Bloganuary Day 6 – Why Do You Write?

FOR THE MONEY! LUCKY ME!

Why do you write? Perhaps I can say “for the money” because I’m blessed that this is what I do for a living. That photo above is my latest book, which can be found in Barnes & Noble bookstores, and also the first book I wrote where I received an advance check! Coincidentally, today a check is going in the mail from another book publisher — as I just signed a contract to write my sixth book which will be about the Jersey Shore!

However, it didn’t start out that way. I was a very late bloomer. No, I didn’t write for the school newspaper. As a teen, I was a lost soul who didn’t know what I wanted in life. I just wanted to be left alone and not bullied. I somehow knew better days were coming. The month I graduated was the happiest day of my life. My younger sister Kim said something genius to me, “Now you should want the time to go really slow.” I had everything to live for because the bullies were GONE!

I didn’t go to college and began working right away. I came from a single-parent household and had to pay “room and board” to live at home. I had a temp job, then I worked as a shipping clerk at Scribner Book Company. I was around books and often had the opportunity to bring freebies home and read. I was always a reader and loved going to the library with my mom as a kid.

Back then, the drinking age was 18. Since I loved music, I went to see bands in New York City every single night and come home around 5 a.m. because life began after midnight back in the early 1980s. The next day I’d sleep in my car during my lunch break.

I had become friends with a young girl named Lisa James (RIP) — who later became TJ Ellis after transitioning to male, and we kept in touch until TJ’s death a few years ago. Out of respect, I will call “Lisa” by their name TJ. … TJ had this really cool fanzine (a self-published fan magazine) called Punk, Junk, and Pasttimes. She made me her assistant editor and I helped her write articles and conduct interviews. We had some very wild times with NYC punk musicians, which I’ll share another time. But this is what gave me the writing bug.

All this was before the internet and if you wanted to get published, you’d have to type stories on a typewriter. I didn’t get my first home computer until the 1990s. I took at home writing courses from Writer’s Digest and The Children’s Institute of Literature. Back then, I was hesitant about my talents and only submitted a few stories and received a few rejection slips. In the meantime, I wrote poetry, which was easy. I read my poetry in coffee houses, art galleries, and bars. And it was very well received. I even had a write up in the Star Ledger, which is a very popular New Jersey newspaper.

My big break came in 1995. I was hired as assistant to the publisher for Outlaw Biker Enterprises. They published magazines like Outlaw Biker, Tattoo Review, Skin Art, Art Alternatives, and In the Flesh. In the very beginning I sold ads for the magazines. I excelled and even got bonuses. But I did not want to be a sales person, I wanted to write. I became friends with the editor and by that summer, I had my first article published — worldwide!! These magazines were extremely popular with young people in the tattoo community all over the planet!

From then, I went on to write for a series of newspapers and magazines in NYC. It was like being a celebrity. I was able to get on the guest list for all theatre, free meals at restaurants, and live music. Sometimes I’d work until the wee hours of the night and get to go home in a town car! What a life!

After 9/11 I didn’t want to work in NYC anymore, and I scored a job at a local newspaper for seven years. Again, the perks were incredible. Plus this time I even got free yoga classes! I also became an award-winning journalist, exposing the Montclair police force for writing more tickets for parking violations versus moving violations.

Seven years later, I decided to work for myself and created my company Pear Tree Enterprises (the link is below) during the summer of 2008. I’ve helped countless writers edit their books and get them published. From 2013 to 2019 I wrote five books. One of those five books, “Love Cats” is in it’s second printing under my pen name Kyrstianna Mercury.

In addition to book writing, I continue working as an editor, journalist, and proofreader. (Along with public/motivational speaking, non-union acting, cat sitting, and sometimes over 50 modeling!)

I absolutely love my career as a writer and feel blessed to make a living doing so. Writing isn’t something you decide to do — writing chooses YOU. If you find yourself unhappy at your day job, not getting along with people because they are not as deep as you are, or not being able to go ONE DAY without writing, even if it’s just in your journal, this may be your calling!

And do not think, for one minute, that writers can’t make money. Yes, it’s not the same as it was decades ago, but YOU CAN make a lot of money as a writer, with a very healthy, comfortable salary. Just keep shooting those arrows. Perhaps start part-time then elevate to a career!

I wish all writers the best of luck! I am available for ZOOM coaching, as I’ve coached other writers. Email me for rates and to set up a consult: maryannechristiano@gmail.com …. I am a real person and less expensive than many writing scams you see out there!

