Fabulous Over 40 Contest

Published September 1, 2021 by Maryanne

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta

Hey Gang!

There’s a contest for women over 40, from Fab Over 40, and the winner gets 40K!

I am way over 40. I am 58 to be exact!

Currently I am in third place. Tomorrow the finals are chosen! If you have a Facebook account, please vote for me. The second button is a free vote. Or you can choose the first button and your donation will go to help support women in need.

If I win, I’ve decided I’m donating plenty to animal shelters and farm sanctuaries. I’ve recently become a vegan but have been no stranger to helping animals in need for the past few decades.

If you have a Facebook account, you can vote every day if you like at this link:

https://votefab40.com/2021/maryann-christiano-mistretta

Contact Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com She is available for over 40 modeling gigs.

Fashionably Late is Out of Style

Published August 30, 2021 by Maryanne
Photo by Pierre Bamin

I remember when I was a tween and going to a family event with my mother. I noticed the clock and said, “We’re going to be late.”

“It’s okay,” said my glamourous mom. “We will make an entrance.”

This was the 1970s and it was cool to be late. But according to Forbes magazine, it’s an old, tired trend–and that was back in 2010! However, I realized that in the 1980s. Even though bands showed up late at nightclubs, it was the cool, mysterious guests in the audience who caught my eye. It would be someone very unique looking, or very good looking. They would be with friends, or alone in a corner–early in the evening. Then before midnight, that person with the chill vibe would disappear. All that was left were the drunks and the people who really wanted to see the band.

I once had a friend who would take all day to get ready, arrive early, and then disappear before midnight, as if she were Cinderella fearing to turn into a pumpkin. Then again, many people took this route because they wanted to leave the club before the lights went on. It was a thing.

Fast forward to 2020 and being late has nothing to do with enigmatic, it’s about being punctually challenged. Many see it as rude. Someone brought this to my attention in the early 1990s. No, it wasn’t me who was late, I was always on time. But I used to host poetry readings. I wouldn’t start the event until every guest who said they were coming arrived. And some were always late. That didn’t sit well with the guests who arrived on time; or early. Can you blame them? In fact, one brought it to my attention, “Why do you wait to start? It’s not fair to us who showed up on time.” That is so true. Plus, those who came early had other parties to go to. As the Johnny Come Latelys were walking on, the early birds were walking out. Of course they didn’t want to be late for their next event.

As a person who is a stickler for being on time, I have to agree it’s very annoying when I’m made to wait. As a person in my 50s, who has lost many friends and family members, the first thing that goes through my mind when someone is late is, “I hope they are okay.”

Why would anyone want their friend to worry? If I’m running late, I always make that phone call. That’s right, a call, not a text. That’s a class act!

Arriving late at a movie theatre or concert could possibly piss off an entire row of people. So why do it?

There’s that running joke about the family member who is always late. “Oh, he will be late to his own funeral.” Ha-ha-ha, everyone laughs. But according to an article in Huff Post, running late “is not endearing, it’s not cute, it’s a flaw.” If it’s a dinner party, it can totally throw off an evening. If it’s a poetry reading, like mentioned above, or a speaking engagement, making an entrance is not something you want to do, as you will disrupt the whole event. And if you’re late in business, remember time is money. If someone shows up late for one of my phone consults, they get less time as I will still charge for the full hour.

I once waited at a coffee shop for a potential client. After a half hour, she didn’t show, nor did she answer my phone call when I tried to call her. I went on to what I was doing next. Then my cell rang. It was her–now a full hour later. She had just arrived at the place we were going to meet and I was a half hour away. I told her I was not going to do business with her. Getting off on the wrong foot like that doesn’t fly. The last thing any professional wants to deal with is a TW–Time Waster! And before you judge me and think I was being unreasonable, think about my next client. I wasn’t going to disappoint him and be late because Ms. Diva almost held me up. It doesn’t work that way.

Just remember, it’s not about you. Believing that the party starts when you get there is truly arrogant and also disrespectful to the host if he/she gives a specific time on the invite. If you have a problem arriving on time ask yourself what is causing your tardiness? Do you have a problem with time management? This is a serious issue to consider because in today’s world it’s really not cool to make someone else wait on your behalf.

If you want to be in style and make a great impression, arrive on time!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, editing, and writing. She is also available for book signings and motivational speaking engagements (via ZOOM during covid). She is now coaching aspiring writers via ZOOM.

