women’s rights

All posts tagged women’s rights

Only Creeps Say “karen”

Published July 18, 2020 by Maryanne

CreepsPhoto by Robert Zunikoff, courtesy of Unsplash

If you Google what the slang term “karen” means, there’s just so much about it and so many ways to analyze it, and misuse what it originally meant. In a nutshell, nowadays, it’s any middle-aged white woman who complains to a manager because she feels entitled. We’ve gotten to that point where the term is so misused (like the words “narcissism” and “literally”) it’s derogatorily tossed at ANY woman who complains.  It’s a stupid word that translates to “Shut the fuck up — WOMAN!” It is downright nasty — and creepy! And merely another way loser men try to belittle women; taking us back to the 1800s. Way to go, assholes!

I get it, you think you’re such a big deal sticking up for a worker who doesn’t do his/her job right? Well, let me ask you, why should a person who works in service be cuddled like a little lamb? If you are hired to do a job of service your job is to do it with a smile on your face. Don’t take your shit out on customers!

This is where society has gone wrong — big time. Long gone is the saying, “The customer is always right.” We’re living in times where it’s frustrating to even call on a manager because no one has the balls to train their employees correctly. People of service can do whatever the hell they want — and get away with it. They will lie and so will the manager in order to not look bad. No one wants to man up and be responsible for screwing up.

That is bad news. You can’t even say it’s “bad business” because no one cares. From the largest corporation down to small businesses, everyone has to be right. All. The. Time.

And you have the self-righteous stander-bys  chiming in, “Calm down KAREN” which makes the situation no better. Doing that makes you a BULLY! Why don’t YOU calm down and mind your own business? No, man’s gotta be a “hero” — but the “hero” has it all wrong. Making someone feel small just because she spoke up for herself makes you a ZERO! And a CREEP!  In fact, anyone who jumps on the “karen” bandwagon is a CREEP and here’s why:

  • Mentally stable people don’t call names. If there’s a problem, they talk to each other like adults.
  • Mentally stable people don’t randomly attack others. They mind their own business.
  • Good service is a part of the job. A worker is representing a company. When you go to an establishment, you deserve good service. No one should be called names for calling a manager if service is not up to par. In fact, going to management will help the establishment develop and grow. You learn from mistakes, so put on your big boy pants and LEARN!
  • Using a sexist/ageist term in general means you are a loser. Sexism and ageism is a thing. Educate yourself.
  • Women should not be silenced. Simple as that.

So, you have a choice. Do you want to continue acting like a big baby and calling others names? Or do you want to up your game and learn that it’s not cool to judge people?

And, to the ladies, I say, continue to stick up for yourself if you’re being treated poorly. Don’t let men try to silence and shame you by name-calling. They are fools. You know who you are!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, ghost writing, writing. She is also available for book signings and motivational speaking engagements. In addition to Love Cats, she is the author of the following books :

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: Love Cats

Visit Maryanne’s You Tube Channel here: Be YOUnique

 

It’s True, Some Gay Men Are Misogynist

Published February 25, 2019 by Maryanne

gay men hating women

I don’t remember my very first experience with a gay man, but in my younger day I do remember getting along great with gay men. So much so that one wanted to kiss me because he thought “women are beautiful.” He was so cute, he reminded me of Peter Burns before he got all the plastic surgery. We kissed and talked until the sun came up.

Because of him, I considered myself a supporter of the gay community. Plus the fact that one of my favorite entertainers, Freddie Mercury is gay. Living so close to NYC, I’ve known so many gay men in passing; some transvestites too. They were great and so much fun.

As I got older, I supported the gay community by attending Pride Parades in NYC, going to Wigstock, shedding a million big tears for transgender teens Matthew Shepherd and Brandon Teena, hanging out in gay bars, going to gay rights rallies, and being one of the first reporters to write about gay marriages.

The first time I ever heard anything negative from a gay man was when I worked with at a newsroom in NYC. He said loud enough for everyone in the office to hear, “I’m not attracted to women!”

Another man who was straight and misogynist laughed.

I found no humor in it. It wasn’t what the gay man said, but how he said it. He spoke his words harshly, as a put down to women.

I’ve also heard a gay man say the stereotypical line, “Vaginas are ugly.”

And another call a woman a “slut.”

If I dig deep enough into my brain, I’m sure I’d remember much more.

A few years ago I was getting my hair cut in a salon, by a woman, and a gay man (who also worked there as a stylist) was on an anti-woman rant. It was so pathetic and ignorant, I stopped going to the salon, even though the woman gave me a great cut.