If you liked this blog, feel free to buy me a kombucha: https://ko-fi.com/maryannechristianomistretta

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

Visit my business page, Pear Tree Enterprises, at: https://peartreeenterprises.wordpress.com/

Highlights of 2022

Billie Eilish performance at The Prudential Center in New Jersey (Photo by Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta)

JANUARY/FEBRUARY

The year of 2022 should be called The Year of Concerts. My husband and I attended many outdoor concerts during the pandemic, but it was great going to live shows indoors again! We started off with The Glimmer Twins on New Year’s Eve; and then saw Billie Eilish in February. Many more were to follow throughout the year: Johnny Mathis, 1910 Fruitgum Company, Jonathan Richman, Sophie B. Hawkins, Paula, Cole, Patti Smith, The Smithereens, Todd Rundgren, and The Bongos … to name a few!

My husband and I also saw the play performance of “The Wedding Singer,” which was a hoot.

Creatively, I participated in Bloganuary (spelling?) for the very first time! I didn’t write all days, but I wrote many. It generated some interest in this organic blog, which I write for my own benefit — not to jack up followers or make money. This is strictly for ME and if anyone likes what they read, that is cool.

MARCH

In March, I was a guest speaker for Leading by Mission. My topic was “It’s All About Your Stories.”

That same month, “Bad Vegan” debuted. It was a documentary about the downfall of Sarma Melngailis, former owner of Pure Food & Wine. I was a huge fan of that restaurant and was honored to dine there many times. To this day, Pure Food & Wine remains my favorite restaurant of all time; and I am fully in support of Sarma Melngailis and always wish the best to her and her dog, Leon.

APRIL

In April, I was a guest on James Burns’ Anti-Bullying 101 podcast for the second time. I linked the podcast to my own anti-bullying YouTube channel, and you can see/hear it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh3cqhKbdWA&t=531s

Howie Pyro at Vintage Vinyl, a few years back

MAY

In May we lost the legendary Howie Pyro. Not only was he a fantastic musician and deejay, he was a very kind person. I first met him backstage at a Redd Kross concert in the early 1990s. A few years later, a friend told me about this “great band” called D-Generation. Howie Pyro was the bassist and I was hooked on their music. I saw them perform so many times and also ran into Howie many times over the years. He always had the time to chat. He is so missed.

On a happier note, May was the month that Paterson celebrated Palestine Way, naming part of Main Street “Palestine Way.” And I was there to cover the story! https://www.tapinto.net/towns/paterson/sections/community-announcements/articles/paterson-celebrates-palestine-way

(New Jersey sunset photo by Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta)

JUNE

June 2022 was the beginning of the Summer of 90 sunsets. It hardly rained and almost every night you could see a most gorgeous sunset. Fun and games continued and my husband and I saw The Glimmer Twins perform for the second time in the year.

JULY

Lots of summer fun and many date nights with my husband–concerts, going out to dinner, movies.

AUGUST

August started out horrible. My husband found a mauled bunny near our home and all animal rehabs in our area were filled to capacity! We drove over an hour to a beautiful rehab with wondrous grounds. I had high hopes that the bunny would survive and thrive. Sadly, the bunny didn’t make it. RIP, sweet little angel. We tried.

On, August 19, I celebrated my 59th birthday. I am extremely proud of my age, my accomplishments, and all the fun I’ve squeezed into my lifetime. I am fortunate and look forward to being 60 in 2023!

SEPTEMBER

In September I continued living my best life. I took some chances in my career–writing and acting–that didn’t pan out, but you win some, you lose some. Nevertheless the HIGH you get from trying is phenomenal.

My cat Sammy, the supermodel! (Photo by James Esposito)

OCTOBER

October was super special. My cat Sammy had the opportunity modeling collars for the Only An Ocean website! The photographer said he was a prince to work with. I am so proud of him for being so good and cooperative!

That same month I became a cat sitter for Meowtel. Earlier in the year I became certified to work with small animals, but I decided that was not what I wanted to do. Instead I figured I’d take advantage of my feline behavior certification and cat sit! I’ve only had two clients so far, but it is extremely rewarding. I’m meeting the nicest cats — and people!

October was also the month my public speaking engagements took off again! I stopped speaking during the pandemic and took a break from it. Come October, I started and now I have bookings up to April 2023!

