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Why Do Weak People Call Others “Weak”?

Published November 17, 2017 by Maryanne

Delicate

I am a sensitive person — and proud of it.

My sensitivity makes me a caring, creative, loyal, passionate, hard-working person. When I wake up in the morning, I look in the mirror and can honestly say, “I like me.” Not to say I’m perfect. I made dumb mistakes, but will be the first to say when I’m wrong.

Then there are the times when I’m right. And being right, I have to stand up for myself.

Defending yourself — and your rights — is something a person with strong character does. Not everyone can do that. People who speak up are those who aim for a better place in life. They are dreamers who, at best, want a better world, and at the very least, strive for respect in their own little corner of the world.

That said, when someone says you are “delicate” because you don’t want to be treated like a dishrag, DO call them on their bullshit. It doesn’t make sense that someone can be downright nasty, but then if you give them a taste of their own medicine (and in a polite way, as most sensitive people do — unless they are pushed to the limit; and everyone has their limits) then they get all defensive. Is that the pot calling the kettle black? Yes!

Will “they” ever get it? Probably not.

Some people are just conditioned to blame — or bully — others for what they lack. It’s Real Life 101. The honest reason for this is because they are too lazy to work on themselves. With lack of elevation, weak minds do what they do best: manipulate, flock to a clique, lie about others to get their way, and if you don’t go with their program they will call you names like “delicate.” Meanwhile, they are the real fragile ones because they lack the knowledge (and desire) to become grown-ups. They live in a fantasy world — a world where they are always right. Their pride is pseudo. They wear masks to disguise their true fear.

When confronted with such types, the best thing any sane person could do is get away from them because you’ll never win. You could kill them with kindness, but that only goes so far. Name calling bullies and sensitive people will never mix well because sensitive people are the real movers and shakers of the world, while bullies are limited to being big fish in very small ponds. Don’t believe me? Just Google the famous person you admire most. Chances are they will admit to being bullied for being different or shy or thinking out of the box.

Have you been told you’re “too sensitive”? If so, be proud to carry that flag. It means you’ll go far in life! Continue to be sensitive; and continue to fight for your right to do so. That is true courage. And it’s far from being “weak” or “delicate.”

Maryanne Christiano Mistretta is the author of “On the Guest List: Adventures of a Music Journalist” a book about her struggles with being bullied. It’s available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Guest-List-Adventures-Music-Journalist/dp/162903908X

OR email Maryanne directly for a cheaper, autographed copy: maryannechristiano@gmail.com 

 

 

 

 

 

Book Signing for “On the Guest List” for Nutley Book Club, Nutley, NJ

Published November 7, 2017 by Maryanne

DSCF0662From left – Maria Labadia, Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta, Kiran Patel

Last night I was extremely honored to do a book reading/signing for the Nutley Book Club, Nutley, New Jersey, at the Nutley Library.

Of all my book signings since I published my first book, “On the Guest List: Adventures of a Music Journalist” (https://www.amazon.com/Guest-List-Adventures-Music-Journalist/dp/162903908X) this was by far my favorite because the guests read the book prior to the event!

It’s the coolest feeling for an author to hear, “I wanted to meet you!”

We had a great time talking about the book and people sharing their own musical experiences. The one thing I always hear about “Guest List” is that even if readers don’t know the bands I’m speaking about, they are relating because of how my love for music translates on the pages. “Like reading a diary” I’m often told.

Prior to the reading, Maria and Kiran took me to a wonderful dinner at Luna restaurant. I had great conversation and laughs with two wonderful ladies.

It was indeed a five-star night!

Maple Holistics Tea Tree Shampoo

Published November 4, 2017 by Maryanne

Tea Tree Oil Shampoo

As a holistically minded person who has used cruelty free products since the 1990s, I was thrilled to discover Maple Holistics Tea Tree shampoo.

Tired of using the same old shampoo, I was seeking a little variety, which is hard to find when you’re not only going for cruelty free, but also hypoallergenic. This shampoo is both!

This special formula promotes hair growth (which I don’t need since I have a health head of hair), but it’s a nice added bonus to a shampoo that smells really nice and left my hair feeling silky soft.