Several months ago, I found myself in a situation where I had to work creatively with a gay man. This one had a reputation for being nasty to women. He belittles women and throws the F-bomb at them when he gets pissed. Over nothing of importance I might add, so I can’t imagine what he’d do in a real crisis!. He runs hot and cold which scared me because he was like a ticking time bomb; a real loose cannon. All the makings of a bully. Towards women only.

When I told my husband that this man used the F word towards me, my husband wanted to go talk to the gay man personally. “No one talks to my wife that way,” my super cool husband said in my defense.

The thing is, some gay men DO talk to straight woman that way. Just like some straight men are misogynist, some gay men are misogynist, especially if a woman isn’t up to his high standards. I mean, if you’re of a diva status like Cher, you’re in. But even if the gay man isn’t that attractive himself, he’ll stoop to the lowest level and trash on a woman he feels is “unattractive.”

Some gay men are both misogynist and ageist. I used to work in an editorial department with a gay man (who was in the closet). He harassed me on a regular basis. I asked a male co-worker, “What did I ever do to him?”

He said, “You turned 40.” (Funny thing, I looked him up on Facebook recently, and he looks older than I do–and I’m now 55 and he’s probably like 30-something! Heh. Karma’s an evil bitch, right?)

They thing is, women shouldn’t feel like they should be silenced because they fear they will piss off the gay community by speaking up. In all walks of life, there are assholes. And assholes should be called out for what they are — assholes. There are straight misogynist assholes. There are gay misogynist assholes. That is the truth. What is the demographic? I don’t know, but it’s certainly more than people want to admit because they are afraid if they speak out against the gay community they will be viewed as homophobic.

But ladies, please don’t be afraid. You know, in your heart you are NOT homophobic. So don’t let people pull that card on you for telling your truth. Just share eloquently as I am sharing, and the smart ones will understand. As for others who want to spew hate on your behalf and twist things around, you don’t need them anyway!

I’ll always view misogyny as vile no matter who is the one with the misogynist views — a straight man or a gay man. But if a misogynist crosses my path, I will NOT be silenced!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is the author of the memoir “I Don’t Want to Be Like You” which is about her experiences growing up being bullied. She now is putting adult bullies in their places and available for public speaking engagements! Links to the book are here: 

HGBM Store:  https://highergroundbooksandmedia.com/product/i-dont-want-to-be-like-you

Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1536446696&sr=8-2&keywords=maryanne+christiano+mistretta

Kindle:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07H6H4CY1/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1536446756&sr=8-1&keywords=maryanne+christiano+mistretta+kindle 

Her next book, “Be (Extra) Ordinary: Ten Ways to Be Your Own Hero” will be out October 2019. Pre-order your copy today! https://kicamprojects.com/shop/be-extraordinary/

 

Are You Making a Difference Today?

Published September 14, 2018 by Maryanne

Victoria Woodhull

For the few who know how to read …
Is everyone following their dreams today? I am.
Is everyone working towards making the world a better place?
I am.
The biggest dream I have for 2019 is to get into the schools and speak on anti-bullying. I don’t say this verbally because you mention “bully” and people like to bring up how our president is the biggest bully. While I agree, I must also add that I feel neither party is 100 percent correct. Being an extremist and not finding flaw with your own party, going by a protocol is wrong.
You have to take your own steps to make the world a better place even if it means getting angry because that’s when you make a difference. Even if people laugh at you, STILL have your say! Laugh back at them because your views are just as important as everyone else. Especially if you are a woman, it’s your right.
Sharing hateful posts on Facebook that YOU DIDN’T WRITE isn’t going to do anything to change our country. Being right isn’t going to do anything to change our country. Calling someone a bully isn’t going to do anything to change our country. If you strongly believe in something, take a giant step towards doing it. You WILL be heard.
My two biggest inspirations are Rosa Parks and Victoria Woodhull. One changed the world, the other sure did try!
If you don’t know who they are, educate yourself about them. Be inspired and do your part. Especially if you are a woman! Being silent is not a good thing. If you’re shy and quiet, work towards having a bigger mouth, you CAN make a difference.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is the author of the memoir “I Don’t Want to Be Like You” which is about her experiences growing up being bullied. She now is putting adult bullies in their places! Links to the book are here: 

HGBM Store:  https://highergroundbooksandmedia.com/product/i-dont-want-to-be-like-you

Amazon:  https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Be-Like-You/dp/1726273261/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1536446696&sr=8-2&keywords=maryanne+christiano+mistretta

Kindle:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07H6H4CY1/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1536446756&sr=8-1&keywords=maryanne+christiano+mistretta+kindle