Another cool thing in October, besides Halloween, is that it’s the month I get my eyes checked. For the second year in a row my eyesight improved! I attribute this to a vegan lifestyle because prior my eyes stayed stable from 2011 to 2020. Now my eyes got so much better, I’ll be getting glasses with a lesser prescription in May!

And if relating to the “Bad Vegan” story wasn’t close to home (with Pure Food & Wine being a restaurant I frequented often), another popular documentary, “The Watcher House” is relatable! Why? I live about 8 minutes from 657 Boulevard in Westfield, NJ.

While we are on the topic of Westfield, NJ, I’d like to point out, that’s also where Charles Addams lived. Westfield celebrates Addams every year. This year we visited the Rialto movie theatre which showcased his work. I even touched the desk her worked at!

The Hoboken Harvest Festival was a “go” after not happening for a few years due to the pandemic. I wrote about it for TAP Into Hoboken and took a ton of cute pictures: https://www.tapinto.net/towns/hoboken/sections/arts-and-entertainment/articles/16-photos-that-will-make-you-wish-you-didn-t-miss-the-hoboken-harvest-festival

While we were in Hoboken, it was cool to visit the building on Marine View Plaza where I got my start as a writer and wrote for Outlaw Biker, Tattoo Review, and In the Flesh (body piercing).

Maryanne as Mrs. Claus

NOVEMBER

In November I worked a gig as Mrs. Claus, and I hope to do more work as she in the future!

And before my husband and I went into hibernation mode, we went to see May Pang’s movie “The Lost Weekend” along with The Beatles exhibit at the Grammy Museum in Newark, NJ.

DECEMBER

I had my last speaking engagement for the year early in December. Other than seeing some friends and family, our plans for the rest of the month are pretty low key. But then again, with us, you never know.

This is all just a brief summary of the year. I’m sure as soon as I press the “publish” button I’ll think of 25 more things I would want to add.

WISHING EVERYBODY A BEAUTIFUL 2023!

If you liked this blog, feel free to buy me a kombucha: https://ko-fi.com/maryannechristianomistretta

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

Visit my business page, Pear Tree Enterprises, at: https://peartreeenterprises.wordpress.com/

I Can Do That!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta

The above photo was from Tuesday night. I was in anticipation of another outdoor summer concert, but reflecting back to a few days prior when I saw one of my idols, Patti Smith, perform at Count Basie Theatre.

It was one of many concerts I saw of her. And this one was more thrilling because I was accompanied by my husband, who never saw her before and really enjoyed himself.

Since then, I’ve been on a binge watching everything Patti Smith on You Tube. As much as I love her music, I especially love her interviews. She’s a wise sage; a warrior.

One interview in particular touched me. It illustrated how we can manifest our own destinies. She said after seeing Jim Morrison on stage, she said, “I could do that.”

Four powerful words can take us to the next level fierce. When we believe in ourselves, we can tap into something inside of us that can make others believe in us too.

Early in my career of being self-employed, before I became a professional speaker, I would help book artists gigs in restaurants, senior centers, assisted living facilities and libraries. One time an activities director wasn’t interested in the musician I was promoting, but said she wanted someone to speak about health.

I can do that, I said to myself. But first I asked her, “Do I need certification to speak on health?”

She said I didn’t.

“I can do that!” I said, eagerly.

Nevertheless, I did my homework and was able to speak about general, common sense type things like the importance of walking, eating whole foods, and not smoking.

I was nervous and read from the page, not connecting with the audience as I do today when I speak. But I was well received and invited back several times! Since then, I’ve spoken in front of countless audiences, from very small–as in four people–to over a hundred.

Nowadays, I hardly read my notes. I don’t stand behind a podium. I walk around, crack jokes, talk to the audience, and ad lib.

During the pandemic, my speaking career was on halt, but I’ve used ZOOM to my advantage, reaching people all over the world! Now that the pandemic has lightened up tremendously, I’m out and about again with six upcoming lectures!

And it all started with four great words — I can do that!

If you liked this blog, feel free to buy me a kombucha: https://ko-fi.com/maryannechristianomistretta

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

Visit my business page, Pear Tree Enterprises, at: https://peartreeenterprises.wordpress.com/

It’s In The Cards

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta

As an author, when your books go out-of-print, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. My first book, “On the Guest List: Adventures of a Music Journalist” was self-published. When Next Century Publishing became no more, I was secretly relieved. At the time I wrote it, it seemed like a cute idea. I took some fun stories and used song references for each chapter. But I got shy and left so much out. It may also have been too happy of a book. When people read books about the music business, they expect to hear about groupies, drugs, and gossip. My book was none of that–just down to earth fun. But many people did love it and I made a lot of money not only from direct sales, but selling on my own, doing book readings.