One super bonus this shampoo has that no other does is what happens when you accidentally get it in your eyes — NOTHING! When this happens with other shampoos, sometimes my eye is red and burning for two, even three days. But this product is so gentle, it got in my eyes (and I wear contacts too!) and not only did it not sting or burn, but I got out of the shower and my eyes were their normal white. Wow! This shampoo is truly a godsend!

For more information on Maple Holistics, visit: https://www.mapleholistics.com/

And for your own free samples, visit here: https://www.mapleholistics.com/free-sample/

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is an award winning journalist and health advocate. She’s the author of “On the Guest List: Adventures of a Music Journalist” available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Guest-List-Adventures-Music-Journalist/dp/162903908X

The Love of an Animal

Published October 28, 2017 by Maryanne

True LoveNicholas Gray and Maryanne

“Until one has loved an animal a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” — Anatole France. 

 

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is the author of “Love Cats” available on Amazon in paperback and kindle editions: https://www.amazon.com/Love-Cats-Maryanne-Christiano-Mistretta/dp/1681020513

Halloween Season in Ringoes and Lambertville, NJ

Published October 22, 2017 by Maryanne

DSCF0559Loving the baby goats in Ringoes

Today was my first full day back in New Jersey since the trip to Atlanta. While I didn’t miss the Jersey attitude, I certainly missed the autumn colors. It was great to spend a Sunday on the road with my husband, going to farms for produce and taking in the super beautiful day.

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This house in Lambertville has these incredible decorations — all handmade. They are very Burton-esque. We first discovered them a few years ago; and were happy to see that they are not only there again, but the display expanded from the front lawn to around the alleyway!

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DSCF0591My husband, Dennis Lords — Mr. Halloween himself! 

Rockin’ in Atlanta

Published October 21, 2017 by Maryanne

DSCF0512Atlanta, Georgia (Photo by Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta)

Some time ago I wrote that after nine years of being self-employed, I started working in the editorial department at a magazine. That said, I went on my first business trip with the company. My days were very full, but I had free nights. Being the music lover I am, the first night I had dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe (now I’ve been to three — Atlanta, NYC, and Atlantic City).

DSCF0521Iggy Pop’s leather at Hard Rock Cafe

Being a big Iggy fan (more so for his solo efforts than The Stooges), seeing his leather was a notable for me. Other great items were outfits by Tina Turner, Stevie Nicks, and Steven Tyler, plus a Led Zep concert ticket that never happened because of the death of John Bonham.

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Herman’s Hermits starring Peter Noone at City Winery, Atlanta

(Photo by Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta)

Now, before I even got on the plane, I had it in my head that I was going to see Peter Noone at the City Winery, Atlanta. This was about the 6th time I saw him and Noone just keeps getting better and better. He did all his hits: “Dandy” “No Milk Today” “Something Good” “Listen People” “Mrs. Brown You’ve Got a Lovely Daughter” “Henry the 8th” and “There’s a Kind of Hush.” And hits by many others, plus imitations of Johnny Cash and Mick Jagger, because in addition to great music, Noone is a very funny guy. He makes his way into the audience a few times, shaking hands and taking photographs with fans. His energy is electrifying! The place was jam-packed and everyone was having a blast.

I gave Mr. Noone several standing ovations throughout his performance; and he even shook my hand during the show.

After the performance, fans were lined up to meet and greet. I opted out because my jet lag was so bad I was seeing blurry (without even drinking alcoholic beverages!)

Nevertheless, it’s always fun to see a live show when you’re out of your area! I wonder if I was the only Jersey Girl in the audience that night?

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is a full-time associate editor; and a three-time author. Her third book “The Gypsy Smiled” (which has a rock ‘n’ roll theme) is available at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Gypsy-Smiled-Maryanne-Christiano-Mistretta/dp/1545447470

 

 

Decadent Therapy!

Published October 15, 2017 by Maryanne

Cake PhotoThat couch! It’s a beautiful thing!

(Me at Cake, NYC in the 1990s, the decade of Prozac Nation)

It always cracks me up when someone tries to win an argument by suggesting that the person they are arguing with needs therapy. Therapy-shaming is ignorant. Therapy is something everyone can benefit from, and only a narcissist would think they don’t need therapy.