Maryanne is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: Love Cats

My Weekend With The Amazing Kreskin

Published July 10, 2021 by Maryanne
Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta with The Amazing Kreskin!

Last weekend, I had the honor to work as celebrity handler to The Amazing Kreskin! (http://www.amazingkreskin.com/)

Some of my older readers may remember him from The Johnny Carson Show. Kreskin is a mentalist who became popular as a guest on talk shows in the 1970s.

For four days, I was hired to serve as his assistant. I drove him from his home in New Jersey, where he lives with four beautiful cats, up to NE ComicCon (https://necomiccons.com/), at the Regency Hotel in Boxoboro, Massachusetts.

Thursday, July 1, we drove up to Massachusetts during a blinding rain storm. It was an adventure I’ll never forget. It took seven hours to make a 4.5 hour trip.

The next day, Kreskin signed autographs and sold plenty of merch. Saturday afternoon, he did a Q&A segment (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7seM7iODYE), followed by an evening performance, which truly was AMAZING! And now, I can tell you firsthand, his act is not rigged in any way, shape or form. He is the real deal!

Other notables at NE ComicCon were Tim Rice, who designed the puppets in Fraggle Rock and Dark Crystal; Butch Patrick, actor best known for playing Eddie Munster on The Munsters television show; (https://www.instagram.com/the_real_butch_patrick_/?hl=en) and actor John Capodice.

Of all the cool things I’ve done in my career, this is truly one for the books. In addition to helping out Kreskin, I’ve made some great friends; and I am also now helping out booking Kreskin for gigs!

If you are interested in having Kreskin perform at your event, contact me directly at: maryannechristiano@maryannemistretta

Tim Rice and The Amazing Kreskin

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta and John Capodice
The Amazing Kreskin at home with one of his four kitties.

For Death She Ain’t Ready

Published May 3, 2021 by Maryanne
Photo by Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta

FOR DEATH SHE AIN’T READY

That girl over there,

For death she ain’t ready,

Too young to see The Beatles,

But she saw Queen – with Freddie.

 

Of middle age, but still seems young,

Seems her life’s so full of fun.

Yet she hurts so hard, deep down inside,

So many dreams still unrealized.

 

You’re in a tough spot between life and death.

Far from youth, but elders shamelessly disrespect.

No matter what you’ve accomplished, what you did…

They still see you as a stupid kid.

 

Gets so far, gets pushed back some,

Don’t make it easy when friends die young.

Get back up and set to win,

Inspired by Tolle and Dispenza – again and again and again.

 

 

,

Book Review: “Face” by Justine Bateman

Published May 1, 2021 by Maryanne

It was a chore getting through this book. I kept putting it down because it was so depressing, though I like Justine’s style of writing. I had high hopes as I read the beginning where Justine wrote about how proud she is of her aging face. (She truly is beautiful, cool looking, and has a slammin’ body and great hair).

The bad news is, the stories were nonsensical. It’s just a bunch of rambling from insecure women who took to heart insensitive comments from misogynist, ageist men. Thank God these shallow Neanderthal fools who judge women on their looks are the exception–not the rule. Let them have their gold digging younger women who will leave them in the end anyway. Who cares!

I’m on Facebook regularly and I see so many positive things male fans of all ages write to older female celebrities. They ask Julie Newmar out to dinner; they say how hot Jill Biden is; and our sisters, fellow women, praise the natural beauty of aging models like Isabella Rossellini. Older women are now celebrated more than over, making this book very dated.
As women, we have choices. Go where they love is. It doesn’t make sense to stay with a man who expects you not to age (or judgmental, insecure female friends who expect you to go for Botox treatments with them — or fat shame you even if you’re still a size 6, but no longer a 4). They are the weirdos. Let’s stop giving them attention.

I have a brother-in-law who said it best, “A woman who is a 6 can easily be a 10 with a great personality.”
Men have evolved since the 1980s; let’s give men more credit and stop producing pity party books like this, as it only addresses a small percent of the man-child population who haven’t grown up to be real men yet.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta is in the process of writing her next book “Fantastic Without Plastic” which will be a positive book on aging naturally. She is still seeking participants. If you are over 50 and have not altered your face, please be in touch.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, editing, and writing. She is also available for book signings and motivational speaking engagements (via ZOOM during covid). She is now coaching aspiring writers via ZOOM.