My second book, “Love Cats” was also self-published by Next Century. That was a fiction book, and a very cute story. That was my “baby.” I thought it was perfect — for those who would “get” the lesson I was driving out, “don’t be selfish.” After that one went out of print, it was picked up almost immediately by Pink Flamingo Media (the link is below). It was the first time I used a pen name, Krystianna Mercury.

My third book, “The Gypsy Smiled” was picked up by a non-vanity publisher, a traditional publisher. Even though it was the first book I didn’t have to finance, it was not the greatest experience. I counted the days until my 5-year contract was up! Luckily my next two books, “I Don’t Want to Be Like You” (published traditionally by Higher Ground) and “Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” (published by KiCam Projects) were much better experiences, and I was able to work with incredible people.

Last month the contract FINALLY ended with “The Gypsy Smiled.” I couldn’t wait to begin submitting it to other publishers for a second printing. When I submit a manuscript, I usually take an entire day and find out 17 publishers. That’s the magic number, and then someone says “yes.”

This time, I only submit to two, so far. I stopped submitting because I have other ideas for the book.

I’m not ready to speak publicly about these ideas because they may or may not work out. If they do, it will be really cool. If they don’t, I’ll go back to submitting for a second printing. I’m leaving it all up to the universe; and in gypsy-speak, “It’s in the cards.”

The thing is, I felt confident to “step out of the box.” That is major. So whether I win or lose, I still win.

We all do when we take a leap of faith!

If you liked this blog, feel free to buy me a kombucha: https://ko-fi.com/maryannechristianomistretta

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

How I Became An Award-Winning Journalist

When I view the stats of my blog from the back-end (what the public can’t view), I see that many people are finding my blog by writing “How did Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta become an award-winning journalist?” Okay, I’ll tell you (again)….

Back in 2002, I was an editorial assistant for The Montclair Times. I wrote about five articles per week. While I was complaining about how fast people drive, my co-workers were complaining about getting so many parking tickets.

My co-worker, Angela King and I decided to write an article, asking the question, “Do Montclair policemen give out more tickets for traffic violations or moving violations?”

What do you think?

The Montclair police department were not too happy that we exposed them — the fact that they wrote out more tickets for PARKING violations, as opposed to moving violations. Honest to God, someone went through a red light, almost hit me while I was walking, and a nearby cop was sitting in his car eating a donut, what a cliche, right? I knocked on his window and asked if he saw the guy go through the red light. He insisted he didn’t. URGH!

Our story won 2nd place from the NJ Society of Journalism and I got my award in the Bloomberg building back in 2002. I still have it showcased in my home.

My point here, if you got this far, my idols are all women who speak up. You can’t be a quiet mouse and expect to make a difference in the world. If something is wrong, do not turn a blind eye to it. I look back and have no regrets in my life because I don’t let anything stop me from doing what is right. I will always fight for what I believe in. And never stop fighting.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

Working in Jammies

Working in jammies?

I wrote the following on Facebook in 2014, before the pandemic, self-employed and working at home:

“It’s so true, when you look good you feel good. Working dressed up instead of pajamas or sweats today and accomplished so much in ONE hour, including getting people on the phone that I wasn’t able to reach since last October! So, no more working in jammies for me — ever again! 😃”

I’m sure I did work in my jammies again at some point. But how fun is it to get dressed up and work in full make-up, even if you’re not going anywhere?

Dress up!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

Happy Mom and Pop Business Day 2022

Autographing my book “I Don’t Want to Be Like You” for a child who was bullied.

Happy Mom and Pop Business Day!

I’ve been self-employed as a writer and editor since 2008.

I’m also an international author, with books in Barnes & Noble STORES.

I’m available to edit book manuscripts (completed manuscripts only at this time). Contact me to set up a free consult: maryannechristiano@gmail.com

I also help business owners write blogs and have MANY repeat clients!

I love my life!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

Love Your Pet Day 2022

Nicholas

I should have known something was up because Nicholas came to our bed at 4 a.m. wanting snuggles – not food. He started out between my husband and I and worked his way over to me. He just knew today was Love Your Pet Day! My husband and I are the proud pet parents of three beautiful cats!

