’s also a motivational speaker available for talks at schools, JCC’s, women’s clubs, rotary clubs, and corporations. Email her for pricing and availability at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com 

Thou Shalt Not Commit Adulthood

So this is 55?! (Photo taken on my 55th birthday) 

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is an author and a motivational speaker. Contact her at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com

Thou Shalt Not Commit Adulthood

I grew up in a time where being “old” began as young as 22. In the 1980s when most of us started working, we were out of the house! No question about it. And if you weren’t married or engaged by 25 you were considered an old maid.

But now things have changed. People are living at home well into their 30s. Marrying later and having children even later. Or having children, then marrying. Even more inspiring are the women in their 70s, 80s, and 90s who are still modeling, dancing, and doing yoga! Don’t believe me? You’ll find them all on You Tube!

Therefore what was once considered “old” has changed.

I like to believe it was my generation that started the change. Everyone was getting married in their 20s, but I decided to wait. Nowadays women in their 50s and 60s who waited have the best relationships with their husbands or long term partners, saying things like, “I married my best friend” or “I met my soul mate.” Parties we throw are integrated with men and women mixing all over the house! But I’m sure we can remember our parents’ parties, segregated with men in the living room and women in the kitchen. Bah to that!

Even those of us who don’t get Botox (I don’t!) look younger than they are thanks to cool clothes and flattering hairstyles. Generation gaps are less “gappy” because we can be friends with women of all ages. I have female friends in their 20s, 30s, and 40s (all younger) as well as older women in their 60s and 70s!

We’re also more in tune with health and spirituality than previous generations, which also helps us to age better. Being in your 50s is a great time to be alive; I LOVE it!

Much younger people have told me I’m “stylish” and  I have “young energy.” I thought long and hard, why that is. Once I figured it out, I decided to make a list of Top Five Things Women Over 50 Should (or Shouldn’t) Do to Seem Younger.

Here’s what I came up with …

1. Don’t Obsess Over Your Hair. I’ve noticed that the women in my own age bracket who look youngest don’t always have perfect hair. They don’t have hair that is all one color. They are more free-spirited with highlights, even with some gray peering through. They also tie their hair up in a bun, wear hats, ponytails, or braids. And they never use hairspray. I go by this too and I think this is just half the battle of having young energy.
2. Don’t Obsess Over Your Weight. Over the past decade or so I’ve noticed a very sweet trend among younger women. They love each other just as they are! They tell each how beautiful they are and are oblivious to weight gain. Older women can learn a thing or two from these youngsters! I’m not saying run out and eat White Castles every day. What I am saying is don’t worry about your gut, your boobs, or your thighs. Once you reach 50, there’s no doubt that it is harder to stay at your perfect weight. So why not just embrace your weight gain? Most guys love those extra pounds anyway. Nothing says “What an old stick in the mud!” more than a woman who constantly bitches about her weight and fat-shames other women. Young women have evolved. They don’t shame each other or gossip about each other. Let’s evolve too and be friends; not beat each other up by being catty.
3. Do Seek Out New Music. When people say there’s no good music around nowadays, I have to laugh. There’s a whole big wide world full of music and if you can’t find something good, maybe you just don’t like music! Instead of scrolling past things on your iPhone, why not stop at something your friend recommends? Sometimes I’ll post new music on Facebook and only one person actually listens to it. This is why you THINK there’s no good music, because you’re too damn lazy to seek it out! I’d challenge anyone on this, but haters can be so stubborn they will find something wrong with something new without giving it a chance. But trust me, if you liked Queen or The New York Dolls back in 1974, there are more than one indie band that sounds just like them. Young people groove on the retro and emulate the ground we grew up on. Don’t discount their ability to deliver!
4. Do Give Compliments to Other Women. Back in the 1980s when I first started out in the workforce unfortunately people were still homophobic. I’ll never forget being nice and telling another girl her new hairstyle looked “cute.” Then she got all bent out of shape falsely assuming I was hitting on her. (Wow, how self-absorbed was that?!) Thank GODDESS times have changed! Young women of today are extremely supportive of each other and that is acceptable. They are generous with hugs and even hand-holding. Inspired by young women, I do all this with my middle-aged female friends. Why? It’s sweet, it’s fun, and it means we are warm people. We tell each other how beautiful we are and we say “I love you” to each other. Gone are the days, at least in my world, where women are at each other’s throats and giving each other the jealous green-eye. Young girls are kind and sweet. If you smile at a young girl, you’re much more likely to get a smile back than if you smile at a middle-aged woman. Ladies in my age bracket (and a little younger and a little older — you know who you are!) let’s change all that! If there’s one thing the younger generation can teach us is how to be more loving towards each other. Love, love, LOVE!
5. Thou Shalt Not Commit Adulthood. Since I first became really old, at the age of 30, my motto was “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adulthood.” I continued to challenge myself, talk to younger people, do fun things, not worry what others thought about me, dress the way I liked, speak my mind, and so on.  I sing. I act silly. I pose for photographs with toys and on children’s rides at amusement parks. My goal for each day is to do something fun that I could tell my grandchildren (if I had any!) This is the biggest rule of all when you want to stay young at heart!

Mentions in “Model Mayhem” and “The Italy Daily”

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta (photo by Steven Redfearn)

It’s always cool to log on the computer first thing in the morning and see that others are digging what you’re doing.

First, I was thrilled to go on my Twitter page and see that The Italy Daily (http://paper.li/GoodBlogPosts46/1318252792?edition_id=8ddff650-d99f-11e4-b0cf-002590a5ba2d) shared, in their Arts & Entertainment section, my WordPress blog about my lecture “Italian American Food Family & Community” at the Carlstadt Library, Carlstadt New Jersey: https://maryannemistretta.wordpress.com/2015/04/02/italian-american-food-family-and-community-at-carlstadt-public-library/

I immediately signed up for updates! Oh, the food on this page is to die for!

Next, I was equally as excited to see that my picture on Model Mayhem was put in the “Killer Mature Models” section: http://www.modelmayhem.com/list/3457

I dabbled in glamor modeling since my 20s. Glamor modeling means you don’t have to be super tall or super skinny. In my 20s to early 40s I modeled swimwear and lingerie — also ice skating outfits and a guitar ad.

Me, in an ad for Guitar Giveaway at Long & McQuade Music, circa 1992

Now at 51, I decided to put my profile up on Model Mayhem and see what kind of results I’d get. This was two days ago and I’m getting some great response already! I am so honored to be a part of Model Mayhem! My goal is to illustrate to all women that life just keeps getting better! We have no expiration dates on us (as you can see, checking out the other lovely Killer Mature Models on that link!) And to work with some awesome photographs, continuing to make great pictorial art!

So my shout outs for today are to the Italian Community and all ladies over 40! Stay busy and happy!

My favorite picture at 51 so far, taken in December!