Every successful, truly happy person I’ve ever met has been clearly vocal about their therapist. This leads me to believe that people who ain’t too proud to admit they could use a little help are the ones that learn to move mountains in life.

“Asking for help is always a sign of strength” – Michelle Obama.

“It’s really a wonderful thing to be able to talk to someone who doesn’t judge you.” -Katy Perry.

Since the 1960s, therapy has been in vogue. For part of the ’60s I wasn’t even born, but I became aware of the power of therapy in the 1990s. I was in my early 30s — and we were in the musical age of grunge. Back then, it seemed like everyone was depressed. Books like “Prozac Nation” were top sellers. Kurt Cobain killed himself and it was documented that some fans followed suit and killed themselves too. People started to become aware that depression and bipolar and stress were real things — for real people. And all the cool people started going to therapy.

Jumping on the band wagon, I tested the waters with a few therapists back then. The problem is, like anything else good in life, it takes some time to find a good one. But the effort is well worth it. Over the years I found a couple good ones — and from time to time, their wisdom still seeps into my brain and it’s very helpful.

Earlier this week one of my favorite friends took me to a Katy Perry concert. I wasn’t familiar with her music; then during the show, I fell in love with it. Every song was amazing — and empowering. And her stage show was epic.

I Googled Katy Perry and was incredibly impressed by all she did. She wrote all her songs; songs that had hooks, songs that were clever and fun, and told me Katy Perry could be an old soul. It made perfect sense to learn that such a super high achiever goes (or went) to therapy.

And here I am relating, because I’m at a time in my life where my career took an incredible turn for the better, which goes hand in hand with stress. Then when it comes time to “down time” you have to spend it more wisely, being more choosy about the people you want to connect with.

Once things started getting super good, career-wise, I took the advice of a few friends and started letting go of things that no longer served me. Life was always precious to me, but now even more so. Each waking moment has to count. I needed to manage my personal life like I manage my career.

So, by the advice of a psychic, I cleaned out my Facebook page, getting rid of people I’m not relating to and probably would never see again in my life. (And in their favor, they probably wouldn’t care if they never saw me again; so if they want to be snarky about it, they can post those unoriginal memes that say, “The trash took itself out.”).

I also let go of writing for two freelance publications I felt were holding me back; whether it was the stress of not liking a particular editor, or always chasing after checks that were notoriously late. It was just something that was no longer necessary to my being. TW = time wasting.

It’s a huge relief knowing that I’ll never get an email from either publication again. And I take even more comfort knowing that there are people I really can’t stand and I’ll never have to see them in my Facebook feed again!

If only every problem everyone had could disappear with a “delete” button or just saying “I quit.” But, no, that’s not going to happen.

I look so good on paper. I have the most amazing, adoring husband; the most creative, loving girlfriends; and I get to make a living as an editor, writer, and public speaker. How cool is that?

The bottom line is — I’m human. I get nervous. I get scared. I have bursts of unhappiness. I terribly miss loved ones who passed and are waiting on the other side. I worry about things that may never happen. I am too sensitive for this world.

So what do I do about it? Call a therapist. Unfortunately the one that helped me the most 10 years ago has long retired.

I found another I really like. She wasn’t in my benefits network and offered to help me find others that were. When she sent an email with names and numbers, after researching them, I wasn’t feeling it. I shook my head. I wrote back to her, “But I want YOU!”

It made no difference to me that I’d be paying out of pocket. From my short phone call with this woman, she deserves my top dollar! And, I’m worth it. My first appointment is in two weeks.

I can’t wait to get on that couch, put my cute feet up, and have some girl talk with an intelligent age-appropriate woman who wowed me over the telephone in a short consult session.

God bless that good ‘ole glamorous indulgence called therapy. If it’s good enough for Katy Perry, it’s good enough for me! ❤

I feel better already!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is a three-time author. Her second book, the fictitious “Love Cats” deals with the issues of selfish people. It’s available on Amazon in Kindle and paperback versions: https://www.amazon.com/Love-Cats-Maryanne-Christiano-Mistretta/dp/1681020513)