Maryanne is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: Love Cats

Happy May!

Published May 1, 2021 by Maryanne
Acrylic painting by Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta

It’s been a long time since I last blogged.

The last few months were life-changing to say the least. I’ve been a professional writer most of my adult life. At the beginning of the year I was writing for several magazines and blogging. As a writer, it’s a gift that comes from a higher place. I write so people understand me, as if I’m speaking to a friend. That said, I write fast.

As every professional writer knows, there’s a business side to it. The dark side where you have to ask your client, “Where is my pay?” When clients disrespect this and don’t pay you on time, it’s frustrating to have to be a collection agent, for money you earned. So with that, I’ve decided to stop writing professionally so much; and to see it more as an art. After I made that decision, I began writing more poetry. I felt a creative spark in me that I haven’t felt in a long time. Writing for me — not for money. What a great concept!

Then I said to myself, what could be my next career move? I’m too young to retire. So, I began taking classes to become a certified feline behaviorist. I am so good with cats, especially feral ones. Six lessons in, I’ve gotten all high grades of 95 and 100. If I can prevent just one family from bringing their cat back to a shelter, my work is done.

I also took art classes. I do not see myself making art as a career, but I LOVE it! It’s just something I like to do and am finally making the time for it again. Enjoy the painting. It’s supposed to be a purple iris. I chose “purple” because it represents royalty and independence; in honor of my always supportive husband, who treats me like royalty and respects my independance.

I am blessed.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, editing, and writing. She is also available for book signings and motivational speaking engagements (via ZOOM during covid). She is now coaching aspiring writers via ZOOM.

Maryanne is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: Love Cats

Why Q&A Style Interviews are Not True Journalism

Published February 23, 2021 by Maryanne
Photo by Marcel Straub

One of the benefits of being a self-employed writer is you get to pick and choose who you want to write for.

As a professional writer, mainly trained in news journalism, I include the subject’s voice in the content of the story. For example, see my recent articles here: https://maryannechristiano.contently.com/

That’s the preferred way to write for news publications. Oftentimes magazines opt for the Q&A type of interview. I did it myself a few times via blogging, or by special request of an editor or publisher. In this feature blog I wrote a few years ago when I conducted an interview with Coyote Shivers, it was done via email due to time constraints, with him being on the west coast, and me being on the east: https://maryannemistretta.wordpress.com/2015/09/01/dont-believe-a-word-interview-with-coyote-shivers/

That somehow worked, because you can’t go wrong with Coyote Shivers. But often it doesn’t. And here’s why….

When I used to copy edit for The Aquarian Arts Weekly, I wasn’t a fan of reading the Q&A style articles. It cheapens the subject the journalist is writing about and comes across as cold and not as informative. It’s an easy way to get “holes” (missing information) that leaves the reader questioning. This is why I don’t like when subjects say “Email me the questions” unless you’re interviewing a professional who is using medical terms and formulas that only other medical professionals will understand — for example, a trade publication. To chop up an article to a Q&A format so readers can look at it on their phones is not true journalism. I won’t work for any publisher who promotes tainting the art of true journalism.

When “journalists” resort to Q&A “journalism” they think it is cute to insert “um” or “uh” into the article if that is what the subject said. It’s not cute. It’s no fair. Your job, as a journalist, is to bring forth the subject in the best light possible. It’s also your job, as a journalist to ask the subject “Is this ‘on the record’ if they get comfortable with you and share very personal information. Journalism is a responsibility to your subject and your readers. Do it right. Just say “no” to the Q&A format.

I recently wrote a few articles for a publisher. It wasn’t until AFTER I interviewed the subjects and submitted my work that he bitched that it wasn’t in Q&A format. Wow, thanks for telling me that I worked too hard after the fact and that I could have slacked off a bit and you’d be happier with my work. (Note my sarcasm). I told him to “call me.”

When I got him on the phone, I was told that his webmaster said that Q&A format is better for SEO search engines and that people can read articles on their PHONE better with Q&A format. That’s a new one on me. Now journalists have to write in that tacky Q&A format to cater to those who only read on their phones?!

Uh, no. Writing is my art. Tell Freddie Mercury to cut “Bohemian Rhapsody” down to cater to the dullards with weak ears and a short listening span. DUH.