Give your babies extra love on this special day!

Sammy

Happy

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: https://eroticbooknetwork.com/product/love-cats/

Maryanne is also available for book editing and coaching. Rates are competitive.

And for positive messages, visit Be YOUnique, the Anti-Bullying You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLq6J9MSvcjd-haQ30ycLWA/videos

I’m a lover…not a writer?

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta

I married a very talented musician. And everyone knows it. Whenever we run into people from his past, he’s known for the mark he made on the world, as a musician. Back in the 1980s he had one album, a video on MTV, dozens of articles in noted magazines, and a great following. His creative success came early in life and everyone remembers.

Me, on the other hand…

I was a late bloomer when it came to my creative career. It was always inside me to become a writer, but I was shy about it. I had grand plans of starting a fanzine as a teenager, but when it came time to call management to score interviews with rock stars, I chickened out. Nevertheless I was determined. I took a day job and took writing classes via snail mail. This was in the 1980s, before online colleges. I submitted maybe one article to a magazine and received one rejection slip. I finally got the nerve to perform poetry in front of a live audience. I was great. My poetry was okay, but I had a strong deliverance. The applause and positive feedback inspired me to do it again. And again. I had built my own small following, performing in coffee shops throughout New Jersey and New York City–Brooklyn, Queens, and Manhattan. During this time I began getting articles published in magazines, newspapers, and finally online. I even became an award-winning journalist. I was able to make a career in publishing for decades. I wrote five books. I received royalty checks. I got an advance for one of the books I wrote. And two of them were sold in Barnes & Noble. It doesn’t get much better than that. I did it and I can die happy.

But, to be honest. That is not what I’ll be remembered for. Unlike my husband, when I run into old acquaintances, I’m remembered for who I dated. Is it because I’m a woman? Is it because people pay more attention to musicians than writers? Or is it because some of the guys I dated were cool and that’s how people connect me?

When I write about my writing career, or public speaking career, on Facebook–or back in the day, Live Journal–people barely bat an eye. But put up a photo and all of a sudden it’s major attention. I think the bottom line is, sensory processing. It’s easier to look at a photo than to read an article. It’s also easier to look at art or listen to music. Words are harder to come by. The majority of people don’t read. They don’t even read this blog. They press “like” so I could go check out their pages. (But trust me, if I “like” your page, I read it. I’m an honest person, I wouldn’t want my “like” to support something I disagree with.)

That said, perhaps the art of like, love, infatuation, dating, is more intriguing than writing–to the average Joe. People want to know how I met my husband, or if I ever hear from a certain person I dated anymore, or why a certain relationship ended, blah.blah.blah. It’s so dull compared to legendary articles I’ve written. My all-time favorite article was for New York’s Westsider magazine back in the 1990s. It was a review for the play, “Mercury: A Rock God.” My lead was about how coincidental that Freddie Mercury died of AIDS in his 40s, and he also wrote the song “The Great King Rat” about a man who died in his 40s of another sexual degenerative disease. No one ever talks about that. Or about the legends I interviewed like Tommy James, Henry Winkler, Marianne Williamson, David Avocado Wolfe, Carol Alt, and Oleda Baker, to name a few.

No. They want to get to the dirt. Or keep a woman down.

Not long before the pandemic, I had a book signing event at a library. Afterwards I stopped at Whole Foods to pick up some groceries. A woman who was friends with one of my exes was working in the cheese section. She ran after me. I thought it was to say “hello” but she just wanted to talk about my ex. I quickly changed the subject and said, excitedly, “I just got back from one of my book signings!” She didn’t want to hear that. She RAN away from me! A 50+ year old woman was so intimidated by the fact that I was making a living as a writer, she felt the need to get away from me asap, as if I was a leper!

Are we still in the 18th or 19th centuries? Is writing — or anything in the limelight — unsuitable for women? Why are we still being identified by who we are dating and who are husbands are? I’m a rare gem who makes a fellow gal feel comfortable. When I meet a male friend’s wife, I want to know about HER. Not her relationship with HIM. Why can’t others follow suit?

I say this to not only men, but to other women….

