Fireworks by Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta
Honestly, the only time a friend should stop another friend from doing something is if they are harming themselves. And the first thing that comes to mind is — drugs.
Other than that, anything anyone wants to do, it’s their life they should be encouraged by a good friend — or anyone for that matter — to follow their dreams! Unlike drugs, dreams are healthy and if you can make them come true, even better!
Years ago, I was working as a journalist in the newspaper industry. I was living on my own for about 15 years and to cut corners I used mass transit instead of having a car and insurance payments. It wasn’t a problem and I never wanted for nothing — I had both a bus stop and a train station within my block.
When I was dating my future husband for about a year, we decided to move in together. He lived in a house in an area that mass transit was lacking, so I needed a car. My husband drove a PT Cruiser and I fell in love with it. I wanted my own.
My biggest mistake was casually sharing my dream with a co-worker. This woman shot me down immediately saying, “Ew, those cars are so uncomfortable!” From that moment on, I avoided this woman like the plague.
How dare she rain on my parade! If I felt the car was uncomfortable when I took it for a test drive, I wouldn’t get the car, right? Common sense, no? I did not need her ugly opinion and to this day I will never forget how crappy she treated me when I was excited about something. Needless to say, I ended up getting a PT Cruiser and enjoying it for several years before I got a new car!
It’s so sad that people are more in a bad habit of cutting people’s dreams down instead of just going with it. We’re all individuals and have different dreams and desires. Many people have dreams that are different than mine, but I won’t insult their dreams, I’ll always be happy for someone when they get something they want in life.
It’s not being “dishonest” if you are encouraging to someone who shares their dreams with you and you don’t necessarily agree with them. It’s being a good person — being someone who can take their mind off of themselves for one frigging moment and tell another person that you are proud of them or ecstatic for them!
If you’re not in the habit of doing this, regularly, I highly suggest you start. Because being a “Debbie Downer” makes a person undesirable.
My husband recently shared with me that he thinks “everyone” love me. I laughed because sometimes it doesn’t seem that way. I’ve had many people shoot down my dreams and it makes me secretly wonder if that’s their way of telling me they don’t like me. Or maybe they just have diarrhea mouth and are vomiting their hate using me as a punching bag. And that doesn’t feel too good, so that’s when I start avoiding people (like I avoided the co-worker many years ago).
Think about it. If you want a positive person to like you and want to be in your company, be that same positive person! Don’t shoot down people’s dreams. Unlike drugs, dreams are a good thing. Dreams are what get us out of bed in the morning. Dreams are what lift people out of a depressive state. Dreams are what keep us young.
Friends let friends dream!