After that conversation, I agree to cut ties with this particular publisher. Yes, I am self-employed, but that doesn’t mean I am desperate. Telling me to write in Q&A style to suit those who read on their phones would be like telling Joe Dispenza to write for the National Enquirer. It would be going backwards. Way backwards.

I worked so hard to make a career in writing. I write because it’s in my heart and soul. I write because it’s in my blood. If I’m going to write articles in Q&A style for a living, I might as well go all out and start getting paid to write product descriptions for Walmart. How heartbreaking would that be?

They say when you do something you love, you never work a day in your life. I stand by that wholeheartedly. But “never working a day in your life” doesn’t mean doing sloppy, easy work that you are not proud of. I could never be proud writing article after article Q&A style. It would be like cutting my arm off. Just thinking about it brings a tear to my eye. That’s why I’m a writer. I am sensitive and protective of my muse. And I always will be. When publishers hire me, they will get my best. If they want me to perform my worst in order to get their SEO searches up, I am out the door.

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, ghost writing, writing. She is also available for book signings and motivational speaking engagements (via ZOOM during covid). She is now coaching aspiring writers via ZOOM.

Maryanne is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: Love Cats

Just Call Me Honey!

Published February 21, 2021 by Maryanne

Blink your eye and there’s yet another thing that offends people — particularly women.

I guess I missed the memo that “honey” is now offensive. I did not know that. However some young feminist pointed out to me that I am “part of the problem” because I don’t see how “honey” is offensive.

I’m sorry. I don’t.

Maybe it’s generational, as I am 57-years-old. But I’ve been called “honey” by both men and women since I was a little girl and I think it’s absolutely adorable. One time I was called “honey bunny” by an older gum-cracking waitress. It brought me right back to the 1960s. I felt special.

Anytime I hear “honey” I think of something positive — the land of milk and honey or an incredible woman, like in the song “Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro. The young bride died young and he is longing for her. Honey is all things good.

Other great songs with the word “honey” include: “Just Like Honey” by Jesus and Mary Chain; “Sugar Sugar” – oh, honey honey by Ron Dante; and “Honey Pie” by the Beatles.

Angel guitarist Punky Meadows calls his lady friends “honey” on Facebook. I’d be honored if Punky Meadows called me “honey.”

Honey is a term of endearment. It means you are awesome. When someone calls you “honey” it means they like you. But sadly, now you can’t even say nice things like “honey” or “sweetie” in a work environment. Instead we get the cold “ma’am.” And to me, THAT is disturbing. People have been so brainwashed about what is politically correct, that we’ve become so robotic. It’s a wonder young people even pair up anymore because there is nothing sexy about the way they talk. They are so homogenized.

And before you start thinking of me as some misogyny-tolerating Trump supporter — I’m not. However, I am a person who thinks for myself and doesn’t jump on the politically correct band wagon when I feel it’s not necessary. If being feminist means standing up for what you believe in, I will call my own party on their bullshit. And for the record, I had this conversation with a female Democratic feminist last night who agrees with me 100 percent.

With all the issues we COULD fight about, nitpicking over something harmless like “honey,” YOU — not me — are part of the problem. So, keep stressing yourself out over it. Me, I’ll just enjoy it. Just call me Honey!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, ghost writing, writing. She is also available for book signings and motivational speaking engagements (via ZOOM during covid). She is now coaching aspiring writers via ZOOM.

Maryanne is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: Love Cats

The Holiday Channel Christmas Wonderthon

Published December 24, 2020 by Maryanne

I’m so honored and excited to be in this production!

I’ll be playing the role of Carol, a war reporter.

Be sure to save the date and tune in!

Maryanne Christiano-Mistretta can be reached at: maryannechristiano@gmail.com.

She is available for blogging, ghost writing, writing. She is also available for book signings and motivational speaking engagements (via ZOOM during covid). She is now coaching aspiring writers via ZOOM.

Maryanne is the author of the following books:

“Be (Extra)Ordinary: 10 Ways to Become Your Own Hero” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback or Kindle version, visit:Be (Extra)Ordinary

“I Don’t Want to Be Like You” is available on Amazon. To get your paperback, Kindle or audio copy, go here: I Don’t Want To Be Like You

Her fiction book “Love Cats” second printing is now available, under the pen name Krystianna Mercury, from Pink Flamingo. You can purchase it here: Love Cats