If a woman is a writer, it’s because she needs to be heard. Somewhere along the line, she wasn’t. Perhaps she was shy as a youngster. Perhaps she was a late bloomer. Perhaps she was told as a child, “Children should be seen and not heard.” Perhaps she once or twice had a domineering, possessive boyfriend who wouldn’t let her say much. Perhaps she has a circle so tight, not many are invited in, yet she wants to share honest thoughts that some can relate to, even if they live halfway around the world.

Don’t ever belittle a writer. She may be hurting just as you are. Don’t ever belittle a writer. She also is much stronger than she lets on to be. Don’t ever belittle a writer. She did make a career as a writer. You can turn your head to her accomplishments, but deep down you will always know, they happened. Yes, they did. It’s part of her story.

She is much more than just a lover. She is who she is, not who she has been with. And, like it or not, you can’t deny it.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: Love Cats

Why Q&A Style Interviews are Not True Journalism

Photo by Marcel Straub

One of the benefits of being a self-employed writer is you get to pick and choose who you want to write for.

As a professional writer, mainly trained in news journalism, I include the subject’s voice in the content of the story. For example, see my recent articles here: https://maryannechristiano.contently.com/

That’s the preferred way to write for news publications. Oftentimes magazines opt for the Q&A type of interview. I did it myself a few times via blogging, or by special request of an editor or publisher. In this feature blog I wrote a few years ago when I conducted an interview with Coyote Shivers, it was done via email due to time constraints, with him being on the west coast, and me being on the east: https://maryannemistretta.wordpress.com/2015/09/01/dont-believe-a-word-interview-with-coyote-shivers/

That somehow worked, because you can’t go wrong with Coyote Shivers. But often it doesn’t. And here’s why….

When I used to copy edit for The Aquarian Arts Weekly, I wasn’t a fan of reading the Q&A style articles. It cheapens the subject the journalist is writing about and comes across as cold and not as informative. It’s an easy way to get “holes” (missing information) that leaves the reader questioning. This is why I don’t like when subjects say “Email me the questions” unless you’re interviewing a professional who is using medical terms and formulas that only other medical professionals will understand — for example, a trade publication. To chop up an article to a Q&A format so readers can look at it on their phones is not true journalism. I won’t work for any publisher who promotes tainting the art of true journalism.

When “journalists” resort to Q&A “journalism” they think it is cute to insert “um” or “uh” into the article if that is what the subject said. It’s not cute. It’s no fair. Your job, as a journalist, is to bring forth the subject in the best light possible. It’s also your job, as a journalist to ask the subject “Is this ‘on the record’ if they get comfortable with you and share very personal information. Journalism is a responsibility to your subject and your readers. Do it right. Just say “no” to the Q&A format.

I recently wrote a few articles for a publisher. It wasn’t until AFTER I interviewed the subjects and submitted my work that he bitched that it wasn’t in Q&A format. Wow, thanks for telling me that I worked too hard after the fact and that I could have slacked off a bit and you’d be happier with my work. (Note my sarcasm). I told him to “call me.”

When I got him on the phone, I was told that his webmaster said that Q&A format is better for SEO search engines and that people can read articles on their PHONE better with Q&A format. That’s a new one on me. Now journalists have to write in that tacky Q&A format to cater to those who only read on their phones?!

Uh, no. Writing is my art. Tell Freddie Mercury to cut “Bohemian Rhapsody” down to cater to the dullards with weak ears and a short listening span. DUH.

After that conversation, I agree to cut ties with this particular publisher. Yes, I am self-employed, but that doesn’t mean I am desperate. Telling me to write in Q&A style to suit those who read on their phones would be like telling Joe Dispenza to write for the National Enquirer. It would be going backwards. Way backwards.

I worked so hard to make a career in writing. I write because it’s in my heart and soul. I write because it’s in my blood. If I’m going to write articles in Q&A style for a living, I might as well go all out and start getting paid to write product descriptions for Walmart. How heartbreaking would that be?

They say when you do something you love, you never work a day in your life. I stand by that wholeheartedly. But “never working a day in your life” doesn’t mean doing sloppy, easy work that you are not proud of. I could never be proud writing article after article Q&A style. It would be like cutting my arm off. Just thinking about it brings a tear to my eye. That’s why I’m a writer. I am sensitive and protective of my muse. And I always will be. When publishers hire me, they will get my best. If they want me to perform my worst in order to get their SEO searches up, I am out the door.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, ghost writing, writing. She is also available for book signings and motivational speaking engagements (via ZOOM during covid). She is now coaching aspiring writers via ZOOM.

Maryanne is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: Love Cats